The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one. ~ J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

Most people don’t grow up. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is aging. ~ Maya Angelou

Growing up is hard, love. Otherwise everyone would do it. ~ Kim Harrison, Pale Demon

With the International Day of Peace, People’s Climate March, UN General Assembly, Clinton Global Initiative and Global Citizen Festival culminating this week, the spotlight has been on our responsibility as nations and citizens to take care of each other and this planet we inhabit.

But all too often it seems the remaining 51 weeks of the year we forget that we have any say or power or control over our lives and environment as we are lulled back into our daily routines;  Mother Nature has her way with us, radical terrorists and out of control law enforcement use violence in extreme ways to threaten us physically and psychologically both here and abroad, our government legislates what we should eat, think, and do with our bodies, and corporations via advertising, lobbying and Hollywood tell us who we are, what we should buy, believe in and vote for, and what we should or should not be doing with our time, money and energy.

And in our private lives we tend to rely on others more than we should – whether your parents, spouses and partners, friends, doctors, teachers, boss, news outlets and conventional wisdom – and are more overwhelmed and distracted than ever with the consumption of digital media via accompanying gadgets/appendages,  that we forget we can have a unique opinion, make more conscious decisions that go against the grain, and above all think for ourselves rather than just absorb and digest literally and metaphorically what is being offered, served or shoved down our throats.

When we’re children we generally have no choice or don’t know better and have to accept the status quo of whatever adults around us say goes, but as you get older it’s time to check in and ask yourself: Who’s Your Daddy now? 

Relationships are the glue that hold the world together and give meaning to our lives; they include our relationship to ourselves, each other, our country, the Earth and the Universe/God/Higher Power/ Nature.  But when we allow a relationship to any one or any thing outside ourselves, be it a parent, child, friend, the government, social media or zeitgeist to be the ultimate authority over us, we are giving up our individual power to control our destiny and prevent ourselves from emotionally maturing. These are the types of unhealthy dependent relationships – rather than healthy interdependent ones – which are causing our planet to fall apart. 

Growing up means taking responsibility for every aspect of your life. Many of us prefer to remain in a half baked adulthood that never really evolves to its full potential because we are too busy or distracted to see who is really in control, and because it’s easier to pop a pill or let someone else take care of it. But it requires courage, elbow grease and internal effort every step of the way to be who we are truly meant to be.

We all have to do our part to take ownership of our environment, health, and happiness in mind, body and spirit. No one else can do this for us. By becoming stronger in who we are we can then use our full power and potential to help those who cannot yet help themselves, and create structures and systems from microcosm to macrocosm that will support a sustainable and peaceful life no matter who you are or where you are from.

Still feeling like a Toy’s R Us kid?  Give me a buzz and I’ll help you mature into a full-fledged self-mama or self-poppa (without losing that essential childlike sense of play!) so that we can create a global village of audacious authentic adults. 

Click here for a pretty color version of this PGG with more info

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
 

Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength. ~ Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. ~ Jean-Jacques Rousseau

I find it curious that the word patient has two distinct meanings, yet both encompass bearing some level of discomfort over a period of time (even if it’s just being in the waiting room of a doctor’s office!).

We all have individual and collective anniversaries, memories and milestones that we share to some degree or another; regardless if they were positive or negative, hopefully you are able to see the growth and healing that has since transpired. Tomorrow will mark [two years and] three months to the day  my mom underwent open-heart surgery, and after minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, day-by-day, week-by-week attention, care and rest, she was back out at her clubs  (yes plural, and yes, as in nightclubs/dancing) this past weekend.

It’s truly amazing what time can do when you give it a chance to work its magic. But in this action-oriented -left -brained- results- demanding- pill -for-everything-instant-information-fast-food society we now find ourselves, time gets a bad rap.  Faster is perceived to always be better and action trumps rest in the eyes of others.  With almost everything available to us on demand and bottles of 5 hour energy at our disposal, we’ve grown impatient beyond reasonable expectations.

“Patience is a virtue” and “Time heals all wounds” are two of my favorite adages, because they express the type of ‘muscles’ I’ve exercised and ‘tools’ I’ve developed – you guessed it – over time – as they become realities when you see the proof in the pudding. In my coaching and speaking work, I am constantly trying to get folks to understand that despite the fact that we are living in a 24/7 instant access technological wonderland, that in fact Nature does not work that way – the acorn does not become an oak tree overnight! 

Clients are often frustrated with me when I advise them not to do anything that they consider as ‘doing’ or will have a direct and immediate impact on their job search or life’s path. What I suggest doesn’t mean they should sit around twiddling their thumbs, it’s about understanding that there is a process; it’s inner work through activities that don’t seem ‘productive’ or results-producing, when in fact they are the true heavy lifting of personal growth.  We all have wounds that need to be healed, and not addressing them or allowing them the time and space to do so is often what blocks us from moving forward; therefore, that is where time and energy needs to be spent!

I am always planting seeds when I work with clients, giving them ideas and suggestions they may not necessarily be ready to implement immediately, but something they should think about, pay attention to and consider down the road. I also guide them towards the many stepping stones they need to take on the path to their ultimate goal, whether or not they are aware of that goal.

The philosopher Kierkegaard said, “Patience is necessary, and one cannot reap immediately where one has sown.”   I have had the pleasure to find out recently how many of my clients are beginning to reap what they have sown, with projects, jobs and opportunities that are only now coming to fruition, one, two and even four years after we met, which is extremely rewarding and only reinforces the ‘method to my madness’.

The paradox and balancing trick of course is that time doesn’t stop; it can pass us by quickly so we need to be in motion with it and ‘make hay while the sun shines.’  But on the other hand we need to accept and be comfortable with what is realistic in terms of how long things take to change and develop. Just like we are all students in this school called Life, we are all patients in the healing of our lives which is part of what growing means – healing the wounds of our past so we can move forward ever more healthy and strong.

Need a little help on your journey from acorn to oak tree, or from wounded to well?  Give me a buzz and I’ll take a look to see how you can use the gift of time to speed things up or slow them down, keeping in mind, that might just be the opposite of what you think…

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on September 11, 2012)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
 

Ever since the majority of humanity decided to not walk around in our birthday suits, if we’re lucky, we can have varying degrees of expression in how we cover our naked bodies.  

Right now we’re in the midst of New York Fashion Week.  To many people it is a seemingly frivolous and fun affair, but the reality is that as long as there are options in what is acceptable for us to wear, there exists freedom in other areas – think Mao suits and corsets, burqas and beards.

It’s been twenty years since George Michael’s classic video, when we knew the models names, they had meat on their bones, and the artist was nowhere in sight, wanting to liberate himself from the bubble gum image of his Wham! days. Today designers are more the rock stars, and perhaps appropriately so.

Devil Wears Prada masterminding and Fashion Police citations aside, the fashion industry produces its own version of freedom fighters, providing us with the garments we need to protect and express who we are. That, in turn, fuels an environment to pursue work we are passionate about, breeds a culture that is inclusive, gives us permission to love whoever we want, and most of all, enables us to enjoy the freedom to be ourselves.

Pop stars and celebrities can take this to the extreme; it requires a more courageous soul to carry off a CeeLo or Nikki Minaj ensemble, but the more they push the boundaries of self-expression, the more they give us all permission to do the same.

Not sure if your style is more Bieber or Beyonce, Rock n’ Roll or Rihanna?  Give me a buzz and we’ll uncover and unleash an inner you reflected in an outer style that makes the most of who you are, inside and out.

(A version of today’s PGG was originally posted on February 15, 2011)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
 

Earlier this summer after having dinner a friend’s house, I looked at her husband and told him he was pregnant.  Not in the transgendered real-life man-mother way or the fictitious Arnold Schwartzenegger way, or even that joking ate-too-much way, but in that ‘there is something in you that is just waiting to be born,’ itching-to-see-the light-of-day-way.  In fact, in some Latin languages ‘to give birth’ is literally translated as ‘to give light.’

Besides being a bookend for the season, Labor Day is the beginning of harvest time, of reaping what you have sown earlier in the year. Whatever it is you are trying to manifest, you need to be sure it is a labor of love, then dedicate yourself to the work necessary for it to come to fruition. And if you haven’t already started, don’t be sitting around waiting for an immaculate conception.

These things only happen with commitment, focus, time, energy, and a bit of elbow grease. After the appropriate gestation period, persistence and deep breaths take you into the home stretch. No pain, no gain, as they say, and everywhere in Nature we see that the moment of birth requires that extra push to get on through to the other side.

As for my friend, he needed to start doing more creative writing which perhaps might yield a novel.  At the very least it would activate a part of him that was simply not being used in his day job or role as a husband and dad. 

A favorite quote of mine comes from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran:         “…. [T]o love life through labor is to be intimate with life’s most inmost secret….WORK IS LOVE MADE VISIBLE.“

What kind of ‘work’ you trying to give birth to? A special project, healthy lifestyle, your own business, solid relationships, bustling career, creative endeavors, expanding your family, or simply a new and improved version of yourself? No matter what you desire to bring into being, (yes, even an actual baby), give me a buzz so I can be a metaphorical midwife that helps welcome your bundle of joy into the world as easily and effortlessly as possible!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on September 7, 2010)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
 

The past few weeks have been ugly.

Tragic and senseless death and destruction both here and abroad feel like yet another punch in the stomach. We’ve been trying to find some solid ground to get our breathing back to normal after the wind has been knocked out of us repeatedly, as we react with shock and dismay to countless horror stories and history repeating itself streaming at us from every which way.

If, like me, you are a sensitive person, you found that your equilibrium has been a little off, that there has been a disturbance in the Force, a cosmic warp in the Universe that came with a collective sigh, utter frustration and profound sadness on many levels, for a variety of reasons.

That’s the bad news.

The last few weeks have also brought us some of the most gorgeous summer weather the East Coast has had in years, and we’ve seen a multitude of people pouring buckets of ice water over their heads for a good cause – mostly to make us laugh – simultaneously counteracting all the less than humorous happenings.  And in my own sphere, I have been fortunate to visit some picture perfect places, re-connect with old friends, made progress on several longtime goals and have celebrated tremendous transformation in my clients, which makes me love what I do even more and gives me a deep sense of satisfaction and joy like no other.

That’s the sort-of-good news.  Because these days it seems that ugly is the status quo. We are bombarded with so many negative events, factual and fictional – both served up as entertainment- that we have simply become used to it. In these days of doom and gloom I encourage you all to imagine the opposite: What if Beauty became the norm?

And when I talk about Beauty, I don’t mean a two-dimensional feast for the eyes, or pleasure for pleasure’s sake, although that is part of it.  True beauty is three dimensional, it is something to be FELT and EXPERIENCED, not just superficially appreciated.  Beauty happens inside AND out.  It is never just cosmetic. It is something to be absorbed by every fiber of your being, whether admiring a work of art, listening to music, observing Nature in its magnificent glory, witnessing an act of courage or compassion or enjoying a person’s human expression at its best.

SO, where do we begin, how do we do this? It’s tempting to just tune out and distract ourselves with whatever we can, and hope that the problems of the world instantly vanish or some drug company creates a pill for peace.  But the truth is that the more disconnected and desensitized we become, the more problems we will have.  Most people are walking around emotionally constipated. We need to keep our senses alive, in tact, ebbing and flowing in a balanced way, yet not letting them run the show or allowing any external images or situations grab control of us. We need to be able to respond from the deepest human level so we can know how to react; when to take action, when to pick up the phone, when to tweet or post something, when to set boundaries or ask for help, and when to turn the TV or computer off.

Brene Brown, in her now famous Ted Talk on vulnerablity, tells us that when we numb the bad, we numb the good too.  So you can’t just shut yourself off if you want to feel love, compassion, empathy, kindness, and yes even feel beauty.  Feeling means we are alive.  If not, then what are we?

Duality is a fact of life: in order to appreciate the sunshine, you need the rain. Once you are able to connect with and feel ALL of what is going on within you, with a little regular detox of  laughter and tears, you can deal with the not so pleasant emotions as they come up and let go of them more easily, and conversely take hold of and relish in the positive, ecstatic and joyous ones even longer, expanding and benefiting from that energy more profoundly.

Look for Beauty everywhere and let in the Beauty to overpower the beast. Allow the darkness, anger, pain and shame to move through you so that you can then use that same vehicle to embody and express supreme joy and love when it abounds. We can then more accurately observe and call out injustice because you know in your heart what truth, justice, goodness and beauty looks and feels like.

Not quite sure how to go from Blah to Bliss? Give me a buzz, and I’ll show you how living life as a fully-fledged member of the human race has its rewards, and being able to FEEL TRUTH, FREEDOM, BEAUTY & LOVE are by far the best.

Click here for a pretty version of this PGG with a cool image

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List

Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone.   ~ Joni Mitchell (via Janet Jackson)

I recently read that we have “about 100 billion neurons in our brains which also happens to be the approximate number of stars in the Milky Way Galaxy,” further illuminating my belief that“macrocosm and microcosm are mirrors of each other.” 

We are all experiencing some facet of the same reality, some piece of a greater whole (which is why so many of you wonder how I could know what’s going on in your life every week…!). Until we start to truly comprehend that concept, there can be no real progress and we kiss that bright shiny future goodbye.

At some point in our lives we all have suffered or have been witness to the loss of loved ones, a job, our health, money, minds, homes, pets, friends, freedom, security, dignity, identity and the list goes on.  And it seems like we’ve been losing more than ever over the past ten years, doesn’t it?

When so many experience loss at the same time, it provides an opportunity to bond and elicits an empathy that might not normally be there. The challenge is to keep this awareness on a daily basis so that we can honor each other and appreciate what we have when we have it, but at the same time be sure we don’t fall into a perpetual pity party or throw in the towel because if you work at it and are patient enough and have the right perspective, Things Can Only Get Better

Another benefit of loss is that it moves us to seek purpose and meaning and to recognize what is important in life, which is pretty much the same for everyone. The more of us who embrace that fact, the more we will desire and take responsibility for creating peace and understanding in our own worlds.    

Looking for a little more Kumbaya these days?  Give me a buzz and I’ll help you see that your glass is indeed half-full and there are silver linings all around you, channeling my practical Pollyanna to facilitate peace in your piece of the pie so that you always make the best of what you’ve got, way before it’s gone.

(Today’s PGG was originally posted September 13, 2011)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List

This past weekend I attended a double-feature of documentaries at the Explorer’s Club, and was particularly moved by the film Man on a Mission, which follows the lifelong journey of multi-millionaire video game celebrity/genius Richard Garriott and his dream to become the first second-generation American astronaut.

Now, I’m not a ‘space cadet’ (as I learned such enthusiasts are called) but I did become enraptured by this extraordinary man’s quest, despite several obstacles, millions of dollars, and intense physical and mental training, to manifest his desire to follow in his father’s footsteps. Like any other person with their eye on the prize, he just did whatever he needed to make things happen, and it’s a truly inspiring real-life, albeit super-sized, tale.

But besides making ground-breaking history and removing barriers to space travel, Garriott described his experience as transformational – as many who return from orbit do – because of what is called the ‘overview effect‘ – seeing the Earth from outer space and the internal shift and revelations that transpire as a result.

Yet you don’t have to endure zero gravity or eat freeze-dried goop to get a similar perspective if you just take a step back from time to time and simply imagine what your life would look like if observed from the International Space Station, and how it fits into the rest of the Big Blue Marble we inhabit.

If you can’t quite get there on your own, then give me a buzz so I can reflect a little moonlight on you and have our session be the launch pad to a life that any Earthling or extraterrestrial would envy!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on July 15, 2010)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and  contact me today.

Join Mailing List
 

There is a tree outside my window that marks the passage of time with its cycle of leaves that float to the ground in Autumn, whose branches remain bare throughout the Winter until one day I wake up to find they have sprouted little buds that eventually turn into the lush greenery of Summer, only to then slowly turn yellow, fall off and go dormant again until the Spring. No matter how extreme the weather is – and we’ve had some doozies lately – my little tree never ceases to amaze me with its remarkable and reliable transformation year in and year out.

Most of us who are either born or become city slickers find ourselves existing in a concrete jungle filled with technological wonder and have to make a conscious effort to get our green on. But spending time in Nature is not just about breathing fresh air and taking a hike in the forest or swim at the beach – it’s about realigning ourselves with how the world really works, not how us humans have manipulated or want it to be.

It’s easy to forget that we are made up of the same elements as the trees, birds, oceans and stars and have within us an innate nature, that if we tune into it, will always serve us exactly as it should – but this means we must tune out the loud voices and headlines screaming for our attention telling us how we should feel, what we should do when, who we should be afraid of, or what we should buy; we need to block out the many warped perceptions of how long things should take and in what way they should transpire.

Spending quality time with yourself each day strengthens your ‘you muscle’ so you can get to know, love and accept who you are and operate accordingly. Music is a powerful tool to counteract the ‘noise’ of the day and get you into your own space, so make sure you are feeding your soul with a good dose of melodies, harmonies and/or lyrics that uplift, soothe or energize depending on what you need at that moment to create peace in your little world.

What if you don’t quite fit in the status quo? For example, being an introvert and a night owl living in a society that favors and rewards extroverts and early birds might require more effort to assert and maintain, but the more you go with your own flow and march to the beat of your own drum, the less stressed and more rewarding life will be.

You can then experience the joy of synchronicity, because it is when you are so connected to yourself and with the Universe that ‘magic’ happens: you see a scene or hear a line in a movie or come across a book that speaks directly to you, find out about an event or run into a person that helps get you your dream job, or perhaps receive an unexpected check in precisely the amount you needed just in the nick of time. It all comes down to having trust and faith in yourself and your path; and trusting in the very process of life itself is the best way to honor being alive.

Those of you who know me know that one of my favorite sayings is that everything happens ‘in time and on time’. In Eastern philosophy this goes hand in hand with the concept of Wu Wei, loosely translated as “non-action” or “effortless doing”. I am also here to remind you to have patience, because life doesn’t happen overnight or like an instant message; there is ebb and flow, a shedding and a blossoming and an unfoldment that is under the control of something far wiser than our little pea brains.

Feeling a bit tone deaf trying to find your own rhythm in a world of distraction and dissonance? Give me a buzz and I can be like a piano teacher with a fancy metronome who gets you back in the groove to make beautiful music in every area of your life!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on April 30, 2013)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
 

In 2009, Southern Australia experienced some of the worst bushfires in over 20 years.  But the climate and landscape make them a regular occurrence, and many flora and fauna have adapted over time to use these periodic blazes to fertilize its soil, spread their seed and regenerate more quickly. New species that can thrive in such conditions have been introduced and folks in many places have even used controlled forest fires to remove underbrush and clear land for other constructive uses.

So with all the heartache and devastation that accompanies such incidents, it’s important to remember that there is a positive and negative aspect to everything – even disasters can ultimately be productive and have a silver lining.  One thing is for sure: You cannot ignore a fire.  

Sometimes we get to the place where destruction is required for something to be addressed/corrected/acknowledged and/or given the opportunity for that which is new and improved to exist.  The riots in London, the stock market and debt ceiling madness, the crises in Syria and Somalia, extreme weather [current version: U.S. Border, Ukraine, Middle East, Iraq, police brutality, Detroit to name a few….] and other ‘fires’ both here and around the world are ablaze, calling us to pay attention to them in one way or another. It’s up to us to know what needs to hosed down, and what needs to simply burn baby burn.

In many ancient cultures, it is said the immortal mythical phoenix dies many deaths by bursting into flames only to return once again, rising from its own ashes for all eternity.  As you look upon the landscape of your own life, what needs to be consumed and let go of in its current form in order to be reborn anew more magnificently?

Can’t quite see through the smoke or feel the heat? Give me a buzz and I’ll show you which fires need to be put out, which need to be stoked and where one might need to be consciously lit under your butt so that something better can sprout up in its place and you can move forward in any area of your life.  I’ll either be a spark to Light Your Fire or help you with Burning Down the House…  

(Today’s PGG was originally posted August 18, 2011)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List
 

Actors, when interviewed about their craft, often talk about finding out what the “truth” of the situation is for their part; Shakespeare tells us, “All the world’s a stage, all the men and women merely players.“

We are all characters in our own play or movie acting out daily scenes, but it’s easy to forget that we’re also the producers, writers and directors, especially when it comes to our relationships.  We can, to a certain extent, cast who is in our life, assign them certain roles and create all the drama, comedy and romance that we want.  We can even re-write the script when we have the courage to do so.

The best way to do this is to be honest with yourself so that you can communicate from the heart exactly what it is that you want and need. Since most people don’t walk around with ESP, it’s really up to you to say what you mean and mean what you say (in an appropriate way, of course!) and let the chips fall where they may, knowing that you honored what is real and true for you.

If it’s not a common practice, speaking your truth can feel uncomfortable and even messy, and can make you or the other person feel like a deer in headlights- but at least you’ll get to the bottom of things and set the stage to make the next scene better.

You can run but you can’t hide from the truth, and telling it to yourself is the first step.  If you’re too scared or unable to see it, give me a buzz – I can be the spotlight that illuminates what’s really going on and help you create the starring role with a happy ending you so deserve!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted May 18, 2010)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Join Mailing List