Leadership expert Steven Covey says, “When we listen with the intent to understand others, rather than with the intent to reply, we begin true communication and relationship building.”

While sitting in Bryant Park recently, two bright young lads approached me and asked some very personal questions about my thoughts on life.  Although they didn’t come right out and say it, turns out they were missionaries for the Unification Church, otherwise known as the Moonies.

The funny thing is that the very day before, I had watched an interview with the creators of the highly acclaimed new musical Book of Mormon and the topic of missionaries and religion was top of mind, so I was more open than usual to engage with them while soaking up some sun.

Instead of automatically dismissing them, I asked where they were from  (one was from Wyoming, the other from Washington state), what they had experienced since they’d been in New York, and what they hoped to gain while here. I did offer my opinion about how trying to convince people of what to believe was a pretty fruitless endeavor, that each individual is on their own path and needs to come to their own understanding of religion, spirituality, etc., in their own way, in their own time.

I suggested that they should just do what they love, be the best version of themselves  that they can be, which in itself would accomplish more than anything else. I hoped that they would savor this experience of traveling and meeting so many different types of people,from themselves, which would do more to enrich their lives and connection to humanity than actually recruiting others to their belief system.

It was a pleasant and respectful conversation, and I think we each came away feeling it was a positive interaction. I did ask about some of the principles and mission of the church, which I did not necessarily disagree with, as I can always find points of connection with just about anyone – because there is a little bit of all of us in each other, and a little bit of truth in everything if you listen and look for it. We have much more in common than we think we do.

With so much anti-Muslim sentiment and political divisiveness these days, on top of a crumbling planet and economy, Brotherly (& Sisterly!) Love, under whatever label you’d like to call it, is the only glue that will hold together a planet that is currently patched together, to coin a good friend’s term, with bubble gum and rubber bands.

So if you’re feeling like Humpty Dumpty, Little Bo Peep’s lost sheep or Michael Stipe, give me a buzz and I’ll proselytize you to yourself, converting you into your biggest believer, so you can get out there and make your corner of the world a little brighter for us all!

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on March 29, 2011)

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A good friend would often quote a Yiddish saying to me: Mentsch tracht, Gott lacht; Man plans, God laughs.

The renowned Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh more eloquently elaborates on this as: “People sacrifice the present for the future. But life is possible only in the present.”

In this era of instant everything and a world of answers literally at our fingertips, one of the hardest things for us to do is live in that space where we don’t know what will happen next. With the unemployment at record-high rates, more and more people are learning the hard way how to experience life in this manner.

People in career transition, artists, and freelancers have to operate without knowing where their next paycheck will be coming from.  People in new relationships are at often at sea in uncharted emotional waters.  Whenever we put ourselves in unfamiliar social territory or a take a trip to a place we’ve never been before we journey into the unknown – which is why it’s so important to travel; it is one of the most natural ways to be in the present.

An easy way to add anxiety and stress in your life is to allow yourself to be overwhelmed with all the things you think you need to accomplish in the near or not so near future. The reality is that we can’t possibly know what tomorrow will bring so we might as well trust that the right decision or action today will lead you to where you need to go, even if you don’t know where you are ultimately going.

So when life is a big question mark, a blank slate, or if you find yourself in terra incognita, I can help you fill in the blanks and navigate your way through, or simply show you how to be where you are.  Give me a buzz and I will be the lighthouse in the fog or the compass in your pocket, to help guide you to your most authentic destination, in time and on time!

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on September 14, 2010)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

I am not a teacher, but an awakener. ~ Robert Frost

The dream begins, most of the time, with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you on to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called truth . ~ Dan Rather

Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher. ~ Japanese proverb

It’s that time of year when notebooks and knapsacks abound and all sorts of new beginnings and nerves are in the air, bringing the possibilities and excitement that arrive with the start of an academic year. Whether or not we find ourselves in an actual classroom this Fall, we are all students in this school called Life, which means that anyone and any situation can be our teacher, and education can come in all shapes and forms.

It is often those who are closest to us who teach us the exact lessons we never knew we needed (or wanted) to learn – either directly, like my six year old niece, who in her own words very calmly told my brother she wished he hadn’t found the prescription sunglasses he lost for the umpteenth time because he needed to learn to pay better attention to his personal possessions and the harsher consequences of their non-recovery; or indirectly, like a co-worker, friend or family member who likes to talk a lot forces you to be a better listener, have more patience and/or set boundaries

And whatever “class” you are in, sometimes you must first fail miserably in order to then pass with flying colors, because you can’t learn anything without making a few mistakes, a little trial and error to perfect that which we need to master…. Hopefully you can figure out that the experience itself was the teacher, or have someone around to help glean what you need to learn and grow as a result. The good news is that you will never repeat a class when you’ve truly learned a lesson the hard way, and if you’re lucky, sometimes you can even have a teacher who helps you skip several grades.

Whether you think like Pink Floyd or feel like Lauryn Hill, learning is a lifelong process and everything serves its purpose in the bigger picture for you to graduate at the end of your life with honors.

So this September, be grateful for all those amazing teachers you’ve had both inside the classroom and out. Thank the role models, mentors and instructors who serve as great examples of achievement and inspiration as well as the challenging bosses, employees and clients, the bullies and mean girls, the tough coach, your current or ex-boy/girlfriend/partner/spouse, your pain in the neck big or little brother/sister, anyone who gave you a hard time, and especially those difficult “tests” you endured because they too helped form your character and are all opportunities to make you a better you.

Need to repeat (or stop repeating) a few classes or get a little tutoring to bring you closer to the grade you deserve? Give me a buzz and I’ll be sure you get a gold star or A+ on that project, because you can make your life much closer to a 4.0 than you could ever imagine!

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on September 6, 2011)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON