Whenever the fourth Thursday in November rolls around, we are meant to reflect on all the blessings in our lives. Traditionally that would imply appreciating all that is good or positive and bring us joy and happiness or that we could not live without.

While that is certainly warranted, why not also be grateful for the funky, not-so-positive, annoying and pain-in-the-you-know- where stuff as well: the people, things and situations that challenge us, push our buttons or make us feel uncomfortable.

There is a saying that “There are no problems, only opportunities.” Our crises and difficulties are chances for us to test our mettle, see what we’re made of, and to become stronger and wiser for it. They are occasions for us to make course corrections, adjustments, tune-ups and put ourselves back in balance or on track, or perhaps a different, better track. If things went great all the time you wouldn’t have to dig deep, really look at yourself, search within for answers, find new creative ways of doing things.

Innovation is problem solving at its most basic level  (just watch those Dyson commercials), so where would we be without all the problems we’ve had? Whether unemployed, having a health crisis or trouble in your personal or professional relationships, take a step back and see what is the Universe trying to show/teach you?  Remember those carbon atoms wouldn’t become diamonds without extreme high pressure and heat.

So this year, be thankful not only for the bird that you are about to eat (or tofurkey if that is more your style) but for all those ‘turkeys’ in your life: those folks and circumstances that have given you stress and grief but allowed you to go through and overcome whatever you needed to in order to grow and become the person that you are today.

And if you need a little help seeing how the cr*p in your life is really cool, give me a buzz and we’ll figure out what should be basted and tasted, and what is simply a little fat that needs to be trimmed.

Wishing you and your family a very Happy Thanksgiving!  I am very grateful to all my readers and clients for allowing me to express myself and do work that I love! 🙂

(Today’s PGG has been posted every Thanksgiving week since November 2010) 

Where the myth fails, human love begins. Then we love a human being, not our dream, a human being with flaws.  ~ Anais Nin

Relationships are the area of life we are most often challenged in, even if we excel at everything else. Because when it comes to finding and keeping mate, it’s a jungle out there. Having realistic expectations of what we want and how to go about getting it is the key to navigating that often hostile and confusing environment.

The jungle image conjures up wild, primitive peoples, virgin (no pun intended) territories, poisonous plants and camouflaged predators. But the reality is that it can also contain a myriad of medicinal cures and infinite beauty and diversity – a place of healing, discovery and wonder.

Just like the mighty forest of the Amazon, we each contain secrets and gems within us….it might first take wielding a machete to clear away the brush before getting to a place where you can see the light of day, and your partner in that light.  It takes work – honest communication and emotional elbow grease – to get to that place where you are totally naked, totally nude to just be, without the distractions, bells and whistles or ability to hide in the denseness of all that surrounds you.  That is the place where relationships must exist; all the rest is just gravy.

If and when you get to that stripped down place and can’t embrace yourself it will be much harder for your partner to. But if you have already uncovered and unearthed all your hidden and not so nice parts, and love and accept them unconditionally while trying to improve, then you can enter into a relationship truly whole and ready to give to another in the same way.

So whether you are traveling solo, have a ‘plus one’ right now, or not quite sure what your status is on this expedition called life, give me a buzz and I will help lead you out of the heart of darkness and into the bright city lights!

(The original version of this post was published on October 19, 2010)

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I always like to remind folks who attend my talks that we are living in extraordinary times. Now more than ever we need to listen to our hearts and march to the beat of our own drum. Yet we are not solo performers on this stage – but more like a duo, with Universe as our partner, in what I like to think of life as the dance of life. There is ebb and flow, push and pull, reap and sow.

In our technologically advanced, left-brain evolved world, we think we can do more and know all the answers in making things happen for ourselves. But the truth is that we are only half the equation – the Universe, with its great unknown, unseen power, process and nature – is the other half.

There is a sublime order to things in our world if we only allow ourselves to honor it, regardless of how long our journey takes or what form or shape the fruit of it bears; the Universe always knows better than our little pea brains. There is a method to its seeming madness and oft lengthy timeline, but the more we resist its infinite wisdom, the more we suffer, the more mess is made, the more there is to clean up and the longer it can take to get back on track.

Instead, we must learn to go with the flow – not in a loosey-goosey kind of way – but with faith and confidence, like when a farmer plants his seeds, in knowing that the sun will rise tomorrow and that what comes up must come down.

Any artist, dancer, musician or athlete understands that practice and technique will only get you so far – at some point you have to let go and allow the Universe do its thing. In other words, no matter what you are working towards – getting a new job, growing a business, reaching health goals or improving relationships – you need to simply “Do your best and surrender the rest.”

If you haven’t seen the external results you desire, take a moment to slow down and reflect – if you’ve paid attention you’ll notice you’ve been undergoing some major inner reconstructing, re-arranging of molecules and experiencing a deep emotional and mental detox encouraging you to let go of the past in order to move forward into the future; this too is part of the dance. Sound familiar? If not, and you’ve been feeling blocked at every turn, ignoring the call to do this type internal work is probably to blame, and is easy to correct.

The beauty of dancing with the big U. is that that once you get in sync with it, things actually get in sync with you, and stuff starts to happen, as I always say, “in time and on time”, and often more miraculously than you could have ever imagined.

Not sure of what steps to take next or feeling like you wanna rock right now? It Takes Two to make a thing go right, so give me a buzz and I will help you make it outta sight!

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With the current release of films like Lincoln and Django Unchained, and BET’s bringing the acclaimed ’70’s TV series Roots out of the vault, there’s been a spotlight on and discussion about this essential part of our nation’s history both on screen and off.

Whether or not you are a direct descendant of someone who lived or worked on a plantation in the 19th century, all of us in the 21st century, no matter who or where we came from, can check in to see which areas of our lives need to be emancipated from the tyranny of whatever is keeping us down, holding us back and making us feel ‘less-than’ in both subtle and overt ways.

Oprah expressed it perfectly when she called slavery “A machine to create inferiority.”  You can only imagine what amazing strength, utter self-belief and profound self-worth was required to break out of that mentality, to really know who you are and be able to simply exist, let alone thrive, despite others perceiving you, and often treating you in, well, let’s just say a most unfavorable way. What it would take to preserve and protect your self, your spirit and your soul under such circumstances is beyond comprehension.

We certainly continue to struggle with the legacy and repercussions of slavery in terms of race on a daily basis in a variety of ways, while at the same time have come very far. But regardless of the color of our skin, there are more inconspicuous ways that we are judged by others, much of which has to do with what we think of ourselves when we look in the mirror, are alone with our thoughts and by the choices we make in every area of our lives.

The foundation of who we are reaches far and wide throughout our work, relationships, health and everyday life so the stronger and deeper your tree grows, the more you can weather even a storm like Sandy. Yes, you might lose a few branches along the way, but you won’t be knocked out for good! So take some time this month to connect to the root of who you are, using this last part of winter to develop, heal and love yourself so you can blossom more fully come Spring.

You might have some family roots to dig up or some grass roots to build up in the process, but the bottom line is that if you look at any problem, challenge or change you want to make and trace it back to it’s ultimate root, if you’re honest with yourself, will find that the buck stops with you. Remember, this is always good news – because that means you can do something about it.

Having a little trouble connecting all the genealogical dots of your career and/or life? Give me a buzz and I will get to the root the matter, so just like Alex and Kunta in Africa, we can find you!

*Today’s PGG was originally posted on February 6, 2013

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