Archives for the month of: September, 2012

When things aren’t quite going your way, it’s easy to fall into the grass is always greener syndrome. But as the saying goes, before you judge a man (or covet his life), walk a mile in his shoes.

You don’t have to turn back the clock , eat a magical fortune cookie, ride in a souped up DeLorean or relieve yourself in an enchanted fountain to discover your life and relationships are exactly as they should be, or get the kick in the butt to make them better.

The fact is our lives are the sum total of all the choices we’ve ever made up until this point – a combination unique unto ourselves, which means we have created the situation that on some level we’ve wanted or needed in order to learn and grow on this journey called life.

So whatever your state of affairs, take full responsibility for it. The good news is that if you don’t like it, because you got yourself into it, you totally have the power to get out of it!

A lot of my clients right now are at the point of no return – where there’s no turning back or delaying the inevitable any longer.  They’ve gotten to a place where the only thing to do is to go through – there is no way round, there is no way back – they need to make a change or take action in a certain direction because at this point there really is no other alternative, whether because of forced external realities or an internal malaise and dissatisfaction that they can no longer withstand.

Why changes haven’t been made up to now is a more complicated and varied topic for another time; often it’s a stronger sense of obligation to others and what they would want or would make them happy that prevents us from moving forward to the beat of our own drum. But contrary to Hollywood plots, we are the ones who have to live in our bodies, so it’s up to us to do what needs to be done. It’s time to go big or go home.

Not fully convinced you don’t have to go all topsy turvy or time-travelly to get it right? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the freaky fictional device that helps you wake up and smell the coffee. You’ll understand and appreciate where you’re at and what changes you can make in order to learn and experience whatever you need to be the best you can be, Right Here, Right Now.

I’d love to get your feedback about my weekly eblasts and services. *Click here to take a survey and give me your two cents!*

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One thing we know for sure is that history, unfortunately, often repeats itself. War is rarely simple or justified. We’ve had so many movies and video games laden with violence that as a society we’ve become desensitized. What we see on the big screen is now starting to unfold in reality on the small;  even still there has been so much massive tragedy and destruction the last several years, both natural and man-made, it doesn’t even phase us as much as it should. As long as we still have our DWTS, American Idol and Jersey Shore we can numb ourselves and tune out.  When will we ever learn?

Because we’ve been lulled into such a state of complacency and so many are dealing with financial survival, the gravity of what happened this weekend* is barely registering our richter scale. But if you can’t comprehend and connect globally, then at least reflect and act locally.

There’s a old song that says “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.” So the question is: Are you at war with yourself? Is your head battling your heart and gut as to the direction it wants to go, or your body struggling with your mind and not doing what you need it to?  Where in your life is history repeating itself? What conflicts are constantly being re-created with different uniforms, labels, scenarios and countries?

As Bob Marley sang, we don’t need No More Trouble, not only with our multi-front wars in the Middle East, but our wars at home on the middle class,  women’s health, Muslims, and homosexuals to name a few. Right now we’re Rock in the Casbah but at the end of the day All You Need is Love, so start by learning to Love the One You’re Withyourself and those closest to you. Then, and only then, can we start to truly stand united and break the chains of our past.

As Yogi Berra famously said, ‘It ain’t over til it’s over’, so if you’re feeling like you’ve been stuck in a Nick at Nite  M*A*S*H marathon loop, give me a buzz and we’ll pull the plug, launch Operation Open Heart and finish this thing once and for all

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted in full on March 22, 2011)

 P.S. I want your Two Cents Click here for a survey to tell me what you think about my stuff!

Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength. ~ Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. ~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau

I find it curious that the word patient has two distinct meanings, yet both encompass bearing some level of discomfort over a period of time (even if it’s just being in the waiting room of a doctor’s office!).

We all have individual and collective anniversaries, memories and milestones that we share to some degree or another; regardless if they were positive or negative, hopefully you are able to see the growth and healing that has since transpired. Tomorrow will mark three months to the day  my mom underwent open heart surgery and after minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week of attention, care and rest, she was back out at her clubs  (yes plural, and yes, as in nightclubs/dancing) this past weekend.

It’s truly amazing what time can do when you give it a chance to work its magic. But in this action-oriented -left -brained- results- demanding- pill -for-everything-instant-information-fast-food society we now find ourselves, time gets a bad rap.  Faster is perceived to always be better and action trumps rest in the eyes of others.  With almost everything available to us on demand and bottles of 5 hour energy at our disposal, we’ve grown impatient beyond reasonable expectations.

“Patience is a virtue” and “Time heals all wounds” are two of my favorite adages, because they express the type of ‘muscles’ I’ve exercised and ‘tools’ I’ve developed – you guessed it – over time – as they become realities when you see the proof in the pudding. In my coaching and speaking work, I am constantly trying to get folks to understand that despite the fact that we are living in a 24/7 instant access technological wonderland, that in fact Nature does not work that way – the acorn does not become an oak tree overnight!

Clients are often frustrated with me when I advise them not to do anything that they consider as ‘doing’ or will have a direct and immediate impact on their job search or life’s path. What I suggest doesn’t mean they should sit around twiddling their thumbs, it’s about understanding that there is a process; it’s inner work through activities that don’t seem ‘productive’ or results-producing, when in fact they are the true heavy lifting of personal growth.  We all have wounds that need to be healed, and not addressing them or allowing them the time and space to do so is often what blocks us from moving forward, therefore, that is where time and energy needs to be spent!

I am always planting seeds when I work with clients, giving them ideas and suggestions they may not necessarily be ready to implement immediately, but something they should think about, pay attention to and consider down the road. I also guide them towards the many stepping stones they need to take on the path to their ultimate goal, whether they are aware of that goal or not.

The philosopher Kierkegaard said, “Patience is necessary, and one cannot reap immediately where one has sown.”   I have had the pleasure to find out recently how many of my clients are beginning to reap what they have sown, with projects, jobs and opportunities that are only now coming to fruition, one, two and even four years after we met, which is extremely rewarding and only reinforces the ‘method to my madness’.

The paradox and balancing trick of course is that time doesn’t stop; it can pass us by quickly so we need to be in motion with it and ‘make hay while the sun shines.’  But on the other hand we need to accept and be comfortable with what is realistic in terms of how long things take to change and develop. Just like we are all students in this school called Life, we are all patients in the healing of our lives which is part of what growing means – healing the wounds of our past so we can move forward ever more healthy and strong.

Need a little help on your journey from acorn to oak tree, or from wounded to well?  Give me a buzz and I’ll take a look to see how you can use the gift of time to speed things up or slow them down, keeping in mind, that might just be the opposite of what you think…

P.S. For related thoughts on this topic check out my posts A More Perfect Union, One Day at a Time, Tangible Schmangible

P.P.S. Have you seen the article yet on Forbes.com:What I Learned Working with a Career Coach? Please share with your peeps and tell them to join my mailing list. 

I’d love to get your feedback about my weekly eblasts and services.  Click here to take a survey and give me your two cents!

I sent out my very first Personal Growth Gab (PGG) in January 2010. Since then they seemed to have formed an avid and faithful following based on unsolicited feedback I’ve received when I run into folks at events, or a few of you who email me directly with your comments (“They’re the only emails I read” “They really help me” “I look forward to them” “It’s a great way to start my week” “I wait until I get home and read them with a cup of tea” “You’re such a good writer”), all of which help me to know that they are not being sent out into the virtual atmosphere in vain.

I always intend for PGG to be a ‘weekly dose of thought-provoking, inspirational and entertaining helpful tidbits to keep you connected with yourself and make sense of this journey called life.’  and so for my own “back to school” task, I’d love to get your solicited feedback to make sure I’m accomplishing that goal, and have put together a little survey for you here.

It will be live until Friday, September 28th, so please fill it out whenever you have a moment prior to that date – it should only take about 10 minutes, and as a thank you, I’ll be offering a $10 discount on any of my services good through 12/31/12. (Please note: the survey is anonymous, but if you would like to take advantage of the discount, you’ll have to identify yourself at the end).

In the meantime, if you are looking for your weekly PGG fix, here are a few relevant posts for you to choose from, and remember you can always visit my website at any time, which has every post from the past two and a half years:

Labor Pains

An Apple for the Teacher

Moonies, Mormons & Muslims

Thanks so much for your help!

Click here to take the survey now 

 P.S. Have you seen the article yet on Forbes.com:What I Learned Working with a Career Coach? Please share with your peeps and tell them to join my mailing list. 

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