Where the myth fails, human love begins. Then we love a human being, not our dream, a human being with flaws.  ~ Anais Nin

Relationships are the area of life we are most often challenged in, even if we excel at everything else. Because when it comes to finding and keeping mate, it’s a jungle out there. Having realistic expectations of what we want and how to go about getting it is the key to navigating that often hostile and confusing environment.

The jungle image conjures up wild, primitive peoples, virgin (no pun intended) territories, poisonous plants and camouflaged predators. But the reality is that it can also contain a myriad of medicinal cures and infinite beauty and diversity – a place of healing, discovery and wonder.

Just like the mighty forest of the Amazon, we each contain secrets and gems within us….it might first take wielding a machete to clear away the brush before getting to a place where you can see the light of day, and your partner in that light.  It takes work – honest communication and emotional elbow grease – to get to that place where you are totally naked, totally nude to just be, without the distractions, bells and whistles or ability to hide in the denseness of all that surrounds you.  That is the place where relationships must exist; all the rest is just gravy.

If and when you get to that stripped down place and can’t embrace yourself it will be much harder for your partner to. But if you have already uncovered and unearthed all your hidden and not so nice parts, and love and accept them unconditionally while trying to improve, then you can enter into a relationship truly whole and ready to give to another in the same way.

So whether you are traveling solo, have a ‘plus one’ right now, or not quite sure what your status is on this expedition called life, give me a buzz and I will help lead you out of the heart of darkness and into the bright city lights!

(The original version of this post was published on October 19, 2010)

For a pretty version click here and  please take a moment today to help grow the new Facebook Page:

I always like to remind folks who attend my talks that we are living in extraordinary times. Now more than ever we need to listen to our hearts and march to the beat of our own drum. Yet we are not solo performers on this stage – but more like a duo, with Universe as our partner, in what I like to think of life as the dance of life. There is ebb and flow, push and pull, reap and sow.

In our technologically advanced, left-brain evolved world, we think we can do more and know all the answers in making things happen for ourselves. But the truth is that we are only half the equation – the Universe, with its great unknown, unseen power, process and nature – is the other half.

There is a sublime order to things in our world if we only allow ourselves to honor it, regardless of how long our journey takes or what form or shape the fruit of it bears; the Universe always knows better than our little pea brains. There is a method to its seeming madness and oft lengthy timeline, but the more we resist its infinite wisdom, the more we suffer, the more mess is made, the more there is to clean up and the longer it can take to get back on track.

Instead, we must learn to go with the flow – not in a loosey-goosey kind of way – but with faith and confidence, like when a farmer plants his seeds, in knowing that the sun will rise tomorrow and that what comes up must come down.

Any artist, dancer, musician or athlete understands that practice and technique will only get you so far – at some point you have to let go and allow the Universe do its thing. In other words, no matter what you are working towards – getting a new job, growing a business, reaching health goals or improving relationships – you need to simply “Do your best and surrender the rest.”

If you haven’t seen the external results you desire, take a moment to slow down and reflect – if you’ve paid attention you’ll notice you’ve been undergoing some major inner reconstructing, re-arranging of molecules and experiencing a deep emotional and mental detox encouraging you to let go of the past in order to move forward into the future; this too is part of the dance. Sound familiar? If not, and you’ve been feeling blocked at every turn, ignoring the call to do this type internal work is probably to blame, and is easy to correct.

The beauty of dancing with the big U. is that that once you get in sync with it, things actually get in sync with you, and stuff starts to happen, as I always say, “in time and on time”, and often more miraculously than you could have ever imagined.

Not sure of what steps to take next or feeling like you wanna rock right now? It Takes Two to make a thing go right, so give me a buzz and I will help you make it outta sight!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

With the current release of films like Lincoln and Django Unchained, and BET’s bringing the acclaimed ’70’s TV series Roots out of the vault, there’s been a spotlight on and discussion about this essential part of our nation’s history both on screen and off.

Whether or not you are a direct descendant of someone who lived or worked on a plantation in the 19th century, all of us in the 21st century, no matter who or where we came from, can check in to see which areas of our lives need to be emancipated from the tyranny of whatever is keeping us down, holding us back and making us feel ‘less-than’ in both subtle and overt ways.

Oprah expressed it perfectly when she called slavery “A machine to create inferiority.”  You can only imagine what amazing strength, utter self-belief and profound self-worth was required to break out of that mentality, to really know who you are and be able to simply exist, let alone thrive, despite others perceiving you, and often treating you in, well, let’s just say a most unfavorable way. What it would take to preserve and protect your self, your spirit and your soul under such circumstances is beyond comprehension.

We certainly continue to struggle with the legacy and repercussions of slavery in terms of race on a daily basis in a variety of ways, while at the same time have come very far. But regardless of the color of our skin, there are more inconspicuous ways that we are judged by others, much of which has to do with what we think of ourselves when we look in the mirror, are alone with our thoughts and by the choices we make in every area of our lives.

The foundation of who we are reaches far and wide throughout our work, relationships, health and everyday life so the stronger and deeper your tree grows, the more you can weather even a storm like Sandy. Yes, you might lose a few branches along the way, but you won’t be knocked out for good! So take some time this month to connect to the root of who you are, using this last part of winter to develop, heal and love yourself so you can blossom more fully come Spring.

You might have some family roots to dig up or some grass roots to build up in the process, but the bottom line is that if you look at any problem, challenge or change you want to make and trace it back to it’s ultimate root, if you’re honest with yourself, will find that the buck stops with you. Remember, this is always good news – because that means you can do something about it.

Having a little trouble connecting all the genealogical dots of your career and/or life? Give me a buzz and I will get to the root the matter, so just like Alex and Kunta in Africa, we can find you!

*Today’s PGG was originally posted on February 6, 2013

 PGG is now on Facebook!  Easily access, like, comment on and share your weekly dose of motivational and thought-provoking posts along with additional inspirational and fun tidbits.

Please take a moment today to:

With the advent of Halloween we are bombarded with spooky images and haunted houses to remind us it’s that time of year to face our deepest fears. But the majority of things that frighten us aren’t outside ourselves. Like the creepiness that comes from being in a House of Mirrors, what usually freaks people out most is seeing themselves multiplied a hundred times!

When in your own personal house of horrors, no matter how many cobwebs and shadows you find, know that we all have darker aspects of our personality, and we’re never confronted with anything we can’t handle – so we should never be afraid. Whether your fears and ugly parts are real or imagined, the key is not to run away from them. The only thing to do is to shed light on the source of our anxieties and perceived inadequacies, get to their roots and make adjustments that will bring us closer to the most fulfilled and peaceful versions of ourselves we can be.

And like the end of a scary movie, it comes down to you and only you to fight for your life.  There is no magic formula or genie in a bottle to come along, no Calgon or knight in shining armor to take you away. Taking responsibility for your life centers you in who you are and what you want – fantasy and illusion, or simply ignoring things, move you farther away. It’s up to each of us to create our own happiness and what we want in our lives, and ask for help when we need it

So if you need to do a little exorcising of your inner ghouls and goblins, who ya gonna call?  Like Ghostbusters or those meddling kids in Scooby-Doo, I will expose and expel the real cause of your heebie-jeebies and things that go bump in the night so you can move forward and make the changes you need to be all of you are in the bright light of day!

For related thoughts on this topic, check out my posts: American Horror Story and Fear Factor

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on October 26, 2010)

I recently attended a workshop with Erica Jong, who implored us to write the story we absolutely had to tell or we would die. She also taught us to write something that unlocks who we are, encouraged us to be ourselves, to discover and write in our own voice.  But how do you know what your voice is if you never use it?

You don’t need to be an aspiring blogger, poet, or novelist to heed these wise words.  I always recommend that folks write as much as they can in order to get in touch with their inner selves – a journal is a place where you can be the most free in expressing you are and what you need to say.  When connected to that internal, emotional voice honestly and often enough you will begin to reveal who you are and what is important to you, whether in career, relationships or life in general. We write what we need to read.

It’s a place to clarify your feelings, share your ideas and experiences, release the past and make plans for the future, all without judgment. Your journal is your best friend. At the very least it is a to-do list, for items big and small. The act of writing something down makes it real and tangible and helps crystallize the hurricane of thoughts and emotions we often have swirling around inside of us.

After the process of putting it all on the page, it can make us more effective in communicating what it is we need or want from others or from ourselves, and actually make sense doing so! I also suggest using a pen and paper whenever possible- it’s more organic and raw when you take out the technological middle man. 

If you access your authentic voice in writing then, as Erica said, “being an author makes you an authority.”

You don’t have to be the next Maya Angelou, JD Salinger or Danielle Steele to be the author of your own life and truth. Have a little writer’s block or need a ghostwriter to help give you context or an outline of how to even begin? Give me a buzz and I’ll have you on your own personal best-seller list before you can say Pulitzer Prize!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on August 31, 2010)

 PGG is now on Facebook!  Easily access, like, comment on and share your weekly dose of motivational and thought-provoking posts along with additional inspirational and fun tidbits.

Please take a moment today to:

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Whether it makes you think of Catholic school nuns, dog training or your struggle with diet and exercise – we are certainly witnessing some of the most disciplined minds and bodies as we watch the Winter Olympics*. Any form of excellence requires it, and these amazing athletes show what can happen when you are singularly focused on and dedicated to a particular goal.

For most of my life, I admit I had always associated the word with limitation: something negative, bad or oppressive.  Over the past several years I began to learn that instead, it is a positive attitude and approach that can actually be quite liberating. When used in the right way, discipline is an extreme act of self-love.

For example, realizing that I needed to stop working 24/7, and make time for activities that are fun, pleasurable and social is something I am now very conscious about.  I even include going to the gym in that category! It has become a discipline of mine that has made my life a lot less stressed and more enjoyable. As they say, ‘one man’s pleasure is another man’s pain’ – and I say what you may consider a pain for yourself, can often turn into a pleasure once you discipline yourself in that area and reap the benefits!

Discipline means that you care so deeply about yourself that you want to improve or create balance wherever you need it.  No matter what goals you are working towards, you are doing something about it every day to make yourself the best you can be.

But sometimes we can’t do it alone.  Like those Olympic athletes, who are able to stay on that razor-edge track with the help of their coaches, think of me as one of them, guiding and supporting you to a personal Gold Medal in whatever area of life you choose!

*(Today’s PGG was originally posted in February 2010)

While walking down the street after a bizarre week of odd ‘coincidences’ and uncanny timings, I happened to look up and notice the announcement board of a synagogue with this quote by feminist/activist/author Robin Morgan, “Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible.”

One definition of the word absurd is “inconsistent with reason or logic or common sense,” which means that any decisions or actions deemed as such perhaps come from a place that we can’t always understand, but know is from somewhere deep within us.

The presidents whose holiday we celebrated yesterday* had a bit of that going on…George Washington’s advisors seriously questioned his determination to cross the frozen Delaware, and he intuitively knew how to present himself as a leader for this new country; Abraham Lincoln’s life is filled with examples of how he went against conventional wisdom and popular opinion.  Both men defied the odds by listening to their own conscience, inner voice and moral compass, and because of that became the great men we honor today.

Part of maturing is learning how to trust your own gut despite any outside influences.  While it can be  helpful to get advice, when we are honest with ourselves, we are usually our own best counsel. Others might not know who we really are or may not have our best interests at heart. And I’m sure we can all remember times when we’ve dealt with the consequences of not heeding the wisdom of our gut.

My guess is that Adam Sandler trusts his intuition as to what is funny or not regardless of what the Hollywood suits might say, and from his start back in the SNL days, he expressed a unique kind of silly humor that had yet to be considered commercially viable.  Well, we all know how that turned out!

When I meet with clients, often I am simply validating and confirming what they already know themselves but were too embarrassed, in denial, doubtful or repressed about to pursue or even admit.  If when a complete stranger in less than two hours, without you specifically divulging it, tells you that the ‘crazy’ idea you have, that thing you always wanted to do, the life that you always dreamed of, is exactly the direction you should be going in based on the dots I’ve connected, just go with it – it’s the green light you’ve been waiting for to produce that smash box office hit starring none other than YOU!

*Today’s PGG was originally posted on February 22, 2011

PGG is now on Facebook!  Easily access, like, comment on and share your weekly dose of motivational and thought-provoking posts along with additional inspirational and fun tidbits.  CLICK HERE TO LIKE

PGG is now on Facebook!  Easily access, like, comment on and share your weekly dose of motivational and thought-provoking posts along with additional inspirational and fun tidbits.  CLICK HERE TO LIKE

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

There is a Yiddish saying a good friend used to quote to me often: Mentsch tracht, Gott lacht. Man plans, God laughs.

The renowned Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh more eloquently elaborates on this as: “People sacrifice the present for the future. But life is possible only in the present.”

Especially in this era of instant everything and a world of answers literally at our fingertips, one of the hardest things for us to do is live in that space where we don’t know what will happen next. With the unemployment rate at record highs, more and more people are learning the hard way how to experience life in this manner.

People in career transition, artists and freelancers have to operate without knowing where their next paycheck will be coming from.  People in new relationships are at often at sea in uncharted emotional waters.  Whenever we put ourselves in unfamiliar social territory or a take a trip to a place we’ve never been before we journey into the unknown – which is why it’s so important to travel, as it is one of the most natural ways to be in the present.

An easy way to add anxiety and stress in your life is to allow yourself to be overwhelmed with all the things you think you need to accomplish in the near or not so near future. The reality is that we can’t possibly know what tomorrow will bring so we might as well trust that the right decision or action today will lead you to where you need to go, even if you don’t know where you are ultimately going.

So when life is a big question mark, a blank slate, or if you find yourself in terra incognita, I can help you fill in the blanks and navigate your way through, or simply show you how to be where you are.  Give me a buzz and I will be the lighthouse in the fog, the compass in your pocket, to help guide you to your most authentic destination, in time and on time!

For related thoughts on this topic check out my post The Present of Presence. Learn more about working with me by clicking here – special offer extended until midnight tonite!

 (Today’s PGG was originally posted on September 14, 2010)

September is always an exciting time of year for me as world leaders convene on the island of Manhattan for the United Nations General Assembly and the Clinton Global Initiative.

Many of you know my degree is in International Relations. Early on I was a passionate student of languages and cultures, got bit by the travel bug at age 12 after a trip to Spain, Portugal and Morocco with my grandmother; by senior year in high school I was studying Spanish, French and Italian (foregoing chemistry and physics..), Mandarin Chinese freshman year in college, organized international student orientations, studied abroad my third year…you get the picture.

My dream was to one day work for the UN, as my intention and mission in life was to contribute to world peace (I simply didn’t understand why people and countries couldn’t get along just because of race, religion or anything else), so that was a seemingly logical goal. Who grows up wanting to be a career/life coach?  Like so many professions today, that didn’t even exist when I was a kid!  Ah, but the Universe has a funny way of working things out.

Once I discovered that being employed by the UN did not ultimately fit my skill set or desired environment, I set out to create my own international experiences – teaching middle and high school Spanish, working and traveling with an upscale educational tour operator, teaching Tourism Destinations & Cultures for NYU, and founding my own mini-version of the UN called The Women’s Mosaic, bringing together women from different cultures and backgrounds to learn from and be inspired by one another.

As a result of that creation, I got hooked into the UN, met several times and received praise from Kofi Annan, have attended many of their conferences (I still get verklempt when I am in the auditorium wearing an earpiece…), and before any of this, without consciously trying, ended up living in the very neighborhood where the UN’s headquarters is situated  – so for my entire adult life I have been surrounded by diplomats and their missions, sharing my coffee shop, gym and grocery store with them 24/7.

Fast forward to more recently, as my interest and passion for personal growth, empowerment and healing along with my ability to relate to just about anyone, combined with x-ray vision, supersonic hearing, and broad knowledge base of industries, careers and other resources have combined to make me into this very interesting and profoundly effective person I will call a career/life coach for lack of a better title….and I have been helping people professionally in this capacity for over six years.

Last week I had a big ah-ha moment after a Skype session with a new client in Hungary who had attended one of my talks while here on holiday. Although that was only my second international call, I realized just how diverse and, yes, global my clientele is! I have worked with well over a hundred people from all backgrounds – whether foreign nationals here visiting or working temporarily, or folks that were not born here but came as children or adults to live. They hail from Macedonia, Italy, Puerto Rico, Mexico, New Zealand, Dominican Republic, China, Taiwan, Nigeria, Canada, Australia, El Salvador, Russia, Japan, Philippines, and Israel as well as embody the many diverse ethnicities and religions found here; African-American, Haitian, Indian, Persian, Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Quaker, and so much more; many of my clients have accents, as English is their second or third language! So DUH, here I am using my degree in ‘International Relations’ yet once again,  simply in another form.  Pretty cool, huh?

I share all of this not just to illustrate how the thread of my interests and passions have run through everything I do, but also for this: My work with individuals only confirms my theories, thoughts and ideals about countries and humanity as a whole.  The more I learn and observe intimately the intricacies of all these seemingly different folks’ journeys and backgrounds, the more I see the hard evidence of how we are all wired as humans with the same desires, dreams, hopes and challenges – no matter what corner of the globe you are from we have far more in common than you can imagine.

Think you’re so special? You are. You have a uniqueness that you bring to this planet. But you are also made of the same stuff as that guy or gal is sitting next to you on the subway, or across the ocean.  And because of things like technology and climate change, we are more interconnected than ever.  So this week take a moment to expand your horizons – who can you learn about, chat with or help in some way that is out of your normal sphere of influence? How can you Imagine your world for the better? What can you do to think globally but act locally?

Not sure what is the micro in your life that will affect the macro? Give me a buzz and we’ll translate the language of your soul to see how it will weave into the tapestry of history and become that much needed piece of the peace puzzle we are all a part of, no matter who you are or where you come from.

 FINAL WEEK: Be sure to take advantage of my special Back to School September discount offer!

Just two weeks left to take advantage of discounts on my coaching services!

“A session with Kristina is always an investment in myself. “~ Survey comment

CLICK HERE FOR ALL THE DETAILS