There’s just me. ~ Jill Scott

The number one has always garnered a lot of attention — all that talk about the 1%, who came in first place and what or who gets to be number one on which list.

It only takes one person to change the world (for good or bad), and whether conscious of it or not, we all strive to have those blissful moments of becoming one with something or someone outside ourselves; it can happen with your loved one, but also with your dance partner, your paintbrush, your horse, your golf club, your violin, with Nature and the whole of humanity.

We also need to take care number one, because if you don’t who will? How can you help anyone else if you haven’t first cared for yourself? And hey, if you’re happy there’s a much greater chance of everyone around you being happy too, just like the pebble thrown in a pond whose ripples go out far beyond…

One doesn’t have to be the Loneliest Number, because at the end of the day you’re the only one you’ve got — no one else can inhabit your body, mind and spirit and experience your challenges and successes. You are ultimately responsible for your joy and fulfillment, how you relate to the world and make the most of what you’ve been given.

We only have One Live to Live, so how can you know and love who you are and what you think, feel and desire if you don’t spend some quality alone time with yourself on a regular basis?

The proverbial saying tells us a journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step, so now is as potent a time as any to finally make some effort, take some action towards a goal or way of being that you want to achieve and/or be open to discover new, unimagined opportunities and vistas that may bring you out of your comfort zone but closer to your best life.

As Bono sings, we’re One, but we’re not the same; we’ve got to carry each other, so give me a buzz and I’ll help you figure out how there’s just One in a Million You, show you what should be Numero Uno in your life right now and move you towards feeling One Love more than ever!

(Today’s PGG was originally published on November 8, 2011)

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As a holistic coach, speaker and writer, I look at the big picture and connect dots for a living, observing things from many vantage points to get to the root of whatever is at hand. My coaching and speaking helps get folks unstuck, find their paths in career and life, and trust that if they do that, the world will be better off as a result. My writing takes into consideration the current events and zeitgeist of the day and attempts to make sense of it in a way that acknowledges you are not alone, advances our individual and collective evolution, and encourages positive change in the world.

My degree is in International Relations (a combination of history, political science, economics and geography), so I have always had a global interest, outlook and understanding. (For more about me, read All Roads Same Place) My intention with all my PGG essays is to be thought-provoking and allow you to see things from a different perspective. I want to empower you in how to think, not what to think.

Much of my work also has to do with getting you out of your head and into your heart and gut — where real wisdom lies — so you can know what feels right, what RESONATES, which bypasses any external programming fed directly into your noggin.

All of which is to say, it is in this spirit that I share this PGG with you today.

For over two months now I have watched, observed, researched and looked at our current situation from many different angles, using a variety of primary and secondary sources as well as my own ability — both innate and developed over years of doing this work — to recognize patterns and read between the lines. SO, as I write this on May 7, 2020, I offer this conclusion as food for thought to ponder, and to use to draw your own:

Click here to read the full post on Medium

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Tell me what’s wrong with having a little faith in what you’re feelin’ in your heart. ~ The Dixie Chicks (via Patty Griffin)

I try not to think as much as possible. This serves me well for many reasons. First of all, I am somewhat dyslexic, so the more I stay out of my head, the clearer things are for me. And forget about speaking; whenever I do my seminars what I say has to come from my heart and gut, otherwise I would get super-confused and choke from stage fright and the fear of sounding stupid. I have learned to operate this way more and more; it reduces stress by keeping me connected to myself and in the flow of life, in harmony with who I am and what I need or want at any given moment. It is the best motivational, decision-making and communications tool I possess, because I have harnessed and developed it as such.

In the movie Jerry Maguire, Tom Cruise confronts Cuba Gooding, Jr. about why he has not yet been offered a $10 million dollar contract, citing that the way he is off the field is how he needs to be on the field. “You play with your head, not your heart. in your personal life? Heart….Play the game, play it from your heart and you know what, I will show you the kwan. That’s the truth man, can you handle it?” Jerry knew that if Rod did what he loved with love, then, and only then, would he be able to show him the money.

And that doesn’t just hold true in the movies. Steve Tisch, a proud owner of the NY Giants, declared that the key to their big victory this past weekend was that they ” …played with more heart, more passion, and more love for each other and for the game of football.” Does that negate, replace, or even diminish all the hard work, training, strategy, talent and skill necessary to achieve such great heights? No, of course not. But it’s the thing that will make the difference between a good team and a great team, a good life and a great one.

Most of us are taught to live by our heads, logic and ego, not by our hearts and guts. But only when we listen to our hearts and put love into everything are we our most authentic selves, which means living our truth. And when we are living our truth, we can then more easily speak our truth, and stand in our truth. And that is the best way to guarantee peace and prosperity in our lives, no matter what the circumstances.

Million dollar contract, Lombardi Trophy or not, we are all players the Super Bowl of Life — so are you playing with your head or your heart? Give me a buzz and I’ll make sure that unlike Tom Cruise in his confrontation with Jack Nicholson, you can indeed handle the truth and start living in alignment with who you are and what you want to make happen both on the field and off!

(Today’s PGG was originally published on February 7, 2012)

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Hello

I love myself

We are so happy to be alive

I love my life

Our lives are great

We love ourselves

We love being alive

“I Love My Life” ~ Song & lyrics by Zachary Miles Lefkowitz, age four and a half, September, 2013

When at a wake recently with my 14-year-old nephew, I recalled to him the time he was about to turn four and I asked if he was excited about his upcoming birthday. He began to cry hysterically saying he didn’t want to have any birthdays. This was because he spent a lot of time around my ailing grandmother who had just passed away in her 80’s and he made the very astute observation that getting older means you are one step closer to dying.

I asked now what it was about death that bothered him most. He did not hesitate for even a second and simply, and very seriously, said “Because you won’t have the exhilarating feeling of being alive.”

I thought this was a profound answer as folks around us were suffering with the loss of our loved one; Jake homed right in on the crux of the matter: We are alive, and we should experience and treasure every moment that aliveness brings us.

Over the weekend I had my first massage in over two years, and it really brought home to me these conversations in the most basic and visceral of ways. Being alive means we are here, in a very physical body in a very physical world. Our body is our vehicle to experience all that life has to offer, so we need to love, appreciate, and take care of it — and, we are also here with other human beings we are meant to love, appreciate, and take care of in a physical way.

Most of us tend to live in our heads and are quite disconnected from our bodies and/or emotions. Getting a massage — whether by a therapist or having a friend or family member give you a little hands-on tender loving care — affirms our beingness, our aliveness, and our connection to and need for one another. Numerous studies have documented the necessity of touch, especially for newborns and the elderly; it is literally what keeps them alive and determines their health and longevity.

Diana Ross famously sang, “Reach out and touch somebody’s hand / Make this world a better place, if you can.” If you’re lucky, you have close relationships where you can exchange physical, affectionate touch on a regular basis. If not, there are lots of alternatives like hugs and various forms of bodywork you can receive from others in appropriate ways and settings.

And sometimes the most special touch can come from a stranger , like from the tourist in Bryant Park over the summer who, while having her photo taken nearby sensed/saw me distraught and crying (even though I thought I was incognito with my sunglasses, hair covering my face and downward glance!), and in one of the most generous, kind moments I have ever experienced, gently put her reassuring, healing hand on my shoulder for a few seconds as she walked by, saying with that one gesture, “I see you, I feel your pain; I don’t know you, speak your language or know why you are upset, but I am here to offer you what comfort I can as a fellow human being.”

So as we go further down this technological highway with its isolating side effects and embark upon the holiday season with the increasing commercial madness it brings, remember the basics: you are here, we are here, let’s love our lives and love one another, and demonstrate that love and compassion in the most tangible and meaningful ways possible.

Not quite sure how? Give me a buzz, because like Robin Thicke reminds us: I got it. You got it. We got the magic touch.

(Today’s PGG was orginally published on December 3, 2013)

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It’s vitally important for us to check our bias/the lens through which we are viewing and processing the current situation.

We have been conditioned for a while now to look at things as black or white/ good or bad/ red or blue / us or them.

We’ve also been told to trust scientists and data at face value as if they were god/ gods/ panacea/an absolute to be heeded and worshiped.

In politics or on Madison Avenue — where data/polls/ads in mainstream media are used to influence us — graphs, numbers and presentations can be manipulated and framed to create any story they want. That’s their tool to drive behavior.

And that’s why with every “scientific study,” you need to see who is FUNDING it and what is the outcome they are trying to push or prove. What is the narrative they want to focus on, for what gain and for whom? Who is financially supporting the experts, institutions and media outlets and what is their agenda (i.e., just like politicians)?

Don’t get lost in the spin from either side — whether it looks like obvious spin, facts or fake news. Stay neutral and open so we can be more clear-minded and united.

We are living in a world of bank robbers, drug dealers, gang turf wars, rogue actors, impostors and mercenaries fighting battles with each other, with us as collateral damage and commodities to be gained or lost. That is the underlying plot of this movie we’re experiencing right now.

I am so very grateful for the truly good, sincere people doing their best to fight for all of us. And I’m beyond thankful for all the people who are left to deal with the horrific mess and results of the main protagonists of this script’s actions and plans.

I am deeply concerned about the collective trauma being experienced by our society but likely won’t even be recognized for months and years to come, especially from those on the front lines. I am beyond sad about those who are dying alone and without a proper send-off to the other side, and for all those who are affected by such a loss.

People want definitive answers — yesterday. We want a pill or an app to fix everything for us. We want a villain and a hero. And we want a savior. This, I think, is one of the most dangerous places to be as a society, because that kind of thinking keeps us dis-empowered and divided. It usurps our own agency and ability to think and act for ourselves in an insightful way and to see the whole picture.

Therefore, the most important thing we can do right now is work on building ourselves up INTERNALLY in body, mind and spirit so that we can make educated, unbiased, intuitive, discerning decisions for ourselves that come from a place of STRENGTH, not FEAR. And not from being spoon-fed what we are being told in each of our “bubbles.”

We need to sharpen our critical faculties and find the inner authority to navigate this situation and look at all aspects through a wider, nonpartisan lens. And a holistic one. (I.e., why aren’t the media or governments talking about ways to boost your immunity??)

In other words, most of the time things are gray and complex; sometimes the supposed villains are the heroes, and those we put on pedestals are the ones causing the problems. Sometimes people can be both at the same time. Sometimes up is down and down is up. Sometimes things are not at all what we think they are. And sometimes, things we never assumed or imagined to be connected indeed are.

So I encourage you to keep an open mind and not let your vitriol for “the other side” color your assessment of what’s happening and the solutions being put forth. That is the only way we are going to get through this crisis with the least amount of damage and loss, not just of life and income, but of our rights, integrity and sanity.

We must each take responsibility for a more balanced and sober approach to understanding and getting to the truth of all this as much as possible. We can then do what is right for ourselves — which will not be one size fits all — from a place that is not based in fear or believing what is told to us unquestioningly, nor policed by each other or peer pressure.

We are living in the Wild West right now and need as many underdogs and nobodies to step into their power and embrace their gifts to the world — we ALL have something to contribute, even if it’s just our own conscious, healed life. This is just the beginning. There are more of us than there are of them. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

I’ve been focused on spreading positivity and helping folks get through this time from a personal-growth perspective. Part of that is about helping us stay aware and be empowered to think for ourselves and make the best of this situation with the least amount of suffering, and without losing our innate humanity — both toward ourselves and others — or our essential freedoms. That will take effort and focus. Please don’t forget that and do your part, in addition to washing hands and wearing masks.

By having the courage to evolve or change our mindset and perspective and have more respect for ourselves and each other, we will be better off in every way, in every area of our life, in our country and the world at large.

*Click here for PGG newsletter with introductory note to this essay

New Testament or Old, Facebook fan of Moses or Jesus, you don’t have to be a religious person to extract some nuggets of truth from any of them.

As someone who founded an organization with the tagline “Recognizing Our Unity; Celebrating Our Diversity,” I’m always trying to see the things we share in common that are in places we often think are so different, especially if you look at it through the right lens with the right attitude.

This time of year we are reminded of some good ‘ole fashioned foundations of personal growth — trust (in oneself, others and in something bigger than oneself), faith, perseverance, forgiveness, liberation, rebirth. Without their official branding, the Ten Commandments and Golden Rule can offer you some guidelines for a happy and fulfilling life, if you just think of them as good advice from a friend or coach. Or even a TV commercial.

Be open to wisdom and inspiration no matter what form they take, and like wearing those 3-D glasses at the movie theater, learn to view things from many perspectives.

This is one of my personal specialties; I can look at the same thing that you do and see something completely different, turn it upside down, or see how it might be more or less significant than you think it is. I can connect all the dots between things that might seem totally unrelated and help you understand whatever epic journey you’re on.

Not sure how to get started? Give me buzz and I’ll put the Spring back your step, help you cross your Red Sea, own or reclaim your personal passions, and feel refreshed and ready to take on the world in a wholy-er way!

In 1981, the advent of something called Music Television (yes kids, that was MTV in the olden days) meant that Video Killed the Radio Star. Although the sentiment initially applied to the music industry, it has evolved to include our 24/7, multi-device-always-on entertainment/info news cycle, and delivery of much nonsense and nuttiness through a gazillion distribution channels both online and off. The combination of media and technology is a powerful force that can either enhance or erode our humanity, but with the direction we’re going in, it seems like video has killed our sanity.

In a way, we’ve always been our own little radio towers with what we think and feel, but now we are literally transmitting these thoughts and feelings in a more tangible way with our gadgets and gizmos. What are you receiving and what are you broadcasting? How is it impacting your state of mind and mood?

What do you tune in to on a daily basis? Which intoxicating sights, sounds and stories infiltrate your being: cat videos, pundits, housewives, serial murders, frenemies? I admit I enjoy a little Mickey D’s now and then, but like Morgan Spurlock, remember what happens to you when you ingest that all day, every day. If we are what we eat (and we are), then we are what we read, watch and listen to as well. In the smorgasbord of programming out there, the pickings are slim when it comes to nutrition. Whether TV or social media, strive for the majority of your consumption to be thoughtful, uplifting, educational and/or informative, and know that good comedy is actually medicine.

(P.S. I hear there are some quality series that exist — but it’s curious we’ve coined the term to “binge-watch” say, Game of Thrones or Breaking Bad. What does that do to your sensory digestive system? What kind of hangover would you have from that? How could you have used your time and energy in a more productive way? When you are cranky the next day, is it due to your emotions or Walter White’s?)

I am not anti-TV/media/technology. I say all things in moderation. The trick is to become conscious and not be spoon-fed whatever the suits and advertisers want us to eat! Try a TV fast and realize you’re not missing all that much. You’ll have time to sleep more, learn to cook or finally begin to meditate. It’s up to us to control our technology and not allow our technology to control us.

So if you’re dragging in the morning, think about what you watched on your screen the night before. If you can’t get any work done or fall asleep, how many hours did you allow yourself to be led astray via random Facebook or Twitter feeds? And what it is that you are creating or contributing with your Wi-Fi and widgets?

In an increasingly desensitized and distracted world, with so many folks feeling stuck, confused and frustrated in their career and life, and with so many searching for purpose and meaning, wanting to enjoy better health and relationships in their lives, we must constantly pull out the weeds of static in and around our thoughts and emotions in order to operate at a higher frequency and create the best environment for ourselves and others.

Much of what is on television and the Internet these days is white noise, so protect yourself with some radio silence. Not quite sure how to detach from the media madness? Give me a buzz — I’ll help you march to the beat of your own drum in harmony with the independent soundtrack of your soul and keep away the Karma Police, who are there to remind you that you always have a choice.

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(Today’s PGG was originally published on January 8, 2015)

Spring has finally sprung! Everywhere you look, flowers and trees are blooming up a storm — the colorful symphony of tulips, lilacs, daffodils, cherry blossoms and dogwoods are waking up the city from its cold, long winter slumber, filling us with gorgeous eye candy and reminding us of the new possibilities that exist within and around us.

It’s such a fleeting moment; it only seems to last a week or two, so it’s now or never to take notice and appreciate the beauty and magic while it exists. This is a perfect time to pay attention to the prettiest new little things around you, and to celebrate these glorious gifts of Nature.

Beauty is one of the greatest pleasures in life, and a flower is one of the simplest and most tangible expressions of it. If you can’t soak up all that is staring you in the face right now, then how will you recognize and appreciate the more subtle beauty within and around you throughout the year?

In New York City we tend to rush from here to there, with our noses in our smartphones or blinders on as we think about whatever, when what we really need to do in those transitional times throughout the day is stop and smell the roses, literally and figuratively. Slowing down, taking a few deep breaths and becoming aware of your surroundings, especially when they are so lovely, is a great cure for stress and anxiety. I’m sure that if you just try it, like Mikey, you’ll like it!

Feeling a little curmudgeonly with all this zip-a-dee-doo-dah talk? Try spending some time enjoying the season and give me a buzz, I’ll help get things goin’ your way again…

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(Today’s PGG was originally published on April 13, 2010)

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. ~ Alan Watts

Just keep in mind: The more we value things outside our control, the less control we have. ~ Epictetus

In June of 2012 my mother had open heart surgery. After the ordeal, the only thing she kept saying she wanted, and her ultimate goal, was to “get back to the way things were before.” But when something that major happens to your physical body — literally cracking open your rib cage to access the main organ that keeps you alive, replacing a valve and rewiring some blood vessels — things cannot, and should not, go back to being the “same.” It’s impossible. First of all, as a lifesaving measure, your body should be functioning much better, which for her, initially it was.

However, because my mother was unwilling to integrate the larger message of healing, she clung too hard to her old ways, with no real lifestyle changes, mental rewiring or emotional processing. Three years later, almost exactly to the day of her operation, she succumbed to a different disease, compounded and/or induced by stress, and is no longer with us on this planet.

I share this as an analogy of where we are right now as a country, society, and world at large. No matter how we got here, this is our open-heart-surgery moment. We have, perhaps, the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to transform ourselves both individually and collectively in order to be more optimally attuned and functioning better.

I realize that all might sound a bit dramatic, but I do believe this is the time we are in, even if we are only getting glimpses of the road ahead. As a species we have been out of balance and alignment in many areas of life, so whether this crisis is a natural occurrence we need to respond to urgently, or a manufactured one used to manipulate, oppress or profit off us, there can be no doubt it’s a wake-up call — a dismantling that on some level we needed and perhaps even subconsciously asked for to make us stronger from the inside out. It’s that big. And no one is exempt.

Now I never said this would be easy.

We are barely out of the “shock and awe” stage of this war/marathon, and you might not even totally grasp what is happening or what is yet to come. You may not fully realize that the life you had is in the process of transforming, which by its very nature means something must die in order to be reborn. And as author and lecturer Gregg Braden reminds us, there are five stages of grief we go through, some of them simultaneously. Which do you currently find yourself in: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression or Acceptance?

Because we don’t yet know the specifics, and there is still so much unknown of how this will all shake out, our mind/egos can start wreaking havoc and wanting to rebel against the lack of certainty in myriad ways. The good news is the one thing you can subdue your anxiety with is the knowledge that every challenge provides an opportunity. Every cloud has a silver lining. Destruction makes way for reconstruction. Something positive always comes out of something negative. As one door closes, another one opens. Something lost, something gained. And, as the old saying goes, “You are never given more than you can handle.”

When the dust settles from this demolition of the reality you once knew, you can start to think about how to restructure your life, your health, your work, your interpersonal relations, and your relationship to both inner and outer authority. You will start to understand more profoundly what you do and do not value, then act accordingly.

By now you’ve probably gotten a taste of what this new reality looks like for you — at least in the near future — with whom you’ll be experiencing it and how. For months now I’ve said to friends (half) jokingly, that I’ve been living in a hermitage, more self-isolated than usual due to some deep personal changes I have been going through. So now I can say to all of you, “Welcome to my world!”

I realize not everyone will have as easy as a transition with this pandemic-induced lifestyle change, i.e., especially if you are partnered, with kids, and now all working and schooling from home. Or if you have problematic roommates and family members with whom your interaction until now has remained minimal. Or if you usually use your abode only as a storage closet and place to rest your head at night because it leaves much to be desired …

Just as addicts need rehab, prisoners get house arrest/prison/solitary, and spiritual seekers and others need periodic retreats, remember those sites act as a container for transformation — made easier with some level of acceptance — whether they’ve come to that situation voluntarily or not. Ultimately, we must find the meaning and experience the feeling of being at home within ourselves, regardless of our environment.

For now, notice that this slowing down and containment forces us to focus on the quality, not the quantity of what we do and how we use our time, and with whom we spend (or don’t spend) it. What is the quality of the food you eat, the quality of the thoughts you think, the quality of the information you are consuming, the air that you breathe, the moments that you have? What about the quality of your communication and relationships? You now have time to do that journaling and think about who you are and what you are doing with your life. Who do you want to be and what do you want to do in a post-corona world? How can you build a quality inner foundation for yourself?

In my lectures, I always talk about how we need to take responsibility for our lives, our own happiness, no matter what the outer circumstances may be. Because it’s those very circumstances that we cannot control; but what we can control is our response. We have the ability to respond. The outcome in any situation, and the relative suffering we may or may not experience, is based on our response. So what will yours be today?

Not quite sure how to make this quarantine one of quality, not quantity? Give me a buzz and I’ll help you see the value of working on your inner Home Sweet Home so that you can build a palace worthy of your own glorious personal crown, not a corona of virus that keeps you down!

Please note: I realize there is part of the population who will be working harder than ever outside the home on the front lines; others will have extreme financial hardship and/or are stranded abroad. I want to acknowledge and profoundly thank those essentials folks for your hard work and service, express empathy for those most severely economically and physically affected, and encourage you to trust there is a silver lining and much growth to be had for you as well at this time, it just might have a different “container” than I referred to above …

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