Although I am not Cuban, I have had two personal experiences with Fidel Castro, so his passing has brought up lots of memories…

The first one is very Forrest Gump-like and a bit insane; you’ll have to buy me a drink and hear that story in person 😉

The second is when I went to the UN World Conference Against Racism in Durban, South Africa in 2001, right before 9/11. One of my motivations for embarking on this crazy solo trip was that the closing ceremony was supposed to feature a keynote by Nelson Mandela.

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(Today’s PGG was originally published on my personal Facebook page on November 26, 2016)

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When author and self-help/relationship guru Iyanla Vanzant was asked what her prayer is, she answered that she had three. The first one is “Help!” The second is “Help Now!” And the third is: “Thank you.”

Especially during stressful times, it’s good to keep that superpower (as I described it to my ninth-graders in Life Class) in your back pocket to use throughout the day and cultivate and attitude of gratitude as part of your overall MO.  Many studies and notable folks have promoted the benefits and magic that the energy of gratitude unleashes; whether writing a daily list, speaking it to others in your life, or silently acknowledging everything you are thankful for as they arise in and around you, gratitude opens your heart and is the best way to celebrate your life, stay grounded and reduce your stress no matter what.

Yes, we all know that Oprah keeps a gratitude journal, but even tough guy media mogul and bison king Ted Turner, in some of his darkest hours in the midst of a huge corporate mess and painful divorce, said that’s what kept him going. Every night before he went to sleep he would think about everything in life he was grateful for, and that helped get him through to another day.

Of course it’s easy to be grateful when things are going your way, got lucky or you prayers were answered, but what about in the midst of a difficult situation or for the things we take for granted and hardly even notice anymore? It’s not always easy when you’re in the moment, but just try breaking out some appreciation when dealing with serious challenges and/or their aftermath (i.e. taking care of a sick/aging parent, being laid off from your job, breaking up with a longtime partner, facing a debilitating illness or physical disaster), and focus on whatever good the situation is allowing you to experience right then and there. Remember to think about other hard times you’ve gone through in the past – in hindsight you were always glad they happened, right?

There are so many ways and moments that we can use gratitude, not the least of which is in our everyday interactions – whether with friends, family, foe or stranger, the common courtesies of “please” and “thank you” go a long way and are indeed deposits in the gratitude account. And the little things and everyday surroundings we take for granted are not to be overlooked; this truly is the stuff of life: “Thank you for the roof over my head, my functioning brain, my ability to dance and listen to music, all the work I’ve done on myself to get to this point. The fresh air, sunshine and easy access to the ocean as well as to the mountains; the rain that makes the leaves green and the air that those leaves create so I can breathe; for the good friends and people who support me and make me laugh…” you get the idea.

It’s even become automatic now that when I sit down to eat a meal, I briefly pause to silently give thanks for the fact that I have food before me and appreciate the nourishment it provides, the miracle of Nature, the variety of options available to me; for all the hard work it took to get it here; the people at the farmer’s market and grocery store; the fact that I had the money buy it and my ability to cook, see, smell, taste and digest it; for the pleasure it gives me. It takes only a few seconds to encompass that recognition and all of those thoughts into one acknowledging feeling, because when you really think about it, it truly is a blessing. (P.S. I LOVE food.)

And, as a professional coach, I am beyond grateful to all my clients, who trust me with your time, energy, journey and dollars, and allow me the opportunity to do something I truly love that helps you grow and heal your lives, which in turn has helped me to grow and heal mine.  And for my PGG readers who allow me to express myself in a creative way that you find beneficial and entertaining:  Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

It’s true that ” What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” so if you can’t quite see the silver lining in the clouds around you, give me a buzz and I’ll help you taste the rainbow of your life.

Wishing you and your family peace and abundance this Thanksgiving holiday and beyond!

(Today’s PGG was originally published on July 8, 2014)

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One of the things I learned when I was negotiating was that until I changed myself, I could not change others .~ Nelson Mandela

Revolution is the evolution of humans into a higher humanity. ~ Grace Lee Boggs

Those of you who know me or have been reading PGG for a while are aware that my passion and mission in life has always been to contribute to world peace, mostly through my work best expressed in my mantra that personal transformation is the key to social transformation.

So it should come as no surprise that I profoundly relate to and revere the lives of these two nonagenarians, Nelson Mandela who died last week at age 95, and the 98-year-old* activist and author Grace Lee Boggs. They literally embody this philosophy in every cell of their beings; they have demonstrated it externally with their activism and sacrifice for racial equality and social justice, and internally by the wisdom they have gained and generously share from nearly a century of experience, observation, and, most importantly, reflection.

Both started out as “radicals”, and were branded as terrorists with the requisite FBI/CIA files (Mandela was even on the US terrorism watch list until 2008!) because they initially saw the only way to overthrow the entrenched power structure was by employing the more literal and sometimes violent tactics of revolution through organized movements and a spirit of rebellion. But through trial and error, incarceration, and maturity, they eventually evolved; they gave themselves permission to change their minds, learn and grow in light of new information, experimentation and once again, reflection – ultimately coming to the conclusion that in order to change the world, they would have to change themselves.

They came to understand that indeed humanity is made up of humans and that humans were going to have to deal with other humans in order to get anything done. So we’d better be the best we can be as individuals and try to get along and get past our differences and disagreements, because the reality is that we must co-exist harmoniously – whether in a racially divided African country, a rundown bankrupt American city, or in your very own household.

We are living in extraordinary times, and it is no accident that you are who you are at this moment in history.

What does your humanity mean to you?  As our world continues to go through turbulent changes and upheavals, it will be up to us individually and collectively to do our part to “tear down” where necessary and rebuild a more enlightened society that reflects our evolved humanity.  But we have to start with ourselves and do what we can in our immediate environments to demonstrate our own revolution – which, by the way, does not happen overnight or with a magic pill, silver bullet, or special app.

Only through keen observation, deep reflection, and inner and outer sweating effort and energy over a long period of time directed towards improving ourselves and serving others that true transformation can take place. Then, if we’re lucky, by the time we reach our 90’s we can look back and see how our journey has positively and productively unfolded in both a personal and political way, and be proud of what we accomplished and the legacy we will leave behind.

Wondering how it will all go down if you take up the cause? Give me a buzz and I will incite a riot in your heart to make the most of what you got, so at the end of the day you know it’s gonna be alright. 

(Today’s PGG was originally published on December 13, 2013)

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Two years ago, after a series of health problems and other major stresses had taken a toll on her, my mother was diagnosed with cancer.  Like anyone who has been through this, there are lots of ways it could have played out depending on a variety of factors.

Initially she was given a good prognosis based on the normal course of her particular kind of disease; you listen to what the experts say and hang on to that when the news is good.  But when you take into consideration so many other factors that have nothing to do with visible symptoms, textbook analysis or testing you see a different picture, and understand it to be a much different reality than what you are being told or hope it could be. Even though deep down you know the truth, you keep yourself in a little bit of denial for self-preservation, because that’s the only way you could get through it.

The following period was one of the most painful, challenging times in my life, as she went through eight months of suffering, a tense roller coaster ride filled with glimmers of upswings and moments of despair. But the underlying feeling, whether any of us wanted to admit it or not, was she was not going to make it, and at the end of June last year she passed away. Even though we knew it was coming, when it actually happens you are still in shock and have to process and digest it, grieve the loss and deal with all the collateral consequences of such an event.

I bring this up to you now because it is the best analogy to describe how I felt when the results came in Tuesday night.  For me, and in my observation of so many, the day after the election was a National Day of Mourning. Because although the GOP candidate technically won, our country as a whole lost, not just because of how close it was, but how split apart and divided we are as a result. Amplified by technology and media, we feel this more viscerally than ever.

Unlike many of my friends and others who opposed and then were shell-shocked by the announcement of our new President-elect, I had seen this coming since the summer, slowly and steadily building with a ferocity and stalwartness that you would have never guessed if you only went by the mainstream media. I paid close attention to the backstory and aftermath of Brexit, recognizing a mirror image of ourselves across the pond, and had a terrible sinking feeling in my stomach when it happened. I paid attention to the worldwide trend towards nationalism. I opened my ears and eyes as wide as possible, kept coming across non-stereotypical supporters and noticed traditionally assumed liberal outings and locales were populated by more “Make America Great Again” t-shirts and hats than I would have imagined.

In an effort to understand how this was happening, I observed and sometime interacted with people outside my circle, read articles and watched un-sarcastic straightforward reporting of why they were for this individual; I read the often pain-filled, hateful comments and tweets on articles with biases on every side of the spectrum, and as heartbreaking and difficult as it was, and now even more so continues to be, chose not to un-follow, block or delete any of my FB friends and family who posted about the then Republican nominee, (many of who are now coming out of the shadows and gloating in their win without any empathy for the fear that so many are experiencing as a result). I made an effort, and will continue to make an effort, to engage thoughtfully with them when possible – because if we can’t reach out and be civil to the people in our own sphere of influence, the rest of the nation is doomed. 

After gathering all of this “data”, and seeing that the debates and late-breaking scandals did not change their positions an inch, to me, the writing was on the wall, and if it was not going to be an outright win for them, this would be very, very close.  Like with my mother’s illness, I was not surprised at the outcome, but held out hope and stayed in a little denial in order to keep myself from really going there until I absolutely had to.  And here we are.

Obviously, if you voted for the person who won, you are likely not experiencing this, and I’m sure are more than content with your candidate’s victory.  As I wrote on my Facebook page on Wednesday though, regardless of why you might have voted that way, this change indeed came at a very big cost, because the man elected also carries with him the promotion, glorification and inflaming of bigotry, racism, misogyny, sexual assault, xenophobia, Islamophobia, bullying etc., and if you were one of his supporters I implore you to please do your part to mitigate the horrendous side effects and collateral consequences your vote has set in motion by speaking out often and with conviction against these things, and demonstrate the opposite of what he exemplified and modeled in his campaign.

I learned a lot in my “research”, and was reminded that no voting block is a monolith, especially since we are such a diverse nation; with traditionally only two parties, this in itself was understandably the cause of much discontent and frustration.  There are legitimate reasons for everyone to have wanted change.  If I was a career coach working exclusively in many of the rural areas or depressed industrial towns, it would indeed be more difficult for me to do my job.  Other folks succumbed to fear-mongering and scapegoating. Others were just disgusted with the whole process. The media did not offer  equal, broad or totally impartial coverage, nor did they make it easy for anyone to get the straight story about anything. People on the left, right, and in everywhere in between expressed themselves through anger, sarcasm, name-calling, and even violence, and are continuing to do so.

Most people found it more comfortable and comforting to stay in their own bubble and feel good about themselves in their own echo chamber.  What I did took time, intention, and much restraint. It did not feel good being exposed to so much I find distasteful or flat out wrong, but as a citizen living in (what will still hopefully be) a democracy, I felt it was my duty, and will continue to stretch beyond my choir, and at the very least listen, not respond by yelling or attacking, and either politely agree to disagree, and at best find a way to some mutual understanding and acceptance.

Those on every side need to understand not everyone is like them, nor thinks the same way or wants the same way of life, but that does not have to come at each others’ expense. We must call out our own when they are being intolerant or feeding into stereotypes. And we must make sure our rights are not violated or suppressed. This will take vigilance and courage. But then again, we are the home of the brave, right?

The reality is that we cannot go backwards, we must move forwards and come to some compromise as to what that forward should be. How are we going to do that? What can you to make yourself stronger and more perceptive? Your community better? Yourself more accepting of anyone who is different or “other”? How can you become a master listener? How can you use your career to serve others simply by doing what you are meant to do and brings you a sense of peace and fulfillment? How can you step out of your bubble, especially on social media, and when you can, in person?

Last month I wrote about the end of an era and a sense of displacement in my PGG Stranger in a Strange Land. Things now feel as strange as ever, and it’s about to get even stranger.  I’m hoping that this is the breakdown our country needs in order to have a breakthrough; how poetic it is that Leonard Cohen, who I quoted in Let the Sun Shine In, died yesterday:  “There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” It’s up to us to create a new reality that deems everyone equally valuable and allows each other to thrive.

My apologies to any of you I may have offended by offering my viewpoints on such a personal matter, but more than ever we need to share our experiences and perspectives with one another in a safe, grounded and open-minded manner, because that is the only way we will find out that we actually have more in common than we think. This is a revolutionary act that is not partisan, it’s patriotic.        

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Throughout the Halloween season we are bombarded with spooky images and haunted houses to remind us it’s that time of year to face our deepest fears.

But the majority of things that frightens us isn’t conjured from external forces. Like the creepiness that comes from being in a house of mirrors, what usually freaks people out the most is seeing themselves multiplied a hundred times!

When in your own personal house of horrors, no matter how many cobwebs and shadows you find, know that we all have darker aspects of our personality, and we’re never confronted with anything we can’t handle, so we should never be afraid. Whether your fears and ugly parts are real or imagined, the key is not to run from them. The only thing to do is to shed light on the source of our anxieties and perceived inadequacies, get to their roots and make adjustments that will bring us closer to the most fulfilled and peaceful versions of ourselves.

And like the end of a scary movie, it comes down to you and only you to fight for your life.  There is no magic formula or genie in a bottle, no Calgon or knight in shining armor to take you away. Taking responsibility for your life centers you in who you are and what you want – fantasy and illusion, or simply ignoring things, move you farther away. It’s up to you to create your own happiness and what you want in your life, and ask for help along the way.

So if you need to do a little exorcising of your inner ghouls and goblins, who ya gonna call?  Like Ghostbusters or those meddling kids in Scooby-Doo, I will expose and expel the real cause of your heebie-jeebies and things that go bump in the night so you can move forward and make the changes you need to be all of who you are in the bright light of day! 

(Today’s PGG was originally published on October 26, 2010)

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In every life we have some trouble / But when you worry you make it double. ~ Bobby McFerrin

As the saying goes, three things are certain in life: death, taxes and change. Change comes in all shapes and sizes, some scarier than others:  climate change, career change, graduations, marriages, relationships, TV changes, sex changes, change of residences and regime change to name a few – and right now seems chock full of them!

The reality is that time keeps on slippin’ into the future, so we have no choice in the matter of change, because like Kevin James dancing in Hitch, “You can’t stop this, you cannnoottt stop it… ”

Most folks have a hard time with change.  We’d rather stay comfy and/or miserable rather than letting go of our crutches and seeing what else life might have in store us.  We cannot control things but we can control how we respond to them: we can resist and go kicking and screaming or we can accept that change happens, and just go with the flow.

Going with the flow means listening to yourself, and giving yourself what you need at any particular moment. The best way to deal with change is to trust in yourself and be your own best counsel, so it’s important to have that ‘muscle’ in place as you navigate the white water rapids of feelings that come with this thing called life.

Change is not always fun, but it’s almost always for the better because change forces growth and growth is good. And once the change happens, we can’t be like a goldfish that lived in a fishbowl its whole life and then when put into the ocean swims around in a little circle as if he were still in a bowl!

David Bowie tells us time may change you but you can’t trace time. So if you feel you are ready to be hatched, then fly, be free! Not quite like Mork’s egg, but more like Steve Miller’s Eagle or with the help of Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds and the wonder of that other Stevie who sings,  Don’t You Worry ‘Bout a Thing 

But if you’re not quite ready to fly the coop, walk without those crutches, or swim in the big blue ocean, give me a buzz and you can Lean on Me until you get strong and carry on!

(Today’s PGG was originally published on June 7, 2011)

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I will continue to use my voice, the one I was told is important and matters. ~ Rosario Dawson

I’m not a huge fan of American Idol but have watched it here and there, and the theme I noticed this season has to do with contestants “finding their voice” and being artists who are true to themselves.  Now there’s a new kid on the block called The Voice, and the X-Factor coming around the corner as well.

Although on one hand we are attracted to the idea of being plucked from obscurity and thrust into the spotlight, I think our more subconscious obsession with these shows stems from how powerful that little box in our throat really is, because not enough of us use it to its fullest potential.

I have a client who feels she is not heard by her boyfriend, another who is trying to find his voice in his job, another who gets stuck when trying to articulate anything about herself. Shania Twain, who made a living and a fortune living by her voice, lost it after the devastating news of her husband’s betrayal and coming to terms with a traumatic childhood. Nothing is more effective to show us just how essential our voice is to who we are than when it is not there.

I recently had the privilege of meeting one of the most distinctive and profound voices in our society today, Dr.Cornel West, who was being honored, along with Rosario Dawson and former Mayor David Dinkins, at the very aptly named  Voices, the annual gala for The Brotherhood Sister Sol, an organization that empowers low-income Black and Latino youths to become agents of social change through education, activism and spoken word.  West, a frequent guest on mainstream TV talk shows, always has an intelligent and entertaining discourse with his host and speaks my kinda language about love, courage and shared humanity; he is an extremely unique voice of reason in a sea of media madness.         

At the end of the event, the students’ poem said you “can’t sing when your guard is up and your mouth is closed…..The consequences of silence are intolerable.”  No matter who you are, without your voice and your Voice, you are lost.

The logo and ads for The Voice show two fingers up in a V; I realized it’s no small coincidence that this is also the sign of peace and victory, as they are all intertwined. Because when you find your Voice and use it, you feel at peace with yourself and can be Victorious in overcoming any obstacle – and that is Vital.

Whether you want to sing like Christina or Shania, speak out like Rosario and Cornel, or are from Madonna’s generation or Gaga’s, it’s up to each of us to use what we’ve got, so give me a buzz and I’ll make you see how wonderful it is that you were Born this Way and then help you Express Yourself hey hey…

(Today’s PGG was originally published on May 10, 2011)

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When Lenny Kravitz came out with his anthem  in 1989, the world was at once very different from and exactly the same as it is now. The Cold War has been replaced by the War on Terror, the Middle East remains a mess, and there are still far too many people on the planet who live in the midst of hunger, disease and injustice.  Racism and religious bigotry are alive and well, and economies and the environment are in the tank.  Heavy sigh…when will we ever learn?

So what is little ole’ you to do? Well if as the saying goes, peace begins with me, then the question is:  Are you at war with yourself or with the people closest to you?

A loving relationship with yourself must come before you can be in one with another, or to even just to get along with your family, neighbors or strangers on the subway. We have to take the time and energy to forgive and love ourselves and others. It’s our responsibility to dig deep to see what is going on inside us, understand it and then have the courage to communicate honestly and lovingly first to ourselves, and then to those around us when appropriate.

Love is the most powerful force in the Universe when used intelligently and intentionally; it can move mountains, heal, connect and transform.

What are you waiting for? There is no more important time than now to let love start ruling your world. Love of yourself, love of each other, love of your work, and love of life itself – the very breath and heartbeat that is allowing you to read this email!

Need a little mediation between your head and your heart, what you earn and what you’re worth, your desires and your reality, or you and your significant other? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the peacekeeping force that helps you reconcile all the conflict zones in your life and make love the law of the land!

(Today’s PGG was originally published on September 10, 2010)

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Each generation doubtless feels called upon to reform the world. Mine knows that it will not reform it, but its task is perhaps even greater. It consists in preventing the world from destroying itself. Heir to a corrupt history, in which are mingled fallen revolutions, technology gone mad, dead gods, and worn-out ideologies, where mediocre powers can destroy all yet no longer know how to convince, where intelligence has debased itself to become the servant of hatred and oppression, this generation starting from its own negations has had to re-establish, both within and without, a little of that which constitutes the dignity of life and death.                  ~ Albert Camus (Nobel Speech, 1957)

Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose . ~ Lyndon B. Johnson   

The huge Barnes & Noble, a staple of my neighborhood and one of the anchors and few big bookstores left in Manhattan, recently closed its doors after 21 years. This follows a pattern of many other longtime rocks and havens in my ‘hood: the diner, a cleaners, two grocery stores, the nail salon, even my super – most of which had been there two decades or more. So many other businesses have vacated the premises over these past several years, only to make way for yet another bank, chain drug store or fancy condominiums I’m not sure who can afford. Yes, this has been the trend of the Big Apple as it changes and mall-ifies, and people, some of who are my friends, if they stay in the area, have been fleeing to greener, and/or less expansive pastures in places like Queens, The Bronx, Staten Island, New Jersey or Westchester (forget Brooklyn at this point!)

I have gone through some pretty major life changes over the past couple years, and these disappearing touchstones of “home” have compounded and affirmed the sensation of being reincarnated in the same body, and feeling like I’ve moved without actually having moved. The surroundings are familiar but feel different; sometimes its like being in one of those dreams where everything is a bit topsy-turvy….

Oh yes, and then there is the political landscape…. Never before in the history of this country (need to fact check, but am pretty sure) have we participated in and witnessed the slow dismantling, unraveling and unhinging of our government, culture and citizens at large, mutating into an almost unrecognizable caricature of our former selves.  It’s been a rude awakening for many in this nation that racism indeed still exists, and that being born a certain color can in fact determine whether you live or die in even the most benign of situations; that gun violence and extreme masculinity, rampant impropriety, dinosaur consciousness and medieval principles are coming out of the shadows and are alive and well, kicking and screaming, trying to hold on for dear life as the future marches on at an ever-increasing pace.

And in this digital landscape – where things are warped, exaggerated and regurgitated ad nauseam – we must be careful of how we relate to life; to become mindful of when we are living more online than off.  What are we doing? We must be hyper-aware and ever-vigilant of when we are letting outside influences, the manipulation of media and external distractions effect our ability to think for ourselves and control our most precious resources of time and energy, rather than producing our own news, plots and storylines in which we are the writers, directors and stars.

The advent of virtual reality and its widespread use in a variety of circumstances will confuse our brains even more in distinguishing time and place, and what is real or not.  But remember we also create our own virtual reality, for example, when you are thinking of something that has already happened, your brain cannot tell the difference between present and past, hence you re-experience those memories and emotions as you replay them over and over as if they are happening in real time, and because they are more than likely the negative ones, means you are constantly re-injuring yourself, causing unnecessary suffering and a skewed perception of your actual current state of being.

As the saying goes, like death and taxes, change is one of three things that are certain in life. But more recently we have been living through big upheavals and endings of not just chapters, but eras. Therefore, now, more then ever, letting go of the past is one of the most important things you can do in order to adjust to and situate yourself in this new uncharted territory.  To liberate yourself from the chains of the past and be fully present as to what your reality is today – whether you chose it, or like it, or not – must happen before you can start to build, create and expand within this newfound orientation.

Who do you want to be as we move forward in this new era? What do you want to accomplish? How do you want to live? Are you at least living in your own body? Can you get so comfortable in your own skin and inner being that you could be plopped down in the middle of Mars and still feel like you are “at home”? As we shift deeper into the more contemplative season of Fall, spend a little time pondering these questions and sowing the seeds of their eventual harvest that will come days, months and years from now.

Just as we are all going through an accelerated evolution as individuals, so is our country and the world, which is why so much upheaval and chaos abounds; gotta clean out the junk in the basement and attic and do some demolishing before you can re-model…And just like that process, we can remember, incorporate and/or hold on to the good, and let go of the bad.

It’s time to get back to the essentials of why and how our country was created – what we stand for, who our founding fathers intended us to be and what they hoped we could accomplish as a nation. In so doing, we must recognize that a nation is comprised of people, and therefore it is people who are entrusted with doing the right thing, making big decisions, coming up with solutions to problems, and then allocating the appropriate resources to take care of and protect its citizens, which is the sole purpose of government.

No doubt we need to change as a country, but what is the thoughtful approach to that process? It’s not a shocking headline, clever meme, funny gify, or a superficial spouting of patriotism; there is real work to be done, real structural changes that must happen, and most importantly, a genuine cultural shift and unification that needs to coalesce – but how do we do so without throwing the baby out with the bathwater? In other words, how can we help the country reincarnate in its own body, its own basic framework, while recognizing, mitigating and/or eliminating the inconsistencies of our past declarations, deeds and demonstrations so that we grow wiser and stronger moving forward?

Yes we should all vote but there is more we can do, which may or may not involve running for elected office. We all have a part to play in restoring dignity to our democracy and society at large, and prevent ourselves from imploding.  We have more power when we acknowledge and assume responsibility for our own lives, and the part we play in improving them for those around us, because we are all in it together. This requires us to take time away from Facebook or binging on the latest Netflix series, or at least learn to use them in a productive, balanced and constructive way…

And so my fellow Americans, my plea to you today as we rapidly enter this new era is to express yourself as positively as possible and develop your fullest potential, which will indirectly, or perhaps even directly, develop and express this country’s potential, and set our course, and that of the world, in the right direction, lest we will very soon be dealing with even Stranger Things.

Not sure what star or stripe you have to contribute to this terra incognita? Give me buzz, I’ll help you find, inhabit and make your true Home On the Range the best it can be, so that collectively will can make Our House a very very fine house.

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over thirty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

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Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours

The greatest gift you can give to the world is a healed life.~ Dr. Christiane Northrup

What is to give light must endure burning. ~ Viktor Frankl

Last month a white buffalo was born in Goshen, CT and its naming ceremony is taking place this week. This is a sacred and rare event in the Native American tradition, the significance of which varies in interpretation, but it’s auspicious nonetheless, and at the very least is yet another sign of the extraordinary times in which we live.

We’re at a point where we can no longer ignore the problems that on some level we’ve known all along we must address – whether climate change; the economy and our government; our physical, mental or emotional health; our relationships with ourselves, our family and our friends; or the gap between the fantasy of how we perceive our lives to be versus the reality of what they truly are. We must bring to light what is holding us back, stop living in denial or distraction, and take responsibility for our own happiness.

For many of us, our limitations are rooted in the infinite search for approval and the pain we feel when we don’t get it, especially from those closest to us. Our culture seems to have exploited this, whether you are singing in front of millions of people, walking on a red carpet, living in a literal or metaphoric glass house, or deemed worthy of receiving a rose from a bachelor or bachelorette – or more perversely, and often magnified by mental illness, strapping a bomb to yourself in a crowded area, becoming a despotic ruler or embodying a pseudo-character in a movie and committing mass murder, knowing the attention and infamy such an action will bring.

In this Time of the Season, who’s your daddy? Are you seeking approval from parents, friends, partners, bosses, the opposite sex, the same sex,  Facebook likes, Twitter followers or the public at large? As comedienne Margaret Cho reminds us, we have to be ones that we want.  We cannot be defined by others so let’s get honest, let’s get real with ourselves. Because when we choose to avoid delving into the deepest parts of ourselves, we turn to indulging or over-indulging in unhealthy relationships, food, TV, work, the Internet, gossip and bullying, drugs, sex, alcohol, video games, gambling, movies and so many other things to numb us. Instead of masking whatever feelings may be lurking beneath the surface, we need walk through the fire; there are no shortcuts. And remember, if you can’t feel the bad, that means you can’t feel the good either!

We are the only ones who can give meaning to our own lives, and we are constantly reminded of just how brief that life can be. We must dig deep within our souls to find the stuff we are made of and the things we must release in order to move forward, to heal our lives . We need to discover and then liberate ourselves from who or what is owning us by making us feel validated. That process may be uncomfortable, and yes, even painful. But in allowing yourself to go there, we can then leave there once and for all. Our country and the world are depending on it.

Need a little help Digging in the Dirt to open up the places you got hurt? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the support you need to tear up those roots and replant the seeds of healthy self-esteem that bloom just for you.  Should you by chance attract an admirer or two, that’s simply a byproduct of bringing your own special brand of beauty to a world that so desperately needs it.

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on July 24, 2012)

Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Read over thirty 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List