Archives for the month of: September, 2018

Wisdom and folly both are like meats that are wholesome and unwholesome, and courtly or simple words are like town-made or rustic vessels – both kinds of food may be served in either kind of dish.

The inclination to seek the truth is safer than the presumption which regards unknown things as known.

We sin when we have our loves out of order.

~ All quotes courtesy of St. Augustine of Hippo (last one paraphrased via David Brooks)

Over these past few weeks it feels like once again we’ve been kicked in the gut, bamboozled and sucker-punched. We have been experiencing an assault on our senses that takes extreme discipline and vigilance to filter and sift through, lest we become casualties of a different sort: reacting out of fear, being dragged into a divisive tornado, or simply being unable to function due to the magnitude of it, all of which affect us physically, emotionally and/or mentally. Or we pretend nothing is happening because it’s just too much. We can’t seem to catch a break.

We are interconnected and impacted by each other more than ever; events everywhere are harder to ignore even if we wanted to, as social media only amplifies all that’s happening. On the other hand, there are legions and layers of news – or narratives – that barely, if ever, get to see the light of day from whatever story has hijacked the news cycle. And for a while now, that’s been a revolving door of mass shootings, climate change/extreme weather, police brutality/racism, reproductive rights, domestic and foreign terrorism, refugees, and a Kardashian – interspersed with ads telling us to buy, buy, buy, now, now, now – all having their moments interchangeably ad nauseam. The fear – and war – mongering is relentless.

It’s easy to feel powerless during these times, but we can do our part, as I always say, to “create peace in our piece of the pie.” The first thing you can do is check your own thoughts and perceptions, then consider the source of the information you are receiving, what is behind and underneath what has occurred. Look beyond face value and put yourself on both sides of the equation:

Just because you behaved badly doesn’t mean you are a bad person; perhaps your behavior is controlling you due to an addiction, personality disorder or mental illness.

Just because you are Muslim doesn’t mean you are fundamental extremist, and just because you are a Christian doesn’t mean that you are not.

Just because you are a police officer doesn’t mean you are innocent, and just because you are a poor person of color doesn’t meant that you’re not.

Just because you don’t have an abortion doesn’t mean you are pro-life, and just because you did doesn’t mean that you aren’t.

Just because you were incarcerated for a crime doesn’t mean that you were, or still are, a criminal.

Just because you have a lot of money or a fancy title doesn’t mean you are right, and just because you are poor or uneducated doesn’t mean that you’re not.

Just because a nation has a dictator doesn’t mean it’s entirely evil, and just because a nation’s motto is “the land of the free” doesn’t mean that it entirely is.

Just because you wear baggie pants or a hoodie doesn’t mean you’re a crook; just because you wear a suit and tie doesn’t mean that you’re not.

Just because you don’t believe in climate change because it affects your bottom line doesn’t mean that it isn’t indeed changing and affecting the ocean line.

Just because you produce a slick TV commercial that uses pleasant images and soothing music doesn’t mean you’re selling a product that is benign, helpful or necessary.

Just because there are loud music, bold fonts and special effects doesn’t make a topic urgent; just because something barely makes the news doesn’t mean it isn’t.

Just because you see beauty on the outside doesn’t mean you won’t find ugliness on the inside, or that what you consider unattractive does not possess a beauty within.

Just because you are a talking head on a major media outlet doesn’t mean you know what you are talking about.

Just because you believe in a God doesn’t make you moral, and just because you don’t doesn’t mean you are not.

Just because a picture is worth a thousand words doesn’t mean those words are correct without first knowing the context or the curator.

Just because you are an immigrant or a refugee doesn’t mean you’re a terrorist, and just because you are a citizen doesn’t mean that you’re not.

Just because you read something on the interwebs doesn’t mean it’s true, and then again, it could be the only place to find the truth.

You get the point … (I hope!) The world, and life, has never been black or white, but man, that gray is getting more gray and muddled day by day.

Because what I do for a living is help my clients connect dots, see what isn’t being seen and hear what isn’t being said, and my core belief is that personal transformation is the key to social transformation, I can’t help but apply the same process to these world events. This “client,” let’s call her Gaia, is at crossroads and going through some stuff, all of it resulting in violence, anxiety and disease of one kind or another, and I think the best question to ask is why – what is the common thread of the discontent and imbalance? – and then dig deep beneath the surface, as things are never what they seem or what we are told.

We need to constantly think beyond what is fed to us, to see how things are framed. Who is shaping the narrative and to what end? Who is trying to influence you for what agenda and why? What are we being asked to focus on to distract from what is going on behind the scenes or in another place? We must use our critical faculties. I know this takes work. I know this is not like scrolling through Instagram. I know the truth is sometimes hard to swallow – but as the saying goes, “Know the truth and the truth shall set you free.”

We must fight for our right to understand the story based on truth and facts – but unfortunately it is getting more and more difficult to find unbiased sources for either….

(PGG continued on Medium…..this one is really long [and remember was originally published in December 2015!] so click here to read more)

(Today’s PGG was originally published on December 8, 2015)

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Click here to learn more and book your private coaching session with Kristina  

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)In this excerpt covering the final ten minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over fifty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

 Like us on Facebook    Follow us on Twitter   View our profile on LinkedIn  View on Instagram                 

Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself

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You teach best what you most need to learn.  ~ Richard Bach

No matter where you are along your journey, Life is constantly giving you opportunities to learn and grow, and offers up situations that test or reward you for that growth.

For today’s PGG, I thought I’d share two stories I posted on my social media this week (be sure to like or follow if you haven’t already!) as a way to illustrate how I practice what I preach…

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Last Saturday, my day began with an anxiety attack.

I am not normally an anxious person, but I am human, and a highly sensitive being, so occasionally this does happen, and it is not pleasant, to say the least.

Because of who I am and the work I do, I am fortunate to have a bunch of tools in my toolbox to employ on such an occasion, so I was able to get out of it relatively quickly. But as you may well know, it can take a toll.

One of the tools I used was to connect with a good friend and get out of my immediate environment. That led to a new vista, quite literally, as I had offered to cross the river for dinner, and my friend suggested we check out the waterfront – somewhere I had never been and she hadn’t been for a while. It just so happened it was the first clear night in two weeks, an ideal temperature, and we got there just before sunset.

Who knew what a feast for the eyes and spirit would await me less than half an hour from my home?! With a skyline and lighting that looked fake, it was like stepping into a scene in a movie … . Of course we had to seize the moment and took many, many photos (which I will surely use here over time ;)) in between appreciating and absorbing the wonder of it all. How could this be right under our noses and we never knew it? It was a perfect night, just what the doctor ordered, and honestly these are only a few gems captured.

I share this because if you had seen only the photos, you might be projecting or assuming lots of different things about me and my life, as we are prone to do on social media, so I wanted you to know the backstory: that I had begun the day struggling, but because of that struggle, I was led to this magical ending. 

Always listen to yourself, and trust that for every challenge there is an opportunity, and a beautiful sunset to be had after any storm.

And then on Tuesday I shared an experience I had that day which reinforced the very thing I ask of my clients and audiences:

I received a few “Congrats on your work anniversary” messages last week and realized LinkedIn was reminding me that it’s my 16th anniversary as a speaker/seminar/workshop leader. (I started when I was 12 😉 )

How fitting then that as I was settling into my local Starbucks this morning, a man came up to me and asked if I was a speaker at New York’s Science, Industry and Business Library. I said yes and he told me how he had attended one of my talks a year or two ago and he really enjoyed it. He liked my “creative” approach and that I, as well as some of the other speakers there, helped get him through a very difficult time in his life. He recalled the value he received from my talk, affirming my passion and presence, and that I was definitely “different” from the others but that was a good thing.

The fact that speaking is even part of what I do for my work is mind-boggling to me as a bona fide introvert who used to get stiff necks and coughing fits at the mere thought of public speaking – but every time I did it, what I said seemed to resonate with people, so I just kept doing it. I’m actually not very good technically (lots of filler words, no PowerPoint, often ramble, limited vocabulary, talk with hands, etc. …), but I am passionate about whatever I’m talking about, speak from the heart, and offer some unique perspectives on common topics.

I’ve been told that I’m very “down to earth” and that’s also why most people dig listening to me. The way I speak to my audiences is the same way I speak to a client, a friend, or the barista.

In other words, I learned long ago that just being myself was enough, and that people benefit from it.  

Never doubt that your combination of skills, talents and passions are the *exact* thing that can help another (or many), therefore your real job is to accept, own and embrace who you are and shine!  

Not sure how to strut your own stuff down the evolutionary road to sublime success? That is exactly what I can help you do, so give me a buzz and we’ll get you on the path to demonstrate the dynamic diversity of your DNA so you can do what you do best for us to benefit!

(P.S. And if you are in need of a speaker for your company, ERG, association etc, be sure to be in touch, too! )

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Click here to learn more and book your private coaching session with Kristina  

Click here for some tesimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)In this excerpt covering the final ten minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over fifty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

 Like us on Facebook    Follow us on Twitter   View our profile on LinkedIn  View on Instagram                 

Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself

“A human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind,”  was the conclusion of a Harvard study whose research was conducted using an iPhone app.  It is a sentiment that many religions and philosophies have proclaimed for centuries and can best be summed up by the popular phrase “Be here now.”

If researchers had a window into our minds, they’d see that we are almost never fully engaged in what is right in front of us, whether we’re thinking about the past or future, or simply not focused on the task at hand – and that causes unhappiness.

According to Andrew Bernstein’s book The Myth of Stress, it’s not the activity or situation that is the stressor, it’s our mind’s perception and reaction to the situation that causes the stress.  By recognizing the reality of a circumstance and truly comprehending why it is happening, you can greatly reduce your adverse response to whatever is taking place.

I am always talking about process and “understanding where you’re at.” Most unpleasant situations you find yourself in are impermanent; by simply accepting that they are temporary, you can greatly increase your sense of inner peace and balance.  Because life is constantly in motion you need to learn how to “go with the flow” and knowing that “this too shall pass.”   

Remember that if you show up mentally, as well as physically, to that meeting, event or conversation, you’ve already done half the work, and the Universe can meet you halfway to create whatever it is you want or need.

Out of chaos always comes clarity. Need a little help living happily in the unknown and keepin’ it in real time?  I can be a human app that checks in to show you how to make sense of and make the best out of any situation you find your present self.

(Today’s PGG was originally published on November 16, 2010)

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Click here to learn more and book your private coaching session with Kristina  

Click here for some tesimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)In this excerpt covering the final ten minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over fifty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

 Like us on Facebook    Follow us on Twitter   View our profile on LinkedIn  View on Instagram                 

Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself

If you check out my recent video on YouTube or Instagram, you’ll see me talk about how the “acorn doesn’t become an oak tree overnight”; there is a process to growth, things take time, and you need to trust it all.

On the heels of celebrating my 11th anniversary as a professional coach, I had the chance to visit one of my longtime clients who has been on an intense personal- and professional-growth journey over the six years I’ve known him.

When Andrew first contacted me after seeing me speak at New York’s Science, Industry and Business Library back in 2012, he was in a very dark place, having just been fired from a job at a high-profile start-up and was quite lost and down on himself. We worked together consistently over about two and a half years (and then more infrequently as he needed less support), where we built up his self-esteem, confidence, leadership and presentation skills, and reconnected him with his love of coding. All of which saved his marriage as well.

He was then able to network and gain experience in a variety of work environments. He confronted his need to be liked and therefore be taken advantage of, or instead overcompensate with arrogance. He recognized and left toxic bosses, found community, won hackathons, and started his own successful Meetup group – all while not knowing anyone in NYC because he had moved here from overseas due to his wife’s work.

We last had a coaching session about a year ago, after he did not pass the probation period of a new job that he had taken (in hindsight) purely based on ego, but that got him out of a good – yet rather boring and stagnant – gig that he had excelled at. And this happened just after he and his wife bought a condo and had a baby…

I was able to prevent him from panicking or thinking this had anything to do with his abilities or performance. I also showed him how this was actually a big kick in the butt from the Universe to correct some behavior patterns once and for all so that he could really move forward.

He took the time to process what we discussed, and then all the inner and outer seeds he planted since we first met were ready to be harvested.

About a month and a half later, he got a job “out of the blue” with one of the largest advertising holding companies in the world, working on a highly valued and visible project. He was promoted after five months, has six top people now working under him, and is making more money than he ever has, which is allowing his wife to stay home with their adorable 15-month-old son.

These photos are from my time with them this past Sunday near their new home in Greenwich, Conn., and unbeknownst to me prior to making these plans, it was also Andrew’s birthday weekend!

I share this story with you to illustrate how amazing it is to see and feel the fruits of your labor, both in Andrew’s case – as someone who sought help and then applied what he learned and worked extremely hard to develop himself and his talents – and in mine, as in my dedication to align myself with my work to help others do the same.

We all have a job to do that will bring us fulfillment and, in turn, will support and benefit others. Are you doing yours?

Take some time to reflect on that, and if you are not satisfied with your answer, be sure to reach out to me. Perhaps by this time next year you, too, will be well on the way to your own happy harvest …

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Click here to learn more and book your private coaching session with Kristina  

Click here for some tesimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)In this excerpt covering the final ten minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over fifty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

 Like us on Facebook    Follow us on Twitter   View our profile on LinkedIn  View on Instagram                 

Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself

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