Archives for the month of: May, 2019

A few years ago I attended a workshop with Erica Jong, who implored us to write the story we absolutely had to tell or we would die. She also taught us to write something that unlocks who we are, encouraged us to be ourselves, and told us to discover and write in our own voice. But how do you know what your voice is if you never use it?

You don’t need to be an aspiring blogger, poet or novelist to heed these wise words. I always recommend that folks write as much as they can in order to get in touch with their inner selves; a journal is a place where you can be truly free to express who you are and what you need to say. When you’ve connected honestly and often enough to that internal, emotional voice, you will begin to reveal who you are and what is important to you – whether in career, relationships or life in general. We write what we need to read.

A journal is a place to clarify your feelings, share your ideas and experiences, release the past, and make plans for the future, all without judgment. Your journal is your best friend. At the very least it is a to-do list, for items big and small. The act of writing something down makes it real and tangible and helps crystallize the hurricane of thoughts and emotions we often have swirling around inside us.

The process of putting it all on the page can make us more effective in communicating what we need or want from others or ourselves – and actually make sense doing so! I also suggest using a pen and paper whenever possible. It’s more organic and raw when you take out the technological middle man.

If you access your authentic voice in writing, then, as Erica said, “being an author makes you an authority.”

You don’t have to be the next Maya Angelou, JD Salinger or Danielle Steele to be the author of your own life and truth. Just start by putting pen to paper, and you’ll soon be on the way to your own personal best-seller list before you can say Pulitzer Prize!

(Today’s PGG  was originally published on August 31, 2010)

***CLICK HERE FOR MY MEANINGFUL MAY POWER HOUR COACHING OFFER Good through May 31st! ***

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over fifty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

 Facebook Twitter Instagram LinkedIn YouTube

One of my current clients has done a tremendous amount of work in a very short time: She has had major revelations in noticing past patterns, stripped away unhealthy relationships and is beginning to tap into who she really is, not who she became to please everyone else. It takes an immense amount of effort to do this.

For the caterpillar, transformation literally means disintegrating its old form to become ‘goop’ while protected in the cocoon prior to emerging as a butterfly. You can imagine the energy required to do so, and it can’t be very comfortable being formless and not able to see much, if it can see at all — it’s not easy being goop!

Conscious or not of its eventual destiny, the old self, having served its purpose, is dying a type of death and a natural grieving process occurs. In consoling my client about letting go of her past, I mentioned how Cher had a hard time because intellectually she had grasped what was happening, but she became very upset when she realized the voice of her child was changing; her daughter was now becoming a son. And although the person that she gave birth to was very much still there, she was losing Chastity in order to welcome Chaz.

Chaz Bono, and anyone who is transgender, has to deal with perhaps the most extreme of identity issues. The amount of courage it takes to make such a transition, especially in the public eye, is truly inspiring. Not only did Chaz have to know and be comfortable enough with himself to make such a seemingly drastic decision, but he also had the poise and confidence to articulate so graciously and effectively how and why he needed to do what he did, demonstrating a profound lesson for us all in ultimate self-awareness and love.

Chaz’s story is an important and powerful one because no matter how we identify ourselves, we all go through various forms of transformation throughout our lives – some more internal, others more external – in order to evolve into the best and fullest versions of our own humanity. His experience teaches us to be true to ourselves, accept and honor all of who we are, and trust that those who sincerely care for us will do so as well, even if it does take some time to adjust. Chaz is more content in his new body and his new life than he has ever been; the more of us who get to that place, the better off we all are.

Whether you want to find your voice, be more comfortable in your body, or express more of your Sal or Sally, I can be a mirror and guide for you in the process, peeling back the layers and providing a cocoon of support and space for you to go from goop to glorious, like a Butterfly!

(Today’s PGG  was originally published on May 27, 2011)

***CLICK HERE FOR MY MEANINGFUL MAY POWER HOUR COACHING OFFER Good through May 31st! ***

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over fifty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

 Facebook Twitter Instagram LinkedIn YouTube

The other half of the question of what there is to celebrate is what mothered and mothers you, how you mother yourself, how you celebrate and recognize what cares for you and takes care of you, and what you care for in return.  ~Rebecca Solnit

On this day and forever more, we will be reminded that peace is not just the absence of war. It is the presence of mothering.  ~ Gloria Steinem

Because I knew in my early 20s I did not want to become a mother in the traditional/noun sense, I’ve never felt left out of Mother’s Day. As a human being, I have a right to this choice; however, as a woman in the 21st century, I do not take this for granted and I’m ever-grateful for the time, culture and place I live in, as well as for those who have fought for and given their lives in order for me to exercise this right without (much) prejudice or persecution.

I’ve also never felt left out because of much of what Gloria writes here. I have never given birth to or chosen to adopt and be responsible for the survival and well-being of another human, which is unfathomable to me — I give all of you who do so tremendous credit and am in complete awe of the undertaking. But I have experienced, and continue to experience, mothering the verb in so many ways.

I gave birth to The Women’s Mosaic and took care of it for over 10 years; I birthed a book of 131 essays and I’m creating more PGGs every month [well not lately, but I am working on my second book!]. I felt like a mother worrying about a teenage daughter when my mom was out partying and having fun with the boys late at night, then experienced care-giving when she was too ill to take care of herself, then honored and cared for her possessions when she was gone.

Over the past [18?!] years and counting, I have been a mentor and provider of loving guidance to the growth and development of countless interns, volunteers and clients, who are often young enough to be my sons or daughters, and I consider many of them as such, regardless of their age. I like to think that I’m a nurturing friend and sibling, and I care deeply for those who are in my life. I feel a responsibility for and have dedicated my life to contributing to peace and harmony on the planet in whatever way I can.

But most important, and especially having gone through the loss of both parents now, I am constantly giving birth to myself — I have learned, and continue to learn, how to take care of my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual needs and to give myself permission to express the fullest version of who I am, which is a work in progress.

Mothering oneself and others is essential to both inner and outer peace, so no matter who you are, or what your status or gender, all of us can strive for and celebrate being the best mothers we can be.

Read the inspiration for this post from Gloria Steinem’s “MOTHER AS A VERB” essay here

Read Rebecca Solnit’s post (quoted above) about Mother’s Day here

(Today’s PGG was originally published on May 10, 2016)

***CLICK HERE FOR MY MEANINGFUL MAY POWER HOUR COACHING OFFER Good through May 31st! ***

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over fifty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

 Facebook Twitter Instagram LinkedIn YouTube

I recently received in my actual (not email) mailbox a beautiful Thank You card with a handwritten note from a lovely young man who had attended several of my talks, some of the contents of which I excerpt here:

First off, I’d like to say thank you for the work you do and the value you provide. You are as genuine and authentic as it gets and that is very refreshing especially nowadays. …. Keep doing what you’re doing. The world needs more people like you!

As many of you know, it’s been a journey for me to be able to stand in front of a room of people to share my ideas regarding work and life. I’m an introvert by nature who used to be, and at times still is, quite shy. I would get stiff necks and have coughing fits prior to presentations. I am much more a behind the scenes kind of gal; my comfort zone and where I excel is working with folks one on one. I utter tons of “umms, you knows, sort of, likes” etc., use more hand gestures than your old Italian uncle, don’t (know how or) use PowerPoint, tend to ramble or go off on tangents, and the words I am looking for often escape me.

But I had something to say, which overruled any trepidation or limitations I thought I had about public speaking, and the feedback I always received was positive regardless how I thought I did, so I kept doing it. My passion for what I wanted to communicate was stronger than any fear I had about the technical aspects of how I was communicating it; ironically it turns out how I communicated was often what people liked and responded to the most!

In January 2010 I was frustrated with all the New Year’s messaging out there and felt compelled to say something. I also needed a newsletter for my at the time two and a half year-old coaching business, so I thought, why not combine the two?

Didn’t know what I was doing. Barely had a website. Don’t really read. Am slightly dyslexic. Terrible at grammar. Have limited vocabulary/not a wordsmith or was even someone who appreciates words or writers or, like I said, reads books.

But I just put it out there. And people liked it. The feedback was encouragingly good. Who knew I was a …writer? (Still have a hard time calling myself one). I committed to writing every week (each PGG taking 8-12 hours to complete) which I did for two years straight, until I realized I could re-run some of them (duh). The writing and design improved, I found my voice and continued to receive positive feedback. I enjoyed getting into the groove of their creation and consider them my art.

So [almost 12] years and 150+ original essays and a published book later, here I am. Apparently this whole other part of me needed to be born, and I allowed it to be.

In response to my year-end request for feedback on my PGGs, I found a generous and thoughtful Amazon review posted on January 2nd (thanks to whoever wrote it!), a portion of which I quote here:

It’s very different than others, but Kristina’s method really builds up a strong foundation in an individual by first solving the deep issues then growing from there…..Kristina is really unique and I’m very grateful she’s out there.

My point in sharing all this with you for some inspiration is twofold:

  1. DO YOU. If you’re inspired or want to do something, don’t think you have to know exactly what you’re doing or need to make it “perfect” or do it like anyone else. Express yourself in your own way – you never know where it will lead or who you might be helping as a result. Don’t be afraid of the unknown and allow yourself to unfold naturally. You will grow and surprise yourself, no doubt.
  2. Never, ever, underestimate the power and impact of letting someone know how their work, their assistance, their understanding, their EXISTENCE has impacted you in a positive way. You can’t possibly imagine how the expression of appreciation – the more personal the better, in the simplest of sentiments or grandest of gestures – can make or break someone’s day, life, journey; how that can encourage them to keep on keepin’ on even when things get tough, so that they can be who they are and do what they do, and impact even more people in a positive way. And we need positive impact more than ever.

We are entering an era where you will be more urgently required to express your highest and best potential, to be who you are and do the thing you are meant to do, and above all, be as human as possible and acknowledge the beauty and spirit of each others’ existence as graciously and as often as possible. We must remember who we are to ourselves, and to each other.

Not sure how you can express the creativity and passion within you? Give me a buzz and I’ll help you to trust that a 5-star review starts with the courage to take a groovy walk down whatever path is right for you, accompanied by a little funk a long the way!

(Today’s PGG was originally published on January 4, 2017)

***CLICK HERE FOR MY MEANINGFUL MAY POWER HOUR COACHING OFFER Good through May 31st! ***

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over fifty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

 Facebook Twitter Instagram LinkedIn YouTube

%d bloggers like this: