Archives for the month of: October, 2016

In every life we have some trouble / But when you worry you make it double. ~ Bobby McFerrin

As the saying goes, three things are certain in life: death, taxes and change. Change comes in all shapes and sizes, some scarier than others:  climate change, career change, graduations, marriages, relationships, TV changes, sex changes, change of residences and regime change to name a few – and right now seems chock full of them!

The reality is that time keeps on slippin’ into the future, so we have no choice in the matter of change, because like Kevin James dancing in Hitch, “You can’t stop this, you cannnoottt stop it… ”

Most folks have a hard time with change.  We’d rather stay comfy and/or miserable rather than letting go of our crutches and seeing what else life might have in store us.  We cannot control things but we can control how we respond to them: we can resist and go kicking and screaming or we can accept that change happens, and just go with the flow.

Going with the flow means listening to yourself, and giving yourself what you need at any particular moment. The best way to deal with change is to trust in yourself and be your own best counsel, so it’s important to have that ‘muscle’ in place as you navigate the white water rapids of feelings that come with this thing called life.

Change is not always fun, but it’s almost always for the better because change forces growth and growth is good. And once the change happens, we can’t be like a goldfish that lived in a fishbowl its whole life and then when put into the ocean swims around in a little circle as if he were still in a bowl!

David Bowie tells us time may change you but you can’t trace time. So if you feel you are ready to be hatched, then fly, be free! Not quite like Mork’s egg, but more like Steve Miller’s Eagle or with the help of Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds and the wonder of that other Stevie who sings,  Don’t You Worry ‘Bout a Thing 

But if you’re not quite ready to fly the coop, walk without those crutches, or swim in the big blue ocean, give me a buzz and you can Lean on Me until you get strong and carry on!

(Today’s PGG was originally published on June 7, 2011)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

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I will continue to use my voice, the one I was told is important and matters. ~ Rosario Dawson

I’m not a huge fan of American Idol but have watched it here and there, and the theme I noticed this season has to do with contestants “finding their voice” and being artists who are true to themselves.  Now there’s a new kid on the block called The Voice, and the X-Factor coming around the corner as well.

Although on one hand we are attracted to the idea of being plucked from obscurity and thrust into the spotlight, I think our more subconscious obsession with these shows stems from how powerful that little box in our throat really is, because not enough of us use it to its fullest potential.

I have a client who feels she is not heard by her boyfriend, another who is trying to find his voice in his job, another who gets stuck when trying to articulate anything about herself. Shania Twain, who made a living and a fortune living by her voice, lost it after the devastating news of her husband’s betrayal and coming to terms with a traumatic childhood. Nothing is more effective to show us just how essential our voice is to who we are than when it is not there.

I recently had the privilege of meeting one of the most distinctive and profound voices in our society today, Dr.Cornel West, who was being honored, along with Rosario Dawson and former Mayor David Dinkins, at the very aptly named  Voices, the annual gala for The Brotherhood Sister Sol, an organization that empowers low-income Black and Latino youths to become agents of social change through education, activism and spoken word.  West, a frequent guest on mainstream TV talk shows, always has an intelligent and entertaining discourse with his host and speaks my kinda language about love, courage and shared humanity; he is an extremely unique voice of reason in a sea of media madness.         

At the end of the event, the students’ poem said you “can’t sing when your guard is up and your mouth is closed…..The consequences of silence are intolerable.”  No matter who you are, without your voice and your Voice, you are lost.

The logo and ads for The Voice show two fingers up in a V; I realized it’s no small coincidence that this is also the sign of peace and victory, as they are all intertwined. Because when you find your Voice and use it, you feel at peace with yourself and can be Victorious in overcoming any obstacle – and that is Vital.

Whether you want to sing like Christina or Shania, speak out like Rosario and Cornel, or are from Madonna’s generation or Gaga’s, it’s up to each of us to use what we’ve got, so give me a buzz and I’ll make you see how wonderful it is that you were Born this Way and then help you Express Yourself hey hey…

(Today’s PGG was originally published on May 10, 2011)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over thirty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

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When Lenny Kravitz came out with his anthem  in 1989, the world was at once very different from and exactly the same as it is now. The Cold War has been replaced by the War on Terror, the Middle East remains a mess, and there are still far too many people on the planet who live in the midst of hunger, disease and injustice.  Racism and religious bigotry are alive and well, and economies and the environment are in the tank.  Heavy sigh…when will we ever learn?

So what is little ole’ you to do? Well if as the saying goes, peace begins with me, then the question is:  Are you at war with yourself or with the people closest to you?

A loving relationship with yourself must come before you can be in one with another, or to even just to get along with your family, neighbors or strangers on the subway. We have to take the time and energy to forgive and love ourselves and others. It’s our responsibility to dig deep to see what is going on inside us, understand it and then have the courage to communicate honestly and lovingly first to ourselves, and then to those around us when appropriate.

Love is the most powerful force in the Universe when used intelligently and intentionally; it can move mountains, heal, connect and transform.

What are you waiting for? There is no more important time than now to let love start ruling your world. Love of yourself, love of each other, love of your work, and love of life itself – the very breath and heartbeat that is allowing you to read this email!

Need a little mediation between your head and your heart, what you earn and what you’re worth, your desires and your reality, or you and your significant other? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the peacekeeping force that helps you reconcile all the conflict zones in your life and make love the law of the land!

(Today’s PGG was originally published on September 10, 2010)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over thirty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

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Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours

Each generation doubtless feels called upon to reform the world. Mine knows that it will not reform it, but its task is perhaps even greater. It consists in preventing the world from destroying itself. Heir to a corrupt history, in which are mingled fallen revolutions, technology gone mad, dead gods, and worn-out ideologies, where mediocre powers can destroy all yet no longer know how to convince, where intelligence has debased itself to become the servant of hatred and oppression, this generation starting from its own negations has had to re-establish, both within and without, a little of that which constitutes the dignity of life and death.                  ~ Albert Camus (Nobel Speech, 1957)

Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose . ~ Lyndon B. Johnson   

The huge Barnes & Noble, a staple of my neighborhood and one of the anchors and few big bookstores left in Manhattan, recently closed its doors after 21 years. This follows a pattern of many other longtime rocks and havens in my ‘hood: the diner, a cleaners, two grocery stores, the nail salon, even my super – most of which had been there two decades or more. So many other businesses have vacated the premises over these past several years, only to make way for yet another bank, chain drug store or fancy condominiums I’m not sure who can afford. Yes, this has been the trend of the Big Apple as it changes and mall-ifies, and people, some of who are my friends, if they stay in the area, have been fleeing to greener, and/or less expansive pastures in places like Queens, The Bronx, Staten Island, New Jersey or Westchester (forget Brooklyn at this point!)

I have gone through some pretty major life changes over the past couple years, and these disappearing touchstones of “home” have compounded and affirmed the sensation of being reincarnated in the same body, and feeling like I’ve moved without actually having moved. The surroundings are familiar but feel different; sometimes its like being in one of those dreams where everything is a bit topsy-turvy….

Oh yes, and then there is the political landscape…. Never before in the history of this country (need to fact check, but am pretty sure) have we participated in and witnessed the slow dismantling, unraveling and unhinging of our government, culture and citizens at large, mutating into an almost unrecognizable caricature of our former selves.  It’s been a rude awakening for many in this nation that racism indeed still exists, and that being born a certain color can in fact determine whether you live or die in even the most benign of situations; that gun violence and extreme masculinity, rampant impropriety, dinosaur consciousness and medieval principles are coming out of the shadows and are alive and well, kicking and screaming, trying to hold on for dear life as the future marches on at an ever-increasing pace.

And in this digital landscape – where things are warped, exaggerated and regurgitated ad nauseam – we must be careful of how we relate to life; to become mindful of when we are living more online than off.  What are we doing? We must be hyper-aware and ever-vigilant of when we are letting outside influences, the manipulation of media and external distractions effect our ability to think for ourselves and control our most precious resources of time and energy, rather than producing our own news, plots and storylines in which we are the writers, directors and stars.

The advent of virtual reality and its widespread use in a variety of circumstances will confuse our brains even more in distinguishing time and place, and what is real or not.  But remember we also create our own virtual reality, for example, when you are thinking of something that has already happened, your brain cannot tell the difference between present and past, hence you re-experience those memories and emotions as you replay them over and over as if they are happening in real time, and because they are more than likely the negative ones, means you are constantly re-injuring yourself, causing unnecessary suffering and a skewed perception of your actual current state of being.

As the saying goes, like death and taxes, change is one of three things that are certain in life. But more recently we have been living through big upheavals and endings of not just chapters, but eras. Therefore, now, more then ever, letting go of the past is one of the most important things you can do in order to adjust to and situate yourself in this new uncharted territory.  To liberate yourself from the chains of the past and be fully present as to what your reality is today – whether you chose it, or like it, or not – must happen before you can start to build, create and expand within this newfound orientation.

Who do you want to be as we move forward in this new era? What do you want to accomplish? How do you want to live? Are you at least living in your own body? Can you get so comfortable in your own skin and inner being that you could be plopped down in the middle of Mars and still feel like you are “at home”? As we shift deeper into the more contemplative season of Fall, spend a little time pondering these questions and sowing the seeds of their eventual harvest that will come days, months and years from now.

Just as we are all going through an accelerated evolution as individuals, so is our country and the world, which is why so much upheaval and chaos abounds; gotta clean out the junk in the basement and attic and do some demolishing before you can re-model…And just like that process, we can remember, incorporate and/or hold on to the good, and let go of the bad.

It’s time to get back to the essentials of why and how our country was created – what we stand for, who our founding fathers intended us to be and what they hoped we could accomplish as a nation. In so doing, we must recognize that a nation is comprised of people, and therefore it is people who are entrusted with doing the right thing, making big decisions, coming up with solutions to problems, and then allocating the appropriate resources to take care of and protect its citizens, which is the sole purpose of government.

No doubt we need to change as a country, but what is the thoughtful approach to that process? It’s not a shocking headline, clever meme, funny gify, or a superficial spouting of patriotism; there is real work to be done, real structural changes that must happen, and most importantly, a genuine cultural shift and unification that needs to coalesce – but how do we do so without throwing the baby out with the bathwater? In other words, how can we help the country reincarnate in its own body, its own basic framework, while recognizing, mitigating and/or eliminating the inconsistencies of our past declarations, deeds and demonstrations so that we grow wiser and stronger moving forward?

Yes we should all vote but there is more we can do, which may or may not involve running for elected office. We all have a part to play in restoring dignity to our democracy and society at large, and prevent ourselves from imploding.  We have more power when we acknowledge and assume responsibility for our own lives, and the part we play in improving them for those around us, because we are all in it together. This requires us to take time away from Facebook or binging on the latest Netflix series, or at least learn to use them in a productive, balanced and constructive way…

And so my fellow Americans, my plea to you today as we rapidly enter this new era is to express yourself as positively as possible and develop your fullest potential, which will indirectly, or perhaps even directly, develop and express this country’s potential, and set our course, and that of the world, in the right direction, lest we will very soon be dealing with even Stranger Things.

Not sure what star or stripe you have to contribute to this terra incognita? Give me buzz, I’ll help you find, inhabit and make your true Home On the Range the best it can be, so that collectively will can make Our House a very very fine house.

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over thirty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List
Like me on Facebook  Follow me on Twitter

Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours

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