Archives for the month of: October, 2010

With the advent of Halloween we are bombarded with spooky images and haunted houses to remind us it’s that time of year to face our deepest fears. But the majority of things that frighten us aren’t outside ourselves. Like the creepiness that comes from being in a House of Mirrors, what usually freaks people out most is seeing themselves multiplied a hundred times!

When in your own personal house of horrors, no matter how many cobwebs and shadows you find, know that we all have darker aspects of our personality and we’re never confronted with anything we can’t handle so we should never be afraid. Whether your fears and ugly parts are real or imagined, the key is not to run away from them. The only thing to do is to shed light on the source of our anxieties and perceived inadequacies, get to their roots and make adjustments that will bring us closer to the most fulfilled and peaceful versions of ourselves we can be.

And like the end of a scary movie, it comes down to you and only you to fight for your life.  There is no magic formula or genie in a bottle to come along, no Calgon or knight in shining armor to take you away. Taking responsibility for your life centers you in who you are and what you want – fantasy and illusion, or simply ignoring things move you farther away. It’s up to us to create our own happiness and what we want in our lives, and ask for help when we need it.

So if you need to do a little exorcising of your inner ghouls and goblins, who ya gonna call?  Like Ghostbusters or those meddling kids in Scooby-Doo I will expose and expel the real cause of your heebie-jeebies and things that go bump in the night so you can move forward and make the changes you need to be all of you are in the bright light of day!

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The latest casualties in celebrity breakups – Courtney Cox & David Arquette, Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman, Ben Harper & Laura Dern to name a few – remind us that although things may look all bright and shiny on the outside, there is trouble in paradise.

Whether you have the paparazzi spotlight on you or not, this is the area of life we are most often challenged in, even if we excel at everything else. Because when it comes to relationships, it’s a jungle out there. Having realistic expectations of what we want and how to go about getting it is the key to navigating that often hostile and confusing environment.

The jungle image conjures up wild, primitive peoples, virgin (no pun intended) territories, poisonous plants and camouflaged predators. But the reality is that it can also contain a myriad of medicinal cures and infinite beauty and diversity – a place of healing, discovery and wonder.

Just like the mighty forest of the Amazon, we each contain secrets and gems within us….it might first take wielding a machete to clear away the brush before getting to a place where you can see the light of day, and your partner in that light. It takes work – honest communication and emotional elbow grease – to get to that place where you are totally naked, totally nude to just be, without the distractions, bells and whistles or ability to hide in the denseness of all that surrounds you.  That is the place where relationships must exist; all the rest is just gravy.

If and when you get to that stripped down place and can’t embrace yourself it will be much harder for your partner to. But if you have already uncovered and unearthed all your hidden and not so nice parts, and love and accept them unconditionally while trying to improve them, then you can enter into a relationship truly whole and ready to give to another in the same way.

So whether you are traveling solo, have a ‘plus one’ right now, or not quite sure what your status is on this expedition called life, give me a buzz and I will help lead you out of the heart of darkness and into the bright city lights.

In the year 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue…Whether or not you approve of the outcome of that fateful voyage of the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria, we can all learn from Columbus’ extreme act of faith and belief in himself when he left to explore a New World despite all odds.

Albert Einstein believed in intuition and inspiration, saying “Imagination is more important than knowledge”.  The greatest discoveries in the world are often based on hunches, on people with a vision and certain knowingness, and then moving forward with courage, determination and perseverance, they set out to prove it.  People may think you’re crazy, want to dissuade you, say your theories are wrong; even those closest to you who have the very best of intentions can only project their version of the truth and what they think is right.  But they simply may not understand, and at the end of the day, we must be the captain of our own ship.

Once you embark on that journey, you will always encounter stormy skies, dis-ease, and potential mutiny along the way, whether from external sources and naysayers or internal voices of doubt and despair from your ego trying to take over what your heart and gut knows to be true, without the proof and evidence yet in existence. But we must remain steady as she blows!

We each have an internal compass, our own personal North Star which may very well lead us on a different path from everyone around us or society as a whole.  We are unique beings, so only you know what’s right for you and ultimately the direction you want to be going in.  And if you’re wrong or it doesn’t work out the way you planned, at least you will have tried, and will learn and grow along the way. You may even find something better than what you originally envisioned…

So if you need a little adjustment of your internal GPS,  an experienced cartographer, or just some help handling what Mother Nature throws your way, give me a buzz and I’ll be the wind that gives lift to your sails, assists in navigating those uncharted waters and supports you in staying the course!

Although I am intrigued by the Wild West and love a good Jane Austen movie, I am always grateful that we live in a much more modern era.

One glaring difference of course is the way we communicate. In 1860 it took mucho dinero and ten days for the Pony Express to cross the country – a miracle feat at the time. Today, with little or no cost, we can send words, documents, letters and more for our recipients to see in mere seconds.

Women like Lizzie Bennet spent days, weeks or months on end waiting for a letter from their Darcys and it was the only form of communication they had if they were not in the same room with one another. In 2010 the ability to have those messages delivered almost instantly can accelerate the suffering or joy couples endured back then.

We can express ourselves and have relationships with others in a myriad of ways online that we would never have the opportunity or speed with which to do otherwise.  But as The Social Network writer Aaron Sorkin recently said: “Socializing on the Internet is to socializing what reality TV is to reality.” so we must use it wisely.

Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks made it work for them… But as in anything else,  with all the choices at our disposal, we need to be balanced in our communications diet. Writing can be preferable to talking for the clarity it contains when  time and thought has gone into it, and putting feelings – which are often the most difficult to convey- on ‘paper’  or in a image or song, can often carry more meaning in that form.  And sometimes you just need to pick up the phone.

So if you’re not sure what, when, where, why or how to say what you need to say or want to develop more of your offline relationships rather than online ‘friends’, just give me a buzz, and I will help you with the write stuff that truly delivers when you need it the most.

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