Archives for the month of: March, 2014

I recently attended the screening of a very cool documentary called Connected.  An ambitious undertaking, filmmaker Tiffany Shlain has presented some interesting ideas and factoids in a unique visual way about the history of who we are and the connections we have to each other from the past, present and where we might be headed in the future.

One of the best tidbits I learned was that if you hug someone for six seconds or more, a dose of the feel-good hormone oxytocin is released.

Many of you who have worked with me individually, in a group or have talked to me after one of my workshops or seminars know that I’m a big hugger.  In addition to hugging my clients and audience members, I tend to hug strangers after a meaningful conversation, and even in more professional situations, say after a meeting, which may or may not be kosher, but I can’t help it; I often randomly hug friends, family members and co-workers because I somehow sense they need one, and I will occasionally request one myself (especially from a super-good hugger, like my bro!)

Why? I actually never thought about it.  It’s just always been a natural extension of who I am, the work I do and my love of people in general.  If I had to intellectualize it, perhaps it’s about sealing an interaction in a “Yes, I see and hear you, you see and hear me, and we can show mutual love, respect and care for each other as human beings in the most tangible way.”

And let’s face it, who couldn’t use a hug now and then?  We should be able to give and receive hugs freely, but for those of you who need to justify your request, there’s a scientific explanation, because hey, who wouldn’t want to get a little shot of some naturally feel-good feelings?!  So forget about the economy and the internet, because the true currency of connection is the HUG, and the good news is that it’s available worldwide and abundant in infinite amounts.

Feeling a little stressed or simply need a boost to brighten your day?  Instead of reaching for that Twix bar or beer, have no fear, don’t you pout just say hello and hug it out!  

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on September 27, 2011)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today!

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Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly. ~ Unknown

One of my current clients has done a tremendous amount of work in a very short time – she has had major revelations in noticing past patterns, stripped away unhealthy relationships and is beginning to tap into who she really is, not who she became to please everyone else.  It takes an immense amount of effort to do this.

For the caterpillar, transformation literally means disintegrating its old form to become ‘goop’ while protected in the cocoon prior to emerging as a butterfly.  You can imagine the energy required to do so, and it can’t be very comfortable being formless and not able to see much, if you can see at all – it’s not easy being goop!

Conscious or not of its eventual destiny, the old self, having served its purpose, is dying a type of death and there is natural grieving process that occurs. In consoling my client about letting go of her past, I mentioned how Cher had a hard time because intellectually she had grasped what was happening, but she became very upset when she realized the voice of her child was changing, as her daughter was now becoming a son. And although the person that she gave birth to was very much still there, she was losing Chastity in order to welcome Chaz.

Chaz Bono, and anyone who is transgender, has to deal with perhaps the most extreme of identity issues.  The amount of courage  it takes to make such a transition, especially in the public eye, is truly inspiring. Not only did he have to know and be comfortable enough with himself to make such a seemingly drastic decision, but to then be able to articulate so graciously and effectively how and why he needed to do what he did is a lesson for us all in ultimate self-awareness and love. 

No matter how you identify yourself, Chaz’s story is an important and powerful one, as we all go through various forms of transformation throughout our lives -some more internal and others more external -in order to evolve into the best and fullest versions of our own humanity. His experience teaches us to be true to ourselves, accept and honor all of who we are, and trust that those who sincerely care for us will do so as well, even if it does take some time to adjust.  He is more content in his new body and his new life than he has ever been; the more of us who get to that place, the better off we all are.

Whether you want to find your voice, be more comfortable in your body, or express more of your Sal or Sally, I can be a mirror and guide for you in the process, peeling back the layers and providing a cocoon of support and space for you to go from goop to glorious, like a Butterfly!

(Today’s PGG was originally published on May 17,2011)

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While making a purchase last week I must have been subconsciously but overtly enjoying Pharrell Williams’ snappy tune which was playing on the store’s sound system. The cashier, a young gal probably not more than 21, asked me “Why do all adults love this song?”

Ahhh, youth. First off, I needed to comprehend the fact that I was one of those ‘adults’ she was referring to, which took me a minute because I think I’m 25…She continued, “Yeah, my mom and aunts and all their friends get into it whenever it comes on.”

The uplifting, catchy anthem could not have been released at a better time, after one of the harshest winters on record and accompanying the spring forward of our clocks signaling the imminent arrival of brighter days and warmer weather.

But I think the real gift is its simplicity; its airy, carefree, innocent vibe and powerful lyrics. It cuts through all the heavy stuff we deal with and are responsible for and asks our inner child to dance a little inside and out. Because let’s face it, we all need a break from the war mongering, negative TV shows/movies/video games, political bickering, and multitude of challenges modern life presents us ‘adults’ with on a daily basis – even if it’s for 4:07 minutes.

A friend of my mom’s who I’ve known over 25 years, saw me recently and with a very perplexed look and completely serious tone asked, “When are you going to start aging?” 

I just chuckled. I suppose good genes and moisturizer play a part, but I really attribute it to my frame of mind and lifestyle – I have learned to take care of myself physically and spiritually, and have the tools and discipline to manage my stress (trust me, there is plenty!). I honor and process my emotions, think positive thoughts, and do my best to live in the present and go with the flow, listening to my deepest self and paying attention to the world around me. I operate from my heart (and gut) not my head and value quality over quantity in relationships.

I realize that I am on a journey and as long as I’m learning and growing and being of service, I am doing something right.  I am creative and know how to relax. I’m a practical idealist. I laugh often and cry just as much, if not more. I love. I am committed to being as authentic, balanced and centered as I can be, knowing I’m not ‘perfect’ and that’s okay; I take one day at a time and understand that every problem is an opportunity in disguise, as hard as that might seem to believe in the moment. I am grateful. And lastly, I shake my booty to groovy tunes as much as possible.  So yes, I choose to be Happy, because happiness is the truth – and one of the keys to youth.

Need a little help figuring out what happiness is to you? Give me a buzz and I’ll have you clapping along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do and make it so can’t nothin’ gonna bring you down! Yeah.

(Click here for a fancy version of this PGG post with a fun picture of Grumpy Cat in Pharrell’s hat)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today!

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When things aren’t quite going your way, it’s easy to fall into the grass is always greener syndrome. But as the saying goes, before you judge a man (or covet his life), walk a mile in his shoes.

You don’t have to turn back the clock , eat a magical fortune cookie, ride in a souped up DeLorean or relieve yourself in an enchanted fountain to discover your life and relationships are exactly as they should be, or get the kick in the butt to make them better.

The fact is our lives are the sum total of all the choices we’ve ever made up until this point – a combination unique unto ourselves, which means we have created the situation that on some level we’ve wanted or needed in order to learn and grow on this journey called life.

So whatever your state of affairs, take full responsibility for it. The good news is that if you don’t like it,  because you got yourself into it, you totally have the power to get out of it!

A lot of my clients right now are at the point of no return –  where there’s no turning back or delaying the inevitable any longer.  They’ve gotten to a place where the only thing to do is to go through – there is no way round, there is no way back – they need to make a change or take action in a certain direction because at this point there really is no other alternative, whether because of forced external realities or an internal malaise and dissatisfaction that they can no longer withstand.

Why changes haven’t been made up to now is a more complicated and varied topic for another time; often it’s a stronger sense of obligation to others and what they would want or would make them happy that prevents us from moving forward to the beat of our own drum. But contrary to Hollywood plots, we are the ones who have to live in our bodies, so it’s up to us to do what needs to be done. It’s time to go big or go home.

Not fully convinced you don’t have to go all topsy turvy or time-travelly to get it right? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the freaky fictional device that helps you wake up and smell the coffee. You’ll understand and appreciate where you’re at and what changes you can make in order to learn and experience whatever you need to be the best you can be, Right Here, Right Now.

(Today’s PGG was originally posted August 9, 2011)

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click on above links  for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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