If you’re anything like me, many of my clients, and millions of humans, you are often your own worst enemy and harshest critic. Perhaps you set imaginary limits and keep yourself from experiencing all that life has to offer, holding back for “rational” reasons or because of subconscious thoughts based on irrational fears and silly untruths.

Since I can’t clone myself (yet!?), I, too, sometimes need an outside brain to get a little perspective and see things I can’t quite perceive within myself. And because the majority of my work as a coach is listening, sometimes I, like all humans, just need to talk and be heard.

Therefore, I am ever-grateful for my closest friends and unofficial therapists who support me in various ways and set me straight (whether they know it or not) with additional insights and tools I need to become unblocked, make adjustments and move forward.

Because I spend an extraordinary amount of quality time with myself and practice what I preach/write, one thing I most definitely am is self-aware. So when I get to a point when I gain even more awareness of things I probably should have been aware of in the first place, I can get into a cycle of beating myself up for not being aware enough! As my holistic healer friend Noga Kreiman says,Ah, the problems of being a conscious person!

Along with a new awareness I recently gained came feelings of ickiness, shame, stupidity, and all-around disgust for allowing things not to have clicked for me in a certain way up until this point. This did not feel good, but in a twisted way felt right, because I was punishing myself, which seemed appropriate for the transgression against yours truly. Oh, how the ego loves that!

As I always say, your time and energy are your most precious resources. And punishing yourself or beating yourself up is a waste of those valuable commodities and serves no purpose (except that it can greatly adversely affect your health!) So what do you do?

I normally have a few tools in my toolbox to process such a spell, but thanks to Noga, I was introduced to a new one: Pretend the feeling is like holding a pen in your hand, and just drop it. DONE. GONE. ARRIVEDERCI. Since I have developed quite the strong muscle for being in the present and monitoring my thoughts, I simply needed to transfer this skill to eliminating useless, unproductive, and destructive emotions! And guess what? It works.

So for this week’s PGG, I really just wanted to share that. And for all of you out there who could use a little more awareness yourself, need someone to talk to (with x-ray vision and supersonic hearing) who can offer you some insights and tools or simply need a little help developing your own presence muscle, give me a buzz. I will be there to meet you wherever you are at in da funky club of life!

Today’s PGG was originally posted on August 13, 2013

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

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An oak tree is just a small nut that persevered against the taunts of doubt and fear.~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Giant oak trees… have deep root systems that can extend two-and-one-half times their height. Such trees rarely are blown down regardless of how violent the storms may be. ~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

The Universe works in mysterious ways. I shot this video in August 2018. Exactly nine months later (oh, just the normal gestation period for a human), who knew I’d be standing in the shade of a 500-year-old oak, one of the oldest trees of its kind in our country!

The first half of 2018 was a season of doubt and fear for me in a way that I had not previously experienced. By allowing myself to be patient with the cycle, to process whatever thoughts and emotions I was presented with, and confront my fears, I ultimately became more sure of and secure in myself.

As a result of those growing pains, I now feel (most of the time!) as if I am rooted in the center of the Earth — and grounded in myself and my connection to humanity more than ever. This has given me a renewed inner strength and confidence in who I am and what I do, despite outer circumstances.

I’m always saying “the acorn doesn’t become an oak tree overnight,” but I never really thought about what it takes for that oak tree to continue to grow and withstand the multitude of external forces once it becomes a tree.

Can you imagine what it has required for any living thing to be alive for almost half a millennium? What it has survived and been witness to?

I believe in the soul’s evolution through many lifetimes, so perhaps we don’t live that long biologically, but it can be interesting to think about our lives as part of a broader trajectory and understand the big-picture journey we are on, the lessons we need to learn, and the past experiences we need to heal.

Thank you Angel Oak for being a tangible reminder of it all.

Looking for a little support and fertilizer for your inner acorn? Give me a buzz and I’ll help you find the meaningful mojo to persist and withstand whatever nature brings your way!

Click here for my Instagram post that includes a video of the Angel Oak where you can see it in its full majesty!

Today’s PGG was originally posted on May 31, 2019

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

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Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves. — Dalai Lama

He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I was recently asked by an attendee at one of my talks, “Are you happy?” It was the first time I had been so directly posed that question, and it took a minute to figure out how I would answer, because for me, happiness is not a state of being; it’s a superficial feeling, a temporary, descriptive way to express a reaction to a gesture, creature comfort or occasion.

I answered by saying I don’t really think about being “happy” but am generally able to navigate life in a way that does not fluster me at my core. In other words, my overall evaluation of my existence does not depend on whichever way the wind is blowing. At this point in my life, I am grounded in and connected to who I am, surfing the unpredictability and chaos of external circumstances as they arise, experiencing joy and pleasure when appropriate, and mitigating the inevitable stress and sorrow with various tools and techniques I have gathered and developed to get me through when times are not so hunky-dory (there are plenty!). And I am grateful for it all, as I know in the end whatever is happening is for my greater good.

I do work that is immensely fulfilling and have relationships I value tremendously. I am constantly growing and evolving by overcoming challenges big and small, and I allow myself to rest and reflect until another cycle begins. I am human, therefore I strive to understand and accept everything that entails. I have my own issues and areas of growth and healing that call out to be addressed; I feel my feelings and give them the space, time and respect to inform me of what has to be confronted or released, either internally or externally in a particular situation, and then heed the call to the best of my ability. I pay attention to and take care of my needs. I go with the flow. I recognize and honor the fact that I am a creative being. I love and trust myself.

It was a long answer to what appeared to be a simple question. The next day, upon further reflection, I realized the simple answer: What I was saying was that I am at peace, which is far more profound. Or put another way, having a sense of inner peace = my version of being happy.

With all the emphasis and research in our current culture on “happiness” — an obsession only magnified and distorted by social media — you can be easily fooled into thinking you are somehow deficient in this department. The better question to ask yourself is “Am I at peace?” Happiness is great while it lasts, but that’s the point — it’s transient. Yet with awareness, practice and discipline over time, peace can be permanent.

Peace allows you to be the calm in the center of a storm, and the glow of joy in the midst of abundance.

Peace acknowledges that there are ups and downs and stresses in life, but it never lets you be affected by them in the deepest part of who you are.

Peace means even in times of anxiety or fear, you are just observing surface feelings that wreak havoc on your psyche until you recognize what they are trying to teach you — which is usually an exercise in love and acceptance of yourself and the here and now and/or what you can and cannot control.

Peace is the solid foundation that becomes integrated in every cell of your being and accompanies you with whomever and wherever you are.

As the great Mahatma Gandhi said, “Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.”

I often quote the song, “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.” It may be too hippy-dippy or cliche for you, but it’s true. As I say in my talks, we all have our individual spheres of influence, i.e., “happy wife, happy life.” We all know how it feels to be around someone in a good mood, who’s truly relaxed, maybe just back from a vacation or in love, or one of those rare folks who just embodies a sustained level of chill and contentment. Conversely, when someone is really down, toxic, or generally negative in outlook, we know how that can permeate the entire environment.

Emotional energy and good or bad vibes are contagious — especially to those of us who are highly sensitive. You must realize then that no matter who you are, you have more influence than you think you do. Who do you want to be: someone who brings peace, calm and/or joy wherever you go or in times of crisis, or the Debbie or Dougie Downer, the Negative Nelly or Neil, the one who poisons the atmosphere around you? Here’s where you don’t need a special superpower or fancy costume to be a hero!

Train yourself to be mindful of what you are putting out there or carrying with you; go inward to listen to yourself instead of automatically focusing outward to distraction or detachment. Express gratitude wherever you can in thought, word and deed. Bring your awareness and attention to every moment, to what are you thinking, feeling and sensing about the truth and reality of the situation AS IT IS — not as you are doomsday-ing it to be or wishing it was or regurgitating some imagined past version of a problem — because today’s realization is what creates tomorrow’s solution. The more you can Be Here Now, the more you can exercise that presence muscle, the deeper the well of peace you can draw upon when you need it most.

Have you been crying lately, Thinkin’ about the world as it is? As I have often said, especially in these tumultuous times, each of us has a responsibility to create “peace in our piece of the pie.” What are you doing to contribute? ’Cause out on the edge of darkness, There rides a Peace Train.

Want to get all aboard but not sure how? Give me a buzz, and I’ll be the conductor who puts you on the right track. We’ll fire up the steam engine and get you smiling on a regular basis, thinking about the good things to come!

Today’s PGG was originally posted on February 11,2016

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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Massive quakes, record rainfall, perilous flooding, topsy-turvy temperatures. There is no doubt that Earth — most recently with the west coast fires in the US — is going through something. Whether you think of it as climate change, global warming or that crazy concept Al Gore invented, shifts happen.

If you think of each human as his or her own self-contained world, you could say our North Pole is our mind, with its thinking/rational way of doing things, and our South Pole is the heart and gut, our more intuitive, creative M.O.

We have always looked to the North Star to lead the way, but what about the Southern Sky? There would be no North without the South! One is not more important than the other. And what if the North is a little tired of doing all the heavy lifting, and is starting to pass the baton to the South?

In honor of the Equinox (hence equilibrium!) earlier this week, think of yourself in the process of shifting and changing — be aware, take care, go with the flow and notice what happens. The Earth is crying out for ways to heal, and if you have been living a less than balanced life, so will you.

Feeling a little “top” heavy or ready to erupt? I’m here to help, so think of me like a surrogate Mother Nature with a super-special compass that can reset the magnetic North and South within you!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on April 20, 2010)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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(Today’s PGG was originally posted on September 25, 2012)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

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Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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(Today’s PGG was originally posted on April 4, 2012)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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Perfection is the enemy of good. — Voltaire

Unlike what Fox News, ISIS, PETA or Kanye might have you believe, there are very few absolutes in life, and extremism in thought, word or deed is never the route to go. Like the Buddha says of a string on the sitar, if it’s too tight it will break, too loose and you won’t get any sound from it. Either way, the music dies. Life does not exist in black or white, but in fact is found in the many shades between.

Everyone has ways to escape or numb, whether from current circumstances and the daily grind, or from unresolved pain of the past. And when there is no awareness around the suffering and its source, the turmoil is turned inward as unhealthy behaviors, addiction or abuse, or directed outward as jealousy, hatred or violence in its many forms toward “others.”

In this era of plasticsurgery-photoshopping-selfie-celebrityworshopping-heylookatmyfabulouslife culture, it’s easy to think the grass is always greener, or that everyone but you has their act together or has an easy-breezy life. As someone who works intimately with hundreds of folks for a living, I can tell you that no one has it all together. Everyone has issues. It’s just which issues, in which department (relationships, money, sex, career, family, physical, mental and/or emotional health), and to what extent. And if you didn’t have the issue you have, you would have different one. But you’d have one. Or two, or three, generally all connected. It’s just the way it works.

The question is: How well do you acknowledge, accept, and then begin the process of addressing them?

The idea that there is some level of “perfection” that we can attain in our lives, in our mates, our work, our bodies, our lifestyle, is fiction. It doesn’t exist. No one is perfect. The mere fact that we are human beings means that we exist in order to heal and grow. It means that we are inherently flawed and are expressly alive to learn certain lessons and make whole the various parts of our mind, body and soul that are dis-eased.

When you come to terms with the fact that you are a beautifully imperfect being and become aware of the imperfections, love yourself in spite of them; then with compassion and discipline, set out to improve or change what you can. Then, and only then, are we able to start accepting one another: our family, our neighbors, our enemies, or anyone who is simply different from us in color or creed. Remember that fellow humans might be having a harder time recognizing and dealing with their own problems and pain right now — we all wake up to our humanness at our own pace, sometimes not of our own choosing. This is why we need a steady flow and heaping amounts of patience, empathy and kindness in our world.

Just as the journey is more important than the destination, the striving is more important than the actual perfection. It means we are constantly evolving into the best, most kick-ass, peaceful versions of ourselves, accentuating the positive and mitigating or transmuting the not-so-positive. The daily choices we make, the love that we give and receive, the joy and the sadness and anger and passion we allow ourselves to feel, knowing that it is not going to be the same emotion every day all day. There are sunny days and there are cloudy days, and we appreciate both equally. As we experience our challenges, we know that victory is right around the corner, and in those moments of happiness we know at some point we will again feel sadness or disappointment. It’s just the way it works.

How can we move toward a balanced, healthy life without knowing where we need to focus in order to heal and grow? Use this time the way a med student would study the body, inside and out: Truly see all of who you are and embrace it. Accept it. Love it. Then take a look at those around you and do the same. Then you can make an honest assessment about what needs a little therapy, a little remedy, or perhaps even surgery.

Think you might need someone in Private Practice to make sense of it all? Give me a buzz and I’ll help you avoid a soul-sucking Scandal and prove you most certainly cannot Get Away With Murder, preventing you from killing the dream of a prosperous, fulfilled life you absolutely can and deserve to have!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on February 12, 2015)

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***Click here for my August Anniversary Sale! EXPIRES 8/31 ***

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

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Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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Those of you who have known or worked with me for a while are aware that I have never been comfortable being the center of attention and am an introvert by nature. But I do have something to say, and have been saying stuff in public now for many years!

As I mention in my seminars, Eleanor Roosevelt, one of my heroes, famously encouraged us to do the thing you fear the most. One of those things for me, besides being “on stage” is being in front of the camera. Another thing I talk about is once you figure out who you are, own it. I’m also always saying that we teach what we need to learn (and write what we need to read), and since I do my best to walk my talk and practice what I preach…

This month [February 2014] I had someone videotape my Who Are You and What Are You Supposed to Be Doing with Your Life? seminar at SIBL. They very kindly put together this little excerpt, so for this week’s PGG I thought I would share it here. What can you do today to own who you are?

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on February 4, 2014)

CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG eNEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE for the August 2020 update to this story/post.

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Don’t have time to watch the whole thing? Here is a part where I talk specifically about owning who I am and what I do (45:05), including my experience of being tall (47:50) 🙂

***Click here for my August Anniversary Sale! ***

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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I always have a hard time explaining to folks what I do, even as I enter my [13th!] year of coaching professionally.

Over time I have come up with some language that helps, but last year I happened to catch the end of one of those PBS specials where the speaker, Lissa Rankin, author of Mind Over Medicine, was talking about how a doctor’s communication is critical to the healing of the patient. In fact, the physician can have a placebo effect, and therefore become the medicine itself. That sparked an a-ha moment for me -I realized that I’m not a doctor, but through my writing, speaking and especially coaching, I am medicine, and strong medicine at that!

I like to call myself a “holistic career coach” or “life chiropractor” because an individual’s work is my entree into looking at their entire life. This is because our jobs/careers are generally where we spend the most time and energy, so if that’s “off” many other things like health and relationships will be “off” as well, and vice versa. When I meet with clients, I get in there with my x-ray vision and supersonic hearing and connect the dots, see what is out of wack and give you an adjustment along with tools and resources to put you back in alignment.

“Treatment” could take the form of specific tasks and homework, my prescriptions so to speak, but sometimes it is simply me seeing you in a way that you’ve never looked at yourself before, which gives you new insights about who you are, where you should be going and how best to be using your time and energy. Most folks come away with a different perspective that is profoundly healing and motivates them to move forward in a positive direction, however long a process that might take. Everyone is re-awakened to the person they know themselves to be.

In other words, you get a good dose of special sauce to do the things you need to do that will create purpose, meaning and balance in every area of your life! Often this is a one-time injection and you’re re-calibrated and on your way; other folks are in the midst of a deeper transformation and need more guidance over a period of time. Although there are most certainly phases when we all need outside expertise and support, it is always my goal to empower you to ultimately become your own coach and trusted counsel.

We are humans, and we bring our whole human selves with our entire characteristics, experiences, limitations, talents, stresses and passions to wherever we are, whatever we are doing and whomever we are with. This resonates now more than ever with our 24/7 accessibility, increasingly virtual workplaces and the overall blurring of lines between our personal and professional lives, so we need to learn how to manage, balance and integrate it all!

I’m here to help. Yes, I’m strong medicine, but I always deliver with a spoonful of sugar, so don’t be afraid to contact me whenever you’re ready for a little remedy to what ails you. And, this week I’m sweetening things up even more with this special one-hour session offer so be sure to click here to check it out!

**Click here for Group Coaching info and Special Anniversary Coaching Sale***

**Click here for my upcoming talk Self-Care in the Midst of Sea Change on 8/24 **

(Today’s PGG was originally published on January 8, 2016)

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Whether it makes you think of Catholic school nuns, dog training, or your struggle with diet and exercise, discipline — of the mind and body — is what we are certainly witnessing when we watch the Winter Olympics. Any form of excellence requires it, and these amazing athletes show

I admit that for most of my life, I associated the word with limitation — something negative, bad or oppressive. Over the past several years I have learned that instead, discipline is a positive attitude and approach that can actually be quite liberating.

For example, realizing that I needed to stop working 24/7 and make time for activities that are fun, pleasurable and social is something I am now very conscious about. I even include going to the gym in that category! It has become a discipline of mine that has made my life a lot less stressful and much more enjoyable.

As they say, “One man’s pleasure is another man’s pain” — and I say once you discipline yourself in that area and reap the benefits!

. No matter what goals you are working toward, you are doing something every day to make yourself the best you can be.

But sometimes we can’t do it alone. Like those Olympic athletes, who are able to stay on that razor-edge track with the help of their coaches, think of me as one of them,

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(Today’s PGG was originally published on February 23, 2010)

Click here for PGG newsletter with my introductory note to this essay

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Read over 100 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

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