Archives for the month of: October, 2015

With Halloween approaching, we are bombarded with spooky images and haunted houses to remind us it’s that time of year to face our deepest fears. But the majority of things that frightens us isn’t conjured from external forces. Like the creepiness that comes from being in a house of mirrors, what usually freaks people out the most is seeing themselves multiplied a hundred times!

When in your own personal house of horrors, no matter how many cobwebs and shadows you find, know that we all have darker aspects of our personality, and we’re never confronted with anything we can’t handle, so we should never be afraid. Whether your fears and ugly parts are real or imagined, the key is not to run from them. The only thing to do is to shed light on the source of our anxieties and perceived inadequacies, get to their roots and make adjustments that will bring us closer to the most fulfilled and peaceful versions of ourselves.

And like the end of a scary movie, it comes down to you and only you to fight for your life.  There is no magic formula or genie in a bottle, no Calgon or knight in shining armor to take you away. Taking responsibility for your life centers you in who you are and what you want – fantasy and illusion, or simply ignoring things, move you farther away. It’s up to you to create your own happiness and what you want in your life, and ask for help along the way.

So if you need to do a little exorcising of your inner ghouls and goblins, who ya gonna call?  Like Ghostbusters or those meddling kids in Scooby-Doo, I will expose and expel the real cause of your heebie-jeebies and things that go bump in the night so you can move forward and make the changes you need to be all of who you are in the bright light of day!

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on October 26, 2010)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
Like me on Facebook  Follow me on Twitter

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

Advertisements

In that famous scene from the movie about Joan Crawford, the renowned actress declares in a rage to her daughter Christina,” No wire hangers – ever

Hopefully you did not grow up with that kind of extreme abusive relationship, but it is not so farfetched to think that as an adult you might be treating yourself like Cinderella’s evil stepmother on steroids from time to time, subtly, overtly or subconsciously beating yourself up about the most trivial or significant things. Until we recognize and do something about it, we are often our own harshest critics when we need to be our most compassionate caregivers

Do you speak nicely and are kind to yourself, especially in that tape that runs in your head? Do you take care of your body by eating healthy when you’re hungry, dressing appropriately for the weather, getting enough sleep, nursing yourself when sick, exercising, resting and playing on a regular basis? Do you allow yourself to express any emotion you are feeling – anger, sadness, frustration, joy, laughter – in an appropriate and timely manner? (Meaning, don’t walk around emotionally constipated!) And especially if you are a mother of young children, responsible for an aging parent, a teacher, healing professional or assumed the role of ‘official’ caregiver, are you taking care of yourself as much as you take care of others?

Or perhaps on some level you operate like a neglected ‘orphan’, walking around searching outside yourself, doing anything for that feeling of warmth and nurturing (or a continuation of it if you did have it as a child). The bottom line is that we can’t rely on someone else – spouse, partner, boyfriend/girlfriends, parents- to provide this for us; as mature adults (which has nothing to do with age) we should strive to be emotionally, physically, financially, and intellectually self-sufficient, and most importantly, loving towards ourselves.

Whether or not you had a positive experience with whoever raised you, learn to nurture yourself as if you were your own precious child. When we are able to mother ourselves, it becomes a lot easier to give and receive love and compassion with those closest to us, and even with strangers. It doesn’t matter if you are ill, out of work, frustrated with a relationship or the state of the world – if we each commit to healing ourselves and take responsibility for our own well-being, we will begin to see positive change around us in big and small ways.

And to all the men out there, gender doesn’t matter – we each have a gentle feminine nature within us that we can call upon and develop, just like we also have a macho warrior spirit!

So tonight when you go to bed, tuck in that little girl or boy within you, maybe drink some tea, read a story and tell yourself you are sublimely cherished and grateful for all that you are, because as Lenny Kravitz’s Mama said  “Your life is a gift” and “Love’s all that matters.”

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on March 12, 2013)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
Like me on Facebook  Follow me on Twitter

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

 

Tell me what’s wrong with having a little faith in what you’re feelin’ in your heart.  – The Dixie Chicks (via Patty Griffin)

I try not to think as much as possible. This serves me well for many reasons. First of all, I am somewhat dyslexic, so the more I stay out of my head, the clearer things are for me. And forget about speaking; whenever I do my seminars what I say has to come from my heart and gut, otherwise I would get super-confused and choke from stage fright and the fear of sounding stupid. I have learned to operate this way more and more; it reduces stress by keeping me connected to myself and in the flow of life, in harmony with who I am and what I need or want at any given moment. It is the best motivational, decision-making and communications tool I possess, because I have harnessed and developed it as such.

In the movie Jerry Maguire, Tom Cruise confronts Cuba Gooding, Jr . about why he has not yet been offered a $10 million dollar contract, citing that the way he is off the field is how he needs to be on the field. “You play with your head, not your heart. in your personal life? Heart….Play the game, play it from your heart and you know what, I will show you the kwan. That’s the truth man, can you handle it?Jerry knew that if Rod did what he loved with love, then, and only then, would he be able to show him the money.

And that doesn’t just hold true in the movies. Steve Tisch, a proud owner of the NY Giants, declared that the key to their big victory this past weekend was that they ” …played with more heart, more passion, and more love for each other and for the game of football.” Does that negate, replace, or even diminish all the hard work, training, strategy, talent and skill necessary to achieve such great heights? No, of course not. But it’s the thing that will make the difference between a good team and a great team, a good life and a great one.

Most of us are taught to live by our heads, logic and ego, not by our hearts and guts. But only when we listen to our hearts and put love into everything are we our most authentic selves, which means living our truth. And when we are living our truth, we can then more easily speak our truth, and stand in our truth. And that is the best way to guarantee peace and prosperity in our lives, no matter what the circumstances.

Million dollar contract, Lombardi Trophy or not, we are all players the Super Bowl of Life – so are you playing with your head or your heart?  Give me a buzz and I’ll make sure that unlike Tom Cruise in his confrontation with Jack Nicholson , you can indeed handle the truth and start living in alignment with who you are and what you want to make happen both on the field and off!

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on February 7, 2012)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
Like me on Facebook  Follow me on Twitter

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

 

grace lee boggs
In memory of
Grace Lee Boggs

June 27, 1915 – October 5, 2015
(Originally posted December 11, 2013)
One of the things I learned when I was negotiating was that until I changed myself, I could not change others .~ Nelson Mandela

Revolution is the evolution of humans into a higher humanity . ~ Grace Lee Boggs
 
Those of you who know me or have been reading PGG for a while are aware that my passion and mission in life has always been to contribute to world peace, mostly through my work best expressed in my mantra that personal transformation is the key to social transformation.

So it should come as no surprise that I profoundly relate to and revere the lives of these two nonagenarians, Nelson Mandela who died last week at age 95, and the 98-year-old activist and author Grace Lee Boggs.  They literally embody this philosophy in every cell of their beings; they have demonstrated it externally with their activism and sacrifice for racial equality and social justice, and internally by the wisdom they have gained and generously share from nearly a century of experience, observation, and, most importantly, reflection.

Both started out as ‘radicals’, and were branded as terrorists with the requisite FBI/CIA files (Mandela was even on the US terrorism watch list until 2008!) because they initially saw the only way to overthrow the entrenched power structure was by employing the more literal and sometimes violent tactics of revolution through organized movements and a spirit of rebellion. But through trial and error, incarceration, and maturity, they eventually evolved; they gave themselves permission to change their minds, learn and grow in light of new information, experimentation and once again, reflection – ultimately coming to the conclusion that in order to change the world, they would have to change themselves.

They came to understand that indeed humanity is made up of humans and that humans were going to have to deal with other humans in order to get anything done. So we’d better be the best we can be as individuals and try to get along and get past our differences and disagreements, because the reality is that we must co-exist harmoniously – whether in a racially divided African country, a rundown bankrupt American city, or in your very own household.
We are living in extraordinary times, and it is no accident that you are who you are at this moment in history.

What does your humanity mean to you?  As our world continues to go through turbulent changes and upheavals, it will be up to us individually and collectively to do our part to ‘tear down’ where necessary and rebuild a more enlightened society that reflects our evolved humanity.  But we have to start with ourselves and do what we can in our immediate environments to demonstrate our own revolution – which, by the way, does not happen overnight or with a magic pill, silver bullet, or special app.

Only through keen observation, deep reflection, and inner and outer sweating effort and energy over a long period of time directed towards improving ourselves and serving others that true transformation can take place. Then, if we’re lucky, by the time we reach our 90’s we can look back and see how our journey has positively and productively unfolded in both a personal and political way, and be proud of what we accomplished and the legacy we will leave behind.

Wondering how it will all go down if you take up the cause? Give me a buzz and I will incite a riot in your heart to make the most of what you got, so at the end of the day you know it’s gonna be alright!
***************************************

I am so grateful to have learned about and met Grace Lee Boggs just two years ago.  She passed away yesterday at the age of 100. Everyone should experience her wisdom and humanity so be sure  check out the documentary or watch the many videos of her that can be found online. She is a national treasure who will be greatly missed, but whose legacy will live on in all the lives she touched.
me and grace lee boggs

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
Like me on Facebook  Follow me on Twitter

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

I am neither Christian, nor Jewish, nor Muslim
I am not of the East, nor of the West…
I have put duality away, I have seen the two worlds as one;
One I seek, One I know, One I see, One I call
~ Rumi

One love, one heart. Let’s get together and feel alright. ~ Bob Marley

Two weeks ago I wrote in my PGG The Right Stuff about The Overview Effect, when astronauts gain a unique vantage point as they look back on the Earth from outer space.  Because of the largely visible total eclipse of the moon this past Sunday, we were fortunate to have the opposite experience –  a momentarily unified humanity from all over the planet looking up at a single celestial body – an event that was observed from more places and had more PR than any other in recent times thanks to social media – and therefore a live audience of millions all gathering to see a purely Universe-made happening.

Interesting timing, that Universe, having this somewhat rare phenomenon occur right on the heels and in the midst of major gatherings in the US over the past week or so, as New York City hosted nearly every world leader and thousands of visitors due to various occasions combined, making for some pretty intense energy and having an elevated focus on topics with substance and meaning –  something other than obnoxious politicians with or without bad hair, voluptuous vapid sisters with big lips and booties, or hypocritical extremists trying to take over governments both here and abroad.

As is the nature of these things, there is a lot of talk, but far too often the words are not backed up with actions, nor the integrity to follow-through or practice what is preached. Corporate and world leaders make promises to play nice, do good business and shake hands for the camera, the Pope pontificates about peace, justice and charity; the NGO’s sincerely say they want to change the world by eradicating poverty, empowering women and girls and protecting the environment. There are lots of demonstrations made, goals declared and agreements reached.

One could easily become cynical, as many of the world’s problems persist and get rehashed in a recycled historical loop with the same players in different clothes. And this year the particularly high high of this past weekend came crashing down like a bad hangover just days later with the harsh reality and news of scandals, secret meetings and airstrikes.  What were we thinking?! How could we be so naive to think that anything would change?

Ever the optimist, I beg to differ. This time something did shift, something did in fact reveal itself – and it wasn’t the people doing the talking, but within the ones, all of us, who were listening.

If you watched speeches from the likes of Malala, Obama or Mandela (with Eddie and Beyonce!), you might certainly have been inspired, but it was that elderly man in the white garb and black Fiat who captivated our country and dominated the air waves every day last week, who provided what seems like a huge drink of water in a desert of doom. 

No matter your religious background – practicing or not, believer or non – journalists and jokers alike couldn’t help but find it refreshing to witness such continuously positive messages across so broad and diverse audiences and media outlets over several days. They were a potent antidote to the usual, and especially recent, vitriol, hate, gossip and intolerance broadcast as news, and the increasing violence, betrayal and revenge we are offered and consume as entertainment.  The quench of thirst was palpable on many levels.

As someone who is hyper-conscious and aware of this need in society, it was profoundly encouraging and affirming that people from all walks of life were responding as they were to his words and actions, strategically staged or not.  It just proved once again how much we are deprived of and yearning for connection, compassion, and hope, And whether or not you believe he is genuine and authentic, the superficial display had enough power to wake up so many who didn’t even know what they were missing and so desperately seeking.

Remember what themes spoke to you last week, what you and everyone around you innately responded to and was stimulated and stirred within: kindness, inclusion, healing, empathy.  As the days go by, don’t have amnesia and instead notice the contrast when you look at new shows with titles such as Blood & Oil, The Bastard Executioner, Scream Queens, and lest you forget again: Blindspot.

SO, back to that eclipse. Did I mention what made it even more special was its reddish hue? Curious dontcha think since it’s the color most often associated with, and the essence of what we all crave for: LOVE 

Looking for more than just a glimpse of goodness? Like the clouds here in the northeast that were playing peek-a-boo with La Luna, and cameras that couldn’t quite catch its full beauty and magic, perhaps that’s the lesson – to hold these fleeting moments, these unusual and unlikely spectacles where they belong; in our minds, and more importantly in our hearts as we move forward, knowing we don’t need to look outside ourselves to people or institutions to find what we are looking for.

We can be the leaders in our own lives and choose “the better angels of our nature” to create the world we want in our own sphere of influence, so give me a buzz, and I’ll help you come out of the shadows and form your Global Goals for 2030 and beyond!

Click here for a pretty version of this PGG

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
Like me on Facebook  Follow me on Twitter

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

%d bloggers like this: