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When traveling by myself in Cape Town, South Africa in 2001, just seven years after the end of apartheid, I had a major aha moment while having tea in the lobby of the historic, old-world luxury Mount Nelson Hotel.

Feeling somewhat awkward in my solo budget travel state, I was in the midst of sipping Earl Grey when something clicked within me on the most profound of levels. It occurred to me that due to the mere fact my skin was white – with the bonus of having very blonde hair at the time – I was essentially given free rein to go wherever I desired and do whatever I wanted, and no one would ever question me, look at me strangely, or think I didn’t belong.

Yes, I was in one of the most segregated countries on the planet, but it really struck me that this applied in a broader context – no matter where I go, simply because of the color of my skin, along with being tall and reasonably well-dressed, in addition to being educated and American, I enjoy a certain level of trust, respect (this was just before 9/11) and service, and almost always inherently avoid outright discrimination and bodily harm, even as a woman (which itself is topic for another discussion, since that is only a very recent phenomena and may apply to less places, but I digress…).

Suddenly the phrase “carte blanche,” which literally translates as “white card,” came into my head and I immediately made the connection to the District Six Museum’s display of various ID cards for citizens under that classified system:  White, Coloured, Black, and Indian.  In the United States, and in a global sense, it is an invisible card I carry that gives me entree, ease and yes, a certain unearned privilege, to live a life free of so many stresses, layers of misperception, institutionalized prejudice, fear, bias and/or hatred the majority of those of darker shades must endure, and are too often endangered by.

I realize in telling you this story I may sound naive, but you have to know this came at a time to someone who from childhood in theory, and more than ten years prior to that moment, in practice, was not only quite aware of, but particularly passionate about, the issue of racial inequality and had many interpersonal experiences, observations and relationships informing a significant understanding of the complexities all that entails – earlier that year I had even started a non-profit organization to dispel stereotypes and bigotry in order to bring women together to “Recognize Our Unity” and “Celebrate Our Diversity”.

But being in a place where racism had so recently been explicitly acknowledged and addressed in such a direct manner brought this concept home to me in a way that up until that point in my life, because I am White, had only been subtly perceptible, and even then, only because I was sensitive to the issue.

A couple of years later while waiting in the cold for an MTA bus on First Avenue in the East Village I got to experience this overtness in reverse. Two Black women chose to ditch the delayed public transportation, and I watched in disbelief as two, three, five, six open taxis passed by as they tried to hail them.  Disgusted, I asked if they needed help, and of course the next cab stopped for me but when the driver realized the Black women, not me, were getting in, he drove away.  Finally I asked where they were going; I was so appalled I decided I would just get in and share it with them; the irony was that they were only going to 78th between First and Second, probably one of the Whitest blocks in the city.  It was perhaps the closest I will come to know what it must feel like to deal with race on a daily basis, simply trying to accomplish the most mundane of tasks.

Fast forward to February 2012. After my talk at the NY Science, Industry and Business Library, a young Black man came up to thank me for what I had shared, how it made him think differently about his life; he pointed out to me what he had written down so he could make positive change going forward. He then said he had recently been released from federal prison, would I be willing to work with people like him?  Well, this began a journey in which I learned more specifically about the consequences of race and the criminal justice system, the roots of mass incarceration and the many barriers to re-entry. It has since widened and deepened my understanding of the unhealed wounds, scars and repercussions of our country’s history of slavery.

What we are dealing with in the aftermath of injustice after injustice against people of color are symptoms of a very sick system that is made up of people, and people are crying out for transformation and healing. It is not a Black problem; it is not a White problem. It is a human problem. No matter what card-carrying member of our race you proclaim (or are deemed) to be, we’re all in this man-made mess together – and we will only solve it one story, one interaction, one aha moment at a time.

Today’s PGG was originally posted on December 5, 2014)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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FEELING STUCK IN YOUR CAREER? CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO!  

Last November I was one of the career experts featured in a panel discussion hosted by The Muse.  Here is the full length video where you can hear my thoughts on career transition, working with a coach, building confidence and handling emotions in the workplace.

I got my patience and I’m making do

I learned my lessons from the ancient roots

I choose to follow what the greatest do ~ Anderson .Paak, The Bird

We’ve been through, and continue to go through, so much turmoil and loss these days it seems to be the norm as we move from one tragedy and outrage to the next.

Just like a kid going through puberty, America seems to be having a growth spurt as if we are in junior high all over again, with the requisite bullying, name calling, ugliness, awkwardness, manipulative reasoning, unnecessary emotional and physical cruelty, faulty judgment and disturbing sensationalism that come along with adolescent behavior, only to be magnified, rewarded and abused by the internet, social media and reality television (which includes our news broadcasts).

As the experiment that our country is, we have always needed extraordinary people to rise above the fray, to serve as a moral voice and bearers of Light, Love, Peace, Justice and Reason; to make sure our hormones and lower selves don’t rule the day, that neither mob mentality nor corruption of power or relentless greed takes hold in a way we will eternally regret; to steward our democracy and remind and inspire us through their words and deeds that our “better angels” must prevail.

The passing of Elise Wiesel, one of the most influential standard bearers of our time, significantly and symbolically, just before our Independence Day celebration, was not lost on me, however it did seem to get lost in the shuffle of hysteria and hyperbole that we unfortunately have also come to know as the norm in our mainstream media and discourse.

When I turned on the television Sunday morning, no one was talking about or honoring this great man with any sort of coverage like we saw with two other great souls we lost recently; Prince and Muhammad Ali.  Instead all I saw was nonstop regurgitating and fanning the flames of the mudslinging and nastiness between the two presumptive presidential candidates, and the other incessant topic of terrorism, with the headline in big bold letters, “Why They Hate Us.”

It made my stomach sick that such an opportunity to focus on what Elie Wiesel’s message was and what his life represented was not used, consciously or not, as a balm, an antidote to all the negativity being spewed. And it made me sad to think that yet another giant of goodness and voice of decency has left the planet, because who is coming up behind them?

We cannot underestimate the impact these three humans had on our modern times and how the lack of their presence will create a void, a vacuum that needs to be filled with comparable or better than the gifts they bestowed on us:

Prince, a musical genius whose example of profound and prolific creativity, encouraged us to get our sexy on, to not deny those natural, healthy urges because when repressed too long and too far down come out mutated as rape culture and generalized violence; he wanted us to make love not war with each other and was a behind the scenes crusader for social justice.

Muhammad Ali, a tower of strength, boldness and courage, who taught us self-worth and discipline and being your own moral authority, asserting that right when necessary even if it goes against popular opinion, personal gain and an unjust system.  He taught us that standing up for justice and equality, and fiercely defending the concepts of religious and racial tolerance and love for all people everywhere is the greatest fight of all.

Elie Wiesel, who understood pain and horror on an unimaginable scale firsthand, served as a witness to and reminder of the worst we are capable of doing to each other, and yet turned his experience into one of insisting that we bring out the best in each other, emphasizing the importance and value of friendship and brotherhood, that we should never be silent in the face of injustice anywhere to anyone, and that the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.

On the outside, these humanitarians couldn’t be more different: just think of the contrast between Muhammad Ali, physically big, strong and conventionally attractive, who was outspoken and sought the media spotlight and challenged authority, with Prince, a wisp of a thing probably no wider than one of Ali’s legs, extremely soft spoken and media shy almost to the point of being a recluse (yet interestingly Ali often made himself “smaller” while in the boxing ring to tire or outwit his opponent, whereas Price exploded into something much larger than life on stage). And then of course there is Wiesel, known more as an older man, who because of his minority status as a European Jew during WWII was literally fated to be extinguished, instead became a beacon of light to humanity, especially to those who are persecuted anywhere.  Yet they shared so much in common.

We can also talk about the price of not heeding, or expressing the inversion, of their ideals and principles, like the Orlando massacre, the Brexit vote and the terrorist attack in Istanbul. In their most simplistic terms you could deduce that the Orlando massacre was caused by the repressed sexual feelings of the shooter (Prince), the Brexit vote was about not accepting the “other” and challenging authority to mandate that view (Muhammad Ali), and the terrorist attack in Istanbul using religion to justify the annihilation of another (Elie Wiesel).

With the departure of each of these great souls (Nelson Mandela, Grace Lee Boggs, Maya Angelou to name a few others we’ve lost over the past few years), it feels more and more auspicious; I keep wondering who is going to take their places (because no one could fill their shoes), who will demonstrate wisdom and profiles in courage, who will be the new voices?  It was encouraging that Jessie Williams seems to be walking that path with his activism and incisive passionate speech on BET about institutional racism, there is Rebecca Solnit or Tim DeChrisptopher fighting for climate change and protesting the destruction of the environment…But where is their airplay, as most of you have probably never heard of them.  If Elie Wiesel couldn’t get it, why would they?

More importantly though:  What is your voice putting out there?  What is the message of your life? What example, inspiration, motivation are you being to others?

It is no coincidence that Hamilton, the Musical is the phenomenon that it is it RIGHT NOW. There is a certain magic and Universal order to these events; yes you can say the talented performers, and of course concept and writing are to “blame” — but why now, why was this birthed at this particular moment in time and not five years ago or in five years?

I also find it interesting that some our biggest and most socially aware and/or politically active, and aging musicians are on tour this summer, perhaps for their last, like Paul Simon, Peter Gabriel and Sting, Van Morrison, and Dolly Parton; artists who have been around for decades with socially conscious messages, bridging cultures and creating thoughtful lyrics and positive vibes, thankfully playing to thousands of people to help counteract the opposite that abounds.   And it seems the only movies out there are superheroes or supernatural demons. Again, I don’t think any of this is a coincidence.

I bring all of this to your attention because it seems that everyone has been experiencing their own personal crisis’ and can barely get their heads above water, and when they do come up for air the world seems to be falling apart and things are just too overwhelming to try to comprehend or relate to, and/or they feel powerless to do anything about it.  But it’s so important that we find a way to connect our own lives and those of our neighbors both next door and around the globe and take whatever actions we can to make it better, lest we wake up one day and find a world that we simply do not recognize or feel a part of at the least, and are oppressed by or fearful of at the worst.

So instead of being swept up in the events of the day, week or month, find a balance between being aware and caring, and do whatever little bit you can to bring love, compassion, tolerance, peace into the world in your own way – choose to show kindness to a stranger or family member, make art, put out a positive post on your social media, allow yourself to relax and breathe, express love to someone you are not feeling so loving toward; try to understand and even stand up for someone instead of dismiss or shout at them, especially if they have a different skin color, religion or political view.

Unconscious times call for as many people to become as conscious as possible, and to make an effort. Look at your own internal structures and see what can be healed or repaired, where can bridges be built in your own sphere of influence, in your family, community, even workplace? Be courageous like Muhammad Ali, and take a stand for peace and justice, be creative like Prince and make art and love, be compassionate like Elie Wiesel and do not give into revenge or hatred of your real or perceived enemy.

Not sure where to start, what needs to change, or how you can make a difference? Give me a buzz and I’ll help you fly like a butterfly and sting like a bee, while playing the ten instruments wearing purple, getting you one step closer to being considered for your version of a Nobel Prize!

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
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CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

FEELING STUCK IN YOUR CAREER? CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO!  

  Last November I was one of the career experts featured in a panel discussion hosted by The Muse.  Here is the full length video where you can hear my thoughts on career transition, working with a coach, building confidence and handling emotions in the workplace.

Our founding fathers, mothers, cousins and friends infused our nation with extraordinary concepts of human evolution and the ideals of true freedom, and we have much to thank them for.

Their “greatest social experiment in history” has had its ups and downs, and our culture is in constant motion – good, bad or otherwise- because of it. Although we no longer exist beneath the thumb of our former rulers across the pond, we all live to some extent under the control of something or someone.

July then is a great time to step back from, reflect upon and extricate yourself from whatever that might be – whether technology, bright shiny things, outdated relationships or ways of thinking, food or other substances, and the illusion of connectedness and fulfillment that they all give.  Find your voice among all the white noise and distractions, replacing them with the enlightened, revolutionary spirit this country was founded on: your definition and assertion of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

These times they are a changin’, so in the Spirit of ’76 take this month to also perform your own experiment and declare independence from blind obedience to conventional wisdom that may no longer be conventional, nor wise.

If you can’t quite see through the rockets’ red glare, give me a buzz and I will show how you do indeed live in the land of the free, and can make your life a home of the brave!

Today’s PGG was originally posted on July 6, 2010)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
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CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

FEELING STUCK IN YOUR CAREER? CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO!  

Last November I was one of the career experts featured in a panel discussion hosted by The Muse.  Here is the full length video where you can hear my thoughts on career transition, working with a coach, building confidence and handling emotions in the workplace.

One of my favorite movies, Bottle Shock, is about the then-nascent California wine industry and its victory over the French in a blind taste test celebrating the 1976 bicentennial.  The film is based on the true story of a man who ditched his legal career to pursue a dream of making the best wine possible. Jim Barrett put his life into Chateau Montelena; to do so was a huge risk, and he had to have unwavering faith in himself and trust in the process of such a delicate, complex and time-consuming task, whose results were not necessarily guaranteed.

As with any such journey, there were many twist and turns and ups and downs along the way, but in the end he triumphed not only because he beat the French at their proudest export, but also because in doing so, blew the field wide open for quality wine to be produced in countries around the globe, and the world has never been the same.

Orson Welles, in his famous  commercials would say, “ We will sell no wine before its time.”  It takes time for lasting success to develop, and there is no better activity than viticulture to demonstrate that. There are cycles of planting, pruning, harvesting, fermenting and numerous other magical, alchemical things that need to happen for that perfect glass to arrive at your table.  As I always say in my seminars, “Remember that grapes do not turn into wine overnight!”

With last week’s Solstice officially ushering in the summer, we are reminded that to Every Thing There is a Season.  The historic vote to legalize same-sex marriage in NY three days later was decades in the making; several societal changes and generations of progress had to occur in order to have the majority of the population now be “ripe” for its acceptance, and we are all stronger and better for having gone through the process.

Since we are halfway through the year, be sure you are working internally and externally towards whatever goals you set for yourself; know that as long as you consistently do things that you love and care about, you are fertilizing your life, making it as rich as possible. Focus your thoughts, words and deeds in the direction you want to be going, knowing that all will come to fruition with a perfect union of patience, persistence and perseverance – in time and on time.

You can’t put the cart before the horse, so if you’re feeling a little frustrated and impatient in pursuit of your passions, give me a buzz and I’ll be a future sommelier explaining the uniqueness and quality of your vintage, or the judge that casts the deciding vote to make your dream a reality!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on June 28, 2011)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
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CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

FEELING STUCK IN YOUR CAREER? CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO!  

Last November I was one of the career experts featured in a panel discussion hosted by The Muse.  Here is the full length video where you can hear my thoughts on career transition, working with a coach, building confidence and handling emotions in the workplace.

Justice is what love looks like in public, just like tenderness is what love feels like in private. ~ Cornel West

Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~ Ian MacLaren

I’m a pretty even-keeled gal, and have become somewhat adept at managing/mitigating stress in my life, the techniques of which I share with others through my work.  Part of that strategy includes limiting/filtering my daily dose of news and media so as not to be overwhelmed by the gloom and doom that is the majority of what is broadcast.

But lately I’ve been feeling like the character in that famous scene from the 1976 movie Network : I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore.”  Just pick a topic, whether our broken political system, the war on women’s bodies, the global economic mess and decline of the middle class, or vigilantes and blatant attacks both here and abroad – including massacres and ethnic cleansing, both overt and subtle, of particular races, religions, sexual orientations and nations. There are so many things under siege in our culture, in society and around the world that it’s easy to get lulled into the feeling we can’t do anything. But we can take matters into our hands – in a responsible way.

Besides using our voice, signature and/or pocketbook to make a difference, we can check our egos at the door and let balanced emotions, not uncontrolled rage or fear, guide our actions.  There is plenty of wonkiness/intellectual and pseudo-intellectual approaches to go around and also, unfortunately, pure hatred and insanity as well to fuel many an action, so the question that we all need to answer is: How can we inject more love, understanding and compassion in order to effect the change we want?

A good place to begin is to think about how we can create more justice and peace in our own lives, starting with our relationships. Are you unfairly punishing, harshly judging or incorrectly perceiving people closest to you, whether family, friends or those you work with? Are the thoughts and actions towards yourself and others around you positive and constructive, or negative and destructive?  

It’s a good time to clean out our mental and emotional closets as well as our spiritual and physical ones, to let go of what no longer serves us, or holds us back from expressing the highest and best version of who we are and can be.  By making more of a commitment to create your own just and peaceful world, only then can we expect it of the world around us. ‘Cause guess what? That world is made of us!

Do what you can to activate love and compassion within yourself, scan reactions and prejudices, don’t throw stones, and stand up for those who can’t. Most of all, go easy on you! We’re often our own worst critics and judges, and we end up imprisoning ourselves and those around us because of it. Most people are doing the best as they can. As so eloquently stated in a TED Talk by Bryan Stevenson, remember that “Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done” and “Our humanity depends on everyone’s humanity.”

Not quite sure where you need to balance the scales of justice in your life? Give me a buzz and I can be a softer, gentler version of Judge Judy , helping you to separate fact from fiction in your court of personal opinion so you can sp ring yourself from whatever slammer you’ve put yourself in!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on March 20, 2012)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
Like me on Facebook  Follow me on Twitter

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

FEELING STUCK IN YOUR CAREER? CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO!  

Last November I was one of the career experts featured in a panel discussion hosted by The Muse.  Here is the full length video where you can hear my thoughts on career transition, working with a coach, building confidence and handling emotions in the workplace.

Over the weekend we lost a legendary soul, truly one of the greatest human beings in recent history and one of my heroes, Muhammad Ali. This is a post I published right after Maya Angelou passed away, but the sentiment could not be more fitting for The Champ as well.
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If a human being dreams a great dream, or dares to love someone…If a human being dares to be bigger than the condition into which he or she was born, it means so can you… I am a human being, nothing human can be alien to me. ~Maya Angelou

And what a human she was! Dr. Maya Angelou possessed and cultivated a creative and brilliant mind, a powerful and compassionate heart, a flair for the dramatic, a serious sense of humor, and a thorough appetite for all aspects of life. She was a phenomenal woman who spent every breath of her 86 years consciously striving to express the fullest embodiment of what it means to exist as a spiritual being in this physical world.

To me, this is her greatest legacy. Like my other six foot tall heroine Eleanor Roosevelt, she walked her talk, and therefore we all benefited. She served as an example for all she stood for and knew to be Universally true; she espoused the unity and dignity of people of every race and creed, recognizing that “we are more alike than we are unalike.”

And she was very aware that she was indeed human, and knew how dangerous it is to make people, like a Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, or Mother Teresa larger than life – they were all human beings and when we idolize or put them on a pedestal they become inaccessible and we think we can never be like them. Instead they should inspire us to be extraordinary in our own way.

In our youth-obsessed and advertising-driven culture, it is unfortunate that we give so little airtime to our elders like Dr. Angelou, Nelson Mandela or Grace Lee Boggs, because when we listen to the wisdom that nearly nine decades of being a person who has chosen to love, forgive, learn and grow, who allowed themselves to reflect, observe and evolve, they teach us how to live. They are lighthouses that remind us who we really are and where we should be going – and these days especially when one is extinguished it feels like an even bigger loss because they are rare gems and we wonder who is coming up the rear to replace them.

In my work I have the honor and privilege of helping you discover that no matter how old you are or where you are from, you have a unique way of leaving our planet a little better off than when you arrived even if it is simply by virtue of your own healed life.

Some of my clients, as a result of our meeting, have already gone on as a result of our meeting to win Tonys and Fulbrights, or are on their way to becoming a media moguls, best-selling authors, cutting edge inventors, or warriors for justice; whether they have an Ivy League background, were formerly incarcerated or are a ninth-grade NYC public school student, every one of them has something to offer, an opportunity to improve their own world, a way to be the most human they can be.

Not quite convinced that you, too, can be a giant among us? Give me a buzz and I’ll show you how like those Redwoods of California, you are one of hundreds of special trees that make up a forest of awe-inspiring majesty and beauty, living in harmony with one another and Earth, and the very Nature of Life itself.

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on June 4, 2014)

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Click here for the core reason why Muhammad Ali was “The Greatest”:

If you haven’t see these documentaries, I highly recommend watching to learn more about this giant of a human being:

When We Were Kings
The Trials of Muhammad Ali

and check out his work and legacy through:

The Ali Center

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
Like me on Facebook  Follow me on Twitter

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

FEELING STUCK IN YOUR CAREER? CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO!  

Last November I was one of the career experts featured in a panel discussion hosted by The Muse.  Here is the full length video where you can hear my thoughts on career transition, working with a coach, building confidence and handling emotions in the workplace.

When things aren’t quite going your way, it’s easy to fall into the grass-is-always-greener syndrome. But as the saying goes,before you judge a man (or covet his life), walk a mile in his shoes.

You don’t have to turn back the clock , eat a magical fortune cookie, ride in a souped up DeLorean or relieve yourself in an enchanted fountain to discover your life and relationships are exactly as they should be, or get the kick in the butt you need to make them better. The fact is, our lives are the sum total of all the choices we’ve ever made until this point – a combination unique unto ourselves. That means we have, on some level, created the situation we’ve wanted or needed in order to learn and grow on this journey called life.

So whatever your state of affairs, take full responsibility for it. The good news is that if you don’t like it, because you got yourself into it, you totally have the power to get out of it!

A lot of my clients right now are at the point of no return, where there’s no turning back or delaying the inevitable.  The only thing to do is to go through – there is no way around, there is no way back – they need to make a change or take action in a certain direction because at this point there’s no alternative, whether because of forced external realities or an internal malaise and dissatisfaction that they can no longer withstand.

Why changes haven’t been made up to now is a more complicated and varied topic for another time. Often it’s a stronger sense of obligation to others, what they want or would make them happy, that prevents us from moving forward to the beat of our own drum. But contrary to Hollywood plots, we are the ones who have to live in our bodies, so it’s up to us to do what needs to be done. It’s time to big or go home.

Not fully convinced you don’t have to go all topsy turvy or time-travelly to get it right? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the freaky fictional device that helps you wake up and smell the coffee. You’ll understand and appreciate where you’re at and what changes you can make in order to learn and experience whatever you need to be the best you can be Right Here, Right Now.

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on September 22,  2012)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
Like me on Facebook  Follow me on Twitter

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

FEELING STUCK IN YOUR CAREER? CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO!  

Last November I was one of the career experts featured in a panel discussion hosted by The Muse.  Here is the full length video where you can hear my thoughts on career transition, working with a coach, building confidence and handling emotions in the workplace.

The unofficial start of summer is traditionally accompanied by a more relaxed, go-with-the-flow kind of attitude.  Years ago, re-runs were shown on a very limited number of TV channels, and there was no Internet to entice/distract/constrain us from being outside enjoying the warmer weather and longer days.

With our 21st century, 24/7 lifestyle, this means that we have to consciously take time to disconnect with technology and re-connect with Nature and ourselves.

Like that cool special effect in big blockbuster movies of our recent past and present, we need to pause midair and get a full 360 degree view of what is going on around us so that we can take the precise action to defend and/or advance who we are and what we want.

Whether in the park or at the beach, be sure to take a moment to reflect on where you really want to be going and why, rather than just moving unconsciously from one activity to the next, day after day.

If you’ve been feeling anxious or not in control, give me a buzz – I’ll take the remote out of your hand, put it on slo-mo (or even pause), and guarantee you’ll be Feelin’ Groovy in no time!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on June 1, 2010)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
Like me on Facebook  Follow me on Twitter

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

FEELING STUCK IN YOUR CAREER? CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO!  

Last November I was one of the career experts featured in a panel discussion hosted by The Muse.  Here is the full length video where you can hear my thoughts on career transition, working with a coach, building confidence and handling emotions in the workplace.

I recently attended the funeral of a good friend’s father.  He was Ukrainian, along with most of his relatives and friends, so everything was conducted in his native language.  At the brunch after the burial, a woman stood up and read with great emotion what she had written on a few sheets of loose leaf paper while many of us choked up.

I saw her by the ladies’ room soon after and mentioned how beautiful her speech was. In broken English she went on about how she messed up and it didn’t come out the way she wanted, etc. I stopped her mid-sentence and said, “I don’t speak a word of Ukrainian.”  Puzzled, she replied, “Well, I just spoke from my heart.”  And I said, “Yes, that’s why it was so beautiful. ”

I often begin my seminars reminding the attendees that someday, hopefully in the very distant future, they will die.  Perhaps it’s morbid, but like change and taxes, death is one of the few certainties in life. When you look at your existence through that lens, before a crisis forces you to do so, it can be extremely powerful in helping to organize your thoughts and actions in a way nothing else can.

When we can accept it, our own mortality, or that of those closest to us, really puts things in perspective: What is it that we value? What and whom do we hold dear? What is real and meaningful for us?  And when you look back on your life, how do you want to have used your time and energy while you were here?  What is the mark that you want to leave on the world? How do you want people to remember you when you are gone?

Death and dying remind us that when all the external stuff falls away, what’s left?  You can’t take that designer bag, fancy car or impressive job title. It cuts to the core and brings us to the one essential thing that every human being desires – to love and to be loved in return.

At the end of the day, all you have is the impact of the life you led, mostly found in close connections with others and memories you’ve shared. You may never know the effect you’ve had on strangers, and family dynamics can of course be complicated, but remember, you choose your friends, and true friends who have been a part of your journey are precious; they are there regardless of too much time having passed or petty misunderstandings.

A crisis will always give us clarity as to what’s important and what we can offer one another.  If you let them, all that comes to the surface is love and compassion.  And to be there for someone, to have the opportunity to be a healing presence in whatever form that may take, is a gift for both the giver and receiver.

As we embrace the energy of Spring, think about which parts of yourself can bite the dust, giving way for the rebirth of and deeper commitment to honor and cherish your relationship with yourself and the healthy ones you have with others, to cultivate new connections that will enrich your journey, and to reaffirm your relationship to life itself.

Not sure what you would want to hear when you go or simply want to develop more fully all that you can’t leave behind?  Give me a buzz and I’ll help you Walk On, and be able to feel good about it all, here and now.

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on April 4, 2012)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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The other half of the question of what there is to celebrate is what mothered and mothers you, how you mother yourself, how you celebrate and recognize what cares for you and takes care of you, and what you care for in return. ~ Rebecca Solnit

Peace is not just the absence of war. It is the presence of mothering. ~ Gloria Steinem

Because I knew in my early 20’s I did not want to become a mother in the traditional/noun sense, I’ve never felt left out of today. As a human being I have a right to this choice, however as a woman in 2016 I do not take this for granted and I’m ever-grateful for the time, culture and place I live in, as well as those who have fought for and given their lives in order for me to exercise this right without (much) prejudice or persecution.

I’ve also never felt left out because of much of what Gloria writes here. I have never given birth to or chose to adopt and be responsible for the survival and well-being of another human, which is unfathomable to me – I give all of you who do so tremendous credit and am in complete awe of the undertaking. But I have experienced, and continue to experience, mothering the verb in so many ways.

I gave birth to The Women’s Mosaic and took care of it for over 10 years; I birthed a book of over 131 essays and I’m creating more PGG’s every month (I think this might be one…!). I felt like a mother worrying about a teenage daughter when my mom was out partying and having fun with the boys late at night, then experienced care giving for when she was too ill to take care of herself, and then honored and cared for her possessions when she was gone.

Over the past 15 years and counting, I have been a mentor and provider of loving guidance to the growth and development of countless interns, volunteers and clients, who are often young enough to be my sons or daughters, and I consider many of them as such, regardless of their age. I like to think that I’m a nurturing friend and sibling, and care deeply for those who are in my life. I feel a responsibility for and have dedicated my life to contributing to peace and harmony on the planet in whatever way I can.

But most importantly, and especially having gone through the loss of both parents now, I am constantly giving birth to myself – I have learned, and continue to learn, how to take care of my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual needs and give myself permission to express the fullest version of who I am, which is a work in progress.

Mothering oneself and others is essential to both inner and outer peace, so no matter who you are, what your status or gender, we can all strive for and celebrate being the best mothers we can be.

Read the inspiration for this post from Gloria Steinem’s MOTHER AS A VERB post here

Read Rebecca Solnit’s (quoted above) post about Mother’s Day here 

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
Like me on Facebook  Follow me on Twitter

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Personal Growth Gab (PGG) Volume One FROM AMAZON

FEELING STUCK IN YOUR CAREER? CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO!  

  Last November I was one of the career experts featured in a panel discussion hosted by The Muse.  Here is the full length video where you can hear my thoughts on career transition, working with a coach, building confidence and handling emotions in the workplace.