Archives for posts with tag: motherhood

The other half of the question of what there is to celebrate is what mothered and mothers you, how you mother yourself, how you celebrate and recognize what cares for you and takes care of you, and what you care for in return. — Rebecca Solnit

On this day and forever more, we will be reminded that peace is not just the absence of war. It is the presence of mothering. — Gloria Steinem

Because I knew in my early 20s I did not want to become a mother in the traditional/noun sense, I’ve never felt left out of Mother’s Day. As a human being, I have a right to this choice; however, as a woman in the 21st century, I do not take this for granted and I’m ever-grateful for the time, culture and place I live in, as well as for those who have fought for and given their lives in order for me to exercise this right without (much) prejudice or persecution.

I’ve also never felt left out because of much of what Gloria writes here. I have never given birth to or chosen to adopt and be responsible for the survival and well-being of another human, which is unfathomable to me — I give all of you who do so tremendous credit and am in complete awe of the undertaking. But I have experienced, and continue to experience, mothering the verb in so many ways.

I gave birth to The Women’s Mosaic and took care of it for over 10 years; I birthed a book of 131 essays and I’m creating more PGGs every month (I think this might be one … !). [Update: And in April 2022 I birthed a potent pocket-sized book of affirmations].

I felt like a mother worrying about a teenage daughter when my mom was out partying and having fun with the boys late at night, then experienced caregiving when she was too ill to take care of herself, then honored and cared for her possessions when she was gone.

Over the past 15 years and counting, I have been a mentor and provider of loving guidance to the growth and development of countless interns, volunteers and clients, who are often young enough to be my sons or daughters, and I consider many of them as such, regardless of their age. I like to think that I’m a nurturing friend and sibling, and I care deeply for those who are in my life. I feel a responsibility for and have dedicated my life to contributing to peace and harmony on the planet in whatever way I can.

But most important, and especially having gone through the loss of both parents now, I am constantly giving birth to myself — I have learned, and continue to learn, how to take care of my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual needs and to give myself permission to express the fullest version of who I am, which is a work in progress.

Mothering oneself and others is essential to both inner and outer peace, so no matter who you are, or what your status or gender, all of us can strive for and celebrate being the best mothers we can be.

Read the inspiration for this post from Gloria Steinem’s MOTHER AS A VERB post here

Read Rebecca Solnit’s (quoted above) post about Mother’s Day here

Today’s PGG was orginally published on May 10, 2016.

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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

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In that famous scene from the movie about Joan Crawford, the renowned actress declares in a rage to her daughter Christina, “No wire hangers — ever!”

Hopefully you did not grow up with that kind of extreme abusive relationship, but it is not so farfetched to think that as an adult you might be treating yourself like Cinderella’s evil stepmother on steroids from time to time, subtly, overtly or subconsciously beating yourself up about the most trivial or significant things. Until we recognize and do something about it, we are often our own harshest critics when we need to be our most compassionate caregivers.

Do you speak nicely and are kind to yourself, especially in that tape that runs in your head? Do you take care of your body by eating healthy when you’re hungry, dressing appropriately for the weather, getting enough sleep, nursing yourself when sick, exercising, resting and playing on a regular basis? Do you allow yourself to express any emotion you are feeling — anger, sadness, frustration, joy, laughter — in an appropriate and timely manner? (Meaning, don’t walk around emotionally constipated!) And especially if you are a mother of young children, responsible for an aging parent, a teacher, healing professional or assumed the role of ‘official’ caregiver, are you taking care of yourself as much as you take care of others?

Or perhaps on some level you operate like a neglected ‘orphan’, walking around searching outside yourself, doing anything for that feeling of warmth and nurturing (or a continuation of it if you did have it as a child). The bottom line is that we can’t rely on someone else — spouse, partner, boyfriend/girlfriends, parents- to provide this for us; as mature adults (which has nothing to do with age) we should strive to be emotionally, physically, financially, and intellectually self-sufficient, and most importantly, loving towards ourselves.

Whether or not you had a positive experience with whoever raised you, learn to nurture yourself as if you were your own precious child. When we are able to mother ourselves, it becomes a lot easier to give and receive love and compassion with those closest to us, and even with strangers. It doesn’t matter if you are ill, out of work, frustrated with a relationship or the state of the world – if we each commit to healing ourselves and take responsibility for our own well-being, we will begin to see positive change around us in big and small ways.

And to all the men out there, gender doesn’t matter — we each have a gentle feminine nature within us that we can call upon and develop, just like we also have a macho warrior spirit!

So tonight when you go to bed, tuck in that little girl or boy within you, maybe drink some tea, read a story and tell yourself you are sublimely cherished and grateful for all that you are, because as Lenny Kravitz’s Mama said “Your life is a gift” and “Love’s all that matters.”

Today’s PGG was originally posted on March 12, 2013

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CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG eNEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your mailbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Read over 100 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

Facebook
Twitter
Instagram
LinkedIn
YouTube

Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express

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