Today is the 100 year anniversary of International Women’s Day *[2017 ref: Women’s March on Washington], so in honor of this occasion I’d like to give a special shout-out to all the men out there and encourage you to celebrate all the ways women make your lives better, acknowledge what you can learn from them, and get in touch with your feminine side with unabashed pride.

Dan Abrams just came out with a book called Man Down, a tome that provides extensive research proving that women are pretty much better at everything than men. Whether or not you believed that already, the key here is to remember that we are not in a Battle of the Sexes, but more that everyone, regardless of the gender you identify as or associate with, needs to demonstrate the best characteristics of both worlds.

You would probably agree that most men have a problem expressing emotion, long considered a “girlie” trait. The amazing coincidence is that as I am literally in the midst of writing this, I flip the channel and catch the end of Charlie Rose interviewing David Brooks about his new book The Social Animal. Charlie, who is clearly an exception to the rule, admits how important it is for people to have the “power to express yourself and have emotional intelligence.” David comments how he, and most men, struggle with this and how he admires Bruce Springsteen as someone who is a “manly working class guy who can be emotional in a respectable way.” (Thanks fellas for validating my post right as I type it!)

Most men will never know What It Feels Like For a Girl, so since International Women’s Day also falls on Mardi Gras this year, what better excuse is there to “dress” in metaphorical drag and try your womanlike alter ego on for size.  I don’t mean like a full-on Tootsie or Ms. Doubtfire, but more like the guys in I Love You, Man or The Boss in all his glory; allow yourself to be just a little more sensitive, intuitive, creative, and expressive of what it is you’re feeling.

Whether your birth announcement was pink or blue, we all need to balance our Mickey with our Minnie, so give me a buzz and I’ll show you the way to make the most of all of who you are, without having to shave your legs, put on a fake moustache or become like SNL’s Pat

*Today’s PGG was originally published on March 8, 2011

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

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Cheers to the 3 million+ women AND men who came out all over the world on Saturday to march for equality and justice for all.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace. ~ Jimi Hendrix

If you have been receiving PGGs for a while, worked with me individually or come to one of my group sessions, you know that I talk a lot about love. But the love that I talk about is not some airy-fairy, namby-pamby, hippie-dippy notion or one that has been misused, watered-down, misunderstood, or simply lost its meaning with lip service.

Real love is the real deal. As Mahatma Gandhi says “Love is the strongest force the world possesses, and yet it is the humblest imaginable.”  Fifty years ago we witnessed an era where our civil rights leaders and all those who were part of that struggle dug deep and called upon this force within themselves to withstand the immense opposition and cruelty they experienced on a daily basis in order to transform society as it existed at the time.

More recently we could not have had a more immediate, direct and tangible example of this phenomenon when one single woman, Antoinette Tuff, used it to save the lives of over 800 people, most of them children, from a lone, heavily loaded mentally ill gunman in Decatur, Georgia.  If you do not know the story, or haven’t seen this extraordinary woman talk about what happened, you must learn about her. (Google the numerous stories, or watch this interview and listen to the entire 911 call).

As humans we are all built from the same stuff.  Love doesn’t know race, sexual orientation or religion – if you are human you can love.  If you are human you respond to love.  As Antoinette and Michael Stipe say, Everybody Hurts sometimes. Everyone needs connection and affection. Compassion and empathy are palpable and are the best antidotes to fear and pain.

If you’ve seen me speak, you know I am always mentioning the fact that the root of the word for courage is Latin for ‘heart’.  Which means that  true bravery is about connecting to that part of yourself, knowing its innate power, and having faith in a force greater and wiser than yourself (or beyond your ego/brain).

So the next time you find yourself in a challenging situation or being attacked in some form, whether it be mental, emotional, or yes, sometimes even physical, instead of using violence to counteract violence, why not call upon the most powerful weapon at your disposal: L.O.V.E.

Need a little help harnessing the heft of your heart? Give me a buzz and I will show you how to give it a good work-out, because at the end of the day love like is a muscle – the more you use it, the stronger it will become – and who knows what miracles will occur in your life or the lives of others because of it!

(Today’s PGG was originally published on August 28, 2013)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over thirty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

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The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one. ~ J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

Most people don’t grow up. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is aging. ~ Maya Angelou

Growing up is hard, love. Otherwise everyone would do it. ~ Kim Harrison, Pale Demon

With the International Day of Peace, People’s Climate March, UN General Assembly, Clinton Global Initiative and Global Citizen Festival culminating this week, the spotlight has been on our responsibility as nations and citizens to take care of each other and this planet we inhabit.

But all too often it seems the remaining 51 weeks of the year we forget that we have any say or power or control over our lives and environment as we are lulled back into our daily routines –  Mother Nature has her way with us; radical terrorists and out-of-control law enforcement use violence in extreme ways to threaten us physically and psychologically both here and abroad; our government legislates what we should eat, think, and do with our bodies; and corporations use advertising, lobbying and Hollywood to tell us who we are, what we should buy, believe in, and vote for, and what we should or should not be doing with our time, money and energy.

And in our private lives, we tend to rely on others – whether your parents, spouses and partners, friends, doctors, teachers, bosses, news outlets and conventional wisdom – more than we should, and we are more overwhelmed and distracted than ever by digital media via accompanying gadgets/appendages. As a result, we forget we can have a unique opinion, make more conscious decisions that go against the grain, and above all think for ourselves rather than just absorb and digest (literally and metaphorically) what is being offered, served or shoved down our throats.

When you’re a child we generally have no choice or don’t know better and have to accept the status quo of whatever adults around us say goes, but as you get older it’s time to check in and ask yourself: Who’s Your Daddy now?

Relationships are the glue that hold the world together and give meaning to our lives; they include our relationship to ourselves, each other, our country, the Earth and the Universe/God/Higher Power/ Nature.  But when we allow a relationship to anyone or anything outside ourselves to be the ultimate authority over us – whether with a parent, child, friend, the government, social media or zeitgeist – we are giving up our individual power to control our destiny and prevent ourselves from emotionally maturing. These are the types of unhealthy dependent relationships, rather than healthy interdependent ones, which are causing our planet to fall apart.

Growing up means taking responsibility for every aspect of your life. Many of us prefer to remain in a half-baked adulthood that never really evolves to its full potential because we are too busy or distracted to see who is really in control – and because it’s easier to pop a pill or let someone else take care of it. But it requires courage, elbow grease, and internal effort every step of the way to be who we are truly meant to be.

We all have to do our part to take ownership of our environment, health, and happiness in mind, body and spirit. No one else can do this for you. By becoming stronger in who you are, you can then use your full power and potential to help those who cannot yet help themselves, and create structures and systems from microcosm to macrocosm that will support a sustainable and peaceful life, no matter who you are or where you are from.

Still feeling like a Toys R Us kid?  Give me a buzz and I’ll help you mature into a full-fledged self-mama or self-poppa (without losing that essential childlike sense of play!) so that we can create a global village of audacious authentic adults.  

(Today’s PGG was originally published on September 24, 2015)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

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I recently received in my actual (not email) mailbox a beautiful Thank You card with a handwritten note from a lovely young man who had attended several of my talks, some of the contents of which I excerpt here:

First off, I’d like to say thank you for the work you do and the value you provide. You are as genuine and authentic as it gets and that is very refreshing especially nowadays. …. Keep doing what you’re doing. The world needs more people like you!

As many of you know, it’s been a journey for me to be able to stand in front of a room of people to share my ideas regarding work and life.  I’m an introvert by nature who used to be and at times still is quite shy. I would get stiff necks and have coughing fits prior to presentations. I am much more a behind the scenes kind of gal; my comfort zone and where I excel is working with people one on one.  I utter tons of “umms, you knows, sort of, likes” etc., use more hand gestures than your old Italian uncle, don’t know how to or use power point, tend to ramble or go off on tangents, and the words I am looking for often escape me.

But I had something to say, which overruled any trepidation or limitations I thought I had about public speaking, and the feedback I always received was positive regardless how I thought I did, so I kept doing it.  My passion for what I wanted to communicate was stronger than any fear I had about the technical aspects of how I was communicating it; ironically it turns out how I communicated was what people liked most and responded to in a positive way!

In January 2010 I was frustrated with all the New Year’s messaging out there and felt compelled to say something. I also needed a newsletter for my at the time two and a half year-old coaching business, so I thought, why not combine the two?

Didn’t know what I was doing. Barely had a website. Don’t really read. Am slightly dyslexic. Terrible at grammar. Have limited vocabulary/not a wordsmith or was even someone who appreciates words or writers or like I said, reads books.

But I just put it out there. And people liked it. The feedback was encouragingly good. Who knew I was a …writer? (Still have a hard time calling myself one). I committed to writing every week (each PGG taking 8-12 hours to complete) which I did for two years straight, until I realized I could re-run some of them (duh). The writing and design improved, I found my voice and continued receiving positive feedback. I enjoyed getting into the groove of their creation and consider them my art.

So 7 years and 150+ original essays and a published book later, here I am. Apparently there was this whole other part of me that needed to be born, and I allowed it to be.

In response to my year-end request for feedback on my PGGs, I found a generous and thoughtful Amazon review of the book posted on January 2nd (thanks to whoever wrote it!), a portion of which I quote here:

It’s very different than others, but Kristina’s method really builds up a strong foundation in an individual by first solving the deep issues then growing from there…..Kristina is really unique and I’m very grateful she’s out there.

My point in sharing all this with you for some inspiration as we head into a New Year is twofold:

1. DO YOU. If you’re inspired or want to do something, don’t think you have to know exactly what you’re doing or need to make it “perfect” or do it like anyone else. Express yourself in your own way –  you never know where it will lead or who you might be helping as a result. Don’t be afraid of the unknown and allow yourself to unfold naturally. You will grow and surprise yourself, no doubt.

2. Never, ever, underestimate the power and impact of letting someone know how their work, their assistance, their understanding, their EXISTENCE has impacted you in a positive way.  You can’t possibly imagine how the expression of appreciation – the more personal the better, in the simplest of sentiments or grandest of gestures – can make or break someone’s day, life, journey; how that can encourage them to keep on keepin’ on even when things get tough, so that they can be who they are and do what they do, and impact even more people in a positive way. And we need positive impact more than ever.

We are entering an era where you will more urgently be required to express your highest and best potential, to be who you are and do the thing you are meant to do, and above all, to be as human as possible and to acknowledge the beauty and spirit of each others’ existence as graciously and as often as possible.  We must remember who we are to ourselves, and to each other.

Not sure how you can express the creativity and passion within you? Give me a buzz and I’ll help you to trust that a 5-star review starts with the courage to take a groovy walk down whatever path is right for you, accompanied by a little funk a long the way.

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over thirty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List
 

Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours