Hello! In case you missed last week’s PGG in the midst of election madness and a second storm warning, you can read my attempt to make sense of recent events with a post called World Wide Web.  

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What’s going on? Whether socially or sensually – many have gottin’ it on to Marvin Gaye’s tunes, being enlightened and healed in a variety of ways as a result. You say you want a revolution? The Beatles told us it’s gonna be alright.  And the Rolling Stones declared we can’t always get what we want, but if we try sometimes, we get what we need.

The turmoil taking place both here and across the pond (that would be an oil spill, flooding, volcanic ash clouds, tornadoes, bankrupt governments, elections up in the air, stock market plunging, foiled terrorist plot, political protests and strikes to name a few) can make you a little on edge if you really take a minute to consider all these upheavals happening simultaneously. If you are feeling directly affected or anxious about it, there are ways to keep you in the groove.

Think about what crisis is bubbling up or spinning out of control in your world physically, emotionally or otherwise? Since we are all connected on one level or another, each of us can create peace in our own piece of the pie. If we take responsibility to put out, learn from and even prevent massive fires from happening in our individual lives, we’ll be doing our part to keep things as collectively calm as possible.

So if you find yourself in a bit of stormy seas, give me a buzz.  I’ll help you see what might be stirring things up and offer solutions to get you back on course.  Like Simon & Garfunkel, I can be that bridge over troubled water that eases your mind!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on May 11, 2010.)

P.S. Looking for a little more reading material? Check out two articles I was featured in:  What I Learned Working with a Career Coach and Five Simple Tips for Finding Your Life’s Purpose.  Feel free to tweet and share:) 

The Saturday before Sandy, I was at a Halloween party. The host went to town with decorations, and in several corners had massive floor to ceiling spider webs. Little did I know what foreshadowing that would be for the week ahead!

Four years ago this week we were on the eve of a historic presidential election, after a historic financial disaster. That Fall the unimaginable became imaginable on both fronts when we chose our first Black president and watched the implosion of the stock market and our banking system. This woke us up in more ways than one, and both divided and connected us.

Fast forward to today, and we are on the eve of yet another historic election, the outcome yet to be determined, and post another disaster, this time a natural one which at the end of the day is hitting us materially as much as anything else. And we are even more divided, yet more connected than ever.

After the financial crisis of 2008, because of the actions of a relative few that rippled throughout the world, at the very least we were forced to deal with our addiction to credit and consumerism, and at the worst lost our homes and jobs because of it. Now it’s Mother Nature aided by the man-made contribution to/ignorance of climate change who is now teaching us that lesson with a more visceral punch as we recover from power outages and gas shortages at the least, and physical destruction of our property and loss of life at the worst.

Since this hit the tri-state area, because of its special density of population and unique connection to the global as well as local economy, no one is exempt from this lesson, as everyone has been affected in one way or another – it’s just who, what, when, where, how and level of gravity that varies.

In the middle of the storm, the façade of an apartment building in Chelsea was ripped off, showing a dollhouse-like view of the inside, a symbolic representation of what is happening to us physically and emotionally as the walls and structures between and around us are being torn down in order to reveal the truth of our lives.

Our interconnectedness and vulnerability have been thrown in our face – not only through weather, power, gas, goods and services, transportation, and social media, but relationally too. How long can you co-exist in the disconnected dark, live back at mom’s, stay at your friend’s or sleep with strangers at a shelter 24/7? How many days can you work from home or miss it, or have three hour commutes or wait hours in line for gas without losing it ? Community is a funny thing in New York – we like the anonymity and self-sufficiency of living on top of each other and the illusion of togetherness that brings, but having to actually interact and be with each other and ask for or receive help, is another story.

People have mentioned how Sandy is too ‘nice’ a moniker for what she did, but just like the gentle soul of  Frankenstein for which she was also named, there is goodness to be found underneath the external horror of her monsterous appearance. She is asking us to come together like never before and question the deepest meaning of our lives; she is forcing us not only to realize but to actually experience the ways in which we are now more connected than ever, more interdependent than at any other time in history. And it is a gift because experience is usually the only way we humans learn, and that, as painful as it may be, is something to be grateful for if we choose to accept it as such.

Like big elections, these are the occasions when we focus passionately around something that impacts us all; they bring out the best and worst in us; we get to see people’s true colors good, bad or indifferent; how flexible we can be; how generous and open-hearted we are, how we distill down what is vitally important; what is a necessity, and what is merely a luxury – or when suddenly those necessities become luxuries after not having them for a few days. It tests our patience, politeness, perseverance and willingness to exist in the present. It also shows us the incredible strength and spirit of humanity, our willingness to help one another, our capacity for leadership and organization, and our ability to rise to the occasion in times of crisis.

So remember, when we wake up tomorrow morning, no matter what the result of this election is, and no matter where you live in this country or on this planet, what we do know for sure, now more than ever, is that we are all in this together.

Hello! I hope you are doing as well as possible after Sandy hit us with her best shot. This is a post from two years ago when we experienced some crazy weather; but since today is October 31st, if you’re more in the mood for a Halloween-themed post, check out Wherever You Go, There You Are,  American Horror Story or Fear Factor). Stay safe everyone!

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At a recent and much overdue reflexology session with my friend  Noga Kreiman, I tried to sum up the tumultuous happenings within and around me these past couple weeks that culminated in my visit to her.  As we looked out the window at the fallen trees in her Park Slope backyard she very aptly said, “Sounds like you had your own personal tornado!”

Last week violent weather unleashed its power on much of the Northeast, with the NYC area hit pretty hard.  If you weren’t addressing the external collateral damage or power outages it caused, there’s a good chance you might have been dealing with some other sort of inner or outer turmoil in your life.

In times like these, it’s important to embrace the destruction and changes taking place, recognizing that often old structures and behaviors need to be demolished and uprooted in order for new ones to be rebuilt stronger and better. Don’t neglect whatever the eye of the storm, and its aftermath, are telling you to pay attention to.

We also need to ask for help when we need it, as difficult as it may be to admit and take that step to reach out. Staying isolated is a fast track into a downward spiral, just like a twister that touches down and in seconds wreaks arbitrary and unnecessary havoc.

So if you are a bit distressed, or feeling like Sting circa 1979, don’t wait for a hundred billion bottles to wash ashore; simply give me a buzz, or send me an email message, and I’ll be that lifeline to bring you safely back to drier land and calmer skies.

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on September 21, 2010.  For similar thoughts on this topic check out: Mercy Mercy Me, The Roof is On Fire, The Heat is On/Under Pressure, and Out of Control.) 

P.S. Check out two new mini-videos:  Never take a job just for the money and Why are you doing what you’re doing? excerpts from my recent talk at SIBL.  

Synergy – the bonus that is achieved when things work together harmoniously. ~ Mark Twain

I find it curious that the words desperate and disparate sound so similar; and although their meanings are distinct and technically have nothing to do with each other, I think there is a correlation.

A well known strategy used by one group to influence power over another is to ‘divide and conquer’; to keep people, things, countries, ideas, religions, and feelings separate and often opposed to one another.  This way they are unable to come together as a unified force and therefore have strength to accomplish their goals and objectives, which dis-empowers them. Regardless of whether the power desired or deserved outcome on either end is good or bad, it is a tactic that is extremely effective.

The most obvious place to observe this happening is in the military and political arenas, but there are more subtle ways that this truth can affect us in our everyday lives – within our families, at our jobs, in our neighborhoods, in the media and entertainment we consume  and often, within ourselves.

Lately I’ve noticed a lot of folks are feeling disjointed, fragmented and compartmentalized at best; discombobulated or defeated at worst.  Everywhere we turn there seems to be  a sledgehammer creating wedges and a myriad of distractions coming at us from all sides: it’s us against them, head against heart, black vs. white, profit versus purpose, logic battling intuition, young vs. old;  material values vs. spiritual ones, mental vs. emotional health vs. physical health.

As the saying goes, we can’t serve two masters – we must be unified in that which we revere and honor, integrate our disparate parts and connect to who we are, so that we can connect to others for the greater good.  Because when we don’t, we  feel lost and alone, which when not addressed, can lead to feeling desperate. And that is never a good place to be – because decisions made from fear and desperation are never the best choices.

So if you’re having a little trouble synthesizing your yin with your yang, make sure you take some quality time with yourself and/or give me a buzz; just like Stevie and Paul’s piano, I’ll help arrange all your internal and external parts in a way that you, too, can live with yourself, and others, in perfect harmony.

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on April 5, 2011)

P.S. Check out two new mini-videos:  Never take a job just for the money and Why are you doing what you’re doing? excerpts from last week’s talk at SIBL.

And that would be….ME!  Yes, you receive these tidbits and thought-provoking essays every week at no charge, so every once in a while I have to do some shameless self-promotion, ’cause a girl has got to eat. And of course, perhaps you can benefit as these folks have!

As you know, for the past month I’ve been asking through an anonymous survey what you thought of PGG as well as my speaking and coaching services.  Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond and for your very generous feedback and valuable suggestions.

I thought I might share a few of the written responses here; if you were thinking of working with me as a coach it might give you a better idea of what to expect, or if you’re not sure how to describe me to a friend you can just forward them this email!

Be sure to scroll down for some of my upcoming speaking gigs, and please note that our regularly scheduled program will resume next week…

P.S. Remember you can always get your PGG fix by clicking on the archives below which has every post from the past two and a half years.

With over 50 comments from the survey results to choose from, some themes definitely emerged and I’ve tried to capture them here – hey, at least I’m consistent!  

She has a laid-back approach, but don’t let that fool anyone. Her ability to read people is amazing and her assessments of how a person can enrich their lives/careers are spot-on. After she asked me lots of questions, she was somehow able to give me an assessment that was frighteningly accurate and illuminating.

She’s really understanding and inspiring. Coaching sessions are not a simple  “make your resume look like this and you’ll get a job” – Kristina gets to the bottom of your issues and brings them to the top. I always leave a session feeling refreshed and inspired. 

Kristina is a special person with a singular passion for empowering people to get the most out of their lives.  Most notable is her rare quality to really get to the root/essence of a person/issue and make people feel as though they are being focused on deeply and solely—she is not thinking about anything other than YOU and your situation and what she can do to help guide and make things go on a better path.

I thank Kristina for looking beyond the descriptions of what I’ve told her regarding my current situation when advising me. Kristina looks at what you don’t say as opposed to what she thinks you want to hear.

I appreciate the way Kristina can blend all the facets of life/career from the corporate world to astrology to physical health-she has a bird’s eye view of all these realms and more which make her very helpful to me. Like a really smart Mom.

Kristina does business with HEART. Her insight and intuition are very strong. She cares very deeply when she works with you and you feel very taken care of.

She never deals with the “surface” issues. She makes you delve deep to get at the root issue to put you back on the right path for it to no longer be an issue in your life. She makes the personal work just as important (sometimes more important) as professional/business stuff. I BELIEVE she wants the best for me and that I’m not just another client.

Her no nonsense way of relating information. In my experience, Kristina is more blunt and honest which is appreciated!

I like everything about how Kristina works because it almost seems custom made for the individual she is working with. 

Kristina gave me permission to be myself!  I can say no other person has empowered me in that way as much as she has – and I am TRULY forever grateful for that.   

A session with Kristina is always an investment in myself. I never feel like any time was wasted and I always leaving feeling better and more inspired than I did when I got there.

In the year 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue…Whether or not you approve of the outcome of that fateful voyage of the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria, we can all learn from Columbus’ extreme act of faith and belief in himself when he left to explore a New World despite all odds.

Albert Einstein believed in intuition and inspiration, saying “Imagination is more important than knowledge”.  The greatest discoveries in the world are often based on hunches, on people with a vision and certain knowingness, and then moving forward with courage, determination and perseverance, they set out to prove it.

People may think you’re crazy, want to dissuade you, say your theories are wrong; even those closest to you who have the very best of intentions can only project their version of the truth and what they think is right.  But they simply may not understand, and at the end of the day, we must be the captain of our own ship.

Once you embark on that journey, you will always encounter stormy skies, dis-ease, and potential mutiny along the way, whether from external sources and naysayers or internal voices of doubt and despair from your ego trying to take over what your heart and gut knows to be true, without the proof and evidence yet in existence. But we must remain steady as she blows!

We each have an internal compass, our own personal North Star which may very well lead us on a different path from everyone around us or society as a whole.  We are unique beings, so only you know what’s right for you and ultimately the direction you want to be going in.  And if you’re wrong or it doesn’t work out the way you planned, at least you will have tried, and will learn and grow along the way. You may even find something better than what you originally envisioned…

So if you need a little adjustment of your internal GPS,  an experienced cartographer, or just some help handling what Mother Nature throws your way, give me a buzz and I’ll be the wind that gives lift to your sails, assists in navigating those uncharted waters and supports you in staying the course!

LAST CHANCE: Click here for a survey to tell me what you think about my stuff and get a $10 discount on my services!

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. ~ C.S. Lewis

Despite what Simon & Garfunkel once sang, we are not rocks, nor islands, as many of us (especially those drawn to live in the metropolis that is New York) might want to be. The irony of course is that the very nature of being human means we are part of a greater whole and must interact with other human beings on many levels. Yet a sense of connection and belonging doesn’t always come from the family, tribe or culture we are born into so we must create that connection authentically first within ourselves and then with others.

Relationships are one of the most difficult areas for us homo sapiens to navigate, and they are the biggest source of our pleasure as well as our pain.  The past three years or so we have had an advanced course in them; I for one can say as difficult as it’s been, have learned some new and deeper versions of lessons I know will serve me well in the future, all of which culminated in a super-summer intensive, with this harvest season reaping the wisdom culled from that journey.

Some of those nuggets include: finding the balance between losing ourselves/being co-dependent versus isolating and becoming a monk (or a psychopath); having boundaries and not taking on/feeling responsible for another’s emotional or other type of well-being; nurture yourself, no one can know exactly what you need but you; see a person and a relationship as they really are, not how you’d like them to be. And regarding those close/intimate relationships that are more difficult or challenging, keep in mind that person – whether parent, boss, spouse, sibling, lover, friend, child – is just the actor playing the role in a scenario you have created in order to heal and grow. 

Lastly, the people you choose to allow into your life – your friends/boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/partner should meet certain criteria. The word ‘friend’ especially has been so diluted and watered down with the use of Facebook and social media you need to be able to separate the wheat from the chaff and discern the  Apples from Oranges. 

The foundation of a relationship with anyone deserving of your time and energy must include understanding, appreciation and respect – you should be able to check off at least two of these to be considered a friend, and if you are fortunate to have someone in your life who truly understands, appreciates and respects you, you are very, very lucky and should treasure and honor that relationship for the special gem that it is.

The bottom line is, You Gotta Have Friends, and making time for friendships and your most important relationships is not a luxury but a necessity. It’s easy to get caught up in the day to day busy-ness of life, but we need to discipline ourselves to create space for connecting with the people who love and accept us, who know and understand us, with whom we share interests and history, and have grown together, not apart.

Not sure who are your buds and who are the duds in your life? Give me a buzz and we’ll see which relationships are ripe for the pickin’ and which ones have taken a lickin’!

LAST CHANCE: Click here for a survey to tell me what you think about my stuff! 

P.S. Check out this article I was quoted in last week! Five Ways to Ace a Networking Meeting on FindtheRightJob.com 

When things aren’t quite going your way, it’s easy to fall into the grass is always greener syndrome. But as the saying goes, before you judge a man (or covet his life), walk a mile in his shoes.

You don’t have to turn back the clock , eat a magical fortune cookie, ride in a souped up DeLorean or relieve yourself in an enchanted fountain to discover your life and relationships are exactly as they should be, or get the kick in the butt to make them better.

The fact is our lives are the sum total of all the choices we’ve ever made up until this point – a combination unique unto ourselves, which means we have created the situation that on some level we’ve wanted or needed in order to learn and grow on this journey called life.

So whatever your state of affairs, take full responsibility for it. The good news is that if you don’t like it, because you got yourself into it, you totally have the power to get out of it!

A lot of my clients right now are at the point of no return – where there’s no turning back or delaying the inevitable any longer.  They’ve gotten to a place where the only thing to do is to go through – there is no way round, there is no way back – they need to make a change or take action in a certain direction because at this point there really is no other alternative, whether because of forced external realities or an internal malaise and dissatisfaction that they can no longer withstand.

Why changes haven’t been made up to now is a more complicated and varied topic for another time; often it’s a stronger sense of obligation to others and what they would want or would make them happy that prevents us from moving forward to the beat of our own drum. But contrary to Hollywood plots, we are the ones who have to live in our bodies, so it’s up to us to do what needs to be done. It’s time to go big or go home.

Not fully convinced you don’t have to go all topsy turvy or time-travelly to get it right? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the freaky fictional device that helps you wake up and smell the coffee. You’ll understand and appreciate where you’re at and what changes you can make in order to learn and experience whatever you need to be the best you can be, Right Here, Right Now.

I’d love to get your feedback about my weekly eblasts and services. *Click here to take a survey and give me your two cents!*

One thing we know for sure is that history, unfortunately, often repeats itself. War is rarely simple or justified. We’ve had so many movies and video games laden with violence that as a society we’ve become desensitized. What we see on the big screen is now starting to unfold in reality on the small;  even still there has been so much massive tragedy and destruction the last several years, both natural and man-made, it doesn’t even phase us as much as it should. As long as we still have our DWTS, American Idol and Jersey Shore we can numb ourselves and tune out.  When will we ever learn?

Because we’ve been lulled into such a state of complacency and so many are dealing with financial survival, the gravity of what happened this weekend* is barely registering our richter scale. But if you can’t comprehend and connect globally, then at least reflect and act locally.

There’s a old song that says “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.” So the question is: Are you at war with yourself? Is your head battling your heart and gut as to the direction it wants to go, or your body struggling with your mind and not doing what you need it to?  Where in your life is history repeating itself? What conflicts are constantly being re-created with different uniforms, labels, scenarios and countries?

As Bob Marley sang, we don’t need No More Trouble, not only with our multi-front wars in the Middle East, but our wars at home on the middle class,  women’s health, Muslims, and homosexuals to name a few. Right now we’re Rock in the Casbah but at the end of the day All You Need is Love, so start by learning to Love the One You’re With – yourself and those closest to you. Then, and only then, can we start to truly stand united and break the chains of our past.

As Yogi Berra famously said, ‘It ain’t over til it’s over’, so if you’re feeling like you’ve been stuck in a Nick at Nite  M*A*S*H marathon loop, give me a buzz and we’ll pull the plug, launch Operation Open Heart and finish this thing once and for all

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted in full on March 22, 2011)

 P.S. I want your Two Cents!  Click here for a survey to tell me what you think about my stuff!

Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength. ~ Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. ~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau

I find it curious that the word patient has two distinct meanings, yet both encompass bearing some level of discomfort over a period of time (even if it’s just being in the waiting room of a doctor’s office!).

We all have individual and collective anniversaries, memories and milestones that we share to some degree or another; regardless if they were positive or negative, hopefully you are able to see the growth and healing that has since transpired. Tomorrow will mark three months to the day  my mom underwent open heart surgery and after minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week of attention, care and rest, she was back out at her clubs  (yes plural, and yes, as in nightclubs/dancing) this past weekend.

It’s truly amazing what time can do when you give it a chance to work its magic. But in this action-oriented -left -brained- results- demanding- pill -for-everything-instant-information-fast-food society we now find ourselves, time gets a bad rap.  Faster is perceived to always be better and action trumps rest in the eyes of others.  With almost everything available to us on demand and bottles of 5 hour energy at our disposal, we’ve grown impatient beyond reasonable expectations.

“Patience is a virtue” and “Time heals all wounds” are two of my favorite adages, because they express the type of ‘muscles’ I’ve exercised and ‘tools’ I’ve developed – you guessed it – over time – as they become realities when you see the proof in the pudding. In my coaching and speaking work, I am constantly trying to get folks to understand that despite the fact that we are living in a 24/7 instant access technological wonderland, that in fact Nature does not work that way – the acorn does not become an oak tree overnight!

Clients are often frustrated with me when I advise them not to do anything that they consider as ‘doing’ or will have a direct and immediate impact on their job search or life’s path. What I suggest doesn’t mean they should sit around twiddling their thumbs, it’s about understanding that there is a process; it’s inner work through activities that don’t seem ‘productive’ or results-producing, when in fact they are the true heavy lifting of personal growth.  We all have wounds that need to be healed, and not addressing them or allowing them the time and space to do so is often what blocks us from moving forward, therefore, that is where time and energy needs to be spent!

I am always planting seeds when I work with clients, giving them ideas and suggestions they may not necessarily be ready to implement immediately, but something they should think about, pay attention to and consider down the road. I also guide them towards the many stepping stones they need to take on the path to their ultimate goal, whether they are aware of that goal or not.

The philosopher Kierkegaard said, “Patience is necessary, and one cannot reap immediately where one has sown.”   I have had the pleasure to find out recently how many of my clients are beginning to reap what they have sown, with projects, jobs and opportunities that are only now coming to fruition, one, two and even four years after we met, which is extremely rewarding and only reinforces the ‘method to my madness’.

The paradox and balancing trick of course is that time doesn’t stop; it can pass us by quickly so we need to be in motion with it and ‘make hay while the sun shines.’  But on the other hand we need to accept and be comfortable with what is realistic in terms of how long things take to change and develop. Just like we are all students in this school called Life, we are all patients in the healing of our lives which is part of what growing means – healing the wounds of our past so we can move forward ever more healthy and strong.

Need a little help on your journey from acorn to oak tree, or from wounded to well?  Give me a buzz and I’ll take a look to see how you can use the gift of time to speed things up or slow them down, keeping in mind, that might just be the opposite of what you think…

P.S. For related thoughts on this topic check out my posts A More Perfect Union, One Day at a Time, Tangible Schmangible

P.P.S. Have you seen the article yet on Forbes.com:What I Learned Working with a Career Coach? Please share with your peeps and tell them to join my mailing list.