Archives for the month of: October, 2014

Synergy – the bonus that is achieved when things work together harmoniously.~ Mark Twain

I find it curious that the words desperate and disparate sound so similar; and although their meanings are distinct and technically have nothing to do with each other, I think there is a correlation.

A well known strategy used by one group to influence power over another is to ‘divide and conquer’; it keeps people, things, countries, ideas, religions and feeling separate and often opposed to one another. This way they are unable to come together as a unified force and don’t have the strength to accomplish their goals and objectives, which disempowers them. It is an extremely effective tactic, regardless of whether the power desired or deserved outcome on either end is good or bad.

The most obvious place to observe this happening is in the military and political arenas, but there are more subtle ways that this truth can affect us in our everyday lives – within our families, at our jobs, in our neighborhoods, in the media and entertainment we consume, and often, within ourselves.

Lately I’ve noticed a lot of folks are feeling disjointed, fragmented and compartmentalized at best; discombobulated or defeated at worst. Everywhere we turn there seems to be a sledgehammer creating wedges, with myriad of distractions coming at us from all sides: It’s us against them, head against heart, black vs. white, profit vs. people, logic battling intuition, young vs. old; material values vs. spiritual ones, mental vs. emotional health vs. physical health.

As the saying goes, we can’t serve two masters. We must be unified in that which we revere and honor, integrate our disparate parts and connect connect to who we are in order to connect to others for the greater good. Because when we don’t we feel lost and alone, which can lead to feeling desperate. And that is not a place we want to be – because decisions made out of fear and desperation are never the best choices.

So if you’re having a little trouble synthesizing your yin with your yang, make sure you take some quality time with yourself and/or give me a buzz; just like Stevie and Paul’s piano, I’ll help arrange all your internal and external parts in a way that you, too, can live with yourself, and others, in perfect harmony.

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on April 5, 2011)

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It used to be that scary movies only came out around Halloween, and there were just a handful at that.  Nowadays they seem to be released throughout the year in waves and are more creepy, disturbing and bloody than ever.

Besides the usual monster mashes and alien invasions, there are the stories that prey on our defenselessness to natural disasters, biological vulnerabilities and other such forces beyond our control. Then there are the films and shows that simply glamorize and cool-ify violence and revenge as well as people who are clearly negative, like serial killers, drug dealers, vampires, ghosts and witches to name a few.  That last group scares me the most, as they are slowly but surely desensitizing us to characters with qualities we should not want to be chummy or fall in love with.  But I digress…

When it comes to our ‘real’ lives, there are all sorts of metaphoric and literal things that go bump in the night, but the biggest one – and root cause of all the others – is the fear of the unknown. Whether wondering what that noise in the basement is; what havoc a major hurricane, earthquake or terrorist attack will wreak; to being unsure of where your next meal, paycheck or retirement income will come from; or what happens when you have to speak in front of a crowd or after you take your last breath….all the possibilities that can run rampant in your head boils down to one outcome: not knowing what the outcome is.

Most humans, especially Americans, and particularly New Yorkers, like to control everything. And because we are constantly active and living in this 21st century distraction-filled, overstimulated world, the paradox and irony of the antidote to the fear of the unknown is, for many, the biggest fear of all: knowing ourselves.

The best way to deal with any fear and anxiety (no, not grabbing a Xanax) is to be in the present and confront what is right now, not what was or what could be. And to be in the present, you have to be with yourself.

By being in touch and comfortable with who you are and what you know and are capable of, you can take control of your life in a healthy way and come to trust in the process of a Universe that is always conspiring for your good. At the same time you must be vigilant and discerning as to what might be posing an actual threat or leading you astray.The goal is to balance that faith and trust with information, knowledge and understanding by being practical, realistic and prepared without becoming or succumbing to an alarmist, getting caught up in others’ fears or letting your imagination run wild –because it’s almost never as bad as we think it will be.

There is a school of thought that says the opposite of love is fear, which makes sense since the way to overcome fear is with courage, a word whose Latin root means ‘heart’, the muscle we use to express – you got it: love. So whatever it is you are currently afraid of, Put a Little Love in Your Heart, and notice the fear starts to melt away.

Feeling like the Lion in the Land of Oz?  Give me a buzz and I’ll show you what fears are real and imagined, and help you develop the courage to move forward on your own personal yellow brick road. I promise you’ll be stronger, braver and wiser for having made the leap of faith to a new normal where you will wonder, What was I so afraid of in the first place?    

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on August 30, 2011)

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As a career/life coach I have a unique vantage point to observe all types of people and notice certain trends and patterns that emerge. In addition to my clients, there is my circle of friends and family as well as my own personal experience, since I too am not immune to it all!

Lately the theme has been that of warrior being challenged in at least one aspect of life, confronting unpleasant people or situations, dealing with loss, or relentlessly fighting a seemingly uphill battle at every turn. If you’ve been feeling tested (or testy) in the areas of relationships (all kinds), work (too much or not enough of it), finances (‘nough said), or having a health or identity crisis – essentially, the stuff of life – raise your hand and know that you are not the only one that’s been beaten up these past couple months.

As difficult as it may be, the key is to acknowledge and recognize through all the discomfort/frustration/stress where growth has occurred, understanding has transpired, and wisdom will eventually come. Don’t spend too much time figuring out why things have been going the way they are – instead save your energy for ‘what can I do and learn as a result of what I’ve been through and how can I incorporate these new found strengths moving forward’?   

‘Misery loves company’ is a phrase we’ve all heard. It’s not a concept that I would normally promote, but in these times of technological isolation and the era of social media’s “Look at my fabulous life” updates and photos, there is comfort in knowing we’re not the only one struggling and that it’s okay to share the truth of how we’re really doing.

The trick is not to have a pity party but to find community and provide mutual support; to take a collective heavy sigh and deep breath and have a good laugh about it knowing that we’re all in a similar boat and do what we can to make things better.  At end of the day, we are human and can offer one another a hug and a smile to get us through the hard times, which are always temporary.

But if you want to dig a little deeper and sort out the who, what, why, when, where and how of what’s been going on, give me a buzz and I’ll help you see the lesson in the lickin’ and the light at the end of the tunnel.

(P.S. My group coaching sessions are a great way to connect and share with others – join us this Thursday 10/16 at 3pm for the next meeting.  Click here for more info.)

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on January 14, 2010)

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 If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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Tell me what’s wrong with having a little faith in what you’re feelin’ in your heart.  – The Dixie Chicks (via Patty Griffin)

I try not to think as much as possible. This serves me well for many reasons. First of all, I am somewhat dyslexic, so the more I stay out of my head, the clearer things are for me. And forget about speaking; whenever I do my seminars what I say has to come from my heart and gut otherwise I would get super-confused and choke from stage fright and the fear of sounding stupid. I  have learned to operate this way more and more; it reduces stress by keeping me connected to myself and in the flow of life, in harmony with who I am and what I need or want at any given moment. It is the best motivational, decision-making and communications tool I possess, because I have harnessed and developed it as such.

In the movie Jerry Maguire, Tom Cruise confronts Cuba Gooding, Jr . about why he hasn’t been offered a ten million dollar contract yet, citing that how he is off the field is how he needed to be on the field. “Right now you play with your head….in your personal life: heart….Play the game Rod, play it from your heart and you know what, I will show you the kwan. That’s the truth, can you handle it?Jerry knew that if Rod did what he loved with love, then, and only then, would he be able to show him the money.

And that doesn’t just hold true in the movies. Steve Tisch, proud co-owner of the NY Giants declared that the key to their big victory this past weekend was that they ” …played with heart, with passion, with love for each other and for the game of football.” Does that negate, replace or even diminish all the hard work, training, strategy, talent and skill necessary to achieve such great heights? No, of course not. But it’s the thing that will make the difference between a good team and a great team, a good life and a great one.

Most of us are taught to live by our heads, logic and ego, not by our hearts and guts. But only when we listen to our hearts and put love into everything are we our most authentic selves, which means living our truth. And when we are living our truth, we can then more easily speak our truth, and stand in our truth. And that is the best way to guarantee peace and prosperity in our lives, no matter what the circumstances.

Million dollar contract, Lombardi Trophy or not, we are all players the Superbowl Game of Life – so are you playing with your head or your heart?  Give me a buzz and I’ll make sure that unlike Tom Cruise’s confrontation with Jack Nicholson , you can indeed handle the truth and start living in alignment with who you are and what you want to make happen both on the field and off!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on February 7, 2012) +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.  ~ Marie Curie

Genius is two percent inspiration, 98 percent perspiration. ~ Thomas Alva Edison

Marie Curie spent four grueling years in her laboratory without any guarantees that her work would not be in vain. As Albert Einstein commented, ” The greatest scientific deed of her life – proving the existence of radioactive elements and isolating them – owes its accomplishment not merely to bold intuition but to a devotion and tenacity in execution under the most extreme hardships imaginable  such as the history of experimental science has not often witnessed.”

As a result of her conviction, patience and fortitude, along with the support of her husband and partner, Pierre Curie, Marie Curie became the first woman to win a Nobel Prize and was the first of only four people to have been bestowed the honor more than once!

It’s important to note that the word laboratory contains the word labor, which means “to work.” The word experiment derives from the same root as the word experience, which is defined as “practical contact with and observation of facts or events.” In this great laboratory called Life, we are most alive and creative when stretching ourselves to make discoveries and determinations, or testing hypotheses of our own or others’ making.  

The only way for evolution and growth to take place is to step out of our comfort zones; to find what works and what doesn’t, whether it be with health, career or relationships; and to find out what sticks and what is more suitable for the literal or metaphoric trash can. We must have a myriad of experiences – good, bad, and everything in between – because they are our best teachers. As I often tell my clients, “You need to get your hands dirty,” to get out there, out of your bubble, out of the theory/fantasy in your head, and interact with life to see what it has in store for you, how it can mold and shape you, what you’re made of, what your likes/dislikes are, and what new vistas it contains, all of which serve to make you ever stronger and wiser.   

This is especially true when at a crossroads, a point of no return; when it seems you’re at the edge of a cliff and the only option is to jump off to get to your next destination. As scary as that feels, the fear of moving forward is far better than the dread of staying where you are or turning back, knowing that failures, both big and small, will always beset you on this new journey in order to learn – like an infant who has to take those first steps, and fall many, many times, before it’s able to walk confidently on its own. Remember that Edison never failed; he just found ten thousand ways that didn’t work!  

Just as the Founding Fathers called the formation of our nation the “greatest social experiment in history,” which continues to have its share of successes and failures, this year why not commit to seeing your life, or at least one aspect of it, as your own experiment, with new actions based on sound information or solid intuition as knowledge is gained. And keep in mind that some of us are more introverted so we need to explore more outwardly, and those of us who are more extroverted need to experiment with being quiet and exploring our internal worlds… 

Need a little help with your own personal or professional life research? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the scientist that collects, analyzes and assesses the data you’ve accumulated so far, as well as take inventory of your inherent traits in order to discover (or rediscover) that which will bring you the most fulfillment and success this year and beyond!

 (Today’s PGG was originally posted on January 10, 2012)

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 If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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