We’re working our jobs, collect our pay
Believe we’re gliding down the highway, when in fact we’re slip slidin’ away ~  Paul Simon

How is it that next week is Thanksgiving?! I’m not sure why the older we get the faster time seems to go, but coupled with the technological superhighway we’ve been on, the perception of it is certainly speeding up and life is passing us by in a blink of an eye.

Between the boob tube, a gazillion distractions on the internet, aimless nights out on the town or sales at the mall, and whatever celebrity gossip channels and news media outlets force us to be focused on at the moment, it’s easy to lose track of what we can control and create for ourselves.

And no matter what you do for a living, it’s easy to let the daily grind eat up your days;  if you’re not connected in a meaningful way to your work it makes it worse, and if you have others to care for on top of your own stuff that adds even more to your load.  Whew!

This is why it’s so important to stop every now and then – daily, weekly, monthly quarterly – the more the better – to see what’s really happening in your life, rather than perpetually going through the motions to get through the day.

I am constantly reminding my audiences and clients that our time and energy are our most precious resources, so with only seven weeks left of 2011, take this opportunity to check in to see if you’ve been using yours the way you said you would back in January.  Have you checked off all the things you wanted to accomplish before the clock strikes midnight on December 31st?  If not, there’s still a reasonable amount of time to do something about a few of them I’m sure.

It’s also that time of year when we reflect upon all the blessings in our lives – and no matter how challenging things might be, we can always find something for which to give thanks.

Because unlike the shows on our DVR’s, we cannot simply rewind our lives and recover lost time, but we can review for ourselves what’s transpired in order to learn from our experiences and move forward with a better understanding and clearer purpose for whatever is next on the horizon.

Not sure where the minutes, hours and days are going, what you did with the ones you had, or feel like you don’t have anything to put on your gratitude list this year?  You can get some ideas from Alanis, or simply give me a buzz – we’ll do an instant replay and send you on your way!

Kristina

P.S.I am very grateful for all of you out there who continue to read my thoughts in these blasts, with a special shout-out to those who take the time to give me your feedback – it lets me know that the 5-7 hours I spend working on them each week are not in vain or wasted away in some digital black hole….Merci, gracias, danke, xie xie!

“There’s just me.” ~ Jill Scott 

The number one has always garnered a lot of attention. With all that talk about the top 1%, who came in first place and what gets to be number one on which list, it should be no surprise there has been lots of hoopla about last week’s date, 1-1-11, and even more for this Friday, 11-11-11.

It only takes one person to change the world (for good or bad), and whether conscious of it or not, we all strive to have those blissful moments of becoming one with something or someone outside ourselves; it can happen with your loved one, but also with your dance partner, your paintbrush, your horse,  your golf club, your violin, with Nature and the whole of humanity.

We also need to take care number one, because if you don’t who will? How can you help anyone else if you haven’t first cared for yourself?  And hey, if you’re happy there’s a much greater chance of everyone around you being happy too, just like the pebble thrown in a pond whose ripples go out far beyond…

And one doesn’t have to be the Loneliest Number, because at the end of the day you’re the only one you’ve got – no one else can inhabit your body, mind and spirit and experience your challenges and successes. You are ultimately responsible for your joy and fulfillment, how you relate to the world and make the most of what you’ve been given.  We only have One Live to Live, so how can you know and love who you are and what you think, feel and desire if you don’t spend some quality alone time with yourself on a regular basis?

The proverbial saying tells us a journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step, so now is as potent a time as any to finally make some effort, take some action towards a goal or way of being that you want to achieve and/or be open to discover new, unimagined opportunities and vistas that may bring you out of your comfort zone but closer to your best life.

As Bono sings, we’re One, but we’re not the same; we’ve got to carry each other, so give me a buzz and I’ll help you figure out how there’s just One in a Million You, show you what should be Numero Uno in your life right now and move you towards feeling One Love more than ever!

I walk.  A lot.  My feet are my major source of transportation, as my Manhattan abode and general goings-on allow me to do so with relative ease.  It’s nothing for me to walk 30 blocks instead taking a subway, bus or cab.  If the ride is going to be 25 minutes or less plus walking to/from the destination, I often prefer to hoof it for the fresh air, exercise and lack of crowds, plus I save a few bucks and sometimes it’s actually faster!  I put on my Ipod, clear my mind and de-stress with each step; I consider it a moving meditation and wonder what discoveries I’ll make along the way.

But in the Big Apple with its hustle and bustle, we must walk around with a little protective bubble around us to keep us sane and safe – because if we truly took everything in all at once there would be serious stimulation overload, and perhaps a few unpleasant experiences.

Sometimes though, people take being in their own world to the extreme. I regularly observe legally blind men and women fumble or wait at a corner only to have folks of all kinds pass them by as if they were invisible.  Perhaps a few notice but not sure what to do or are uncomfortable approaching a stranger.  I generally ask, “Do you need any assistance?”  Sometimes the answer is “No, thank you,”  but more often than not they just need to be pointed in the right direction, know if it’s okay to cross the street or confirm what block they are on.  Other times I’m met with profound relief as they grab my arm while I escort them wherever they need to go.

It never takes more than a minute or two, and the fact that no one else seemed to care upsets me every time. All it means is being a little more aware of your surroundings, which is a good thing no matter what, while still maintaining your “Don’t mess with me” NYC look and attitude as you strut you stuff.

But I realize there’s also something deeper to be learned from these moments, especially when they occur more than once in the course of a week: What is it that I’m not seeing in my own life?  Where is my blind spot? Or how can I do more to show others what they cannot see for themselves?

So big guy (or gal), asking for direction(s) is never easy, but we all need help now and then. Looking for some assistance getting from point A to B?  Give me a buzz and I’ll be happy to get you on the right path and walk you through, step by step, guiding as much or as little as you’d like along the way!

Halloween used to be one of, if not my favorite holidays.  Costumes, parties, piles of candy not normally allowed in the house (Choco-Lites were the best!), collecting pennies in my orange UNICEF box… As a young adult it became more about creating unique/clever ensembles from thrift stores or scratch, then later marching in the Village Parade years before it became the monstrosity (pun intended) it is today.  No matter what, it was always good clean fun.

The past several years, at least in NYC, there’s been an explosion of Halloween hacks (pun again intended).  Like so many other things, it’s been commercialized ad nausea with store bought costumes (a Ricky’s on every corner it seems), mostly slutty versions of professions, or zombies, and an excuse to blackout from drinking instead of it being an opportunity for creativity, imagination and humor.

There used to be a small crop of horror flicks that came out around this time (and a few in the summer) with fellas named Michael, Freddy, Jason and Chucky; now it’s year round vampires, witches, werewolves, haunted houses and a host of other things that are sick, twisted and go more than bump in the night, on TV/cable as well as the big screen, not to mention video games that take violence in general to a whole other level – all of which further desensitizes us to brutal attacks both at home and abroad.

What if instead we took the best of the other holiday seasons (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s, Fourth of July even!) with as many secular feel-good themes and positive sentiments that abound and spread that 24/7?  There’s enough negativity and fear to deal with in the reality of our everyday lives, so wouldn’t it be nice to bombard ourselves year-round with the uplifting and leave the scary/slasher stuff to just a few weeks prior to October 31?

The good news is you have a choice in what you let sink into your brain cells. I choose to acknowledge the dark side yet turn the other way, put on some shades and counteract the sinister with sunshine and hope that reflects back to make a brighter, lighter world, at least in my neck of the woods.

Need a one-way ticket out of Spookytown to experience a more ‘normal’ type of activity in and around your abode?  I’m not a Stranger and won’t make you Scream, so give me a buzz and I’ll help you gain the confidence you need to take on any trick and enjoy plenty of treats instead!

P.S. For related thoughts on this topic, check out these posts: Fear Factor; Wherever You Go, There You Are; Your Epidermis is Showing 

Whether you think we are living in the best of times or the worst, they certainly are interesting times.

I assure you that I am very much part of the 99% being represented in Zuccotti Park, and now all around the world. I stand with the Occupy Wall Street movement in so far as it is protesting greed and corruption, which is a misuse of power in the area of money; but it’s important to remember that money itself did not cause the problem.     

Fighting to bring justice to those who have gotten away with crime and to help those who are suffering because of it is one thing; hating all people who have money, even those that earned it with integrity and hard work does not make sense.  It doesn’t even make sense to hate the system that allowed it to happen; it’s people that abused and twisted the system to their advantage.    

I love money.  It took me a long time to understand and be comfortable saying that because of all the connotations, including the school of thought that espouses “money is evil” and “rich people are bad”.  But I know I have my priorities straight and I’ve come to see money as something I strive to have a healthy and balanced relationship with; therefore if I want to have more of it, I have to love and respect it so it can treat me right.  If I hated money, why would money come into my life?   

I also know that money isn’t the end, it’s simply the means, and I’ve only ever given it a supporting role status in life, never the be-all, end-all of my existence. (Just ask my friends and family who have witnessed my journey these past ten years…!) Money is an energy and just like any other type of energy, it’s how you use it that counts.  I am still learning, but because of the choices I have made and the extremes I have experienced, I have come to a Zen place with it at least for now.

The necessity of money in our lives is a reality that is not going away anytime soon, if ever, and changing the ways in which we exchange goods and services or govern ourselves won’t make much of a difference if people themselves don’t change.

As I say in all my seminars, at the end of the day you need to define what prosperity means for you in all aspects of life.  You must know that you are not your bank account and your self-worth and happiness are not determined by your salary or your stuff. 

Wondering how you can get from being a have-not to a having a life that is affluent in mind, body and spirit?  Give me a buzz and I’ll help you go from rags to riches, pauper to prince(ss), creating an earthly experience filled with purpose and meaning that surpasses all the Great Expectations you could ever have!

P.S. For related thoughts on this topic, check out these posts:  Money Makes the World Go Round, Changing of the Guard; Work It 

P.P.S. Last week I was featured last week in a column in the Huffington Post, check it out here!

“And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”  ~ Steve Jobs

Back in 2001, I visited a tech writer friend in San Francisco. He had a clunky gizmo about the size of a small hardcover book which he called an electronic jukebox; it allowed him to carry around and play his entire record collection on demand.  I was blown away.  Who knew that just a few years later I would own one myself,  only mine was sleeker, smaller and held even more songs?

I’m a PC, but one of my most essential possessions is my iPod, and Steve Jobs’ 2005 commencement speech brilliantly articulates my understanding of life and how I try to express that through my own work and existence. Heeding his heart and intuition from an early age, combined with his intelligence and curiosity, allowed Steve Jobs to become the incredible innovator and visionary that he was. And because of it I’m sure there were many people along the way that thought he was a little coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs.

Last week the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize  went to three women, one of which was Leymah Gbowee.  Featured in the film Pray the Devil Back to Hell, Leymah was the main force behind the courageous movement that brought Liberia back to civilization and sanity in the midst of a barbaric civil war. She listened to her heart and intuition and then strategically called upon the united and unique position of women within the culture, the power of prayer and sheer will to transform a nation engulfed by darkness. Throughout the non-violent campaign she used innovative tactics that appeared crazy to many.  When I watched the film, I knew I was witnessing a modern day miracle; I was blown away. 

Yesterday’s holiday was named for an Italian fellow named Christopher Columbus who in 1492 not only had the guts to assert his belief the world was round and new lands were yet to be explored, but to actually go out and prove it.  Many thought he was insane to set sail into the unknown; even his native country would not fund his so-called folly.  But because he had the courage of his conviction supported by faith and reason to guide him, he literally opened up the world for humanity to discover each other; for better or for worse, things have never been the same. When I think about what it took to make that journey, I am blown away.

We never would have survived or evolved beyond the caveman era without the brave men and women like these who have stayed hungry and foolish throughout history. Because when you allow your passion and talent to be guided by a mind which receives direction from your heart, you can create something, be someone or do something extraordinary.   

Feeling a little too satiated and serious these days?  Give me a buzz, and I will help whet your appetite for life and discern whether the direction you’re going in and the ideas that you have are more of a wild goose chase or the kind that will one day blow me away!

P.S. For related thoughts on this topic, check out these posts: Just Go With It,  Leap of Faith, and One Day at a Time.

Age is all imagination. Ignore years and they’ll ignore you. – Ella Wheeler Wilcox

I’m one of those people who doesn’t remember how old she is.  Because 1. it’s irrelevant and 2. I honestly feel like I’m 25 (I’m not).  I believe this is the main reason others often assume I am much younger than my birth certificate would state, and I recently came across a greeting card that perfectly expressed this phenomena which read: “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?”

I like to think of myself as ageless and timeless, but my brain will do a double take every now and then when I find out the numbers of people around me (whose age when you originally met them you think they somehow still are, even though 14 years have passed) or when I hear that famous folks the likes of Beyonce, Britney, Paris and Justin are all turning 30 this year, and about Sting, who just turned 60?! But then again, 60 is the new 40…

And then there’s my Mom, who will be celebrating her 66th revolution around the sun next Monday, but who has been experiencing the adolescence and early adulthood she never had, which began a few years after becoming single again at the age of 51 when my father passed away.   She is out at her clubs most Friday, Saturday AND Sunday nights, dancing and flirting into the wee hours of the morning.  She does online dating (several sites), has oodles of admirers (many younger than her) and a gang of giggly girlfriends (mostly around her age) to have fun with and gossip about it all. Really, I’m not exaggerating. My friends are in awe… 

I was recently invited to two fancy shindigs honoring and almost exclusively attended by men and women in their “third acts.” It made me reflect on how I’ve lived my life so far and reminded me that vitality at any age is always about how you take care of and feel about yourself, and re-enforced my trademark admonishment to make the most of the time and energy you have while you have it.

Abraham Lincoln once said “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”  So I say who cares about the number?!  Just embrace wherever you’re at and let your enthusiasm for living make you glow.  Not feeling like you’re getting the best bang for your mind, body and spirit’s buck?  Give me a buzz and I’ll help you make the most of the years you’ve got, no matter how many you’ve already left behind!

I recently attended the screening of a very cool documentary called Connected.  An ambitious undertaking, filmmaker Tiffany Shlain has presented some interesting ideas and factoids in a unique visual way about the history of who we are and the connections we have to each other from the past, present and where we might be headed in the future.

One of the best tidbits I learned was that if you hug someone for six seconds or more, a dose of the feel-good hormone oxytocin is released.

Many of you who have worked with me individually, in a group or have talked to me after one of my workshops or seminars know that I’m a big hugger.  In addition to hugging my clients and audience members, I tend to hug strangers after a meaningful conversation, and even in more professional situations, say after a meeting, which may or may not be kosher, but I can’t help it; I often randomly hug friends, family members and co-workers because I somehow sense they need one, and I will occasionally request one myself (especially from a super-good hugger, like my bro!)

Why? I actually never thought about it.  It’s just always been a natural extension of who I am, the work I do and my love of people in general.  If I had to intellectualize it, perhaps it’s about sealing an interaction in a “Yes, I see and hear you, you see and hear me, and we can show mutual love, respect and care for each other as human beings in the most tangible way.”

And let’s face it, who couldn’t use a hug now and then?  We should be able to give and receive hugs freely, but for those of you who need to justify your request, there’s a scientific explanation, because hey, who wouldn’t want to get a little shot of some naturally feel-good feelings?!  So forget about the economy and the internet, because the true currency of connection is the HUG, and the good news is that it’s available worldwide and abundant in infinite amounts.

Feeling a little stressed or simply need a boost to brighten your day?  Instead of reaching for that Twix bar or beer, have no fear, don’t you pout just say hello and hug it out!   

The time of year is once again upon us when leaders from all sectors and nations around the globe descend upon New York City. Along with street closings and traffic jams, they come together to make important speeches, hold panel discussions and attend fancy galas.

Between the UN General Assembly, the Clinton Global Initiative,two major women’s conferences and other events, all of these big wigs and accomplished folks will be setting out to solve the world’s problems with a whirlwind of high level networking and pow-wows throughout the week.  Boy, do they have their hands full!

This month Vanity Fair features its list of the 2011 New Establishment, as well as the old and some hall of famers to boot, many of who will surely be in town. Most of them are from technology and media, which shows you where all the power currently lies, not to mention the vast majority are men – but these are topics for another post….

So how did these people in government, corporations, NGOs, technology, media, and more become the leaders they are today?  My guess is that they took hold of their passion and calling in life and harnessed it in a way that took them wherever it needed to go.

Not all the journeys were the same; I’m sure some worked very hard for a long time with their eyes on the prize, others became leaders by accident due to some circumstance that thrust them into the spotlight, and many were  born at the right place at the right time and seized the opportunity to make their mark on the world; all had to have lots of help along the way. And regardless of how they arrived, at some point they had to own the fact that they did.

But keep in mind that they are no different from you and I. We are all made up of the same biological substance, and at the end of the day, as the saying goes, they put their pants on one leg at time, which means any one of us has the opportunity to be a leader in some way, shape or form – in fact, we can and must be the leaders in our own lives if we are to have any hope or effectiveness at leading others, either directly or by example.

Tomorrow happens to be the International Day of Peace and as I mentioned in last week’s post, “we are all responsible for peace in our piece of the pie.” So why not ask yourself:  Am I leading the life I want to live?  If you were in the running for a little gold statuette, would you be in the leading lady or man category in your own best drama or comedy, in a supporting role or an extra left on the cutting room floor?

Whether a paparazzi deprived/ambushed star or not, someone has to lead in the dance of your life, and the only person to do that is you. 

Feeling like you’re spinning in circles or vetoed at every turn these days? Give me a buzz and I’ll help you get out there with the focus and direction you need to express your true power and potential, putting you at the top of the leaderboard on your own world stage!

Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone. ~ Joni Mitchell (via Janet Jackson)

I recently read that we have “about 100 billion neurons in our brains which also happens to be the approximate number of stars in the Milky Way Galaxy,” further illuminating my belief that “macrocosm and microcosm are mirrors of each other.”    

We are all experiencing some facet of the same reality, some piece of a greater whole (which is why so many of you wonder how I could know what’s going on in your life every week…!). Until we start to truly comprehend that concept, there can be no real progress and we kiss that bright shiny future goodbye.

At some point in our lives we all have suffered or have been witness to the loss of loved ones, a job, our health, money, minds, homes, pets, friends, freedom, security, dignity, identity and the list goes on.  And it seems like we’ve been losing more than ever over the past ten years, doesn’t it?

When so many experience loss at the same time, it provides an opportunity to bond and elicits an empathy that might not normally be there.  The challenge is to keep this awareness on a daily basis so that we can honor each other and appreciate what we have when we have it, but at the same time be sure we don’t fall into a perpetual pity party or throw in the towel because if you work at it and are patient enough and have the right perspective, Things Can Only Get Better.

Another benefit of loss is that it moves us to seek purpose and meaning and to recognize what is important in life, which is pretty much the same for everyone. The more of us who embrace that fact, the more we will desire and take responsibility for creating peace and understanding in our own worlds.    

Looking for a little more Kumbaya these days?  Give me a buzz and I’ll help you see that your glass is indeed half-full, notice the silver lining all around you and channel my practical Pollyanna so you can have peace in your piece of the pie, and be sure you always make the best of what you’ve got, way before it’s gone.

P.S. For related thoughts on this topic, check out my posts Here Today, Gone Tomorrow and You Are Not Alone