With the current release of films like Lincoln and Django Unchained, and BET’s bringing the acclaimed ’70’s TV series Roots out of the vault, there’s been a spotlight on and discussion about this essential part of our nation’s history both on screen and off.   

Whether or not you are a direct descendant of someone who lived or worked on a plantation in the 19th century, all of us in the 21st century, no matter who or where we came from, can check in to see which areas of our lives need to be emancipated from the tyranny of whatever is keeping us down, holding us back and making us feel ‘less-than’ in both subtle and overt ways.   

Oprah expressed it perfectly when she called slavery “A machine to create inferiority.”  You can only imagine what amazing strength, utter self-belief and profound self-worth was required to break out of that mentality, to really know who you are and be able to simply exist, let alone thrive, despite others perceiving you, and often treating you in, well, let’s just say a most unfavorable way. What it would take to preserve and protect your self, your spirit and your soul under such circumstances is beyond comprehension.

We certainly continue to struggle with the legacy and repercussions of slavery in terms of race on a daily basis in a variety of ways, while at the same time have come very far. But regardless of the color of our skin, there are more inconspicuous ways that we are judged by others, much of which has to do with what we think of ourselves when we look in the mirror, are alone with our thoughts and by the choices we make in every area of our lives.

The foundation of who we are reaches far and wide throughout our work, relationships, health and everyday life so the stronger and deeper your tree grows, the more you can weather even a storm like Sandy. Yes, you might lose a few branches along the way, but you won’t be knocked out for good! So take some time this month to connect to the root of who you are, using this last part of winter to develop, heal and love yourself so you can blossom more fully come Spring. 

You might have some family roots to dig up or some grass roots to build up in the process, but the bottom line is that if you look at any problem, challenge or change you want to make and trace it back to it’s ultimate root, if you’re honest with yourself, will find that the buck stops with you. Remember, this is always good news – because that means you can do something about it. 

Having a little trouble connecting all the genealogical dots of your career and/or life? Give me a buzz and I will get to the root the matter, so just like Alex and Kunta in Africa, we can find you!

This is the last blast before Personal Growth Gab returns next week, which means there’s just a few more days left to take advantage of my New Year’s Kick-off Coaching Special Offers!

Looking for a little proof in the pudding? Click here to read a letter from a past client who finally got her dream job.

This week I’m also excited to announce that I just had an article published in The Daily Muse! Below is an excerpt and a link to the entire piece.  Please use the icons at the end of the article on their  site or below this post to share with your networks 🙂
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

6 Things You Can Get from a Not-Quite Dream Job (Besides a Paycheck)

Whether you’re a recent grad, career changer, or in transition due to downsizing, at some point in your life, you’ll probably have to take a job that’s, well, less than ideal. Instead of spending your hours daydreaming about your future corner office, though, it’s essential to make every working moment count. Even seemingly insignificant jobs can be worth much more than the income they generate along the way. So, if you’re contemplating temping, working in retail, helping out at your dad’s firm, or taking the first paying position you were offered “just to pay the bills,” make sure that your gig does at least one of the following:

1. Helps You Develop a Skill for the Future

Think about what skills you might need to have for your dream job down the line, and look for jobs that let you build that experience. For example, when I decided that I wanted to start a nonprofit and realized that fundraising would be part of my daily routine, I knew I needed to beef up my assertiveness. So, I took a telemarketing job, where I spent my days cold calling doctors, persuading them to participate in focus groups.

I’m introverted by nature, so the experience (along with other seemingly insignificant part-time jobs I held, both before and after this one) helped me conquer my fear of the phone, learn to confidently interact with all sorts of people (including total strangers), and altogether come out of my shell. And in the end, these were vital skills for my future in nonprofits, sales, and public speaking. It certainly wasn’t my dream job, but I specifically chose it with the big picture in mind-and it ended up paying dividends far beyond the paycheck.

Click here for the full article

Personal Growth Gab will be back soon, but in the meantime I wanted to remind you that I’m here to help you re-boot for 2013 and beyond!  As per my eblast, please scroll down for my New Year Kick-off Coaching Special offers  –  just one week left!

If you missed last week’s blast, click here to read a letter from a past client who finally got her dream job.

This week I thought I’d send a link to an article called 5 Ways to Reboot & Recharge that I was featured in, with my particular section/shout-out copied here:

Check In On Work Goals
Career and life coach Kristina Leonardi reminds us that what we do for a living consumes the majority of our time and energy; make sure this year you are profiting from work you love. Kristina recommends re-assessing your current job situation: Do you contribute your natural talents and abilities in a meaningful way, or does it at least provide the means which allow you to pursue your passions after hours? If the answer is no, it’s time to make a change. Use these questions as a starting point to determine the priorities for your paychecks in the year ahead.
Click here for full article

Let me help you answer these questions and more by taking advantage of my special offer below.  I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Happy New Year!   Personal Growth Gab will be back at the end of the month, but in the meantime I wanted to remind you that I’m here to help you re-boot for 2013 and beyond!  As per last week’s eblast, please scroll down for my New Year Kick-off Coaching Special offers.

I thought I would also let you read a letter I received from a client named Sascha who attended several Thursdays at Three sessions in 2010. This past October she sent this email out of the blue and gave me permission to share it.

I wanted to do so not just to toot my own horn, but to show that when you determine and commit to what your ideal job is and go after it consciously with persistence, creativity, and my ‘wacky’ homework – and allow time to work its magic – you will get to where you want to be.

It’s a great example of how I tell people they need to know who they are and then seek work that engages all of their talents, passions and abilities, be patient and consistent, and eventually things will happen – remember, like I always say, the acorn does not become an oak tree overnight!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sent: Oct 23, 2012 1:44 PM
To: Kristina Leonardi
Subject: Re: Reminder: THIS WEEK 10/25 Thursdays at Three Group Coaching  

Hi Kristina,

I don’t know if you remember me – I was coming to your sessions a couple of years ago (which I really loved!) I was always interested in getting into something in the environmental field with my law degree. I think I told you that last year I joined a firm doing aircraft finance (not exactly the area I wanted to be in, but it was a paid full time job!). It’s been going well here – I really like the people I work with and the practice area is interesting, but again, it was never my passion. Last week a guy I had met through all my networking efforts in the environmental space (during the “dark years” of unemployment) emailed me and said that someone at his firm was leaving and he thought I’d be a good fit for the position. He is working in the firm’s renewable energy/project finance group. So I interviewed and they made me the offer! So I will now be a renewable energy lawyer – 3 long years after my quest to get into that field!

You were one of the first people I thought of when the opportunity came up. Your meetings were so helpful, supportive and inspiring. I never thought I would actually get into this field, but I guess the universe is definitely telling me something now! Thank you so much for all your support and encouragement during those “dark years”. I attribute a lot to you!

I really hope all is well with you.
Sascha

After my reply congratulating her and my request to share this, this is what she said:

Thanks so much, Kristina! You really were such a big part of me getting to where I am, and honestly you were one of the first people I thought of when even the hint of this opportunity came up because of all of your wonderful help in getting me to this point. Feel free to use my “story”/email as a testimonial….Thanks again for all your help and encouragement and for believing in me!

CLICK HERE FOR MY SPECIAL NEW YEAR COACHING OFFERS AND WORK WITH ME TODAY!

We are living in extraordinary times, asking us to dig deep and become stronger and better versions of ourselves, and improve our relationships to each other and the world around us. I hope to have helped make some sense of your journey by providing a little food for thought/comfort and perhaps a giggle along the way.

As we enter the last week of 2012, here’s a look back at fan favorites from this year’s original PGG posts:

Truth No. 2

Beauty in the Breakdown

All that You Can’t Leave Behind

Let the Sun Shine In

Heart & Soul

People Who Need People

World Wide Web

Shake Your Groove Thing

Wishing you and your family the very happiest of holidays! Here’s to making 2013 the most Peaceful & Prosperous it can be!

In 2009, Southern Australia experienced some of the worst bushfires in over 20 years.  But the climate and landscape make them a regular occurrence, and many flora and fauna have adapted over time to use these periodic blazes to fertilize its soil, spread their seed and regenerate more quickly. New species that can thrive in such conditions have been introduced and folks in many places have even used controlled forest fires to remove underbrush and clear land for other constructive uses.

So with all the heartache and devastation that accompanies such incidents, it’s important to remember that there is a positive and negative aspect to everything; even disasters can ultimately be productive and have a silver lining.  One thing is for sure: you cannot ignore a fire. 

Sometimes we get to the place where destruction is required for something to be addressed/corrected/acknowledged and/or given the opportunity for that which is new and improved to exist.  The riots in London, the stock market and debt ceiling madness, the crises in Syria and Somalia, extreme weather and other ‘fires’ both here and around the world are ablaze, calling us to pay attention to them in one way or another*. It’s up to us to know what needs to hosed down, and what needs to simply burn baby burn.

In many ancient cultures, it is said the immortal mythical phoenix dies many deaths by bursting into flames only to return once again, rising from its own ashes for all eternity.  As you look upon the landscape of your own life, what needs to be consumed and let go of in its current form in order to be reborn anew more magnificently?

Can’t quite see through the smoke or feel the heat? Give me a buzz and I’ll show you which fires need to be put out, which need to be stoked and where one might need to be consciously lit under your butt so that something better can sprout up in its place and you can move forward in any area of your life.  I’ll either be that spark to Light Your Fire or help you with Burning Down the House…

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on August 16, 2011)

P.S. For related thoughts on this topic check out Here Today, Gone Tomorrow and Joni Mitchell Never Lies.

Last week I gave a talk at SIBL and one of the attendees wrote about it for her blog, so I thought I’d share an excerpt with you here. Read the entire post along with her other thoughts at Girl At Work. Enjoy!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Yesterday I received three job rejections…all at the same time.

I have been actively looking to start my career since my graduation a year and a half ago. The search has been arduous to say the least, and for the first time I cried. I cried because I was frustrated, because I felt stuck. But mostly I cried because I did not know how much more rejection I could take…A moment later I dried my tears and began looking again.

Upon my search, I came across a post for an event titled Staying Motivated throughout the Job Search Process  by New York based speaker and career coach Kristina Leonardi. The event was scheduled for that same day at 6pm. I made a mad dash for the door hoping I would make it on time.

On my way over to the New York Science, Industry and Business Library, I prayed that the event would not be a waste of time. I was in no mood to hear the same old job search tips. You know, the ones you usually get from a talking head in a business suit telling you to put your best foot forward and “Network Network Network!”.  Fortunately, it was nothing like that.

Here are five things that I learned in that brief hour and a half:

  1. Identify your own definition of success   Success differs from person to person. Sure, many define it as being famous and making lots of money, but that’s not the case for everyone.   It is important to find the right combination of success for you. What does “making it” mean to you? What did you picture yourself doing as a kid? Reevaluate what it is that you want and align it with your career.

2. “Your time and energy are your most precious resources”   Your time and energy are yours and should be cherished as so. Being where you want to be requires that you put in work, so be mindful of what you spend your time and thoughts on. Your resources should be put to good use.

3. Its not all about credentials  As someone with a master’s degree that in practicality has been pretty much useless, I know this to be true!   Kristina’s resume is exemplary- she has taught, founded her own company, served as a career/life coach and several other magnificent feats, all with just a bachelor’s degree. Having the most diplomas does not mean you will accomplish the most- it takes much more than that.

4. “Check your ego at the door”  Kristina told us of the time that she took a job as a smoothie maker.   She did this, not as a teenager, but as an adult with several accomplishments already under her belt. She took that $10 an hour job in order to realign herself- what she got in return was a plethora of opportunities. She made connections with several of her customers and discovered a love for career/life coaching. It takes a lot to humble yourself and know that you are not “too good” to do something. The universe will reward you for it.

5. ” Patience: A grape does not become a vintage bottle of wine overnight.”  Even if you’re not a big drinker you’ve got to admit that this is a great quote! In your career, as in life, patience is key. Sometimes the universe puts things in front of you not when you want it, but when you are ready to get it. So…don’t give up.

 Click here for the full post.

I have a friend who is going through a major transition trying to figure out what to do next, how to reconcile his past and secure his future. He has been doing a lot of soul searching lately and excavating his talents, skills and passions. But in the process of shedding that old skin I suggested he let go of his action-oriented descriptions, telling him: You need to decide who you want TO BE not what you want TO DO.

I am always recommending that folks spend time in and learn from Nature because Nature just is. When talking about patience and process, my favorite saying is ‘the acorn does not become an oak tree overnight’. Also, remember that an acorn has the inherent DNA to become an oak tree – it doesn’t question it. It just allows itself to unfold and grow as it should, but will look and feel different at every stage of the process.

Many of us have recently been confronted with doing things, working at jobs, being with people or having a particular attitude that may be good or bad,  or we may or may not have enjoyed two, ten or fifteen years ago but still exist in our lives in some way. It’s important to remember that as we evolve, we need to discern just like those old clothes in the closet that you’ve outgrown or perhaps bought but never wore, or that simply don’t suit you anymore, who you were then is not who you are now – and adapt accordingly.   

Over the years I have seen the remarkable transformations my clients have made.  When they have committed to and then do the work, they are able to approach, interact and experience things in a vastly different way, and are stronger and wiser for the changes they have had to both endure and initiate.

Not quite sure if you’re an elm tree or an oak, or were one of those uprooted or lost during the storm? I can be the plutonium that powers your own personal time machine to let go of the past and go Back to the Future to dig around, make adjustments, and plant new seeds that will make the present moment the very best it can be!

(A version of today’s PGG was originally posted on November 2, 2010)

Do you have the discipline to be a free spirit? ~ Gabrielle Roth

In the movie Silver Linings Playbook, the main characters Pat and Tiffany are in training for a big dance competition that turns out to be much more than a fancy booty shaking contest.  A unique romantic dramedy, it’s a film that shows there is a fine line between sanity and insanity, acceptable versus unacceptable behavior, and the beauty of living life to the beat of your own drum.

In the movie The Sessions, Mark O’Brien is confined to an iron lung 20 hours a day, existing on a gurney unable to move from the neck down, and yet he writes poetry, is a professional journalist and decides to hire a sex surrogate so he can experience the most human of experiences. We go along on his journey (based on a true story!) and find him to be one of the most alive, loving and liberated individuals to have ever lived despite such extreme physical limitations.

And as seen in the movie Lincoln, our 16th president is clearly not your Average Joe.  He was always thinking out of the box, used his quirky sense of humor to diffuse or illuminate situations, and took numerous risks throughout the most heart-wrenching circumstances our country has endured.  He stretched the Constitution to its limit, working within an established framework while implementing his own interpretation and/or bending the rules based on his hard-earned wisdom, keen observations and superior judgment as unprecedented needs arose and critical decisions had to be made in order for progress to occur.

In the conscious movement class I take, we are told to  ‘dance it your way’ and have breaks of  ‘free dance’  where we boogie as we see fit; it’s not chaotic because there is an organized structure and unity contained within the flow as we come back together intermittently as a group throughout the hour.  It’s a super-small class because for many people, when given the opportunity to move and think for themselves, even for just a few moments, is a daunting and uncomfortable feeling; it’s an empowering exercise that requires more effort and less inhibition, and many simply don’t know what to do if they are not following the instructor. And that, my friends, is indicative of a larger problem with implications reaching much farther than a gym studio.

Spielberg’s Lincoln asks, “Do you think we choose to be born? Or are we fitted to the times we’re born into?”  As citizens of the 21st century, we are certainly living in extraordinary times that will require us to become the fullest and most unique beings we are meant to be.  We each have something that needs to be expressed, something that no other person on this planet, no one who has come before or will come after can express. Right now we need new ways of looking at old problems and to change old ways in order deal with new problems, so it’s more important than ever for you to do your own thang, because there is no other way to generate inspiration and birth innovation.

In any era it’s easy to get stuck in past habits and sucked into the zeitgeist of the day.  Resist the urge to follow the herd, fight to honor yourself, think and speak your own thoughts and begin to know and create yourself anew every moment of every day instead of getting swept up by social media, news, commercials, and even your peer groups, work and ethnic cultures or family and friends who are all, consciously or not, forces that can easily grab hold of your mind, body, spirit and/or bank account.  Don’t let your physical characteristics, family roots or societal dictates squash all the rhythms inside you that might be quite different from what those outside influences might have you believe, say or do.

Not sure exactly what your groove thing is? Give me a buzz and I’ll get you started with some basic choreography and point you in the right direction, because ultimately You Should Be Dancing your own steps throughout life, hopefully with a fun disco floor beneath your feet along the way!

P.S. For related thoughts on this topic, check out my posts:  Lucky Charms, A Fool’s Errand and New Rules.

I wanted to let you know how grateful I am for all of you – my readers, seminar attendees, and especially clients. You continue to enrich my life by providing numerous opportunities for me to express myself and the honor of using the best parts of me to work with the innermost parts of you.   

This has been a particularly challenging year for so many of us; be sure to reflect back on what you have learned and how you have grown because of it, and yes, appreciate the hard times as much, if not more, than all the ‘good’ stuff in your life!

Wishing you and your family a lovely Thanksgiving holiday! 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Whenever the fourth Thursday in November rolls around, we are meant to reflect on all the blessings in our lives. Traditionally that would imply appreciating all that is good or positive and bring us joy and happiness or that we could not live without. While that is certainly warranted, why not also be grateful for the funky, not-so-positive, annoying and pain-in-the-you-know- where stuff as well: the people, things and situations that challenge us, push our buttons or make us feel uncomfortable.

There is a saying that “There are no problems, only opportunities.” Our crises and difficulties are chances for us to test our mettle, see what we’re made of, and to become stronger and wiser for it. They are occasions for us to make course corrections, adjustments, tune-ups and put ourselves back in balance or on track, or perhaps a different, better track.  If things went great all the time you wouldn’t have to dig deep, really look at yourself, search within for answers, find new creative ways of doing things. Innovation is problem solving at its most basic level  (just watch those Dyson commercials), so where would we be without all the problems we’ve had?

Whether unemployed, having a health crisis or trouble in your personal or professional relationships, take a step back and see what is the Universe trying to show/teach you.  Remember those carbon atoms wouldn’t become diamonds without extreme high pressure and heat.

So this year, be thankful not only for the bird that you are about to eat (or tofurkey if that is more your style) but for all those ‘turkeys’ in your life: those folks and circumstances that have given you stress and grief but allowed you to go through and overcome whatever you needed to in order to grow and become the person that you are today.  And if you need a little help seeing how the cr*p in your life is really cool, give me a buzz and we’ll figure  out what should be basted and tasted, and what is simply a little fat that needs to be trimmed.

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on November 23, 2010.)