As a career/life coach I have a unique vantage point to observe all types of people and notice certain trends and patterns that emerge. In addition to my clients, there is my circle of friends and family as well as my own personal experience, since I too am not immune to it all!
Lately the theme has been that of warrior being challenged in one or more areas of life, confronting unpleasant people or situations, dealing with loss, or relentlessly fighting a seemingly uphill battle at every turn. If you’ve been feeling tested (or testy) in the areas of relationships (all kinds), work (too much or not enough of it), finances (‘nough said), or having a health or identity crisis — essentially, the stuff of life — raise your hand and know that you are not the only one that’s been beaten up these past couple months.
As difficult as it may be, the key is to acknowledge and recognize through all the discomfort/frustration/stress where growth has occurred, understanding has transpired, and wisdom will eventually come. Don’t spend too much time figuring out why things have been going the way they have — instead, save your energy for what can I do and learn as a result of what I’ve been through and how can I incorporate these newfound strengths moving forward?
“Misery loves company” is a phrase we’ve all heard. It’s not a concept that I would normally promote, but in these times of technological isolation and social media’s “look at my fabulous life” updates and photos, there is comfort in knowing we’re not the only one struggling and it’s OK to share the truth of how we’re really doing.
The trick is not to have a pity party but to find community and provide mutual support; to take a collective heavy sigh and deep breath and have a good laugh about it, knowing that we’re all in a similar boat, and do what we can to make things better. At end of the day we are all human, and can offer one another a hug and a smile to get us through the hard times, which are always temporary.
If you want to dig a little deeper and sort out the who, what, why, when, where and how of what’s been going on, give me a buzz and I’ll help you see the lesson in the lickin’ and the light at the end of the tunnel.
Today’s PGG was originally posted on Decmber 14, 2010
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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.
We’ve been through, and continue to go through, so much turmoil and loss these days, it seems to be the norm as we move from one tragedy and outrage to the next.
Just like a kid going through puberty, America seems to be having a growth spurt. It’s as if we are in junior high all over again, with the requisite bullying, name-calling, ugliness, awkwardness, manipulative reasoning, unnecessary emotional and physical cruelty, faulty judgment and disturbing sensationalism that come along with adolescent behavior, only to be magnified, rewarded and abused by the Internet, social media and reality television (which includes our news broadcasts).
Because of the experiment that our country is, we have always needed extraordinary people to rise above the fray, to serve as a moral voices and bearers of Light, Love, Peace, Justice and Reason — to make sure our hormones and lower selves don’t rule the day, that neither mob mentality nor corruption of power nor relentless greed takes hold in a way we will eternally regret; to steward our democracy and remind and inspire us through their words and deeds that our “better angels” must prevail.
The passing of Elie Wiesel, one of the most influential standard bearers of our time, significantly and symbolically, just before our Independence Day celebration, was not lost on me, however it did seem to get lost in the shuffle of hysteria and hyperbole that we unfortunately have also come to know as the norm in our mainstream media and discourse.
No one was talking about or honoring this great man on television with any sort of coverage like we saw with two other great souls we lost recently, Prince and Muhammad Ali. Instead, all I saw was nonstop regurgitating and fanning the flames of the mudslinging and nastiness between the two presumptive presidential candidates, and the other incessant topic of terrorism, with the headline in big bold letters, Why They Hate Us.
It made my stomach sick that such an opportunity to focus on what Elie Wiesel’s message was and what his life represented was not used, consciously or not, as a balm, an antidote to all the negativity being spewed. And it made me sad to think that yet another giant of goodness and voice of decency has left the planet, because who is coming up behind them?
We cannot underestimate the impact these three humans had on our modern times and how their absence creates a void, a vacuum that needs to be filled with comparable or better gifts than they bestowed on us:
Prince, a musical genius, whose example of profound and prolific creativity encouraged us to get our sexy on and not deny those natural, healthy urges, because when repressed too long and too far down, they can mutate into rape culture and generalized violence. He wanted us to make love not war with each other and was a behind-the-scenes crusader for social justice.
Muhammad Ali, a tower of strength, boldness and courage, who taught us self-worth and discipline and being your own moral authority, doing what’s right when necessary, even if it goes against popular opinion, personal gain and an unjust system. He taught us that standing up for justice and equality, and fiercely defending the concepts of religious and racial tolerance and love for all people everywhere is the greatest fight of all.
Elie Wiesel, who understood pain and horror on an unimaginable scale firsthand, served as a witness to and reminder of the worst we are capable of doing to each other. Yet he turned his experience into one of insisting that we bring out the best in each other, emphasizing the importance and value of friendship and brotherhood, that we should never be silent in the face of injustice anywhere to anyone, and that the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.
On the outside, these humanitarians couldn’t be more different: Just think of the contrast between Muhammad Ali, physically big, strong and conventionally attractive, who was outspoken and sought the media spotlight and challenged authority, and Prince, a wisp of a thing probably no wider than one of Ali’s legs, extremely soft-spoken and media shy, almost to the point of being a recluse. (Interestingly, Ali often made himself “smaller” while in the boxing ring to tire or outwit his opponent, whereas Price exploded into something much larger than life on stage.) Then, of course, there is Wiesel, known more as an older man, who because of his minority status as a European Jew during WWII was literally fated to be extinguished but instead became a beacon of light to humanity, especially to those who are persecuted anywhere. Yet they shared so much in common.
We can also talk about the price of not heeding, or instead expressing the inversion of, their ideals and principles, like the Orlando massacre, the Brexit vote and the terrorist attack in Istanbul. In their most simplistic terms, you could deduce that the Orlando massacre was caused by the repressed sexual feelings of the shooter (un-Prince), the Brexit vote was about not accepting the “other” and challenging authority to mandate that view (un-Muhammad Ali), and the terrorist attack in Istanbul used religion to justify the annihilation of another (un-Elie Wiesel).
With the departure of each of these great souls (Nelson Mandela, Grace Lee Boggs, Maya Angelou to name a few others we’ve lost over the past few years), it feels more ominous. I keep wondering who is going to take their places, because no one could fill their shoes. Who will demonstrate wisdom and profiles in courage, who will be the new voices? It was encouraging that Jesse Williams seems to be walking that path with his activism and incisive, passionate speech on BET about institutional racism; there is Rebecca Solnit or Tim DeChristopher fighting for climate change and protesting the destruction of the environment … but where is their airplay, as most of you have probably never heard of them. If Elie Wiesel couldn’t get it, why would they?
More importantly, though: What is your voice putting out there? What is the message of your life? What example, inspiration, motivation are you being to others?
It is no coincidence that Hamiltonis the phenomenon that it is right now. There is a certain magic and Universal order to these events; yes, you can say the talented performers, and of course concept and writing are to “blame” — but why now? Why was this born at this particular moment in time and not five years ago or five years from now?
I also find it interesting that some our biggest and most socially aware and/or politically active, and aging musicians are on tour this summer, perhaps for their last, like Paul Simon, Peter Gabriel and Sting, Van Morrison, and Dolly Parton; artists who have been around for decades with socially conscious messages, bridging cultures and creating thoughtful lyrics and positive vibes, thankfully playing to thousands of people to help counteract the opposite that abounds. And it seems the only movies out there are superheroes or supernatural demons. Again, I don’t think any of this is a coincidence.
I bring all of this to your attention because it seems that everyone has been experiencing their own personal crises and can barely get their heads above water. And when they do come up for air, the world seems to be falling apart and things are just too overwhelming to try to comprehend or relate to, and/or they feel powerless to do anything about them. But it’s so important that we find a way to connect our own lives and those of our neighbors both next door and around the globe, and take whatever actions we can to make it better, lest we wake up one day and find a world that we simply do not recognize or feel a part of, or at worst a world we are oppressed by or fearful of.
So instead of being swept up in the events of the day, week or month, find a balance between being aware and caring, and do whatever little bit you can to bring love, compassion, tolerance, peace into the world in your own way. Choose to show kindness to a stranger or family member; make art; put out a positive post on your social media; allow yourself to relax and breathe; express love to someone you are not feeling so loving toward; try to understand and even stand up for someone instead of dismiss or shout at them, especially if they have a different skin color, religion or political view.
Unconscious times call for as many people to become as conscious as possible, and to make an effort. Look at your own internal structures and see what can be healed or repaired, where bridges can be built in your own sphere of influence, in your family, community, even workplace. Be courageous like Muhammad Ali, and take a stand for peace and justice. Be creative like Prince and make art and love. Be compassionate like Elie Wiesel and do not give in to revenge or hatred of a real or perceived enemy.
Not sure where to start, what needs to change, or how you can make a difference? Give me a buzz and I’ll help you fly like a butterfly and sting like a bee, while playing 10 instruments and wearing purple, getting you one step closer to being considered for your version of a Nobel Prize!
Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts. Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!
Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!
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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.
In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell studied highly successful people and came up with the theory that applying 10,000 hours of dedicated practice was required to perfect a skill or master a field. He talks about how the Beatles played hundreds of concerts in Germany before they performed on The Ed Sullivan Show, Bill Gates had access to computers years before most, and Tiger Woods was swinging a golf club from the age of 3.
I have also read how Beyoncé was singing and dancing in heels since she was around 10, and heard Meghan Trainor talk about writing something like 2,000 songs before making it big. And what about those Olympic athletes? How many breaststrokes or backflips did Michael Phelps or Simone Biles have to do before winning their gold medals?
Whether the 10,000 Hours rule is accurate or not, it speaks to dedicating yourself to your work, your craft, your art or sport in a serious way over a significant and consistent period of time. With our 24/7 world of distraction and superficiality, it has become increasingly difficult to focus and commit oneself to anything — whether it is a career path, a specific skill or habit you want to develop, a new relationship, or reading an actual book or even full-length article!
In the big picture, however, the most important commitment you can make is to yourself. Knowing, accepting and loving who you are and knowing the cycles of personal growth and TIME it takes to become your very best in order to maximize your potential and prosperity — this is the root of all the other commitments. If you have done that, only then can you think about and be successful in what specifically you want to “practice” as part of the journey.
What can you commit (or have you been committing) 10,000 hours to right now? This can, of course, change as your life grows and evolves.
Over the past few months I’ve been feeling like I’ve hit a turning point in my work with clients and, thinking about this concept, wondering if perhaps I’ve hit my 10,000 hours. Then on Monday, LinkedIn reminded me it was my 9-year (?!) anniversary [NOTE: As of 8/17/21 is 14 years …] as a professional coach. I really didn’t know what I was doing or what I should call myself when I started back then, and I have no formal training or certifications, but hundreds of you have trusted me over these years with the honor of helping you get unstuck and on the right track with your career and life, and in turn that has fulfilled me in mine.
I have always approached my work in a very organic way, and the title that currently seems to fit is holistic career coach. My ability to quickly and accurately assess and advise clients about who they are and what they should be doing with their lives has blossomed more than I could have imagined, yet at the same time, deep down I trusted it would evolve in a way that would best serve those who sought my services.
That, in and of itself, has been an interesting journey for me, and the results are reflected in the feedback I have received. Here is some of the most recent:
The 30 minutes we spent discussing my general career malaise and concern over what to do next were infinitely more helpful than the hours I’ve spent discussing this with other people in my life.
By the end of the conversation, I had an actionable plan, a timeline and confidence to invest in myself that I’ve never had before.
Her questions really got me thinking and she made me aware that some of my goals were not actually out of reach but with hard work could be obtained.
After the session I felt so empowered and revved up, I felt like I was ready to take on the world! — and I still do. Kristina really listened and provided insightful feedback to get my life back or going in a more positive direction that will ultimately make me happier.
My hour with Kristina felt more like a therapy session than a career coaching session, but it turns out that is exactly what I needed!
She’s great at identifying the root cause of a problem (even when you think you might have had the answer to begin with) …I can tell you after about 20 minutes of her asking all the right questions, she wrapped everything up for me in a nice package in the final minutes and BAM I had a breakthrough.
I have a new focus for my career, and I will continue to leverage her knowledge in order to find that perfect job!
I came away feeling empowered, more confident about who I am as a job seeker and more aware of my strengths.
After working with Kristina for over a year and landing my dream job, I can say that I feel joy with every dollar I earn.
She’s not going to tell you what you want to hear, she’s going to tell you what you NEED to hear. A great listener and motivator. Time and money well spent.
And how timely that just this past Friday, right before my anniversary, I received an email out of the blue from someone with whom I did only a half-hour session weeks ago with this simple one-liner message:
Kristina, Thanks for giving me a new look on life.
What could be a better job than that? :)))
A great big THANKS goes out to all of you who have ever worked with me — your trust and faith in my abilities has allowed me to put in my 10,000 hours and I never would have gotten this far or been able to do work that I absolutely love and suits me best without your support. I look forward to working with many more of you over the next 10 years and beyond!
Today’s PGG was originally posted on August 17, 2017
Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts. Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!
Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!
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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.
When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure. ~ Peter Marshall
[S]ometimes life gets to be too much all at the same time, and as another PGG says, Something’s Gotta Give. The good news is that these times are always temporary.
When I was in Tunisia during Ramadan a few years ago, our guide could not eat or drink the entire day while he was educating us about the history and architecture of his country and taking care of all our needs. When I expressed my concern for him working under such conditions, he replied in the calmest, most Zen way, which only a person who is fasting while working 10–12 hours a day in the heat and could say, “There are no problems, only opportunities.”
Between the extreme summer temperatures, the public pressure felt from the debt ceiling and other world problems, the many decisions and twists of fate that have been thrown my way — all while trying to throw a celebration of the last ten years of my life — have been an exercise in self-worth, focus and discipline. Let’s just say a few of my carbon atoms have definitely transformed into diamonds, or at least crystallized!
I’ve chosen a journey that includes many challenging situations, having to prove myself and my tenacity, putting everything I preach into practice, be able to turn on a dime, process things quickly and ask for help. I’ve been getting quite the workout, that’s for sure, and have felt like a ninja warrior most recently, but am so grateful, as I am stronger and better for having gone through it all.
Feeling a little Under Pressure yourself? Give me a buzz and I can show you how to walk through the fire and become a lean, mean, diamond-making machine. We’ll figure out what the heck and why and what the benefit of all that was — knowing everything happens in time and on time to keep you going and growing in the direction to become the mighty oak that you are!
Today’s PGG was originally posted on August 10, 2011
Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts. Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!
Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.
KRISTINA LEONARDI 