Many of you know my degree is in International Relations. Early on I was a passionate student of languages and cultures, and was bitten by the travel bug at age 12 after a trip to Spain, Portugal and Morocco with my grandmother. By senior year in high school I was studying Spanish, French and Italian (forgoing chemistry and physics…), and in college I took Mandarin Chinese, organized international student orientations, studied abroad…you get the picture.

My dream was to one day work for the UN, as my intention and mission in life was to contribute to world peace (I simply didn’t understand why people and countries couldn’t get along just because of race, religion or anything else), so that was a seemingly logical goal. Who grows up wanting to be a career/life coach?  Like so many professions today, that didn’t even exist when I was a kid!  Ah, but the Universe has a funny way of working things out.

Once I discovered that being employed by the UN did not ultimately fit my skill set or desired environment, I set out to create my own international experiences – teaching middle and high school Spanish, working and traveling with an upscale educational tour operator, teaching Tourism Destinations and Cultures at NYU, and founding my own mini-version of the UN called  The Women’s Mosaic, bringing together women from different cultures and backgrounds to learn from and be inspired by one another.

As a result of that creation, I got hooked into the UN, met several times and received praise from Kofi Annan; have attended many of its conferences (I still get verklempt when I am in the auditorium wearing an earpiece…); and before any of this, without consciously trying, ended up living in the very neighborhood where the UN headquarters is situated!  So for my entire adult life I have been surrounded by diplomats and their missions, sharing my coffee shop, gym and grocery store with them 24/7.

Fast-forward to more recently, as my interest and passion for personal growth, empowerment and healing, along with my ability to relate to just about anyone, combined with x-ray vision, supersonic hearing, and broad knowledge base of industries, careers and other resources have combined to make me into this very interesting and profoundly effective person I will call a career/life coach for lack of a better title. And I have been helping people professionally in this capacity for over six years [at the time of this writing; now it is over ten!]

Last week I had a big “aha moment” after a Skype session with a new client in Hungary who had attended one of my talks while here on holiday. Although that was only my second international call, I realized just how diverse and, yes, global my clientele is! I have worked with well over a hundred from all backgrounds – whether foreign nationals visiting or working here  temporarily, or folks who came to live here as children or adults. They hail from Macedonia, Italy, Puerto Rico, Mexico, New Zealand, Dominican Republic, China, Taiwan, Nigeria, Canada, Australia, El Salvador, Russia, Japan, Philippines, and Israel and they embody the many diverse ethnicities and religions found here – African-American, Haitian, Indian, Persian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Quaker, and so much more; many of my clients have accents, as English is their second or third language! So DUH, here I am using my degree in international relations yet once again, simply in another form.  Pretty cool, huh?

I share all of this not just to illustrate how the thread of my interests and passions have run through everything I do, but also for this: My work with individuals only confirms my theories, thoughts and ideals about countries and humanity as a whole.  The more I learn and observe intimately the intricacies of all these seemingly different folks’ journeys and backgrounds, the more I see the hard evidence of how we are all wired with the same desires, dreams, hopes and challenges. No matter what corner of the globe you are from, we have far more in common than you can imagine. 

Think you’re so special? You are. You have a uniqueness that you bring to this planet. But you are also made of the same stuff as that guy or gal across the ocean or sitting next to you on the subway.  And because of things like technology and climate change, we are more interconnected than ever.  So this week take a moment to expand your horizons: Who can you learn about, chat with or help in some way that is out of your normal sphere of influence?  How can you Imagine your world for the better? What can you do to think globally but act locally?

Not sure how the micro in your life will affect the macro? Give me a buzz and we’ll translate the language of your soul to see how it will weave into the tapestry of history and become that much-needed piece of the peace puzzle we are all a part of, no matter who you are or where you come from.

Special note: For this week I decided to rerun a very particular PGG because, really, how often do royal weddings come around?! Instead of tornadoes in Alabama seven years ago, we had them right here in the northeast the other day; and although we didn’t have anything as singular as the death of Bin Laden, we’ve had similar mob mentality on social media recently for a variety of folks whose reputations have been killed for one unsavory reason or another. 

This time I got marginally sucked in to the frenzy when I watched the Lifetime movie version of Harry & Meghan’s story, and now have a greater degree of insight into their courtship than I care to or should; I guess this wedding does spark even more intrigue than the previous because, forget being a commoner, it involves an “older”  biracial-American-actress-divorcee-feminist-humanitarian bride….It’s a powerful representation and it will be interesting to see how the newlyweds use their platform once the pomp and circumstance subside. 

There are certainly other more “serious” things that could warrant all the time, attention and fanfare (not to mention the price tag!), but hey, most of us love a good fairy tale royal romance as a respite from reality, and lord knows we could use a little pixie dust, now more than ever. ❤ ❤ ❤ 

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I tried to resist, I really did.  I did not want to contribute one more thought to the nuptials of two young royals, a story which has been regurgitated, dissected and discussed in a plethora of ways ad nauseam for the months, weeks and days leading up to it.  And once it was officially over, we hoped we could move on with more important things, and I don’t mean birth certificates or transcripts.

But then a funny thing happened. Having a minor curiosity in the whole affair, I woke up Friday morning, turned on the TV, and like the tornadoes that had devastatingly destroyed much of Alabama the day before, I somehow got sucked into the vortex of everything Wills and Kate!!  It was hard to get around it, frankly, and like that darn car accident everyone slows down for, I simply could not turn away.

Besides getting the dress fix, I was mesmerized by the orderliness of the mega crowd; the sheer detail, beauty and majesty of it all, and how much global attention had been placed on this singular event, which unified a nation and the world. I thought about how people can indeed come together in positive, dare I say, innocent ways, even if much of it comes down to a shared fantasy.  And then another funny thing happened.

In the midst of writing this, news broke of the demise of a man with a turban and beard who had ties to a different royal family, and many people all around our country gathered spontaneously in the streets to revel in the news.  It received equal if not more global attention, but it remains to be seen how jubilant an occasion is it really? Significant and somber, yes, but having a party to celebrate revenge and the death of anyone is not the same. No matter how happy you are that Bin Laden is dead, that type of celebration comes from a place of hate and fear, not love.

My writing often talks about how we need to Let Love Rule, because What the World Needs Now is Love, sweet love. Fairy tales and fascination aside, no matter who you are, what you look like, or where you come from, we all want to love and be loved in return. Even with bad decisions and family feuds, weddings are generally joyous occasions, and funerals are not, but both tap into our desire for that basic of human needs, and should always unify us for good.

You may live in Queens or Kings County, but you don’t have to come from a special blood line or marry a Prince or Princess to have a charmed life. Give me a buzz and I’ll show you how to become the sovereign monarch of your own peaceful kingdom and love life happily ever after!

Massive quakes, record rainfall, perilous flooding, topsy-turvy temperatures. There is no doubt that Earth – displaying her power with last week’s volcanic eruption – is going through something. Whether you think of it as climate change, global warming or that crazy concept Al Gore invented, shifts happen.

If you think of each human as his or her own self-contained world, you could say our North Pole is our mind, with its thinking/rational way of doing things, and our South Pole is the heart and gut, our more intuitive, creative M.O.

We have always looked to the North Star to lead the way, but what about the Southern Sky? There would be no North without the South! One is not more important than the other. And what if the North is a little tired of doing all the heavy lifting, and is starting to pass the baton to the South?

Just like our planet, the O.G. Mama, think of yourself in the process of shifting and changing – be aware, take care, go with the flow and notice what happens. The Earth is crying out for ways to heal, and if you have been living a less than balanced life, so will you.

Feeling a little “top” heavy or ready to erupt? I’m here to help, so think of me like a surrogate Mother Nature with a super-special compass that can reset the magnetic North and South within you.

PGG Extra #2:  Here’s an article from Psychology Today I was quoted in:
The Problem with Thinking 

“Our guts and hearts are like hard drives, our minds the software. We need to let our centers do the heavy lifting and lead the way. But like any other muscle, you need to exercise love, intuition and trust in yourself on a regular basis. Then, little by little you grow stronger and more confident in order to let that part of you run the show, instead of your brain.”

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We seek out emotional intensity vicariously, because when we are emotionally numb, we need a great deal of stimulation to feel something, anything. So emotional pornography provides the stimulation, but it’s only ersatz emotion — it doesn’t teach us anything about ourselves or the world. ~ Miriam Greenspan, psychotherapist

One of the most popular singers today, Adele seems to unite us all with her deeply felt ballads and powerful, rich delivery, as illustrated so well by this SNL video. It’s a funny premise because it touches upon some profound truth, as she is one of the best-selling recording artists of all time due to her universal appeal; young, old, rich, poor, black, white, purple, no matter your nationality, religious or political affiliation — virtually no one can resist the temptation to be moved and sing along.

The Maori culture of New Zealand has a tradition called haka, an “ancestral war cry, dance or challenge performed by a group, with vigorous movements and stamping of the feet with rhythmically shouted accompaniment.” You can check out the rugby team’s haka for their most famous player’s funeral or this wedding video that went viral around the globe. My guess is that 99.99 percent of viewers had no idea what was being said/sung, but what makes haka and other similar native traditions so powerful is the absolute lack of artifice and 200 percent commitment to the raw, exaggerated emotion expressed; you can’t help but feel something stirred within you and respond emotionally in kind.

Sporting events, especially football, with its expanding audience and the Super Bowl essentially having the status of a national holiday, are one of the only acceptable forums where we can shout and scream and express our emotions to the max — joy, excitement, disappointment, frustration, surprise. If you’re not a sports fan, then stadium rock concerts can offer a similar opportunity as we enjoy head-banging tunes, raging against the machine, and belting our hearts out with longing, hope, despair, anger, passion and, of course, love. This is also what we see stirred up at political rallies, igniting people with emotions, good, bad and ugly.”

And because of the explosion of diverse media outlets, the content being created — movies, TV series, reality shows, and even “news” programs — keeps pushing the envelope to the extremes of sex, violence, revenge, horror and apocalyptic scenarios to get any attention. Social media is getting worse, always in a race to post the most salacious or silly videos, scandalous or outrageous memes and headlines in order attract the most click bait. And most folks can’t help falling for it, getting sucked in more times than they realize or care to admit.

These are also all shared experiences, or varying degrees of tribal experiences, activating a very human part of us that needs to connect and feel part of a bigger group. As we become more and more isolated and only virtually connected, these experiences become more rare and intensified as we advance in our technological age. And remember, emotions are contagious, so choose your tribes and tribal experiences wisely.

Whether it’s an Adele song, a demonstration of haka, a major sporting event, a viral video or a political rally, these experiences awaken emotions that we are becoming desensitized to, are covering up, or are embarrassed to share as we text and type without direct human contact, with our gadgets as legitimized interlopers. We are in danger of becoming robots ourselves.

Being able to feel is the most human trait we possess, and one that will ultimately separate us from artificial intelligence. The good news is that we are inherently rebelling: Our subconscious natural inclination to express our feelings is so strong that it is evidenced by the creation and widespread use of emojis! We simply cannot contain that part of ourselves, as emotion is essential to the way humans communicate if we want to be fully understood.

As I say in my talks, most people walk around emotionally constipated. We need to feel our feelings because the alternative is some unhealthy form of distraction, addiction or even violence. Learn to process your emotions; recognize and honor your feelings as they occur and then express or release them in an appropriate manner. That could mean talking it out; other times it’s just journaling. Sometimes it’s hysterically crying, belly-laughing, running for miles, dancing your butt off, singing, screaming or even moaning. Remember, emotion is “energy in motion,” so you need to let it move through and out of you, which is why those big stadium experiences, scary movies and power ballads feel so good. But they don’t have to be the only game in town if you cultivate your emotional health on a regular basis.

One of my favorite scenes in one of my favorite movies, French Kiss, is when Meg Ryan is frustrated with how French women have a way of interacting with men, masking or manipulating how they really feel rather than just being straightforward. She laments, “If you’re happy, smile, if you’re sad, frown; use the corresponding face to the corresponding emotion!” When we consistently feel our feelings and express them honestly to ourselves and others, we are able to communicate more effectively and gain a sense of inner peace and harmony. That means stop holding back or repressing our emotional selves, hiding behind our smartphones, or relying on “emotional porn” to give us the natural satisfaction and release that we require as conscious, sentient beings.

Not sure if you’re clogged up with a hodgepodge of emotions or if you only feel with the help of some outside stimulus? Give me a buzz and I’ll be your personal Roto-Rooter (wo)man to get things moving along so you can feel your own subtle or not-so-subtle emotions and go with your own flow — without always needing that bigger, bolder, in-your-face experience or to live vicariously through another’s.

(Today’s PGG originally published on February 11, 2016)

Want to make 2018 the year to feel your feelings but not sure how?

Contact me today and I’ll help you go with your emotional flow in work & life!

***Click here for my special Spring Cleaning private coaching offer!*** (Good through May 15th)

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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final ten minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

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Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself