Archives for the month of: March, 2013

I rarely dedicate this space to anyone other than yours truly, but wanted to be sure you knew about the work of Dr. Brene Brown who I discovered over two years ago from a TED talk video that has also been viewed at this point by over 8 million other people.

The first time I watched her I thought – OMG she is able to articulate in 20 minutes, in a style that I can relate to, all that I understand, have experienced and am trying to help others with through my coaching and seminars! I was so impressed I shared the link with all my clients and friends, again, not something I normally do.

Well, here we are a couple years (and another very close to home TED talk) later and she just had a two-part conversation with Oprah on Super Soul Sunday. Oprah said it best when she called Brene an “ah-ha verifier” because she is able to put into words and has the data to back up what the big O has known, observed and intuited all these years, which is exactly the same reaction I had!

If you don’t care to watch the videos, I at least wanted to post an excerpt from her new book Daring Greatly, which I have not read, but the points/chapter titles they discussed on the show sound like I could have written them – and my clients will definitely recognize my methods and philosophy there…

Whether you are a parent or not, I believe this is how we should treat each other since we are all part of the human family, and is the key to happiness and peace on this very broken planet… be sure to scroll down to get the link for the complete version.

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Exerpts from The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto

by Dr. Brene Brown from her book Daring Greatly

Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and lovable. You will learn this from my words and actions–the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself.

I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging, and joy every time you see me practice self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections.

We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first; then with each other.

Click here for the OWN page to read the entire manifesto or here for a free pretty download

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Inspired, stimulated, motivated, curious to do some work based on any of Brene’s themes? Give me a buzz so we can dig in and get you living with your whole heart, filled with meaning, purpose, compassion and connection, and above all love for yourself and for all those around you.

Contact me today to get a $50 discount on an Essential Self Consultation good until 4/30/13! (Regular rate is $395)

P.S. For those who are looking to read a more traditional PGG, check out my posts The Passion of Passover, All that You Can’t Leave Behind, or Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

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In the best-selling book Eat, Pray, Love, Liz Gilbert visits a holy man in Bali who gives her a meditation to ‘smile in every part of your body, even in your liver’. This is a great way to activate the feelings of joy within…even just reading that makes you feel a little lighter and more relaxed doesn’t it?

Well, if that doesn’t do it, then what will? Whatever the thought or image is, make sure you get a daily dose in order to keep yourself young, happy and at peace. Doing so has numerous health benefits and when identified and used properly, is cheaper and better than any diet pill, drug or food out there!

Whether savoring a scoop of gelato, relishing in a job well-done, experiencing a romantic moment, or watching an episode of Glee, recognize and cherish those moments you feel joyful. Try to sustain and bathe in the sensation for as long as you can and be able to recall it when you need it the most.

I recently attended a friend’s musical that had me smiling from ear to ear, and from my heart, gut and, yes, even my liver for an hour and a half. If he had not followed his calling to create, I would not have enjoyed the positive mental, physical and emotional benefits that came along with it.

Everyone has the capacity to bring joy to the world, or at least to someone else. If you don’t believe me or are not quite sure how, gimme a buzz -because my work gives me such joy, it would be my pleasure, literally, to help you figure it out!

(This week’s PGG was originally posted on May 4, 2010)

In that famous scene from the movie about Joan Crawford, the renowned actress declares in a rage to her daughter Christina that she use “No wire hangers – ever!”

Hopefully you did not grow up with that kind of extreme abusive relationship, but it is not so far-fetched to think that as an adult you might be treating yourself like Cinderella’s evil stepmother on steroids from time to time, subtly, overtly or subconsciously beating yourself up about the most trivial or significant things. Until we recognize and do something about it, we are often our own harshest critics when we need to be our most compassionate caregivers.

Do you speak nicely and are kind to yourself, especially in that tape that runs in your head? Do you take care of your body by eating healthy when you’re hungry, dressing appropriately for the weather, getting enough sleep, nursing yourself when sick, exercising, resting and PLAYing on a regular basis? Do you allow yourself to express, like a young child does, any emotion you are feeling – anger, sadness, frustration, joy, laughter in an appropriate and timely manner? (meaning don’t walk around emotionally constipated!) And especially if you are a mother of young children, responsible for an aging parent, a teacher, healing professional or other type of ‘official’ caregiver role, are you taking care of yourself as much as you take care of others?

Or perhaps on some level you operate like a neglected ‘orphan’, walking around searching outside yourself, doing anything for that feeling of warmth and nurturing (or a continuation of it if you did have it as a child). The bottom line is that we can’t rely on anyone to provide this for us – neither a spouse, partner, boyfriend/girlfriends, nor parents; as mature adults (which has nothing to do with age) we should strive to be emotionally, physically, financially, and intellectually self-sufficient, and most importantly, loving towards ourselves.

Whether or not you had a positive experience with whoever raised you, learn to nurture yourself as if you were your own precious child. When we can become ‘mothers’ to ourselves it is a lot easier to give and receive love and compassion with those closest to us and even with strangers. It doesn’t matter if you are ill, out of work, frustrated with a relationship or the state of the world – if we each commit to healing ourselves and take responsibility for our own well-being, we will begin to see positive change in big and small ways around us.

And to all the men out there, gender doesn’t matter – we each have a gentle feminine nature within us that we can call upon and develop, just like we also have a macho warrior spirit!

So tonight when you go to bed, tuck in that little girl or boy within you, maybe drink some tea, read a story and tell yourself you are sublimely cherished and grateful for all that you are, because like Lenny Kravitz’s Mama said, your life is a gift and love’s all that matters.

For related thoughts on this topic check out: (Wo)Man Up, One is the Magic Number, Discipline is Not a Dirty Word, The Pleasure Principle

As we watch with heartbreak and compassion the devastating aftermath of the earthquake in Japan*, it’s a good time to reflect on (or react to) where that tectonic plate is in your life that needs to be released of its tension? Where do you need to prevent a tsunami or nuclear fallout from occurring (or recover from one that just did)?

We all have areas of life that we tend to neglect more than others and allow things to build up over time. Like Mother Nature’s need to release her pent up pressure through a variety of earth and weather based events, our unbalanced energy has to go somewhere – and when not addressed it gets buried within us as fat or addictions, crushing debt, unhelathy relationships, dead-end jobs, physical or mental illness, or a general malaise, until one day the walls come a tumblin’ down – because if you don’t take care of it, the Universe eventually will.

As the saying goes, we often need to have a breakdown before we can have a breakthrough – it’s just life showing you where change is required. What emotions have been repressed that need to be released with a good cry or a sweaty workout? Is your mind about to crack (hopefully not like Charlie Sheen, which on the surface appears entertaining but is no joking matter); is a relationship or career or job search or your finances beyond repair or in need of a big ole tune-up; is your body giving you a hard time?

Change is one thing that is certain in life, and it is most definitely in the air at the moment. Embracing it and going with the flow makes dealing with change easier and less stressful, so heed the wisdom fro a certain 70’s hit TV series , when Peter was going through puberty and the Brady kids sang very groovily I might add, ‘…when it’s time to change, then it’s time to change – don’t fight the tide, come along for the ride.’ It means that ‘…you’ve got to re-arrange who you are into what you’re gonna be.’ (Try getting that song out of your head now…sha na na na na).

Change is always good if we respond to it in the right way: by accepting our state of affairs, our responsibility in its creation, and facing the fears about what actions are necessary to confront it – all the while knowing that we will be better, stronger, and wiser for having done so.  And, we need to deal with the reality of the situation as it is, not as we would like it to be. 

Not sure where the seismic activity or cresting river is in your life? You can always use the force like Luke Skywalker or Jamiroquai, or give me a buzz and I’ll read the warning signs and provide rescue, relief and/or recovery to help you avoid a full-on meltdown and instead enjoy the ride!

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on March 15, 2011)

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