Archives for the month of: May, 2016

The unofficial start of summer is traditionally accompanied by a more relaxed, go-with-the-flow kind of attitude.  Years ago, re-runs were shown on a very limited number of TV channels, and there was no Internet to entice/distract/constrain us from being outside enjoying the warmer weather and longer days.

With our 21st century, 24/7 lifestyle, this means that we have to consciously take time to disconnect with technology and re-connect with Nature and ourselves.

Like that cool special effect in big blockbuster movies of our recent past and present, we need to pause midair and get a full 360 degree view of what is going on around us so that we can take the precise action to defend and/or advance who we are and what we want.

Whether in the park or at the beach, be sure to take a moment to reflect on where you really want to be going and why, rather than just moving unconsciously from one activity to the next, day after day.

If you’ve been feeling anxious or not in control, give me a buzz – I’ll take the remote out of your hand, put it on slo-mo (or even pause), and guarantee you’ll be Feelin’ Groovy in no time!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on June 1, 2010)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

FEELING STUCK IN YOUR CAREER? CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO!  

Last November I was one of the career experts featured in a panel discussion hosted by The Muse.  Here is the full length video where you can hear my thoughts on career transition, working with a coach, building confidence and handling emotions in the workplace.

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I recently attended the funeral of a good friend’s father.  He was Ukrainian, along with most of his relatives and friends, so everything was conducted in his native language.  At the brunch after the burial, a woman stood up and read with great emotion what she had written on a few sheets of loose leaf paper while many of us choked up.

I saw her by the ladies’ room soon after and mentioned how beautiful her speech was. In broken English she went on about how she messed up and it didn’t come out the way she wanted, etc. I stopped her mid-sentence and said, “I don’t speak a word of Ukrainian.”  Puzzled, she replied, “Well, I just spoke from my heart.”  And I said, “Yes, that’s why it was so beautiful. ”

I often begin my seminars reminding the attendees that someday, hopefully in the very distant future, they will die.  Perhaps it’s morbid, but like change and taxes, death is one of the few certainties in life. When you look at your existence through that lens, before a crisis forces you to do so, it can be extremely powerful in helping to organize your thoughts and actions in a way nothing else can.

When we can accept it, our own mortality, or that of those closest to us, really puts things in perspective: What is it that we value? What and whom do we hold dear? What is real and meaningful for us?  And when you look back on your life, how do you want to have used your time and energy while you were here?  What is the mark that you want to leave on the world? How do you want people to remember you when you are gone?

Death and dying remind us that when all the external stuff falls away, what’s left?  You can’t take that designer bag, fancy car or impressive job title. It cuts to the core and brings us to the one essential thing that every human being desires – to love and to be loved in return.

At the end of the day, all you have is the impact of the life you led, mostly found in close connections with others and memories you’ve shared. You may never know the effect you’ve had on strangers, and family dynamics can of course be complicated, but remember, you choose your friends, and true friends who have been a part of your journey are precious; they are there regardless of too much time having passed or petty misunderstandings.

A crisis will always give us clarity as to what’s important and what we can offer one another.  If you let them, all that comes to the surface is love and compassion.  And to be there for someone, to have the opportunity to be a healing presence in whatever form that may take, is a gift for both the giver and receiver.

As we embrace the energy of Spring, think about which parts of yourself can bite the dust, giving way for the rebirth of and deeper commitment to honor and cherish your relationship with yourself and the healthy ones you have with others, to cultivate new connections that will enrich your journey, and to reaffirm your relationship to life itself.

Not sure what you would want to hear when you go or simply want to develop more fully all that you can’t leave behind?  Give me a buzz and I’ll help you Walk On, and be able to feel good about it all, here and now.

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on April 4, 2012)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
Like me on Facebook  Follow me on Twitter

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

FEELING STUCK IN YOUR CAREER? CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO!  

  Last November I was one of the career experts featured in a panel discussion hosted by The Muse.  Here is the full length video where you can hear my thoughts on career transition, working with a coach, building confidence and handling emotions in the workplace.

The other half of the question of what there is to celebrate is what mothered and mothers you, how you mother yourself, how you celebrate and recognize what cares for you and takes care of you, and what you care for in return. ~ Rebecca Solnit

Peace is not just the absence of war. It is the presence of mothering. ~ Gloria Steinem

Because I knew in my early 20’s I did not want to become a mother in the traditional/noun sense, I’ve never felt left out of today. As a human being I have a right to this choice, however as a woman in 2016 I do not take this for granted and I’m ever-grateful for the time, culture and place I live in, as well as those who have fought for and given their lives in order for me to exercise this right without (much) prejudice or persecution.

I’ve also never felt left out because of much of what Gloria writes here. I have never given birth to or chose to adopt and be responsible for the survival and well-being of another human, which is unfathomable to me – I give all of you who do so tremendous credit and am in complete awe of the undertaking. But I have experienced, and continue to experience, mothering the verb in so many ways.

I gave birth to The Women’s Mosaic and took care of it for over 10 years; I birthed a book of over 131 essays and I’m creating more PGG’s every month (I think this might be one…!). I felt like a mother worrying about a teenage daughter when my mom was out partying and having fun with the boys late at night, then experienced care giving for when she was too ill to take care of herself, and then honored and cared for her possessions when she was gone.

Over the past 15 years and counting, I have been a mentor and provider of loving guidance to the growth and development of countless interns, volunteers and clients, who are often young enough to be my sons or daughters, and I consider many of them as such, regardless of their age. I like to think that I’m a nurturing friend and sibling, and care deeply for those who are in my life. I feel a responsibility for and have dedicated my life to contributing to peace and harmony on the planet in whatever way I can.

But most importantly, and especially having gone through the loss of both parents now, I am constantly giving birth to myself – I have learned, and continue to learn, how to take care of my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual needs and give myself permission to express the fullest version of who I am, which is a work in progress.

Mothering oneself and others is essential to both inner and outer peace, so no matter who you are, what your status or gender, we can all strive for and celebrate being the best mothers we can be.

Read the inspiration for this post from Gloria Steinem’s MOTHER AS A VERB post here

Read Rebecca Solnit’s (quoted above) post about Mother’s Day here 

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
Like me on Facebook  Follow me on Twitter

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

FEELING STUCK IN YOUR CAREER? CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO!  

  Last November I was one of the career experts featured in a panel discussion hosted by The Muse.  Here is the full length video where you can hear my thoughts on career transition, working with a coach, building confidence and handling emotions in the workplace.

Humanity with all its fears,

 With all its hopes of future years,

 Is hanging breathless on thy fate.

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Those words may seem a little dramatic, but many of you know my philosophy is that personal transformation is the key to social transformation.  And as I also always say, we are living in extraordinary times. 

There is a reason why you are born in the year and place you were, with the characteristics – physical, mental and emotional, every circumstance – that you alone possess; you are who you are at this particular point in history for a reason.

Our country and our world is in the midst of an identity crisis which brings with it some tough growing pains. Things are shifting and reaching their breaking point on every level – whether being fed up with racial injustice, fighting for a government and economy that works without legislating by greed or medieval definitions of morality, having the courage to speak up for what it means to be comfortable in your own skin regardless of the gender you appear to be vs. what you know you are and your rights to your sexual orientation; the Earth crying out for healing with earthquakes and extreme weather, and the subsequent destruction and crisis’ that force us to work together; or even collectively lamenting the end of an era with Dave and Jon’s exit from their late night posts – the Universe is pushing us to our limits and asking us to stretch our ultimate acceptance of each other as part of the same human family.

Change brings with it the unknown, which makes most of people kind of bonkers. Perhaps you or a loved one is going through a health crisis, experiencing a breakup or loss, recovering from a natural disaster, transitioning from male to female, or are in between jobs or graduating into the “real” world.  Not knowing what’s next, or realizing that what once was can no longer be is unsettling to say the least when we don’t have the tools and perspective to cope.

One antidote to this anxiety is remembering that everyone has a gift to offer, and when you both discover and use that gift in the present, it is much easier to trust what may come tomorrow.

If you want to heal others, you don’t even have to be a doctor or a nurse; you can be like the 23year old young man who so lovingly, respectfully and skillfully transports extremely vulnerable patients from their hospital bed to their procedures; making their day just a little less stressful, and provides much comfort and ease to help alleviate the fear such a situation entails. You can connect and find common ground with, or event protest for, the rights of someone who is seemingly different from you. You can send a text to see how your friend is doing. You can write a song or book or paint a picture that brings even just a few moments of joy and upliftment to someone in the midst of a challenging situation.  Dr. Christianne Northrup talks about how the greatest gift you can give to the world is your own healed life.

Maybe you do have the big, profound idea that will literally change the way we live, or save millions of lives, but maybe you just allow yourself to be who you are and pursue your highest calling, no matter what that is or what it looks like, or how different it may be than everyone currently around you, knowing that someone will benefit from your efforts should you have the courage to walk that path.

You matter. Everyone has a part to play in the healing of our planet, regardless how big or small. We are all trying to survive and thrive the best we can.  We must resist the tendency for technology to make us robots and feel disconnected to others; we can all do something everyday that is of service to someone else or expresses gratitude for the service someone has offered us.

Life matters. What we do right now determines how we will live tomorrow.  As the poet Mary Oliver says, “The patterns of our lives reveal us. Our habits measure us. Our battles with our habits speak of dreams yet to become real.”   We are here to heal the wounds of our world and to lend our voice, talent, passion, money and action to leave it a better place with our having existed. What kind of presence – not wishful thinking – are you giving to today, knowing that it will make a better tomorrow?

Not quite sure what your part in the future is? I’m no Disney-fied version of George Clooney, but can nevertheless inspire you to make the most of today, and if not, assure you like a little orphan named Annie, that the sun will always come out, because tomorrow is only a day away…

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on May 5, 2015)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
Like me on Facebook  Follow me on Twitter

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

FEELING STUCK IN YOUR CAREER? CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO!  

  Last November I was one of the career experts featured in a panel discussion hosted by The Muse.  Here is the full length video where you can hear my thoughts on career transition, working with a coach, building confidence and handling emotions in the workplace.

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