Archives for the month of: June, 2019

We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.~ Dalai Lama

He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I was recently asked by an attendee at one of my talks, “Are you happy?” It was the first time I had been so directly posed that question, and it took a minute to figure out how I would answer, because for me, happiness is not a state of being; it’s a superficial feeling, a temporary, descriptive way to express a reaction to a gesture, creature comfort or occasion.

I answered by saying I don’t really think about being “happy” but am generally able to navigate life in a way that does not fluster me at my core. In other words, my overall evaluation of my existence does not depend on whichever way the wind is blowing. At this point in my life, I am grounded in and connected to who I am, surfing the unpredictability and chaos of external circumstances as they arise, experiencing joy and pleasure when appropriate, and mitigating the inevitable stress and sorrow with various tools and techniques I have gathered and developed to get me through when times are not so hunky-dory (there are plenty!). And I am grateful for it all, as I know in the end whatever is happening is for my greater good.

I do work that is immensely fulfilling and have relationships I value tremendously. I am constantly growing and evolving by overcoming challenges big and small, and I allow myself to rest and reflect until another cycle begins. I am human, therefore I strive to understand and accept everything that entails. I have my own issues and areas of growth and healing that call out to be addressed; I feel my feelings and give them the space, time and respect to inform me of what has to be confronted or released, either internally or externally in a particular situation, and then heed the call to the best of my ability. I pay attention to and take care of my needs. I go with the flow. I recognize and honor the fact that I am a creative being. I love and trust myself.

It was a long answer to what appeared to be a simple question. The next day, upon further reflection, I realized the simple answer: What I was saying was that I am at peace, which is far more profound. Or put another way, having a sense of inner peace = my version of being happy.

With all the emphasis and research in our current culture on “happiness” — an obsession only magnified and distorted by social media — you can be easily fooled into thinking you are somehow deficient in this department. The better question to ask yourself is “Am I at peace?” Happiness is great while it lasts, but that’s the point — it’s transient. Yet with awareness, practice and discipline over time, peace can be permanent.

Peace allows you to be the calm in the center of a storm, and the glow of joy in the midst of abundance.

Peace acknowledges that there are ups and downs and stresses in life, but it never lets you be affected by them in the deepest part of who you are.

Peace means even in times of anxiety or fear, you are just observing surface feelings that wreak havoc on your psyche until you recognize what they are trying to teach you — which is usually an exercise in love and acceptance of yourself and the here and now and/or what you can and cannot control.

Peace is the solid foundation that becomes integrated in every cell of your being and accompanies you with whomever and wherever you are.

As the great Mahatma Gandhi said, Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.”

I often quote the song, “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.” It may be too hippy-dippy or cliche for you, but it’s true. As I say in my talks, we all have our individual spheres of influence, i.e., “happy wife, happy life.” We all know how it feels to be around someone in a good mood, who’s truly relaxed, maybe just back from a vacation or in love, or one of those rare folks who just embodies a sustained level of chill and contentment. Conversely, when someone is really down, toxic, or generally negative in outlook, we know how that can permeate the entire environment.

Emotional energy and good or bad vibes are contagious— especially to those of us who are highly sensitive. You must realize then that no matter who you are, you have more influence than you think you do. Who do you want to be: someone who brings peace, calm and/or joy wherever you go or in times of crisis, or the Debbie or Dougie Downer, the Negative Nelly or Neil, the one who poisons the atmosphere around you? Here’s where you don’t need a special superpower or fancy costume to be a hero!

Train yourself to be mindful of what you are putting out there or carrying with you; go inward to listen to yourself instead of automatically focusing outward to distraction or detachment. Express gratitude wherever you can in thought, word and deed. Bring your awareness and attention to every moment, to what are you thinking, feeling and sensing about the truth and reality of the situation AS IT IS — not as you are doomsday-ing it to be or wishing it was or regurgitating some imagined past version of a problem — because today’s realization is what creates tomorrow’s solution. The more you can Be Here Now, the more you can exercise that presence muscle, the deeper the well of peace you can draw upon when you need it most.

Have you been crying lately, Thinkin’ about the world as it is? As I have often said, especially in these tumultuous times, each of us has a responsibility to create “peace in our piece of the pie.” What are you doing to contribute? ’Cause out on the edge of darkness, There rides a Peace Train.

Want to get all aboard but not sure how? Give me a buzz, and I’ll be the conductor who puts you on the right track. We’ll fire up the steam engine and get you smiling on a regular basis, thinking about the good things to come!

(*Today’s PGG was originally published May 23, 2017)

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Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

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As we watch with heartbreak and compassion the devastating aftermath of the earthquake in Japan*, it’s a good time to reflect on (or react to) where that tectonic plate is in your life that needs to be released of its tension? Where do you need to prevent a tsunami or nuclear fallout from occurring, or recover from one that just did?

We all have areas of life that we tend to neglect more than others, allowing things to build up over time. Like Mother Nature’s need to release her pent-up pressure through a variety of earth – and weather-based events, our unbalanced energy has to go somewhere. And when not addressed it gets buried within us as fat or addictions, crushing debt, unhealthy relationships, dead-end jobs, physical or mental illness or a general malaise until one day the walls come a tumblin’ down – because if you don’t take care of it, the Universe eventually will.

As the saying goes, we often need to have a breakdown before we can have a breakthrough; it’s just life showing us where change is required. What emotions have been repressed that need to be released with a good cry or a sweaty workout? Is your mind about to crack (hopefully not like Charlie Sheen’s did, which on the surface appears entertaining but is no joking matter)? Is a relationship, career, job search or financial situation beyond repair or in need of a big ole tune-up? Is your body giving you a hard time?

Change is one thing that is certain in life, and it is most definitely in the air at the moment. Embracing it and going with the flow makes dealing with change easier and less stressful, so heed the wisdom from a certain 70’s hit TV series, when Peter was going through puberty and the Brady kids sang,very groovily I might add, “When it’s time to change, then it’s time to change/ Don’t fight the tide, come along for the ride.” It means that “…you’ve got to re-arrange who you are into what you’re gonna be. (Try getting that song out of your head now… Sha na na na na).

Change is always good if we respond to it in the right way- by accepting our state of affairs and our responsibility in its creation, and by facing the fears of what actions are necessary to confront it, all the while knowing that we will be better, stronger, and wiser for having done so. And, we need to deal with the reality of the situation as it is, not as we would like it to be.

Not sure where the seismic activity or cresting river is in your life? Like Luke Skywalker or Jamiroquai, you can always Use the Force, or just give me a buzz and I’ll provide some rescue, relief and/or recovery to help you avoid a full-on meltdown and instead enjoy the ride!

(*Today’s PGG was originally published March 15, 2011)

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Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over fifty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

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There is a deeper world than this

That you don’t understand

There is a deeper world than this

Tugging at your hand

~ Sting, Love is the Seventh Wave

Besides what we hear about the 1% and the increasing disparity between the rich and poor, there is a growing epidemic of another kind of poverty that has nothing to do with the amount of money in a bank account: a lack of connection to ourselves, each other, the world around us, and something greater that holds it all together.

I’ve been noticing a trend in my clients lately, many considered millennials or “digital natives” (essentially those who have never lived during a time without PCs, texting and social media), who are rife with angst and a level of discontent and self-doubt usually reserved for those in the midst of a midlife crisis, empty-nest syndrome, or more dire circumstances.

And it’s not just young people who are dealing with this; it simply shows up in a more pronounced way. On the surface they seem to have everything going for them — they are highly educated and have decent first or second jobs, they have good health and no major responsibilities like kids or a mortgage — but somehow they feel they haven’t achieved enough, they are bored or are missing something but can’t quite put their finger on it. In older folks it comes through as unspecified anxiety, career or relationship frustration, mental scatteredness or erratic communication, an inability to sit still or relax deeply, or a feeling of “Is this all there is?” when thinking about the rest of their life.

And no matter what your age, because of our now 24/7 and 360 degree digital lifestyle, there is severe FMO and a (mostly) subconscious habit of comparing ourselves to each other that is self-sabotaging, making us feel “less than” or deficient in some way — whether it’s about the hot boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/spouse you’ll never attract, the dream job that alluded you, the baby you do or don’t yet have, the great vacations you can’t afford, all the amazing friends you never hang out with or “like” your Facebook posts or Instagram photos … etc. You get the #nofilter picture.

Underneath it all seems to be a deep-seated fear of the unknown and feeling of powerlessness over our lives and a world that is rapidly transforming before our eyes in ways that are not always positive or hopeful. The worry and rudderlessness is often magnified by social media and all else that is vying for our attention, time and energy.

Does any of the above sound like you? If so, take a moment to do a reality check. My guess is that you likely have what I am now dubbing “life dysmorphia” — meaning your sense of your life and how “bad” you presume it to be is either highly distorted or simply not true, and the reasons you are unhappy or stuck are not what you might think.

As in my coaching sessions, seminars and previous PGGs, my solution for this is always to GO DEEP, as technology keeps us on superficial ground. Detach from the virtual world and plunge into the depths of your own thoughts, feelings, relationships and the mysteries of the Universe.

Whether you are 25, 65 or somewhere in between — and I have worked with all ages — the antidote to this unsettled, dissatisfied existential state is to be SELF-centered in a foundation of worthiness and value; find purpose and meaning in your work; express yourself creatively; demonstrate faith and trust in yourself, the process and the Universe; and be open to giving and receiving LOVE. And stay in your own lane.

Most important, as I say in nearly all of my talks and to my clients: Get out of your head and into your body — which means operating from your gut and heart — and be grounded in who you are.

It’s about staying present and standing where your feet are at. It’s about having conversations IRL. It’s about being congenial, forming community and raising consciousness. It’s about taking the time to spend with actual people; to commune with yourself, others and the world around you. To feel alive in flesh and blood, not just in our minds projected and framed into an online existence. It’s about creating instead of consuming. It’s about remembering we are humans, not robots or avatars in a fantasy version of reality.

And cultivate relationships. Relationships to every kind of person, family or stranger, friend or lover, store clerk or sibling, and whatever you want to call that force greater than ourselves. When you go deeper into yourself and can truly relax and be present, you free up more internal space for love to flow between you and yourself or any of the people in your life, and yes, even those you just met, because we are all part of the same brother/sister/gender-neutral ‘hood.

I’m a big hugger (see the PGG Six Seconds :). I often hug people I don’t have a lot history with or even know well or at all, but if there is that spark of connection or some wavelength I click with, dig or admire in another, because I am “primed,” it allows positive energy to be exchanged through an embrace. That is real, and much, much more powerful and nourishing than a “like” on FB. Also, when the internal pipes are blocked or lie dormant, not only can your love not flow, but your creativity can’t be expressed, which is another surefire way to feel disconnected from your own vitality. So don’t be afraid to open the floodgates!

Not sure how to become less Fragile in these disorienting times? Before you send an SOS to the world, give me a buzz and I will help tear down that Fortress Around Your Heart so you can Send Your Love to yourself and others. As humans, that’s the best way We’ll Be Together, and you’ll be doing your part in creating a Brand New Day for us all!

(Today’s PGG was originally published August 11, 2017)

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Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over fifty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

 Facebook Twitter Instagram LinkedIn YouTube

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