Throughout the Halloween season we are bombarded with spooky images and haunted houses to remind us it’s that time of year to face our deepest fears. But the majority of things that frightens us isn’t conjured from external forces. Like the creepiness that comes from being in a house of mirrors, what usually freaks people out the most is seeing themselves multiplied a hundred times!
When in your own personal house of horrors, no matter how many cobwebs and shadows you find, know that we all have darker aspects of our personality, and we’re never confronted with anything we can’t handle, so we should never be afraid. Whether your fears and ugly parts are real or imagined, the key is not to run from them. The only thing to do is to shed light on the source of our anxieties and perceived inadequacies, get to their roots and make adjustments that will bring us closer to the most fulfilled and peaceful versions of ourselves.
And like the end of a scary movie, it comes down to you and only you to fight for your life. There is no magic formula or genie in a bottle, no Calgon or knight in shining armor to take you away. Taking responsibility for your life centers you in who you are and what you want — fantasy and illusion, or simply ignoring things, move you farther away. It’s up to you to create your own happiness and what you want in your life, and ask for help along the way.
So if you need to do a little exorcising of your inner ghouls and goblins, who ya gonna call? Like Ghostbusters or those meddling kids in Scooby-Doo, give me a call and I will expose and expel the real cause of your heebie-jeebies and things that go bump in the night so you can move forward and make the changes you need to be all of who you are in the bright light of day!
Today’s PGG was originally posted on October 26, 2010
Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts. Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!
Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.
One of the things I try to do when speaking to groups in career transition is put back the power in their hands and their hearts. I let you know that you should not accept your fate as victims of a system or think you are subject to the whims of the economy, conventional wisdom, how things appear on the surface, or any external voices — and that where there is a will there is a way.
I want you to find the connection, strength and truth of who you are, how you got to this moment, and then motivate you to make the changes necessary to grow and move forward in a positive direction in your career and life. I ask you to take back control of your job search, trust in the process, and often end in a half-jokingly way with my fist up and the rally cry: Power to the People!
It’s not that I ignore the cold, hard reality of the way the world works these days and how that might impact job prospects or a fulfilling existence, but I do want to wake folks up to the fact that they are not passive participants in life and that you have much more power over and responsibility for your situation than you might realize or want to admit. Which means you can’t blame anyone, and you probably just have to work a little harder or smarter to get the results you want.
We’ve collectively come to a crossroads where this could not be more true; we’ve allowed a variety of entities to take over, bombard and bamboozle our hearts and minds and bodies — whether governments, corporations, the military, Hollywood, or some combination of them all — and take advantage of our numbing tendencies, heads in the sand, electronic distractions or sheer need to survive the daily grind…how much longer can we take it?
With all the recent talk about spying, why not do some internal surveillance to observe and feel what’s going on in your life right now — what kind of tyranny is dictating your thoughts, words and deeds, consciously or subconsciously? Where can you take action, even if only symbolic, to show that you, not your oppressor, is in charge? What is your version of Tahrir, Taksim or Brasilia? What would Edith Windsor, Wendy Davis or Tim DeChristopher do in your situation? What Supreme Court judgments do you need to overturn or restore in your heart? How can you bend the rules in your favor without breaking them or engage in civil disobedience when they are no longer (or never were) valid or have become corrupted? Where do you need more courage in your life? What can you liberate yourself from?
As I always say, personal transformation is the key to social transformation, so if we want a better world we need to start with our own. Use that intelligence gathering to find something, someone, or some idea in your life that is holding you back — keeping in mind that this is often your own ego or limiting beliefs! Perhaps it is simply letting go of the image of who you think you are supposed to be or were told you are, or maybe it’s approaching a health issue, relationship or unemployment with forgiveness and a new point of view that puts you in the driver’s seat. Or maybe the most radical thing you can do is love yourself unconditionally.
Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts. Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!
Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.
I will continue to use my voice, the one I was told is important and matters. ~ Rosario Dawson
I’m not a huge fan of American Idol but have watched it here and there, and the theme I noticed this season has to do with contestants “finding their voice” and being artists who are true to themselves. Now there’s a new kid on the block called The Voice, and the X-Factor coming around the corner as well.
Although on one hand we are attracted to the idea of being plucked from obscurity and thrust into the spotlight, I think our more subconscious obsession with these shows stems from how powerful that little box in our throat really is, because not enough of us use it to its fullest potential.
I have a client who feels she is not heard by her boyfriend, another who is trying to find his voice in his job, another who gets stuck when trying to articulate anything about herself. Shania Twain, who made a living and a fortune living by her voice, lost it after the devastating news of her husband’s betrayal and coming to terms with a traumatic childhood. Nothing is more effective to show us just how essential our voice is to who we are than when it is not there.
I recently had the privilege of meeting one of the most distinctive and profound voices in our society today, Dr.Cornel West, who was being honored, along with Rosario Dawson and former Mayor David Dinkins, at the very aptly named Voices, the annual gala for The Brotherhood Sister Sol, an organization that empowers low-income Black and Latino youths to become agents of social change through education, activism and spoken word. West, a frequent guest on mainstream TV talk shows, always has an intelligent and entertaining discourse with his host and speaks my kinda language about love, courage and shared humanity; he is an extremely unique voice of reason in a sea of media madness.
At the end of the event, the students’ poem said you “can’t sing when your guard is up and your mouth is closed…..The consequences of silence are intolerable.” No matter who you are, without your voice and your Voice, you are lost.
The logo and ads for The Voice show two fingers up in a V; I realized it’s no small coincidence that this is also the sign of peace and victory, as they are all intertwined. Because when you find your Voice and use it, you feel at peace with yourself and can be Victorious in overcoming any obstacle — and that is Vital.
Whether you want to sing like Christina or Shania, speak out like Rosario and Cornel, or are from Madonna’s generation or Gaga’s, it’s up to each of us to use what we’ve got, so give me a buzz and I’ll make you see how wonderful it is that you were Born this Wayand then help you Express Yourself hey hey…
Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts. Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!
Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.
We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves. — Dalai Lama
He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I was recently asked by an attendee at one of my talks, “Are you happy?” It was the first time I had been so directly posed that question, and it took a minute to figure out how I would answer, because for me, happiness is not a state of being; it’s a superficial feeling, a temporary, descriptive way to express a reaction to a gesture, creature comfort or occasion.
I answered by saying I don’t really think about being “happy” but am generally able to navigate life in a way that does not fluster me at my core. In other words, my overall evaluation of my existence does not depend on whichever way the wind is blowing. At this point in my life, I am grounded in and connected to who I am, surfing the unpredictability and chaos of external circumstances as they arise, experiencing joy and pleasure when appropriate, and mitigating the inevitable stress and sorrow with various tools and techniques I have gathered and developed to get me through when times are not so hunky-dory (there are plenty!).
And I am grateful for it all, as I know in the end whatever is happening is for my greater good.
I do work that is immensely fulfilling and have relationships I value tremendously. I am constantly growing and evolving by overcoming challenges big and small, and I allow myself to rest and reflect until another cycle begins. I am human, therefore I strive to understand and accept everything that entails.
I have my own issues and areas of growth and healing that call out to be addressed; I feel my feelings and give them the space, time and respect to inform me of what has to be confronted or released, either internally or externally in a particular situation, and then heed the call to the best of my ability. I pay attention to and take care of my needs. I go with the flow. I recognize and honor the fact that I am a creative being. I love and trust myself.
It was a long answer to what appeared to be a simple question. The next day, upon further reflection, I realized the simple answer: What I was saying was that I am at peace, which is far more profound. Or put another way, having a sense of inner peace = my version of being happy.
With all the emphasis and research in our current culture on “happiness” — an obsession only magnified and distorted by social media — you can be easily fooled into thinking you are somehow deficient in this department. The better question to ask yourself is “Am I at peace?” Happiness is great while it lasts, but that’s the point — it’s transient. Yet with awareness, practice and discipline over time, peace can be permanent.
Peace allows you to be the calm in the center of a storm, and the glow of joy in the midst of abundance.
Peace acknowledges that there are ups and downs and stresses in life, but it never lets you be affected by them in the deepest part of who you are.
Peace means even in times of anxiety or fear, you are just observing surface feelings that wreak havoc on your psyche until you recognize what they are trying to teach you — which is usually an exercise in love and acceptance of yourself and the here and now and/or what you can and cannot control.
Peace is the solid foundation that becomes integrated in every cell of your being and accompanies you with whomever and wherever you are.
As the great Mahatma Gandhi said, “Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.”
I often quote the song, “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.” It may be too hippy-dippy or cliche for you, but it’s true. As I say in my talks, we all have our individual spheres of influence, i.e., “happy wife, happy life.” We all know how it feels to be around someone in a good mood, who’s truly relaxed, maybe just back from a vacation or in love, or one of those rare folks who just embodies a sustained level of chill and contentment. Conversely, when someone is really down, toxic, or generally negative in outlook, we know how that can permeate the entire environment.
Emotional energy and good or bad vibes are contagious— especially to those of us who are highly sensitive. You must realize then that no matter who you are, you have more influence than you think you do. Who do you want to be: someone who brings peace, calm and/or joy wherever you go or in times of crisis, or the Debbie or Dougie Downer, the Negative Nelly or Neil, the one who poisons the atmosphere around you? Here’s where you don’t need a special superpower or fancy costume to be a hero!
Train yourself to be mindful of what you are putting out there or carrying with you; go inward to listen to yourself instead of automatically focusing outward to distraction or detachment. Express gratitude wherever you can in thought, word and deed. Bring your awareness and attention to every moment, to what are you thinking, feeling and sensing about the truth and reality of the situation AS IT IS — not as you are doomsday-ing it to be or wishing it was or regurgitating some imagined past version of a problem — because today’s realization is what creates tomorrow’s solution.
The more you can Be Here Now, the more you can exercise that presence muscle, the deeper the well of peace you can draw upon when you need it most.
Have you been crying lately, Thinkin’ about the world as it is? As I have often said, especially in these tumultuous times, each of us has a responsibility to create “peace in our piece of the pie.” What are you doing to contribute? ’Cause out on the edge of darkness, There rides a Peace Train.
Want to get all aboard but not sure how? Give me a buzz, and I’ll be the conductor who puts you on the right track. We’ll fire up the steam engine and get you smiling on a regular basis, thinking about the good things to come!
Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts. Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!
Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.
“A human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind,” was the conclusion of a Harvard study whose research was conducted using an iPhone app. It is a sentiment that many religions and philosophies have proclaimed for centuries and can best be summed up by the popular phrase “Be here now.”
If researchers had a window into our minds, they’d see that we are almost never fully engaged in what is right in front of us, whether we’re thinking about the past or future, or simply not focused on the task at hand — and that causes unhappiness.
According to Andrew Bernstein’s book The Myth of Stress, it’s not the activity or situation that is the stressor, it’s our mind’s perception and reaction to the situation that causes the stress. By recognizing the reality of a circumstance and truly comprehending why it is happening, you can greatly reduce your adverse response to whatever is taking place.
I am always talking about process and “understanding where you’re at.” Most unpleasant situations you find yourself in are impermanent; by simply accepting that they are temporary, you can greatly increase your sense of inner peace and balance. Because life is constantly in motion you need to learn how to “go with the flow” and knowing that “this too shall pass.”
Remember that if you show up mentally, as well as physically, to that meeting, event or conversation, you’ve already done half the work, and the Universe can meet you halfway to create whatever it is you want or need.
Out of chaos always comes clarity. Need a little help living happily in the unknown and keepin’ it in real time? Give me a buzz; I can be a human app that checks in to show you how to make sense of and make the best out of any situation you find your present self.
Today’s PGG was originally posted on November 16, 2010
Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts. Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!
Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.
KRISTINA LEONARDI 