Where the myth fails, human love begins. Then we love a human being, not our dream, a human being with flaws.  ~ Anais Nin

Relationships are the area of life we are most often challenged in, even if we excel at everything else. Because when it comes to finding and keeping mate, it’s a jungle out there. Having realistic expectations of what we want and how to go about getting it is the key to navigating that often hostile and confusing environment.

The jungle image conjures up wild, primitive peoples, virgin (no pun intended) territories, poisonous plants and camouflaged predators. But the reality is that it can also contain a myriad of medicinal cures and infinite beauty and diversity – a place of healing, discovery and wonder.

Just like the mighty forest of the Amazon, we each contain secrets and gems within us….it might first take wielding a machete to clear away the brush before getting to a place where you can see the light of day, and your partner in that light.  It takes work – honest communication and emotional elbow grease – to get to that place where you are totally naked, totally nude to just be, without the distractions, bells and whistles or ability to hide in the denseness of all that surrounds you.  That is the place where relationships must exist; all the rest is just gravy.

If and when you get to that stripped down place and can’t embrace yourself it will be much harder for your partner to. But if you have already uncovered and unearthed all your hidden and not so nice parts, and love and accept them unconditionally while trying to improve, then you can enter into a relationship truly whole and ready to give to another in the same way.

So whether you are traveling solo, have a ‘plus one’ right now, or not quite sure what your status is on this expedition called life, give me a buzz and I will help lead you out of the heart of darkness and into the bright city lights!

(The original version of this post was published on October 19, 2010)

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