Archives for posts with tag: life coach

While making a purchase last week, I must have been subconsciously but overtly enjoying Pharrell Williams’ snappy tune which was playing on the store’s sound system. The cashier, a young gal probably not more than 21, asked me “Why do all adults love this song?

Ahhh, youth. First off, I needed to comprehend the fact that I was one of those “adults” she was referring to, which took me a minute because I think I’m 25…She continued, “Yeah, my mom and aunts and all their friends get into it whenever it comes on.”

The uplifting, catchy anthem could not have been released at a better time, after one of the harshest winters on record and accompanying the spring forward of our clocks signaling the imminent arrival of brighter days and warmer weather.

But I think the real gift is its simplicity — its airy, carefree, innocent vibe and powerful lyrics. It cuts through all the heavy stuff we deal with and are responsible for and asks our inner child to dance a little inside and out. Because let’s face it, we all need a break from the warmongering, negative TV shows/movies/video games, political bickering, and multitude of challenges modern life presents us “adults” with on a daily basis — even if it’s for only 3:52 minutes.

A friend of my mom’s who I’ve known over 25 years saw me recently, and with a very perplexed look and completely serious tone asked, “When are you going to start aging?”

I just chuckled. I suppose good genes and moisturizer play a part, but I really attribute it to my frame of mind and lifestyle — I have learned to take care of myself physically and spiritually, and have the tools and discipline to manage my stress (trust me, there is plenty!). I honor and process my emotions, think positive thoughts, and do my best to live in the present and go with the flow, listening to my deepest self and paying attention to the world around me. I operate from my heart (and gut) not my head and value quality over quantity in relationships.

I realize that I am on a journey, and as long as I’m learning and growing and being of service, I am doing something right. I am creative and know how to relax. I’m a practical idealist. I laugh often and cry just as much, if not more. I love. I am committed to being as authentic, balanced and centered as I can be, knowing I’m not “perfect” and that’s OK: I take one day at a time and understand that every problem is an opportunity in disguise, as hard as that might seem to believe in the moment. I am grateful. And lastly, I shake my booty to groovy tunes as much as possible. So yes, I choose to be Happy, because happiness is the truth — and one of the keys to youth.

Need a little help figuring out what happiness is to you? Give me a buzz and I’ll have you clapping along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do. I’ll be there to guide you one step at a time, and make it so can’t nothin’ gonna bring you down! Yeah.

[Fun fact: I had a truly magical interaction with Pharrell (my number one celebrity encounter, and I’ve had a lot) on a NYC sidewalk exactly 6 months after I wrote this PGG and got to give him a HUGE hug and thank him for the joy he inspired all over the world, since it became a global phenomenon that you can see on this playlist on YouTube.]

Today’s PGG was orginally published on March 11, 2014.

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

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Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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Rules are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind. ~Douglas MacArthur

There are no rules here — we’re trying to accomplish something. ~ Thomas Alva Edison

One of my all-time favorite films is Strictly Ballroom for a variety of reasons, one of which is how the main character, a world class ballroom dancer wants to use his own steps in competition and the outrage and, ultimately, delight this causes. I’ve always loved to dance but hated formal exercise. Since I’m not out at the clubs much these days, Zumba and cardio salsa at the gym have filled the gap; but I never was into doing exactly what was presented — I generally stand in the back enjoying the music and sort of go along with the group.

I recently found a new class called Nia, which is perfect for me — it includes sections for “free dance” and encourages you to “dance it your way.” It kind of looks like hippie dancing, or what you might do if you were in your room when no one was watching; it’s a great workout that speaks to my body in a way that makes me feel good.

This time of year especially is filled with many traditions and routines, along with thoughts about the changes we want to make in the New Year. My mom has always made the holidays extra-special with borderline excessive (but not at all tacky) decorations around her home, and this year she just wasn’t feeling it. When I suggested she could put up the tree up with a few accent pieces instead of doing the whole Winter Wonderland/Santa’s Workshop, she thought it was impossible — it had to be all or nothing.

I insisted it could be done and took some of the items she put in the same place every year and used them differently. She fought with me tooth and nail, until I proved they would indeed fit in spots she said they wouldn’t. The house looks festive and the mission was accomplished; it feels like a maximum amount of decor with minimal amount of effort! But it was her resistance to change and incredulity that several options and alternatives existed that were the hardest parts to tackle — she simply couldn’t see any other way than how she’s done it year after year.

Tradition can be a good thing, but it’s important to know when those traditions and routines are serving or restricting us. Sometimes you just gotta break the rules, think out of the box, do it “your way”. Where we would we be without the hundreds and thousands of rule-breakers both known and unknown, in every field — especially the arts, science, fashion and civil rights?

But the truth is that often our most fervent rules and regulations have been totally self-imposed, and/or are no longer necessary. It’s easy to get caught up in doing the same old thing just because that’s the way we’ve always done it. Sometimes we need a fresh eye, another brain, to look at the same situation and come up with a new solution, a new way of doing things that we couldn’t see because you were too close or it was too engrained in our psyche.

Wondering if change will serve you better than reinforcing the “rules” you have in place right now, or which walls need to come Tumblin Down and be replaced with some new Moves Like Jagger? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the law enforcement that looks the other way and the instructor that helps you create the right combination of funky steps you can dance to the beat of your own drum!

Today’s PGG was originally posted on November 29, 2011

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CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG ENEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your mailbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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Read over 100 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

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Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself

Hello

I love myself

I love myself

I love myself

We are so happy to be alive

I love my life

Our lives are great

We love ourselves

We love being alive

“I Love My Life” ~ Song & lyrics by my special friend Zachary Miles Lefkowitz, age four and a half, September, 2013

When at a wake recently with my 14-year-old nephew, I recalled to him the time he was about to turn four and I asked if he was excited about his upcoming birthday. He began to cry hysterically saying he didn’t want to have any birthdays. This was because he spent a lot of time around my ailing grandmother who had just passed away in her 80’s and he made the very astute observation that getting older means you are one step closer to dying.

I asked now what it was about death that bothered him most. He did not hesitate for even a second and simply, and very seriously, said “Because you won’t have the exhilarating feeling of being alive.”

I thought this was a profound answer as folks around us were suffering with the loss of our loved one; Jake homed right in on the crux of the matter: We are alive, and we should experience and treasure every moment that aliveness brings us.

Over the weekend I had my first massage in over two years, and it really brought home to me these conversations in the most basic and visceral of ways. Being alive means we are here, in a very physical body in a very physical world. Our body is our vehicle to experience all that life has to offer, so we need to love, appreciate, and take care of it — and, we are also here with other human beings we are meant to love, appreciate, and take care of in a physical way.

Most of us tend to live in our heads and are quite disconnected from our bodies and/or emotions. Getting a massage — whether by a therapist or having a friend or family member give you a little hands-on tender loving care — affirms our beingness, our aliveness, and our connection to and need for one another. Numerous studies have documented the necessity of touch, especially for newborns and the elderly; it is literally what keeps them alive and determines their health and longevity.

Diana Ross famously sang, “Reach out and touch somebody’s hand / Make this world a better place, if you can.” If you’re lucky, you have close relationships where you can exchange physical, affectionate touch on a regular basis. If not, there are lots of alternatives like hugs and various forms of bodywork you can receive from others in appropriate ways and settings.

And sometimes the most special touch can come from a stranger , like from the tourist in Bryant Park over the summer who, while having her photo taken nearby sensed/saw me distraught and crying (even though I thought I was incognito with my sunglasses, hair covering my face and downward glance!), and in one of the most generous, kind moments I have ever experienced, gently put her reassuring, healing hand on my shoulder for a few seconds as she walked by, saying with that one gesture, “I see you, I feel your pain; I don’t know you, speak your language or know why you are upset, but I am here to offer you what comfort I can as a fellow human being.”

So as we go further down this technological highway with its isolating side effects and embark upon the holiday season with the increasing commercial madness it brings, remember the basics: you are here, we are here, let’s love our lives and love one another, and demonstrate that love and compassion in the most tangible and meaningful ways possible.

Not quite sure how? Give me a buzz, because like Robin Thicke reminds us: I got it. You got it. We got the magic touch.

Today’s PGG was originally posted on December 3, 2013

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CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG ENEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your mailbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Read over 100 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

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Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace. ~ Jimi Hendrix

If you have been receiving PGGs for a while, worked with me individually or come to one of my group sessions, you know that I talk a lot about love. But the love that I talk about is not some airy-fairy, namby-pamby, hippie-dippy notion one that has been misused, watered-down, misunderstood, or simply lost its meaning with lip service.

Real love is the real deal. As Mahatma Gandhi says “Love is the strongest force the world possesses, and yet it is the humblest imaginable.” Fifty years ago we witnessed an era where our civil rights leaders and all those who were part of that struggle dug deep and called upon this force within themselves to withstand the immense opposition and cruelty they experienced on a daily basis in order to transform society as it existed at the time.

More recently we could not have had a more immediate, direct and tangible example of this phenomenon when one single woman, Antoinette Tuff, used it to save the lives of over 800 people, most of them children, from a lone, heavily loaded mentally ill gunman in Decatur, Georgia. If you do not know the story, or haven’t seen this extraordinary woman talk about what happened, you must learn about her. (Google the numerous stories, or watch one of many interviews and listen to the 911 call)

As humans we are all built from the same stuff. Love doesn’t know race, sexual orientation or religion – if you are human you can love. If you are human you respond to love. As Antoinette and Michael Stipe say, Everybody Hurts sometimes. Everyone needs connection and affection. Compassion and empathy are palpable and are the best antidotes to fear and pain.

If you’ve seen me speak, you know I am always mentioning the fact that the root of the word for courage is Latin for ‘heart’. Which means that true bravery is about connecting to that part of yourself, knowing its innate power, and having faith in a force greater and wiser than yourself (or beyond your ego/brain).

So the next time you find yourself in a challenging situation or being attacked in some form, whether it be mental, emotional, or yes, sometimes even physical, instead of using violence to counteract violence, why not call upon the most powerful weapon at your disposal: L.O.V.E.

Need a little help harnessing the heft of your heart? Give me a buzz and I will show you how to give it a good work-out, because at the end of the day love like is a muscle – the more you use it, the stronger it will become – and who knows what miracles will occur in your life or the lives of others because of it!

Today’s PGG was originally posted on August 23, 2013

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CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG ENEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your mailbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Read over 100 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

Facebook
Twitter
Instagram
LinkedIn
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Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself

Happy New Year! Click here for my introductory note about why these are grouped this way along with tips about journaling…. And here you can check out any PGGs you might have missed below, or simply refresh your memory – either way they can set you up for a self-reflective, positive mindset for 2022 🙂

BONUS: These and all other PGGs are searchable on my Medium page which now include an accompanying audio version – so if you’d rather listen then read, we’ve got you covered!

They are all 3- 6 minute reads/listens and are meant to shift your perspective and/or provide some inspiration, hope and motivation to help you along on this journey called life. Enjoy!

New PGGs:

Power Puff

At this massively transformative time in the history of humanity, we must begin to know who we are more deeply, understand and own our intrinsic power, and become familiar with our innate wisdom and what is meaningful, valuable and true for us — especially when so many forces at play would have us do otherwise.

Click here to read or listen to essay in full

Lillies, Loops & Lies

I realized that when this happens, it’s like a switch is turned on that puts me into a very particular loop that keeps going round and round. And because it’s a loop with well-worn grooves, it’s hard to get out of and you feel like it’s reality. But it’s NOT.

Click here to read or listen to essay in full

PGG “Notes from Kristina”*:

*Click on title to read or listen to article on Medium

Responsibility & Reflection

Help bridge the divide in our country by bridging it within yourself

Measure Your Future in Feet

Taking things one day at a time will save you miles

Born at the Right Time

Trust that you will land exactly when and where you are supposed to be

Lost in Space

Prioritizing the pioneering of inner peace versus off-planet populating

Back to School/Back to Ourselves

September is a great time to self-reflect on your grade in this School of Life

Two Hours at a Time

Slow down and tame your tasks with less stress

The Power of Your Voice

Make better use of the gift we all have in order to improve our lives

The Common Denominator

Navigating relationships of all kinds during these challenging times

Fertilizer for the Soul

How accepting death in your life can bring the gift of growth

The Gifts We Give

Acknowledging the value of that which is priceless and timeless.

Additional Essays*:

*Click on title to read or listen to article on Medium

The Women’s Mosaic Turns Twenty

Two decades later, the quest continues to Recognize Our Unity and Celebrate Our Diversity, no matter what form it takes

Twenty Years and One Love

Reflections on that fateful day in NYC, and remembering the unity it inspired

A Matter of Perspective

The uncanny timing of a dictator’s death foreshadows times to come

Astroworld is Our World

A sad and urgent wake-up call for our times

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG ENEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your mailbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Read over 100 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

Facebook
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LinkedIn
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Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself

If you’re anything like me, many of my clients, and millions of humans, you are often your own worst enemy and harshest critic. Perhaps you set imaginary limits and keep yourself from experiencing all that life has to offer, holding back for “rational” reasons or because of subconscious thoughts based on irrational fears and silly untruths.

Since I can’t clone myself (yet!?), I, too, sometimes need an outside brain to get a little perspective and see things I can’t quite perceive within myself. And because the majority of my work as a coach is listening, sometimes I, like all humans, just need to talk and be heard.

Therefore, I am ever-grateful for my closest friends and unofficial therapists who support me in various ways and set me straight (whether they know it or not) with additional insights and tools I need to become unblocked, make adjustments and move forward.

Because I spend an extraordinary amount of quality time with myself and practice what I preach/write, one thing I most definitely am is self-aware. So when I get to a point when I gain even more awareness of things I probably should have been aware of in the first place, I can get into a cycle of beating myself up for not being aware enough! As my holistic healer friend Noga Kreiman says,Ah, the problems of being a conscious person!”

Along with a new awareness I recently gained came feelings of ickiness, shame, stupidity, and all-around disgust for allowing things not to have clicked for me in a certain way up until this point. This did not feel good, but in a twisted way felt right, because I was punishing myself, which seemed appropriate for the transgression against yours truly. Oh, how the ego loves that!

As I always say, your time and energy are your most precious resources. And punishing yourself or beating yourself up is a waste of those valuable commodities and serves no purpose (except that it can greatly adversely affect your health!) So what do you do?

I normally have a few tools in my toolbox to process such a spell, but thanks to Noga, I was introduced to a new one: Pretend the feeling is like holding a pen in your hand, and just drop it. DONE. GONE. ARRIVEDERCI. Since I have developed quite the strong muscle for being in the present and monitoring my thoughts, I simply needed to transfer this skill to eliminating useless, unproductive, and destructive emotions! And guess what? It works.

So for this week’s PGG, I really just wanted to share that. And for all of you out there who could use a little more awareness yourself, need someone to talk to (with x-ray vision and supersonic hearing) who can offer you some insights and tools or simply need a little help developing your own presence muscle, give me a buzz. I’ll be there to meet you wherever you are at in da funky club of life!

Today’s PGG was originally posted on August 13, 2013

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG ENEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your mailbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Read over 100 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

Facebook
Twitter
Instagram
LinkedIn
YouTube

Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. ~ Alan Watts

Just keep in mind: The more we value things outside our control, the less control we have. ~ Epictetus

In June of 2012 my mother had open heart surgery. After the ordeal, the only thing she kept saying she wanted, and her ultimate goal, was to “get back to the way things were before.” But when something that major happens to your physical body — literally cracking open your rib cage to access the main organ that keeps you alive, replacing a valve and rewiring some blood vessels — things cannot, and should not, go back to being the “same.” It’s impossible. First of all, as a lifesaving measure, your body should be functioning much better, which for her, initially it was.

However, because my mother was unwilling to integrate the larger message of healing, she clung too hard to her old ways, with no real lifestyle changes, mental rewiring or emotional processing. Three years later, almost exactly to the day of her operation, she succumbed to a different disease, compounded and/or induced by stress, and is no longer with us on this planet.

I share this as an analogy of where we are right now as a country, society, and world at large. No matter how we got here, this is our open-heart-surgery moment. We have, perhaps, the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to transform ourselves both individually and collectively in order to be more optimally attuned and functioning better.

I realize that all might sound a bit dramatic, but I do believe this is the time we are in, even if we are only getting glimpses of the road ahead. As a species we have been out of balance and alignment in many areas of life, so whether this crisis is a natural occurrence we need to respond to urgently, or a manufactured one used to manipulate, oppress or profit off us, there can be no doubt it’s a wake-up call — a dismantling that on some level we needed and perhaps even subconsciously asked for to make us stronger from the inside out. It’s that big. And no one is exempt.

Now I never said this would be easy.

We are barely out of the “shock and awe” stage of this war/marathon, and you might not even totally grasp what is happening or what is yet to come. You may not fully realize that the life you had is in the process of transforming, which by its very nature means something must die in order to be reborn. And as author and lecturer Gregg Braden reminds us, there are five stages of grief we go through, some of them simultaneously. Which do you currently find yourself in: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression or Acceptance?

Because we don’t yet know the specifics, and there is still so much unknown of how this will all shake out, our mind/egos can start wreaking havoc and wanting to rebel against the lack of certainty in myriad ways. The good news is the one thing you can subdue your anxiety with is the knowledge that every challenge provides an opportunity. Every cloud has a silver lining. Destruction makes way for reconstruction. Something positive always comes out of something negative. As one door closes, another one opens. Something lost, something gained. And, as the old saying goes, “You are never given more than you can handle.”

When the dust settles from this demolition of the reality you once knew, you can start to think about how to restructure your life, your health, your work, your interpersonal relations, and your relationship to both inner and outer authority. You will start to understand more profoundly what you do and do not value, then act accordingly.

By now you’ve probably gotten a taste of what this new reality looks like for you — at least in the near future — with whom you’ll be experiencing it and how. For months now I’ve said to friends (half) jokingly, that I’ve been living in a hermitage, more self-isolated than usual due to some deep personal changes I have been going through. So now I can say to all of you, “Welcome to my world!”

I realize not everyone will have as easy as a transition with this pandemic-induced lifestyle change, i.e., especially if you are partnered, with kids, and now all working and schooling from home. Or if you have problematic roommates and family members with whom your interaction until now has remained minimal. Or if you usually use your abode only as a storage closet and place to rest your head at night because it leaves much to be desired …

Just as addicts need rehab, prisoners get house arrest/prison/solitary, and spiritual seekers and others need periodic retreats, remember those sites act as a container for transformation — made easier with some level of acceptance — whether they’ve come to that situation voluntarily or not. Ultimately, we must find the meaning and experience the feeling of being at home within ourselves, regardless of our environment.

For now, notice that this slowing down and containment forces us to focus on the quality, not the quantity of what we do and how we use our time, and with whom we spend (or don’t spend) it. What is the quality of the food you eat, the quality of the thoughts you think, the quality of the information you are consuming, the air that you breathe, the moments that you have? What about the quality of your communication and relationships? You now have time to do that journaling and think about who you are and what you are doing with your life. Who do you want to be and what do you want to do in a post-corona world? How can you build a quality inner foundation for yourself?

In my lectures, I always talk about how we need to take responsibility for our lives, our own happiness, no matter what the outer circumstances may be. Because it’s those very circumstances that we cannot control; but what we can control is our response. We have the ability to respond. The outcome in any situation, and the relative suffering we may or may not experience, is based on our response. So what will yours be today?

Not quite sure how to make this quarantine one of quality, not quantity? Give me a buzz and I’ll help you see the value of working on your inner Home Sweet Home so that you can build a palace worthy of your own glorious personal crown, not a corona of virus that keeps you down!

Please note: I realize there is part of the population who will be working harder than ever outside the home on the front lines; others will have extreme financial hardship and/or are stranded abroad. I want to acknowledge and profoundly thank those essential folks for your hard work and service, express empathy for those most severely economically and physically affected, and encourage you to trust there is a silver lining and much growth to be had for you as well at this time, it just might have a different “container” than I referred to above …

Today’s PGG was originally posted on March 20, 2020

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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

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A human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind,” was the conclusion of a Harvard study whose research was conducted using an iPhone app. It is a sentiment that many religions and philosophies have proclaimed for centuries and can best be summed up by the popular phrase “Be here now.”

If researchers had a window into our minds, they’d see that we are almost never fully engaged in what is right in front of us, whether we’re thinking about the past or future, or simply not focused on the task at hand — and that causes unhappiness.

According to Andrew Bernstein’s book The Myth of Stress, it’s not the activity or situation that is the stressor, it’s our mind’s perception and reaction to the situation that causes the stress. By recognizing the reality of a circumstance and truly comprehending why it is happening, you can greatly reduce your adverse response to whatever is taking place.

I am always talking about process and “understanding where you’re at.” Most unpleasant situations you find yourself in are impermanent; by simply accepting that they are temporary, you can greatly increase your sense of inner peace and balance. Because life is constantly in motion you need to learn how to “go with the flow” and knowing that “this too shall pass.”

Remember that if you show up mentally, as well as physically, to that meeting, event or conversation, you’ve already done half the work, and the Universe can meet you halfway to create whatever it is you want or need.

Out of chaos always comes clarity. Need a little help living happily in the unknown and keepin’ it in real time? Give me a buzz; I can be a human app that checks in to show you how to make sense of and make the best out of any situation you find your present self.

Today’s PGG was originally posted on November 16, 2010

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

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Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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As a career/life coach I have a unique vantage point to observe all types of people and notice certain trends and patterns that emerge. In addition to my clients, there is my circle of friends and family as well as my own personal experience, since I too am not immune to it all!

Lately the theme has been that of warrior being challenged in one or more areas of life, confronting unpleasant people or situations, dealing with loss, or relentlessly fighting a seemingly uphill battle at every turn. If you’ve been feeling tested (or testy) in the areas of relationships (all kinds), work (too much or not enough of it), finances (‘nough said), or having a health or identity crisis — essentially, the stuff of life — raise your hand and know that you are not the only one that’s been beaten up these past couple months.

As difficult as it may be, the key is to acknowledge and recognize through all the discomfort/frustration/stress where growth has occurred, understanding has transpired, and wisdom will eventually come. Don’t spend too much time figuring out why things have been going the way they have — instead, save your energy for what can I do and learn as a result of what I’ve been through and how can I incorporate these newfound strengths moving forward?

“Misery loves company” is a phrase we’ve all heard. It’s not a concept that I would normally promote, but in these times of technological isolation and social media’s “look at my fabulous life” updates and photos, there is comfort in knowing we’re not the only one struggling and it’s OK to share the truth of how we’re really doing.

The trick is not to have a pity party but to find community and provide mutual support; to take a collective heavy sigh and deep breath and have a good laugh about it, knowing that we’re all in a similar boat, and do what we can to make things better. At end of the day we are all human, and can offer one another a hug and a smile to get us through the hard times, which are always temporary.

If you want to dig a little deeper and sort out the who, what, why, when, where and how of what’s been going on, give me a buzz and I’ll help you see the lesson in the lickin’ and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Today’s PGG was originally posted on Decmber 14, 2010

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Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your mailbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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I love to sing. I’m not very good, but I do it anyway.

I have a “belting” playlist and periodically sing my guts out for an audience of none; I keep my earphones on so I can’t even hear my own off-pitch rendition. Sometimes I’ll be walking down the street or sitting on a bench somewhere and sing slightly out loud, much to the amusement of passersby. Or I’ll blast music in the car and sing at the top of my lungs, much to the dismay of my tween nephews who were with me during a recent episode.

Singing releases pent-up energy and allows us to express emotions in a way that words without rhythm, harmony and melody simply cannot. The marriage of thoughts with a tune is a powerful, healing one and when done honestly and authentically, it can connect us to our deepest center, the very core of our being. As one of my favorite vocalists, Jill Scott, says, you can study music theory and employ various techniques, but when you come on stage “you gotta sing with your soul, play with your soul.” Those who do are the performers who move us the most.

Like the Muppets and their friends, it’s generally best to “Sing of good things, not bad/ sing of happy not sad“, but they can allow to us process darker feelings too, so it’s okay to use corresponding songs according to the situation…just remember the purpose is to release and heal, not get to stuck and wallow.

You never need a reason to sing, but what better excuse to get your grove on than the holidays? There is no other time of year when it’s more common and acceptable to round up some folks and do some caroling or sit around the dining room table and sing a few festive tunes. Of course there’s always karaoke, your own bedroom mirror and plenty of choirs and live acts should you need some extra inspiration.

Need a little push to exercise those vocal chords and activate your own personal Glee? Give me a buzz; we’ll start at the very beginning of your Do Re Mis and find the song that helps you Dream On so you can fa la la la la throughout this holiday season and beyond!

Today’s PGG was originally posted on December 6, 2011

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CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG eNEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your mailbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Read over 100 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

Facebook
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Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express

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