Earlier this summer after having dinner a friend’s house, I looked at her husband and told him he was pregnant.   Not in the transgendered real-life man-mother way or the fictitious Arnold Schwartzenegger way, or even that joking ate too much way,  but in that ‘there is something in you that is just waiting to be born,’ itching to see the light of day way.  In fact, in many Latin languages ‘to give birth’ is literally translated as ‘to give light.’

Besides being a bookend for the season, Labor Day is the beginning of harvest time, of reaping what you have sown earlier in the year. Whatever it is you are trying to manifest, you need to be sure it is a labor of love and dedicate yourself to the work necessary for it to come to fruition. And if you haven’t already started, don’t be sitting around waiting for an immaculate conception.

These things only happen with commitment, focus, time, energy and a bit of elbow grease. After the appropriate gestation period, persistence and deep breaths take you into the home stretch. No pain, no gain, as they say, and everywhere in Nature we see that the moment of birth requires that extra push to get on through to the other side.

As for my friend, he needed to start doing more creative writing which perhaps might yield a novel.  At the very least it would activate a part of himself that was simply not being used in his day job or role as a husband and dad.

What are you trying to give birth to? A special project, healthy lifestyle, your own business, solid relationships, bustling career, creative endeavors, expanding your family, or simply a new and improved version of yourself? No matter what you desire to bring into being, (yes, even an actual baby), give me a buzz so I can be a metaphorical midwife that helps welcome your bundle of joy into the world as easily and effortlessly as possible!

P.S. A favorite quote of mine comes from Khalil Gibran’s The Prophet: “….to love life through labor is to be intimate with life’s most inmost secret: WORK IS LOVE MADE VISIBLE” Not sure what your ‘work’ is?  Give me a buzz and we’ll figure it out without a doubt.

I recently attended a workshop with Erica Jong, who implored us to write the story we absolutely had to tell or we would die. She also taught us to write something that unlocks who we are, encouraged us to be ourselves, to discover and write in our own voice.  But how do you know what your voice is if you never use it? (Sorry, but tweets and texts barely count, if at all!)

You don’t need to be an aspiring blogger, poet, or novelist to heed these wise words.  I always recommend that folks write as much as they can in order to get in touch with their inner selves – a journal is a place where you can be the most free in expressing you are and what you need to say.  When connected to that internal, emotional voice honestly and often enough you will begin to reveal who you are and what is important to you, whether in career, relationships or life in general. We write what we need to read.

It’s a place to clarify your feelings, share your ideas and experiences, release the past and make plans for the future, all without judgement. Your journal is your best friend. At the very least it is a to-do list, for items big and small. The act of writing something down makes it real and tangible and helps crystallize the hurricane of thoughts and emotions we often have swirling around inside of us.

After the process of putting it all on the page, it can make us more effective in communicating what it is we need or want from others or from ourselves, and actually make sense doing so! I also suggest using a pen and paper whenever possible-  it’s more organic and raw when you take out the technological middle man.

If you access your authentic voice in writing then, as Erica said, “being an author makes you an authority.” You don’t have to be the next Maya Angelou, JD Salinger or Danielle Steele to be the author of your own life and truth. Have a little writer’s block or need a ghostwriter to help give you context or an outline of how to even begin? Just give me a buzz and I’ll have you on your own personal best-seller list before you can say Pulitzer Prize!

In the movie Ever After, Drew Barrymore’s character Danielle asks Leonardo da Vinci, “A bird may love a fish, signore, but where will they live?”

There are some of us who like to exist more submerged, exploring inner space and our emotions like a scuba diver or that cool Deep-Sea Vehicle used to examine the Titanic wreck on the ocean floor; there are others who fly through the air and live high above the clouds flitting and fluttering this way and that, getting a brief overview of it all and only experiencing the external surface of the world. There are landlubbers, jet skiers and snorkelers who operate somewhere in between. Which one are you?

Humans are made up of at least 75% water, so it makes sense to spend a little time in the metaphorical H2O to get in touch with our feelings and desires, an honest assessment of what’s going on within, even if it’s not your regular place to hang out.  The ideal is to have the best of both worlds, to be able to move between the two when the situation demands: to be either a bird who can swim or a fish that can fly – which although rare, do indeed exist. Or maybe just change your name to Ariel.

But if you’re a little afraid of the abyss, don’t have the right gear or if you need an expert dive instructor, I’m your gal. Or perhaps you’ve been down there a while and are ready to come up for some oxygen and explore new vistas; if so just give me a buzz, and like the great Italian master (just change the o to an i) assures Danielle, “Then I shall make you wings.”

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s one of those times of year when New York City is overrun by tourists, many of which are Europeans who  take much of August for their ‘holiday’.  It’s expected that they have a minimum of four weeks off, which includes touring abroad when possible. Americans can take a hint from that mandated break, and the old world lifestyle of working to live instead of living to work.

Travel is an amazing vehicle for self-discovery and cross-cultural understanding, but you don’t have to have to rely on a Lonely Planet guide or go on a fact finding mission to Italy, India or Bali for a year to  get to know yourself and how to really live. If you took time out to reflect and rejuvenate on a more regular basis, things wouldn’t get to a breaking point that might to cause you to do something so drastic or exotic.

And you don’t have to break the bank either. Vacation simply means to ‘vacate’ from your everyday life – no matter what that means to recharge and get a different view. A simple change of scenery for even a day can do a world of good to give you fresh perspective of where you’re at – especially now before the new ‘school year’ begins and you focus on the next set of goals.

As we approach these dog days of summer, it’s a good time to check out, in order to check in with yourself whether you have a specific itinerary or simply take a mental vacation from your daily routine. Can’t quite get it together or find the perfect destination? Leave the comedy and calamity to Clark Griswold, and instead give me a buzz; I’ll be a tour guide for a smooth and easy getaway to your own personal version of Wally World!

Kristina is taking a summer break from her Personal Growth Gab duties this week, but in the meantime you can enjoy her tips quoted recently in the blog Downtown Dharma and syndicated in the Huffington Post and  Psychology Today, called The Problem with Thinking.

A client of mine recently had a job interview and the first question posed to her was, “So what do you do for fun?” Caught off guard like a deer in headlights, she searched back into the cobwebs of her memory to come up with something from the last decade.

I often advise folks to relax, take time off and have to convince them that a healthy dose of pleasure is indeed productive. When I suggest that they do something that is a treat for them, an automatic excuse is that they “can’t afford it”, but there are many things you can do that don’t cost a lot in time or money.

You can find joy and relaxation in simple pleasures like listening to your favorite music, taking a Zumba class, playing bridge, laughing with a good friend, cooking a delicious meal, being on the beach at sunset or sunrise, talking a walk at lunchtime, riding a roller coaster, drinking a cold beer on a hot summer day, cuddling with your pet, reading a good/ trashy novel or fashion/tabloid magazine, or enjoying the swirly goodness of Pinkberry made extra special by half -off happy hour prices!

And don’t forget, our bodies are built for pleasure, so be sure to make time for that, too, and reap the scientifically proven benefits that accompany a good roll in the hay with that special someone in person, or in your head….(Javier Bardem anyone?)

All work and no play, or too much play and not enough work, will most definitely not keep the doctor away. As in all things, balance and awareness is key. Taking a few moments, hours, and days to adjust on a regular basis will make your life more refreshed, energized and focused – and contribute to landing that next job!

So if the last time you remember having fun dates back to Janet Jackson’s 1986 hit song, or you can’t seem to allow yourself to let go now and then, give me a buzz and I’ll give you the permission you need to put the pep back in your step and the zest back in your quest.

Last week marked the 41st anniversary of the landing of Apollo 11 on the moon, where the famous words uttered by Neil Armstrong beamed down “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” Most of us will not be able to have our feet touch the lunar landscape in our lifetime, but can you imagine what kind of step would be the equivalent of that for your life here on Earth?

When you’re on a tightrope or crossing over a stream you must be very conscious and super-present at every moment, as one wrong move would surely cause you harm.   Each step serves its unique purpose to get you further to your destination, no matter if there are 200, 20, or a very special 12.

As the wise saying goes, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Sometimes we need to take baby steps, sometimes we have to take one giant step, and many times we seem to take two steps forward and one step back.

But most of all, from time to time, it’s important for us to step outside our comfort zone. If we don’t take the initiative to stretch ourselves here and there, then we often miss opportunities to learn and grow (and/or the Universe eventually ends up pushing us one way or another anyway)!

So if you are in transition or at a place where you feel like your footing is a little unsure, give me a buzz. I will help you get your bearings, hold your hand, keep you steady, and guide you along, one step at a time, to get from one side of the riverbank to the other or one moonbeam to the next.

John and Abigail Adams. King Hussein and Queen Noor. Bill and Melinda Gates.  Barack and Michelle Obama.  Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy? These are just some couples who appear to have a great partnership as well as romance and passion in their marriages.  (The jury is still out on Bethenny and Jason…but they looked the part for TV, didn’t they?)

Back in the day (and in some parts in the world still) especially for women, being hitched was linked to survival or a business transaction between families.  In 2010, where we can now lead successful independent lives, where does that leave us with the whole question of saying “I do”? (For an interesting musing on the subject check out Liz Gilbert’s recent book, Committed)

The ‘fruits of feminism’ have at times confused us all. As I recently heard in a lecture by sociologist and masculinity expert Michael Kimmel, if a woman is captain of the ice hockey team and top of her class at Yale, the guys subconsciously think, what the heck does she need me for?

Whether a woman or a man we all have needs, and then things we think are needs. You may not need another person to take care of you physically, emotionally, financially and/or spiritually, but everyone wants someone to love and to be loved in return, whether you’re woman, man or even a fish. We look for partners, friends, lovers, intimacy. And that has nothing to do with what gender you are, what era you were born in or who the object of your affection may be – it is a timeless, eternal and basic human instinct.

But before you tie the knot with another (or at any point throughout your nuptial bliss or blitz) I always recommend marrying yourself first – whatever that means to you.  Because if you don’t promise to love, honor and cherish yourself, then why would anyone else?

Can’t quite make it to the altar with yourself or your beloved? I’m no Dr. Ruth, Millionaire Matchmaker or internet-ordained minister, but I can serve as justice of the peace and help you discover that first comes self-love, then comes some form of marriage, then comes whatever it is you desire, even if it is just a cabbage.

There’s a saying that warns about not ‘seeing the forest for the trees,’ a metaphor for when one is too mired down in details to recognize the big picture of whatever a particular situation encompasses, or your life in general.

These days it is easier to do so in the most unconscious ways; now more than ever we are sucked into dealing with all the daily minutiae of responding to emails and texts, updating and reading tweets and facebook posts, paying bills, cleaning out/up our homes/offices etc.  – all of which to a certain extent are necessary and which make us feel productive, but many times are not moving us forward or getting us closer to our goals.

Fairy tales often center around the woods and the mysteries they appear to contain or reveal.  Be sure to make regular, not just once upon a time, visits with your journal to a forest near you to experience their magic and wisdom, keeping in mind  the ‘enchantments’ that accompany such journeys always point to the fact that the answers, tools and courage our hero/heroine is searching for exist inside themselves, and as a result transformation occurs.

So the irony of that famous saying then is that being literally surrounded by trees is one of the best places you can be in order to see the forest!

But if you can’t make it upstate or to the woodsiest part of Central Park for a few hours, give me a buzz and I can be like one of those Ents from Lord of the Rings that shepherds you with a bird’s eye view to help you live happily ever after all the way through!

Our founding fathers, mothers, cousins and friends infused our nation with extraordinary concepts of human evolution and the ideals of true freedom, and we have much to thank them for.

Their ‘greatest social experiment in history’ has had its ups and downs, and our culture is in constant motion; good, bad or otherwise because of it. Although we no longer exist beneath the thumb of our former rulers across the pond, we all live to some extent under the control of something or someone.

July then is a great time to step back, reflect upon and extricate yourself from whatever that might be. Whether technology, bright shiny things, outdated relationships or ways of thinking, food or other substances, and the illusion of connectedness and fulfillment that they all give, find your voice among all the white noise and distractions and replace them with the enlightened, revolutionary spirit this country was founded on: your definition and assertion of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

These times they are a changin’, so in the Spirit of ’76 take this month to also perform your own experiment and declare independence from blind obedience to conventional wisdom that may no longer be conventional, nor wise.

If you can’t quite see through the rockets’ red glare, give me a buzz and I will show how you do indeed live in the land of the free, and can make your life a home of the brave!