When things aren’t quite going your way, it’s easy to fall into the grass-is-always-greener syndrome. But as the saying goes, before you judge a man (or covet his life), walk a mile in his shoes.

You don’t have to turn back the clock , eat a magical fortune cookie, ride in a souped up DeLorean or relieve yourself in an enchanted fountain to discover your life and relationships are exactly as they should be, or get the kick in the butt you need to make them better. The fact is, our lives are the sum total of all the choices we’ve ever made up until this point – a combination unique unto ourselves. That means we have, on some level, created the situation we’ve wanted or needed in order to learn and grow on this journey called life.

So whatever your state of affairs, take full responsibility for it. The good news is that if you don’t like it, because you got yourself into it, you totally have the power to get out of it!

A lot of my clients right now are at the point of no return – where there’s no turning back or delaying the inevitable.  They’ve gotten to a place where the only thing to do is to go through – there is no way around, there is no way back – they need to make a change or take action in a certain direction because at this point there’s no alternative, whether because of forced external realities or an internal malaise and dissatisfaction that they can no longer withstand.

Why changes haven’t been made up to now is a more complicated and varied topic for another time; often it’s a stronger sense of obligation to others, what they want or would make them happy that prevents us from moving forward to the beat of our own drum. But contrary to Hollywood plots, we are the ones who have to live in our bodies, so it’s up to us to do what needs to be done. It’s time to go big or go home.

Not fully convinced you don’t have to go all topsy turvy or time-travelly to get it right? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the freaky fictional device that helps you wake up and smell the coffee. You’ll understand and appreciate where you’re at and what changes you can make in order to learn and experience whatever you need to be the best you can be, Right Here, Right Now.

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on September 25, 2012)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
 

Suffering without catharsis is nothing but wasted pain.~ Jim MacLaren

It is not enough to win a war; it is more important to organize the peace. ~Aristotle

If you’re like me, my clients, friends and family, the last three years or so have felt like you’ve been fighting your way through a series of battles one after another, one deeper or slightly different from the last, but all relentlessly asking you to deal with one particular area of life, even if that area spills over to a few others. And it doesn’t help that our world has been going through its own revolution with major insanity via governments and insurgents, the misuse of technology and military/police force, and the dis-ease that Mother Nature has been rebelling against in her own way…

Whether a war was being waged against you from the outside – perhaps in the form of losing a job or a loved one, dealing with a health crisis, break-up, financial issues – and/or from the inside, i.e. confronting depression, addiction, OCD, ADD, emotional trauma, co-dependency, self-esteem, toxic relationships, negative thoughts and patterns- it’s been a time that’s forced you to go to the mattresses with your psyche, getting schooled in something or someone, but ultimately, yourself, in a probably not-so-pleasant way.

If you rose to the challenge and hunkered down, when you look back as the fog starts to lift, you will find a super-stark reality check; things that you thought to be stable or secure no longer hold that position; things that once gave you comfort, now not so much. We see things now as they really are, not how we wish them to be. Smooth sailing it has definitely not been, but if you can honestly reflect on all that’s transpired you will see that indeed it has been quite productive!

Yes there were some casualties, but most likely they were the enemies, real or imagined, internal or external, holding you back from moving forward anyway. We might have some scars, but we’ve recognized and liberated ourselves from our own self-imposed torture chambers and internment camps. You’ve decided what is or isn’t important, and have begun to adjust some behaviors in order to reflect your new attitude and revelations. 

The most dangerous threat we all faced, and continue to face, is that of “divide and conquer”; of thinking we are the lone soldier out in the battlefield and that we have to suffer in silence. Sure at the end of the day we have to vanquish our own demons, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t call in the troops and rely upon our buddies for support, even if just moral, along the way. We cannot isolate in our trenches – we must reach out to our platoon – that is what they are there for!

The good news is that after sloshing through this winter’s powerful punch, we can look forward to the Spring Equinox knowing there are lighter days, both literally and metaphorically, ahead.  Be patient with yourself and others as you enter back into civil society and express kindness, compassion and forgiveness to all you meet, even your so-called adversaries, as we have all been struggling in one way or another with our wounds and probably have a little PTSD that can be cured with a lot of TLC. It is finally time for a truce, and to surrender to the peace that is waiting for you should you choose to accept all that the Universe has asked (well, more like demanded!) you to change.

Not quite sure what you’ve gained or lost in this epic battle with yourself? Give me a buzz and I’ll help you see this particular War, what it is really good for is to say “Thank you for letting be myself again” – only a better, new and improved version of who you are truly meant to be!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
 

We’ve just celebrated  International Women’s Day , so in honor of this occasion I’d like to give a special shout-out to all the men out there and encourage you to celebrate the many ways women make your lives better (i.e.check out my post from last week), acknowledge what you can learn from them, and inspire you to get in touch with your feminine side with unabashed pride.

Dan Abrams recently came out with a book called Man Down, a tome that provides extensive research proving how women are pretty much better at everything than men. Whether or not you believed that already, the key here is to remember that we are not in a Battle of the Sexes, but more that everyone, regardless of the gender you are identified as or associate with, needs to demonstrate the best characteristics of both worlds.

The reality is that most men have a problem expressing emotion, long considered a “girlie” trait. The amazing irony is that as I am literally in the midst of writing this post (which has been planned for more than a day) I flip the TV channel to catch the end of Charlie Rose interviewing David Brooks about his book The Social Animal. Charlie, who is clearly an exception to the rule, admits how important it is for people to have the “power to express yourself and have emotional intelligence.” David comments how he, and most men, struggle with this and how he admires Bruce Springsteen as someone who is a ‘manly working class guy who can be emotional in a respectable way.’  (Thanks fellas for validating this as I type it!)

Most men will never know What It Feels Like For a Girl, so since this year the day also falls on Mardi Gras, what better excuse is there than to ‘dress’ in drag metaphorically and try your woman-like alter ego on for size.  I don’t mean like a full-on Tootsie or Mrs. Doubtfire, but more like the guys in I Love You, Man or The Boss in all his glory; allow yourself to be just a little more sensitive, intuitive, creative, and expressive of what it is you’re feeling. 

Whether your birth announcement was pink or blue, we all need to balance our Mickey with our Minnie, so give me a buzz and I’ll give you an opportunity and show you the way to make the most of all of who you are, without having to shave your legs, put on a fake moustache or become like SNL’s Pat

P.S. For related thoughts on this topic check out my posts: You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby?, Girl Power, I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar, Are You Gonna Go My Way? , Rage Against the Machine

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on March 8, 2011)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
 

There’s just me. ~ Jill Scott

The number one has always garnered a lot of attention – all that talk about the 1%, who came in first place and what or who gets to be number one on which list.

It only takes one person to change the world (for good or bad), and whether conscious of it or not, we all strive to have those blissful moments of becoming one with something or someone outside ourselves; it can happen with your loved one, but also with your dance partner, your paintbrush, your horse,  your golf club, your violin, with Nature and the whole of humanity.

We also need to take care number one, because if you don’t who will? How can you help anyone else if you haven’t first cared for yourself?  And hey, if you’re happy there’s a much greater chance of everyone around you being happy too, just like the pebble thrown in a pond whose ripples go out far beyond…

One doesn’t have to be the Loneliest Number, because at the end of the day you’re the only one you’ve got – no one else can inhabit your body, mind and spirit and experience your challenges and successes. You are ultimately responsible for your joy and fulfillment, how you relate to the world and make the most of what you’ve been given.

We only have One Live to Live, so how can you know and love who you are and what you think, feel and desire if you don’t spend some quality alone time with yourself on a regular basis?

The proverbial saying tells us a journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step, so now is as potent a time as any to finally make some effort, take some action towards a goal or way of being that you want to achieve and/or be open to discover new, unimagined opportunities and vistas that may bring you out of your comfort zone but closer to your best life.

As Bono sings, we’re One, but we’re not the same; we’ve got to carry each other, so give me a buzz and I’ll help you figure out how there’s just One in a Million You, show you what should be Numero Uno in your life right now and move you towards feeling One Love more than ever!

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on November 8, 2011)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List