I have a friend who is going through a major transition, trying to figure out what to do next, how to reconcile his past and secure his future; he has been doing a lot of soul searching lately and excavating his talents, skills and passions. While he was in the process of shedding that old skin, I suggested he let go of his action-oriented descriptions, telling him, “You need to decide who you want TO BE not what you want TO DO.”

I am always recommending that folks spend time in and learn from Nature because Nature just IS. When talking about patience and process, my favorite saying is, “The acorn does not become an oak tree overnight.” Also remember that an acorn has the inherent DNA to become an oak tree – it doesn’t question it. It just allows itself to unfold and grow as it should, but will look and feel different at every stage of the process.

Many of us have recently been confronted with doing things, working at jobs, being with people or having a particular attitude that may be good or bad, or we may or may not have enjoyed two, ten or fifteen years ago but still exist in our lives in some way that may no longer serve a purpose, if it ever did. It’s important to remember that as we evolve, we need to discern – just like those old clothes in the closet that you’ve outgrown or perhaps bought but never wore, or that simply don’t suit you anymore – who you were then is not who you are now, and adapt accordingly.  

I have witnessed the remarkable transformations my clients have made (click here for the story of my client Andrew). Because they commit to the process and then do the work, they are able to approach, interact and experience things in a vastly different way, and are stronger and wiser for the changes they have had to both endure and initiate.

Not quite sure if you’re an elm tree or an oak, or were one of those uprooted or lost during the storm? I can be the plutonium that powers your own personal time machine to let go of the past and go Back to the Future to dig around, make adjustments, and plant new seeds that will make the present moment the very best it can be!

(Today’s PGG was originally published November 2, 2010)

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CLICK HERE FOR MY 12th ANNIVERSARY COACHING SPECIAL -EXPIRES AUGUST 31st!

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

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In that famous scene from the movie about Joan Crawford, the renowned actress declares in a rage to her daughter Christina, “No wire hangers — ever!”

Hopefully you did not grow up with that kind of extreme abusive relationship, but it is not so farfetched to think that as an adult you might be treating yourself like Cinderella’s evil stepmother on steroids from time to time, subtly, overtly or subconsciously beating yourself up about the most trivial or significant things. Until we recognize and do something about it, we are often our own harshest critics when we need to be our most compassionate caregivers.

Do you speak nicely and are kind to yourself, especially in that tape that runs in your head? Do you take care of your body by eating healthy when you’re hungry, dressing appropriately for the weather, getting enough sleep, nursing yourself when sick, exercising, resting and playing on a regular basis? Do you allow yourself to express any emotion you are feeling — anger, sadness, frustration, joy, laughter — in an appropriate and timely manner? (Meaning, don’t walk around emotionally constipated!) And especially if you are a mother of young children, responsible for an aging parent, a teacher, healing professional or assumed the role of “official” caregiver, are you taking care of yourself as much as you take care of others?

Or perhaps on some level you operate like a neglected orphan, walking around searching outside yourself, doing anything for that feeling of warmth and nurturing (or a continuation of it if you did have it as a child). The bottom line is that we can’t rely on someone else — spouse, partner, boyfriend/girlfriends, parents- to provide this for us; as mature adults (which has nothing to do with age) we should strive to be emotionally, physically, financially, and intellectually self-sufficient, and most importantly, loving towards ourselves.

Whether or not you had a positive experience with whoever raised you, learn to nurture yourself as if you were your own precious child. When we are able to mother ourselves, it becomes a lot easier to give and receive love and compassion with those closest to us, and even with strangers. It doesn’t matter if you are ill, out of work, frustrated with a relationship or the state of the world — if we each commit to healing ourselves and take responsibility for our own well-being, we will begin to see positive change around us in big and small ways.

And to all the men out there, gender doesn’t matter — we each have a gentle feminine nature within us that we can call upon and develop, just like we also have a macho warrior spirit!

So tonight when you go to bed, tuck in that little girl or boy within you, maybe drink some tea, read a story and tell yourself you are sublimely cherished and grateful for all that you are, because as Lenny Kravitz’s Mama said “Your life is a gift” and “Love’s all that matters.”

(Today’s PGG was originally published March 12, 2013)

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CLICK HERE FOR MY 12th ANNIVERSARY COACHING SPECIAL

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over fifty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

Tomorrow, August 17th, marks my 12th anniversary as a professional coach! It’s crazy how time flies. And it’s a true honor and privilege to know so many of you have trusted me to provide guidance and support over the years, and incredibly rewarding to see how you have gotten unstuck and become more aligned and at peace with your work and life. This week’s PGG below shares a some of my personal story; I wrote about my very first client in a 10th Anniversary PGG “A Decade of Doing What I Do” here and you can read the journey and success story of one client in the PGG “Fruits of Our Labor” here.

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Many of you know my degree is in International Relations. Early on I was a passionate student of languages and cultures, and was bitten by the travel bug at age 12 after a trip to Spain, Portugal and Morocco with my grandmother. By senior year in high school I was studying Spanish, French and Italian (foregoing chemistry and physics…), and in college I took Mandarin Chinese, organized international student orientations, studied abroad…you get the picture.

My dream was to one day work for the UN, as my intention and mission in life was to contribute to world peace (I simply didn’t understand why people and countries couldn’t get along just because of race, religion or anything else), so that was a seemingly logical goal. Who grows up wanting to be a career/life coach? Like so many professions today, that didn’t even exist when I was a kid!  Ah, but the Universe has a funny way of working things out.

Once I discovered that being employed by the UN did not ultimately fit my skill set or desired environment, I set out to create my own international experiences – teaching middle and high school Spanish, working and traveling with an upscale educational tour operator, teaching Tourism Destination sand Cultures at NYU, and founding my own mini-version of the UN called The Women’s Mosaic, bringing together women from different cultures and backgrounds to learn from and be inspired by one another.

As a result of that creation, I got hooked into the UN, met several times and received praise from Kofi Annan, have attended many of its conferences (I still get verklempt when I am in the auditorium wearing an earpiece…), and before any of this, without consciously trying, ended up living in the very neighborhood where the UN headquarters is situated! So for my entire adult life I have been surrounded by diplomats and their missions, sharing my coffee shop, gym and grocery store with them 24/7.

Fast forward to more recently, as my interest and passion for personal growth, empowerment and healing along with my ability to relate to just about anyone, combined with x-ray vision, supersonic hearing, and broad knowledge base of industries, careers and other resources have combined to make me into this very interesting and profoundly effective person I will call a career/life coach for lack of a better title….and I have been helping people professionally in this capacity for over six years. [at the time of this August 2019 re-publishing; now it is exactly 12!]

Last week I had a big “ah-ha” moment after a Skype session with a new client in Hungary who had attended one of my talks while here on holiday. Although that was only my second international call, I realized just how diverse and, yes, global my clientele is! I have worked with well over a hundred from all backgrounds – whether foreign nationals visiting or working here temporarily, or folks who came to live here as children or adults. They hail from Macedonia, Italy, Puerto Rico, Mexico, New Zealand, Dominican Republic, China, Taiwan, Nigeria, Canada, Australia, El Salvador, Russia, Japan, Philippines, and Israel and they embody the many diverse ethnicities and religions found here – African-American, Haitian, Indian, Persian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Quaker, and so much more; many of my clients have accents, as English is their second or third language! So DUH, here I am using my degree in international relations yet once again, simply in another form. Pretty cool, huh?

I share all of this not just to illustrate how the thread of my interests and passions have run through everything I do, but also for this: My work with individuals only confirms my theories, thoughts and ideals about countries and humanity as a whole. The more I learn and observe intimately the intricacies of all these seemingly different folks’ journeys and backgrounds, the more I see the hard evidence of how we are all wired with the same desires, dreams, hopes and challenges. No matter what corner of the globe you are from we have far more in common than you can imagine.

Think you’re so special? You are. You have a uniqueness that you bring to this planet. But you are also made of the same stuff as that guy or gal across the ocean or sitting next to you on the subway. And because of things like technology and climate change, we are more interconnected than ever. So this week take a moment to expand your horizons: Who can you learn about, chat with or help in some way that is out of your normal sphere of influence? How can you Imagine your world for the better? What can you do to think globally but act locally?

Not sure how the micro in your life that will affect the macro? Give me a buzz and we’ll translate the language of your soul to see how it will weave into the tapestry of history and become that much needed piece of the peace puzzle we are all a part of, no matter who you are or where you come from.

(Today’s PGG was originally published September 25, 2013)

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CLICK HERE FOR MY 12th ANNIVERSARY COACHING SPECIAL

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over fifty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

The greatest gift you can give to the world is a healed life.~ Dr. Christiane Northrup

What is to give light must endure burning. ~ Viktor Frankl

Last month a white buffalo was born in Goshen, CT and its naming ceremony is taking place this week. This is a sacred and rare event in the Native American tradition, the significance of which varies in interpretation, but it’s auspicious nonetheless, and at the very least is yet another sign of the extraordinary times in which we live.

We’re at a point where we can no longer ignore the problems that on some level we’ve known all along we must address – whether climate change; the economy and our government; our physical, mental or emotional health; our relationships with ourselves, our family and our friends; or the gap between the fantasy of how we perceive our lives to be versus the reality of what they truly are. We must bring to light what is holding us back, stop living in denial or distraction, and take responsibility for our own happiness.

For many of us, our limitations are rooted in the infinite search for approval and the pain we feel when we don’t get it, especially from those closest to us. Our culture seems to have exploited this, whether you are singing in front of millions of people, walking on a red carpet, living in a literal or metaphoric glass house, or deemed worthy of receiving a rose from a bachelor or bachelorette – or more perversely, and often magnified by mental illness, strapping a bomb to yourself in a crowded area, becoming a despotic ruler or embodying a pseudo-character in a movie and committing mass murder, knowing the attention and infamy such an action will bring.

In this Time of the Season, who’s your daddy? Are you seeking approval from parents, friends, partners, bosses, the opposite sex, the same sex, Facebook likes, Twitter followers or the public at large? As comedienne Margaret Cho reminds us, we have to be ones that we want.  We cannot be defined by others so let’s get honest, let’s get real with ourselves. Because when we choose to avoid delving into the deepest parts of ourselves, we turn to indulging or over-indulging in unhealthy relationships, food, TV, work, the Internet, gossip and bullying, drugs, sex, alcohol, video games, gambling, movies and so many other things to numb us. Instead of masking whatever feelings may be lurking beneath the surface, we need walk through the fire; there are no shortcuts. And remember, if you can’t feel the bad, that means you can’t feel the good either!

We are the only ones who can give meaning to our own lives, and we are constantly reminded of just how brief that life can be. We must dig deep within our souls to find the stuff we are made of and the things we must release in order to move forward, to heal our lives. We need to discover and then liberate ourselves from who or what is owning us by making us feel validated. That process may be uncomfortable, and yes, even painful. But in allowing yourself to go there, we can then leave there once and for all. Our country and the world are depending on it.

Need a little help Digging in the Dirt to open up the places you got hurt? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the support you need to tear up those roots and replant the seeds of healthy self-esteem that bloom just for you. Should you by chance attract an admirer or two, that’s simply a byproduct of bringing your own special brand of beauty to a world that so desperately needs it…

(Today’s PGG was originally published July 24, 2012)

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CLICK HERE FOR MY 12th ANNIVERSARY COACHING SPECIAL

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over fifty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

Do you have the discipline to be a free spirit? ~ Gabrielle Roth

In the movie Silver Linings Playbook , main characters Pat and Tiffany are in training for a big dance competition that turns out to be much more than a fancy booty-shaking contest. A unique romantic dramedy, it’s a film that shows there is a fine line between sanity and insanity, acceptable versus unacceptable behavior, and shows the beauty of living life to the beat of your own drum.

In the movie The Sessions , Mark O’Brien is confined to an iron lung 20 hours a day, existing on a gurney, unable to move from the neck down, and yet he writes poetry, is a professional journalist and decides to hire a sex surrogate so he can experience the most human of experiences. We go along on his journey (based on a true story!) and find him to be one of the most alive, loving and liberated individuals to have ever lived, despite such extreme physical limitations.

And as seen in the movie Lincoln ,  our 16th president is clearly not your Average Joe. He was always thinking out of the box, using his quirky sense of humor to defuse or illuminate situations, and taking numerous risks throughout the most heart-wrenching circumstances our country has endured. He stretched the Constitution to its limit, working within an established framework while implementing his own interpretation and/or bending the rules based on his hard-earned wisdom, keen observations and superior judgment as unprecedented needs arose and critical decisions had to be made in order for progress to occur.

In the conscious movement class I take, we are told to “dance it your way” and have breaks of “free dance” where we boogie as we see fit; it’s not chaotic because there is an organized structure and unity contained within the flow as we come back together intermittently as a group throughout the hour. It’s a super-small class because for many people, when given the opportunity to move and think for themselves, even for just a few moments, it is a daunting and uncomfortable feeling; it’s an empowering exercise that requires more effort and less inhibition , and many simply don’t know what to do if they are not following the instructor. And that, my friends, is indicative of a larger problem, with implications reaching far beyond a gym studio.

Spielberg’s Lincoln asks: “ Can we choose to be born? Or are we fitted to the times we’re born into?” As citizens of the 21st century, we are certainly living in extraordinary times that will require us to become the fullest and most unique beings we are meant to be. We each have something that needs to be expressed, something that no other person on this planet – no one who has come before or will come after – can express. Right now we need new ways of looking at old problems and change old ways in order to deal with new problems, so it’s more important than ever for you to do your own thang, because there is no other way to generate inspiration and birth to innovation.

In any era it’s easy to get stuck in past habits and sucked into the zeitgeist of the day. Resist the urge to follow the herd, fight to honor yourself, think and speak your own thoughts, and begin to know yourself and create yourself anew every moment of every day – instead of getting swept up by social media, news, commercials, and even your peer groups, work and ethnic cultures or family and friends who are all, consciously or not, forces that can easily grab hold of your mind, body, spirit and/or bank account. Don’t let your physical characteristics, family roots or societal dictates squash all the rhythms inside you that might be quite different from what those outside influences might have you believe, say or do.

Not sure exactly what your groove thing is? Give me a buzz and I’ll get you started with some basic choreography and point you in the right direction, because ultimately  You Should Be Dancing your own steps throughout life, hopefully with a fun disco floor beneath your feet along the way!

Today’s PGG was originally published November 28, 2012)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

CLICK HERE FOR MY 12th ANNIVERSARY COACHING SPECIAL

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over fifty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List