Special note:  From time to time my PGG ‘s have a slightly more political bent, so bear with me if that’s not your cup of tea. But with all that’s happening in the news recently, I thought I would re-run this one from June 2011 when the coverage was dominated by the sexting scandal of then Congressman Anthony Weiner (whose transgressions seem almost benign compared to what we’re now learning about other prominent men). 

The entire topic of sexual misconduct, harassment and assault are very serious and warrant a national conversation and cultural transformation, therefore the focus should be about how we can reconcile and heal this systemic issue, not just regurgitate salacious details and engage in outright shaming.  We also need to be aware of the timing and balancing of the coverage of such stories and how they are dominating our psyches, while many other things of significance are happening simultaneously. In other words, as the saying goes, “Stay woke.”

P.S. I also found it a bit uncanny that the PGG references our current President, who clearly has issues in this department as well…who knew this is where we would be six and half years after I published it? The truth is indeed stranger than fiction…

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Last week my relative from Argentina couldn’t get here due to the fallout from a major volcanic eruption in Chile which kept flights from leaving Buenos Aires – it was so massive it was affecting air travel as far away as Australia! Iceland recently experienced a volcanic eruption as well, though not quite as disruptive as last year’s. Arizona and Southern Colorado are on fire and not in the ‘cool’ way, massacres and secret wars are happening in the Middle East, the economy is imploding, but you wouldn’t know what’s really going on these days from watching the news.

There is no doubt that sex sells, but at what price to our dignity and destiny as individuals and as a country?  The media blitz about a certain congressman with an unfortunate surname to match his current predicament clouded the media landscape to the point that we could not seem to find out much else – except perhaps the hot air being blown about by a former governor from Alaska, with her accounts of American history and the news of her old emails, or her lunch with a NYC “landmark” with bad hair.

In the famous WWII battle, which was one of the Nazi’s biggest attacks on Allied forces, particularly the Americans, Hitler’s divide and conquer strategy was helped by the weather – actual fog – that settled in for two days, grounding the Allies’ superior air power and the reason why we suffered greatly at the time.

Besides the literal wars currently taking place across the globe, we are experiencing a war over our minds and hearts, about what merits discussion and analysis and what is simply gossip. It’s easy to get sucked into whatever the media is doing to grab our attention, so we must to fight to separate the wheat from the chaff in every area of our lives, redirecting our focus to something more productive and meaningful.

Summer is a perfect time to expand your horizons, to travel and explore. But if you can’t physically make a journey, there is always dance, art, literature, and learning about other people’s realities – not from a “reality” TV show, but through documentaries like those shown at the annual Human Rights Watch Film Festival.

Can’t quite discern what the fog is concealing, the volcanic ash is covering up or those smoke signals are trying to warn you about? Give me a buzz and I’ll help break through distractions that block you from dealing with the important stuff in your life and the world at large. Because it’s only On a Clear Day when we can see what’s really going on in and around us so we can keep on reachin’ for that Higher Ground!

(Today’s PGG was originally published on June 14, 2011)

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This past June 2017  I had someone film parts of my New Attitude Summer School series (see info below), which resulted in this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)”

In this excerpt covering the final ten minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life,  maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.   Enjoy & Stay Tuned for Fall Classes!

Click here to watch video

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over forty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself 

Whenever the fourth Thursday in November rolls around, we are meant to reflect on all the blessings in our lives. Traditionally, that would imply appreciating all that is good or positive, everything that brings us joy and happiness, or that we could not live without.

While that is certainly warranted, why not also be grateful for the funky, not-so-positive, annoying and pain-in-the-you-know- where stuff  – the people, things and situations that challenge us, push our buttons or make us feel uncomfortable.

As the saying goes, “There are no problems, only opportunities.” Our crises and difficulties are chances for us to test our mettle, see what we’re made of, and become stronger and wiser for it. They are occasions for us to make course corrections, adjust, fine-tune and put ourselves back in balance or on track – or perhaps a different, better track.

If life went smoothly all the time, you wouldn’t have to dig deep, really look at ourselves, search within for answers, or find new, creative ways of doing things.  Innovation is problem-solving at its most basic level  (just watch those Dyson commercials), so where would we be without all the problems we’ve had?

Whether you’re unemployed, having a health crisis, or having trouble in your personal or professional relationships, take a step back and see what is the Universe trying to show/teach you. Remember, those carbon atoms wouldn’t become diamonds without extreme high pressure and heat.

So this year, be thankful not only for the bird that you are about to eat (or Tofurky if that is more your style), but for all those “turkeys” in your life – the folks and circumstances that gave you stress and grief but also compelled you to overcome those obstacles and become the person  you are today.

Need a little help seeing how the cr*p in your life is really cool, give me a buzz and we’ll figure out what should be basted and tasted, and what is simply a little fat that needs to be trimmed….

(Today’s PGG was originally published on November 23, 2010)

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Please know that I am deeply grateful for all my clients and readers –  THANK YOU for being here! 

I am truly honored you let me into your lives, and allow me to express myself in such a profound, fulfilling way. I have grown tremendously as a result of our interaction, and continue to do so with every session, class or PGG…. because remember we write what we need to read and teach what we need to learn 😉

With much gratitude and warm wishes for a lovely Thanksgiving holiday,  Kristina

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This past June 2017  I had someone film parts of my New Attitude Summer School series (see info below), which resulted in this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)”

In this excerpt covering the final ten minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life,  maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.   Enjoy & Stay Tuned for Fall Classes!

Click here to watch video

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over forty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself 

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. — Brené Brown

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable. — James A. Garfield

We’ve had many truths exposed these past few weeks with the explosion of #metoo and a multitude of people coming out about the sexual abuse/harassment/assault they have experienced, particularly at the hands of someone who had power or authority over them in some way. Although shocking and beyond unpleasant to admit to as a society, this is a liberating, learning and healing moment and is best not filled with hate and vengeance.

Whether or not you have encountered such situations directly — on either side of the equation — there are ways we can all think about what’s happening and how we can apply it to our lives, because at the root of this issue is the concept of boundaries, which is something everyone deals with on many levels, not just sexual.

As whole, complete adults, one of the most important things we can do for our mental, emotional and physical health is know who we are and where, when or how we may or may not be compromised at the least, or invaded and violated at the worst. We can then find a way to assert or protect ourselves with integrity; doing so is an essential demonstration of self-love and self-care and can have many manifestations, in all aspects of our lives.

The more subtle example is when someone crosses the boundaries of what you have determined to be your needs regarding your time and energy. As I say in every one of my talks and to all of my clients, your time and your energy is your most precious resource — so how are you using it, and/or how might you be letting others abuse or “steal” it from you?

We live in the School of Life and therefore there are tests — stresses and strains to help mold and shape us into who we are; they are the means by which we can uncover what is true for us. To give meaning and definition to our existence we need resistance, we need friction, we need to be challenged from time to time. We can then know ourselves even better and strengthen the core muscle of who we are. We become more integrated and we heal. So yes, others will test our boundaries, but tests are the grit of life and what ultimately inform us about our deepest sense of selves, create our reality and help us to grow and evolve.

When tested, you need to stand up for yourself, but first you need to know who that self is: What defines you? What makes you you? What constitutes your self-preservation? This is where boundaries come in. If someone is not respectful of them or your time and energy you must be OK with walking away, you need to be OK with saying NO and dealing with the consequences. I realize this is easier said than done, especially when other factors like fear, intimidation, blackmail and/or violence are part of the equation, but I am talking about having a baseline of self-worth and self-respect, that when developed can actually act as a preventive measure so that those types of situations will become less likely to occur because of your stronger internal foundation that resonates as a more empowered external, and hence, immune vibration.

Anything you are going through is an opportunity for growth and healing for you and the other parties involved, depending on how each one relates to the process. What are you currently being confronted with? Is there something you need to change or something you need to defend?

This means it’s a time to stretch your muscles and question yourself — take an honest look at your behavior, beliefs and choices. How malleable can you be? Some things are not meant to be malleable if you have worked on them over time. Some things are, in fact, meant to be impermeable.

But this is not about being rigid — it’s about knowing your core values and taking a stand for them when necessary. It’s about not letting anyone question you or convince you otherwise after you’ve already explored/seen/experienced evidence and come to a conclusion, keeping in mind that perhaps there is room for growth, change, adjustment, or another point of view. Take some time to reflect, but if you are clear with yourself and you’ve done conscious work and have experience that proved to be true, then you are just being tested to see if you will unapologetically stand in that truth. This forms the foundation of who you are and cannot be shaken.

From microcosm to macrocosm, it’s important to know what is or isn’t acceptable to YOU — whether in your personal or professional relationships or in relation to the world and culture at large — and not be influenced by who is the loudest, meanest, most patronizing, or anyone trying to make it seem like you are unreasonable or crazy just because you are not going along with crowd.

We are living in extraordinary times, and with social media our lives are now magnified, exaggerated, distorted and accelerated, so it is even more crucial that we know who we are and not be swayed by or swept up in the currents of the day. We have to find the balance between our individuality, relationships and the group mentality; when not to overstep; how to protect; and when to stretch our boundaries. And to understand that some things, like love, compassion and empathy know no boundaries.

Need a little help preparing for any upcoming exams or pop quizzes? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the tutor to provide the drills, exercises and shifts you need to find the strength to handle whatever life throws your way to see what you’re made of!

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This past June 2017  I had someone film parts of my New Attitude Summer School series (see info below), which resulted in this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)”

In this excerpt covering the final ten minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life,  maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.   Enjoy & Stay Tuned for Fall Classes!

Click here to watch video

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over forty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself 

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival . ~ C.S. Lewis

Despite what Simon & Garfunkel once sang, we are neither rocks, nor islands, as many of us (especially those drawn to live in the metropolis that is New York!) might want to be. The irony of course is that the very nature of being human means we are part of a greater whole and must interact with other human beings on many levels. Yet a sense of connection and belonging doesn’t always come from the family, tribe or culture we are born into so we must create that connection authentically, first within ourselves and then with others.

Relationships are one of the most difficult areas for us homo sapiens to navigate, and they are the biggest source of our pleasure as well as our pain.  The past several years we have had an advanced course in them; I for one can say as difficult as it’s been, have learned some new and deeper versions of lessons I know will serve me well in the future, all of which culminated in a super-summer intensive, with this harvest season reaping the wisdom culled from that journey.

Some of those nuggets include: finding the balance between losing ourselves/being co-dependent versus isolating and becoming a monk (or a psychopath); having boundaries and not taking on/feeling responsible for another’s emotional or other type of well-being; nurturing yourself, no one can know exactly what you need but you; seeing people and relationships as they really are, not how you’d like them to be. And regarding those close/intimate relationships that are more difficult or challenging, keep in mind that that person – whether parent, boss, spouse, sibling, lover, friend, child – is just the actor playing a role in a scenario you have created in order to heal and grow.

Lastly, the people you choose to allow into your life – friends/boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/partner- should meet certain criteria. The word ‘friend’ especially has been so diluted and watered down with the use of Facebook and social media you need to be able to separate the wheat from the chaff and discern the Apples and Oranges. 

The foundation of a relationship with anyone deserving of your time and energy must include understanding, appreciation and respect. You should be able to check off at least two of these to be considered a friend, and if you are fortunate to have someone in your life who truly understands, appreciates and respects you, then you are very, very lucky and should treasure and honor that relationship for the special gem that it is.

The bottom line is, You Gotta Have Friends, and making time for friendships and your most important relationships is not a luxury but a necessity. It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to -day busyness of life, but we need to discipline ourselves to create space for connecting with the people who love and accept us, who know and understand us, with whom we share interests and history, and have grown together, not apart.

(Today’s PGG was originally published on October 2, 2012)

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This past June 2017  I had someone film parts of my New Attitude Summer School series (see info below), which resulted in this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)”

In this excerpt covering the final ten minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life,  maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.   Enjoy & Stay Tuned for Fall Classes!

Click here to watch video

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over forty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself 

If you are like me, my clients, family, friends and the rest of the world, you’ve been through some stuff the past six months (well more like the past two years, oh heck, since the Fall of 2008!) that has tested, stretched, stressed and made you confront some not-so-pleasant realities about yourself, your life and the people in it.

This meant lots of changes, whether forced upon you from the outside – i.e., having no choice but to move; getting laid off from your job; dealing with a divorce, breakup, or loss of a loved one – or internally, i.e., you were so sick of yourself or your situation that you had to do something, not the least of which was to change your perspective, or finally accept the reality of how things are, rather than how you imagined or wished them to be.

The more challenges you have and the more you resist, the worse things get. This has been a time of “go with the flow,” so whatever you’ve been through, know that it is exactly what you needed to make you stronger and get you to where you need to be next.

A lot of my work is about teaching you to trust yourself, have faith in the process and possess the patience to let life unfold as it should – even with those bumps in the road and unexpected twists and turns along the way. As long as you are intimate, honest and honoring with and of yourself while consistently being in action (which is sometimes non-action), whether internal or external, have confidence that things will shake out the way they are supposed to, in time and on time, in whatever form the Universe deems is best for you.

It all starts with knowing and owning who you are, where you’re at, what you truly want, and realizing you have the power to be the fullest, deepest expression of yourself if only you make it your responsibility and yours alone.  It means we have to grow up.

One of the tools I gave those ninth-graders last month – which I referred to it as a superpower- was to be grateful whenever things get a little rough. Like those magic words “Open Sesame!,” by simply focusing on something you can be thankful for, all of a sudden the pressure is lifted and a metaphorical door or window opens to let in a cool breeze, provide an answer to that riddle, or reveal a hidden treasure.

So no matter what you’ve been through recently, make sure you see the gift in the gristle, which is GROWTH.  Give it up with a great big letting go of the past, and exhale heartfelt gratitude for whatever life handed to you, having gotten through it, and embrace all the good you’ve gained and have yet to experience as a result.

Need to survey the lay of the land as the dust settles to sort out who’s who and what’s what? Give me a buzz and I’ll help you thank that unexpected messy house guest  who disrupted your home, but in the end left it better off than it was when he got there.

(Today’s PGG was originally published on May 14, 2014)

CLICK HERE FOR UPCOMING CLASSES

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This past June 2017  I had someone film parts of my New Attitude Summer School series (see info below), which resulted in this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)”

In this excerpt covering the final ten minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life,  maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.   Enjoy & Stay Tuned for Fall Classes!

Click here to watch video

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over forty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself