Hello

I love myself

We are so happy to be alive

I love my life

Our lives are great

We love ourselves

We love being alive

“I Love My Life” ~ Song & lyrics by Zachary Miles Lefkowitz, age four and a half, September, 2013

When at a wake recently with my 14-year-old nephew, I recalled to him the time he was about to turn four and I asked if he was excited about his upcoming birthday. He began to cry hysterically saying he didn’t want to have any birthdays. This was because he spent a lot of time around my ailing grandmother who had just passed away in her 80’s and he made the very astute observation that getting older means you are one step closer to dying.

I asked now what it was about death that bothered him most. He did not hesitate for even a second and simply, and very seriously, said “Because you won’t have the exhilarating feeling of being alive.”

I thought this was a profound answer as folks around us were suffering with the loss of our loved one; Jake homed right in on the crux of the matter: We are alive, and we should experience and treasure every moment that aliveness brings us.

Over the weekend I had my first massage in over two years, and it really brought home to me these conversations in the most basic and visceral of ways. Being alive means we are here, in a very physical body in a very physical world. Our body is our vehicle to experience all that life has to offer, so we need to love, appreciate, and take care of it — and, we are also here with other human beings we are meant to love, appreciate, and take care of in a physical way.

Most of us tend to live in our heads and are quite disconnected from our bodies and/or emotions. Getting a massage — whether by a therapist or having a friend or family member give you a little hands-on tender loving care — affirms our beingness, our aliveness, and our connection to and need for one another. Numerous studies have documented the necessity of touch, especially for newborns and the elderly; it is literally what keeps them alive and determines their health and longevity.

Diana Ross famously sang, “Reach out and touch somebody’s hand / Make this world a better place, if you can.” If you’re lucky, you have close relationships where you can exchange physical, affectionate touch on a regular basis. If not, there are lots of alternatives like hugs and various forms of bodywork you can receive from others in appropriate ways and settings.

And sometimes the most special touch can come from a stranger , like from the tourist in Bryant Park over the summer who, while having her photo taken nearby sensed/saw me distraught and crying (even though I thought I was incognito with my sunglasses, hair covering my face and downward glance!), and in one of the most generous, kind moments I have ever experienced, gently put her reassuring, healing hand on my shoulder for a few seconds as she walked by, saying with that one gesture, “I see you, I feel your pain; I don’t know you, speak your language or know why you are upset, but I am here to offer you what comfort I can as a fellow human being.”

So as we go further down this technological highway with its isolating side effects and embark upon the holiday season with the increasing commercial madness it brings, remember the basics: you are here, we are here, let’s love our lives and love one another, and demonstrate that love and compassion in the most tangible and meaningful ways possible.

Not quite sure how? Give me a buzz, because like Robin Thicke reminds us: I got it. You got it. We got the magic touch.

(Today’s PGG was orginally published on December 3, 2013)

Click here for PGG newsletterwith introductory note to this essay

It’s vitally important for us to check our bias/the lens through which we are viewing and processing the current situation.

We have been conditioned for a while now to look at things as black or white/ good or bad/ red or blue / us or them.

We’ve also been told to trust scientists and data at face value as if they were god/ gods/ panacea/an absolute to be heeded and worshiped.

In politics or on Madison Avenue — where data/polls/ads in mainstream media are used to influence us — graphs, numbers and presentations can be manipulated and framed to create any story they want. That’s their tool to drive behavior.

And that’s why with every “scientific study,” you need to see who is FUNDING it and what is the outcome they are trying to push or prove. What is the narrative they want to focus on, for what gain and for whom? Who is financially supporting the experts, institutions and media outlets and what is their agenda (i.e., just like politicians)?

Don’t get lost in the spin from either side — whether it looks like obvious spin, facts or fake news. Stay neutral and open so we can be more clear-minded and united.

We are living in a world of bank robbers, drug dealers, gang turf wars, rogue actors, impostors and mercenaries fighting battles with each other, with us as collateral damage and commodities to be gained or lost. That is the underlying plot of this movie we’re experiencing right now.

I am so very grateful for the truly good, sincere people doing their best to fight for all of us. And I’m beyond thankful for all the people who are left to deal with the horrific mess and results of the main protagonists of this script’s actions and plans.

I am deeply concerned about the collective trauma being experienced by our society but likely won’t even be recognized for months and years to come, especially from those on the front lines. I am beyond sad about those who are dying alone and without a proper send-off to the other side, and for all those who are affected by such a loss.

People want definitive answers — yesterday. We want a pill or an app to fix everything for us. We want a villain and a hero. And we want a savior. This, I think, is one of the most dangerous places to be as a society, because that kind of thinking keeps us dis-empowered and divided. It usurps our own agency and ability to think and act for ourselves in an insightful way and to see the whole picture.

Therefore, the most important thing we can do right now is work on building ourselves up INTERNALLY in body, mind and spirit so that we can make educated, unbiased, intuitive, discerning decisions for ourselves that come from a place of STRENGTH, not FEAR. And not from being spoon-fed what we are being told in each of our “bubbles.”

We need to sharpen our critical faculties and find the inner authority to navigate this situation and look at all aspects through a wider, nonpartisan lens. And a holistic one. (I.e., why aren’t the media or governments talking about ways to boost your immunity??)

In other words, most of the time things are gray and complex; sometimes the supposed villains are the heroes, and those we put on pedestals are the ones causing the problems. Sometimes people can be both at the same time. Sometimes up is down and down is up. Sometimes things are not at all what we think they are. And sometimes, things we never assumed or imagined to be connected indeed are.

So I encourage you to keep an open mind and not let your vitriol for “the other side” color your assessment of what’s happening and the solutions being put forth. That is the only way we are going to get through this crisis with the least amount of damage and loss, not just of life and income, but of our rights, integrity and sanity.

We must each take responsibility for a more balanced and sober approach to understanding and getting to the truth of all this as much as possible. We can then do what is right for ourselves — which will not be one size fits all — from a place that is not based in fear or believing what is told to us unquestioningly, nor policed by each other or peer pressure.

We are living in the Wild West right now and need as many underdogs and nobodies to step into their power and embrace their gifts to the world — we ALL have something to contribute, even if it’s just our own conscious, healed life. This is just the beginning. There are more of us than there are of them. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

I’ve been focused on spreading positivity and helping folks get through this time from a personal-growth perspective. Part of that is about helping us stay aware and be empowered to think for ourselves and make the best of this situation with the least amount of suffering, and without losing our innate humanity — both toward ourselves and others — or our essential freedoms. That will take effort and focus. Please don’t forget that and do your part, in addition to washing hands and wearing masks.

By having the courage to evolve or change our mindset and perspective and have more respect for ourselves and each other, we will be better off in every way, in every area of our life, in our country and the world at large.

*Click here for PGG newsletter with introductory note to this essay

New Testament or Old, Facebook fan of Moses or Jesus, you don’t have to be a religious person to extract some nuggets of truth from any of them.

As someone who founded an organization with the tagline “Recognizing Our Unity; Celebrating Our Diversity,” I’m always trying to see the things we share in common that are in places we often think are so different, especially if you look at it through the right lens with the right attitude.

This time of year we are reminded of some good ‘ole fashioned foundations of personal growth — trust (in oneself, others and in something bigger than oneself), faith, perseverance, forgiveness, liberation, rebirth. Without their official branding, the Ten Commandments and Golden Rule can offer you some guidelines for a happy and fulfilling life, if you just think of them as good advice from a friend or coach. Or even a TV commercial.

Be open to wisdom and inspiration no matter what form they take, and like wearing those 3-D glasses at the movie theater, learn to view things from many perspectives.

This is one of my personal specialties; I can look at the same thing that you do and see something completely different, turn it upside down, or see how it might be more or less significant than you think it is. I can connect all the dots between things that might seem totally unrelated and help you understand whatever epic journey you’re on.

Not sure how to get started? Give me buzz and I’ll put the Spring back your step, help you cross your Red Sea, own or reclaim your personal passions, and feel refreshed and ready to take on the world in a wholy-er way!

In 1981, the advent of something called Music Television (yes kids, that was MTV in the olden days) meant that Video Killed the Radio Star. Although the sentiment initially applied to the music industry, it has evolved to include our 24/7, multi-device-always-on entertainment/info news cycle, and delivery of much nonsense and nuttiness through a gazillion distribution channels both online and off. The combination of media and technology is a powerful force that can either enhance or erode our humanity, but with the direction we’re going in, it seems like video has killed our sanity.

In a way, we’ve always been our own little radio towers with what we think and feel, but now we are literally transmitting these thoughts and feelings in a more tangible way with our gadgets and gizmos. What are you receiving and what are you broadcasting? How is it impacting your state of mind and mood?

What do you tune in to on a daily basis? Which intoxicating sights, sounds and stories infiltrate your being: cat videos, pundits, housewives, serial murders, frenemies? I admit I enjoy a little Mickey D’s now and then, but like Morgan Spurlock, remember what happens to you when you ingest that all day, every day. If we are what we eat (and we are), then we are what we read, watch and listen to as well. In the smorgasbord of programming out there, the pickings are slim when it comes to nutrition. Whether TV or social media, strive for the majority of your consumption to be thoughtful, uplifting, educational and/or informative, and know that good comedy is actually medicine.

(P.S. I hear there are some quality series that exist — but it’s curious we’ve coined the term to “binge-watch” say, Game of Thrones or Breaking Bad. What does that do to your sensory digestive system? What kind of hangover would you have from that? How could you have used your time and energy in a more productive way? When you are cranky the next day, is it due to your emotions or Walter White’s?)

I am not anti-TV/media/technology. I say all things in moderation. The trick is to become conscious and not be spoon-fed whatever the suits and advertisers want us to eat! Try a TV fast and realize you’re not missing all that much. You’ll have time to sleep more, learn to cook or finally begin to meditate. It’s up to us to control our technology and not allow our technology to control us.

So if you’re dragging in the morning, think about what you watched on your screen the night before. If you can’t get any work done or fall asleep, how many hours did you allow yourself to be led astray via random Facebook or Twitter feeds? And what it is that you are creating or contributing with your Wi-Fi and widgets?

In an increasingly desensitized and distracted world, with so many folks feeling stuck, confused and frustrated in their career and life, and with so many searching for purpose and meaning, wanting to enjoy better health and relationships in their lives, we must constantly pull out the weeds of static in and around our thoughts and emotions in order to operate at a higher frequency and create the best environment for ourselves and others.

Much of what is on television and the Internet these days is white noise, so protect yourself with some radio silence. Not quite sure how to detach from the media madness? Give me a buzz — I’ll help you march to the beat of your own drum in harmony with the independent soundtrack of your soul and keep away the Karma Police, who are there to remind you that you always have a choice.

Click here for PGG newsletter with introductory note that explains this choice

(Today’s PGG was originally published on January 8, 2015)