When author and self-help/relationship guru Iyanla Vanzant was asked what her prayer is, she answered that she had three. The first one is “Help!” The second is “Help Now!” And the third is: “Thank you.”

Many studies and notable folks have promoted the benefits and magic that the energy of gratitude unleashes; whether writing a daily list, speaking it to others in your life, or silently acknowledging everything you are thankful for as they arise in and around you, gratitude opens your heart and is the best way to celebrate your life, stay grounded and reduce your stress no matter what.

Yes, we all know that Oprah keeps a gratitude journal, but even tough guy media mogul and bison king Ted Turner, in some of his darkest hours in the midst of a huge corporate mess and painful divorce, said that’s what kept him going. Every night before he went to sleep he would think about everything in life he was grateful for, and that helped get him through to another day.

Of course it’s easy to be grateful when things are going your way, got lucky or you prayers were answered, but what about in the midst of a difficult situation or for the things we take for granted and hardly even notice anymore?

It’s not always easy when you’re in the moment, but just try breaking out some appreciation when dealing with serious challenges and/or their aftermath (i.e. taking care of a sick/aging parent, being laid off from your job, breaking up with a longtime partner, facing a debilitating illness or physical disaster), and focus on whatever good the situation is allowing you to experience right then and there. Remember to think about other hard times you’ve gone through in the past – in hindsight you were always glad they happened, right?

There are so many ways and moments that we can use gratitude, not the least of which is in our everyday interactions – whether with friends, family, foe or stranger, the common courtesies of “please” and “thank you” go a long way and are indeed deposits in the gratitude account.

And the little things and everyday surroundings we take for granted are not to be overlooked; this truly is the stuff of life: “Thank you for the roof over my head, my functioning brain, my ability to dance and listen to music, all the work I’ve done on myself to get to this point. The fresh air, sunshine and easy access to the ocean as well as to the mountains; the rain that makes the leaves green and the air that those leaves create so I can breathe; for the good friends and people who support me and make me laugh…” you get the idea.

It’s even become automatic now that when I sit down to eat a meal, I briefly pause to silently give thanks for the fact that I have food before me and appreciate the nourishment it provides, the miracle of Nature, the variety of options available to me; for all the hard work it took to get it here; the people at the farmer’s market and grocery store; the fact that I had the money buy it and my ability to cook, see, smell, taste and digest it; for the pleasure it gives me. It takes only a few seconds to encompass that recognition and all of those thoughts into one acknowledging feeling, because when you really think about it, it truly is a blessing. (P.S. I LOVE food.)

And, as a professional coach, I am beyond grateful to all my clients, who trust me with your time, energy, journey and dollars, and allow me the opportunity to do something I truly love that helps you grow and heal your lives, which in turn has helped me to grow and heal mine.  And for my PGG readers who allow me to express myself in a creative way that you find beneficial and entertaining:  Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

It’s true that “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” so if you can’t quite see the silver lining in the clouds around you, give me a buzz and I’ll help you taste the rainbow of your life.

Wishing you and your family peace and abundance this Thanksgiving holiday and beyond!

(*A version of today’s PGG was originally posted on July 8, 2014)

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These days it seems that ugly is the status quo. We are bombarded with so many negative events, factual and fictional – both served up as entertainment- that we have simply become used to it. In these days of doom and gloom I encourage you all to imagine the opposite: What if Beauty became the norm?

And when I talk about Beauty, I don’t mean a two-dimensional feast for the eyes, or pleasure for pleasure’s sake, although that is part of it.  True beauty is three-dimensional; it is something to be felt and experienced, not just superficially appreciated.  Beauty happens inside and out.  It is never just cosmetic. It is something to be absorbed by every fiber of your being, whether admiring a work of art, listening to music, observing Nature in its magnificent glory, witnessing an act of courage or compassion or enjoying a person’s human expression at its best.

So, where do we begin, how do we do this? It’s tempting to just tune out and distract ourselves with whatever we can, and hope that the problems of the world instantly vanish or some drug company creates a pill for peace.  But the truth is that the more disconnected and desensitized we become, the more problems we will have.

Most people are walking around emotionally constipated. We need to keep our senses alive, intact, ebbing and flowing in a balanced way – yet not letting them run the show or allowing any external images or situations grab control of us. We need to be able to respond from the deepest human level so we can know how to react, when to take action, when to pick up the phone, when to tweet or post something, when to set boundaries or ask for help, and when to turn off the TV or computer.

Brene Brown, in her now-famous Ted Talk on vulnerablity, tells us that when we numb the bad, we numb the good too.  So you can’t just shut yourself off if you want to feel love, compassion, empathy, kindness, and yes even feel beauty.   Feeling means we are alive.  If not, then what are we?

Duality is a fact of life: in order to appreciate the sunshine, you need the rain. Once you are able to connect with and feel ALL of what is going on within you, with a little regular detox of  laughter and tears, you can deal with the not-so-pleasant emotions as they come up, let go of them more easily, and conversely take hold of and relish in the positive, ecstatic and joyous ones even longer – expanding and benefiting from that energy more profoundly.

Look for Beauty everywhere and let in the Beauty to overpower the beast. Allow the darkness, anger, pain and shame to move through you so that you can then use that same vehicle to embody and express supreme joy and love when they abound. You can then more accurately observe and call out injustice because you know in your heart what truth, justice, goodness and beauty look and feel like.

Not quite sure how to go from Blah to Bliss? Give me a buzz, and I’ll show you how living life as a fully-fledged member of the human race has its rewards, and being able to FEEL Truth, Freedom, Beauty & Love are by far the best!

(A version of today’s PGG was originally posted on August 20, 2014)

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We don’t want to hear about the process because we want everything to be instantaneous. Process in life always comes before the promotion. ~ T.D. Jakes

Now so much I know that things just don’t grow if you don’t bless them with your patience. ~ ‘Emmylou’ by First Aid Kit

As a professional coach for over eight years now, I find this a major theme that comes up over and over with most everyone I work with.  Everybody wants answers and results overnight; they want action steps and bullet points to go from A to B to C.  And they get very frustrated when I tell them it doesn’t work like that!

But if they listen, do the ‘homework’ and begin to understand and internalize what I have to say, it is inevitable that they will get answers, rediscover and connect to themselves, see light at the end of the tunnel, feel an inner shift, gain a new perspective, land their dream job, increase their self-esteem, are more integrated and fulfilled than they could have ever imagined.  And more times than not, at the end of the day, month, year(s), I get a begrudging….”You were right!”

For any lasting growth and change to occur you have to embrace the three Ps – process, patience, and persistence. Depending what you are working on, you could see or feel results after one session, six weeks, six months, or three years; some shifts are big and external, but most are subtle and more internal because they are still ‘cooking’ so to speak.  Remember we are always evolving, and the acorn does not become the oak tree overnight!

Certain times of the year inspire more focus on change than others, whether organic or collectively agreed upon with, say, a Western calendar….The change of seasons and turning back of the clock is one of the many shifts we are now working with.

So no matter what time of year, before you go galloping into the future all willy-nilly, be s ure you are implementing the changes that you truly desire and are going in the best direction at this time in your life, or perhaps make a course correction. Either way, you want to harness that energy to make the most of the months ahead and if you need some help, give me a buzz – I’ll be the Horse Whisperer that will guide you to the clarity, balance and direction you need in any area of your life to make it the best it can be!

(*A version of today’s PGG was originally posted on January 28, 2014)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

The American poet and educator Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said “Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending.”

A marathon like the famous one NYC just held is a fantastic metaphor for life and how to accomplish what you want in it.  It begins with a commitment, after which you must prepare and discipline yourself with dedication and enthusiasm. You must travel lean – lighten your load of physical, mental and/or emotional baggage along the way.  There will be moments where you feel you can’t go on, but someone, even a complete stranger, will say or do something that will spur and cheer you on. You must have faith in yourself and know there is indeed light at the end of the tunnel.

I have a client who after being laid off from his corporate job realized he wanted to have his own business to be more in control his future.  With a deep belief in himself and a lot of trial and error, blood, sweat and tears, a year and a half later he is now a top national producer.  He keeps his eye on the prize, paces himself, and with stamina and persistence is able to get the job done (and continues to attend our weekly Thursdays at Three group to stay on track, stay balanced and gain support!).

Even with the uncertainty that it brings, he is infinitely happier than when he was working 9-5 with a steady paycheck.  Because he knew what he wanted, made the internal decision and took the necessary external steps, he now reaps the immediate and tangible results of his efforts.

Whether a tortoise or a hare, slow and steady generally wins the race, no matter how long it takes. As long as you start and finish it there is satisfaction because the journey is just as if not more significant than the goal. The important thing is not to compare yourself to others – because we are all at different places in this marathon called life; you need to know your own personal best in any area you are focusing on.

No one can run that race for you, but whether beginner or pro, give me a buzz and I’ll be a super-coach to get you to the finish line via the most direct and satisfying route, guiding, cheering and providing some motivational Gatorade every step of the way!

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on November 9, 2010)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON