Archives for the month of: January, 2014

We don’t want to hear about the process because we want everything to be instantaneous. Process in life always comes before the promotion. ~ T.D. Jakes


Now so much I know
that things just don’t grow
if you don’t bless them with your patience
.
~ Emmylou’ by First Aid Kit

 

As I am in the midst of my seventh year coaching professionally, I find this a major theme that comes up over and over with most everyone I work with.  Everybody wants answers and results overnight; they want action steps and bullet points to go from point A to B to C.  And they get very frustrated when I tell them it doesn’t work like that!    

 

But if they listen, do the ‘homework’ and begin to understand and internalize what I have to say, the inevitable always happens – they get answers, re-discover and connect to themselves, see light at the end of the tunnel, feel an inner shift, gain a new perspective, land their dream job, increase their self-esteem, are more integrated and fulfilled than they could have ever imagined.  And more times than not, at the end of the day, month, year(s), I get a begrudging….”You were right!”

 

For any lasting growth and change to occur you have to embrace the 3P’s – process, patience, and persistence. Depending what you are working on you could see or feel results after one session, six weeks, six months, or three years –  some are big and external, but most subtle and more internal as they are still ‘cooking’ so to speak.  Remember we are always evolving – and the acorn does not become the oak tree overnight!

 

There are certain times of the year that inspire more focus on change than others, whether organic or collectively agreed upon with, say, a Western calendar. Feeling like the resolutions you made January 1st are already long gone or had a false start? The good news is that you have a second chance with the Lunar New Year that begins this Thursday – which I always felt was more accurate anyway since as humans we are more in harmony with the cycles of the moon…

 

This is the Year of the Horse, so before you go galloping into the future all willy-nilly be sure you are implementing the changes that you truly desire and are going in the best direction at this time in your life, or perhaps you need a course correction – either way you want to harness that energy to make the most of the months ahead. 

 

Not sure how? Here are a few ways my services can help, as most of you fall into one or a combination of the following categories:

 

Executive Coaching:

Who:  Managers, Business Owners, Directors, C-Suite Executives 

What: Authentic leadership, motivate staff, cultivate teamwork, facilitate communication, inspire vision and culture, increase employee engagement, manage stress, improve work/life wellness

ROI/Why:  Productivity, People and Profit!

 

Career Coaching:

Who:  Career Changers, Career Climbers, Job Searchers, Moms, Dads, Grads

What:  Exploration, discovery and attainment of meaningful work and lifepath, improve job performance, professional development and advancement, enter or re-enter job force, time/stress management and work/life wellness 

ROI/Why:  Purpose, Peace and Promotion!  

 

Life Coaching:

Who: Anyone feeling lost/at a crossroads, unsatisfied, stressed, blocked, confused, passionless   

What: Life transitions, identity issues/crisis, body/mind/spirit wellness, authentic expression, improved relationships   

ROI/Why:  Balance, Bounty and Bliss!  

 

Any or all of these sound like you? Give me a buzz, I’ll be the Horse Whisperer that will guide you to the clarity, balance and direction you need in every area of your life to make 2014 your best calendar and lunar year yet!   Gong Xi Fa Zai!

   新年快樂!! 

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Life’s most urgent question is: What are you doing for others? ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

One of the most common desires I hear from clients when embarking on a new career or making a transition is that they want to be doing something with meaning, something that helps people.

My approach is to ask them, “What is the thing that makes you, you? What you are passionate about; when do you lose track of time?” I inquire as to what their fantasy job would be, and very rarely does that answer have to do with becoming a social worker or joining the Peace Corps.

You don’t have to become the next Mother Teresa, Gandhi or MLK to make a difference and live your life in service to others. Perhaps that may be your path, but as Dr. King also said, “Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.” Running for public office or volunteering on a regular basis can certainly fill that role, but service can be expressed in a myriad of forms that aren’t always so obvious or grandiose. Just being yourself and doing your best at YOU allows us to benefit from whatever unique gifts and talents you possess.

When one’s work is done with love and integrity, every job is one of service. MLK day is also about celebrating diversity, which can refer to many things, including vocation.  We all have jobs that make the world go round. Whether it’s the super taking care of your building, the bus driver making sure you get to your destination safely, the guy who makes your coffee and bagel every morning, the janitor that cleans the public restrooms you use, the designer of the clothes you are wearing, the comedian that made you laugh last night, the singer whose song you enjoyed on your iPod, writer whose novel you devoured over the weekend – no occupation is too insignificant, as long as it is done to the best of one’s ability, you can see how any of those people have served you on some level.

And regardless of your job, there is also the service you can provide by smiling at someone when you’re walking down the street, or showing a kindness to a stranger, and notice how for moment you made someone happy or uplifted them in some way.

The thing that I enjoy most and lose track of time doing is talking to folks about their life’s work and helping them make their everyday existence as meaningful and peaceful as possible. I would love the opportunity to help you connect the dots of your life, create more work/life balance and recognize the value in whatever you do,  so just give me a buzz as I am always here, at your service!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted January 18, 2011)

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click above  for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

One of the things I try to do when speaking to groups in career transition is put back the power in their hands and their hearts. I let you know you should not accept your fate as victims of a system or think you are subject to the whims of the economy, conventional wisdom, how things appear on the surface or any external voices; and that where there is a will there is a way.

I want you to find the connection, strength and truth of who you are, how you got to this moment, and then motivate you to make the changes necessary to grow and move forward in a positive direction in your career and life.  I ask you to take back control of your job search, trust in the process, and often end in a half-jokingly way with my fist up and the rally call ‘Power to the People’!

It’s not that I ignore the cold hard reality of the way the world works these days and how that might impact job prospects or a fulfilling existence, but I do want to wake folks up to the fact that you are not passive participants in life, and that you have much more power over and responsibility for your situation than you might realize or want to admit, which means that you can’t blame anyone, and you probably just have to work a little harder and/or smarter to get the results you want.

We’ve collectively come to a crossroads where this could not be more true – we’ve allowed a variety of entities to take over, bombard and bamboozle our hearts and minds and bodies- whether governments, corporations, the military, Hollywood, or some combination of them all – to take advantage of our numbing tendencies, heads in the sand, electronic distractions and/or sheer need to survive the daily grind…how much longer can we take it?

With all the recent talk on spying, why not do some internal surveillance to observe and feel what’s going on in your life right now – what kind of tyranny is dictating your thoughts, words and deeds, consciously or subconsciously?  Where can you take action, even if only symbolic, to show that you, not your oppressor, is in charge? What is your version of Tahrir, Taksim or Brasilia? What would Edith Windsor, Wendy Davis or Tim DeChristopher do in your situation? What Supreme Court  judgments do you need to overturn or restore in your heart? How can you bend the rules in your favor without breaking them or engage in civil disobedience when they are no longer (or never where) valid or have become corrupted? Where do you need more courage in your life?  What can you liberate yourself from?

As I always say, personal transformation is the key to social transformation, so if we want a better world we need to start with our own. Use that intelligence gathering to find something, someone or some idea in your life that is holding you back – keeping in mind that this is often our own ego or limiting beliefs! Perhaps it is simply letting go of an image of how you think you are supposed to be or were told you are, or approaching a health issue, relationship or unemployment with forgiveness and a new point of view that puts you in the driver’s seat. Or maybe the most radical thing you can do is love yourself unconditionally.

Need a little help Shaking the Tree?  Give me a buzz and I’ll help you find the Strength, Courage and Wisdom to Use the Force and create the life you so deserve!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on July 9, 2013)

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Truth is a deep kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life and share with the people the same happiness. ~ Khalil Gibran

If you look for truth, you may get comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair. ~ C.S. Lewis

New Year’s always stirs up thoughts about what we want to change in our lives, but that means you need to have a good idea of what needs to change in the first place – and like the famous prayer says, have the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Getting to that accurate perception is the first step, and might actually be more important than making the change; therefore perhaps our work this year is to ‘snap out of it’ and instead see ourselves, situations and people as they really are, not how we’d like them to be.  Then, and only then, can real change begin.

Humans, especially 21st century versions, want what we want when we want it; our media and technology only makes this worse, fueling our impulses and imagination with its magnified distortion of time, place and interaction; it enables us to more easily delude ourselves in thinking our situation is one way, when it is in fact another; when we think a job, our health, or relationships are positive when it’s not, or, vice versa.  It distracts us and makes us forget that anything lasting is a process and requires massive amounts of reflection, patience and perseverance.

As the saying goes, ‘know the truth and the truth shall set you free’.  It’s not always fun getting there, and letting go of lifelong dreams and illusions and accepting ourselves, people and circumstances as they are, relinquishing any hope that they are or will become what or who you wish them to be can be extremely painful and in fact feel like a death which you need to grieve.

But the good news is that knowing and accepting the truth affords us a more profound, productive and meaningful life experience when we know what is real. When we live from that place we can then make better decisions about addressing any situation, how to improve it or let it go – the more accurate the assessment, the more effective the solution can be.

Because of my talent for connecting the dots, cutting through the ‘crap’ and getting to the root of things quickly and directly, my clients might not like what I have to tell them at first – yet they always come back to me days, weeks or years later and admit it was not necessarily what they wanted to hear, but ultimately exactly what they needed at the time. (….And saved them thousands of dollars in therapy!)

The truth can be overwhelming but once acknowledged means you can really start to move forward. So before you seriously embark any resolutions, begin there. It’s strong medicine to start the year off, but essential if you want to get healthy in any area of your life.

Feeling like A Change is Gonna Come, but not sure how to make it happen? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the doctor with the diagnosis and that spoon full of sugar to make the medicine go down! ❤

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