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One of my favorite songs this (or any!) time of year – is Will Smith/DJ Jazzy Jeff’s  Summertime. Nearly two decades old, it still has a timeless, classic vibe and sweet groove that embodies the flava of the season.

With the solstice now behind us, summer has officially started. We’re in the midst of many endings and beginnings – school finishes, camp commences; text books begone, trashy novels devoured; serious films scaled back, popcorn vampire explosion movies released in full force; beach and barbeque gatherings abound.  For a couple of months we allow ourselves to take more time than usual to enjoy outdoor, fun, social and recreational activities without much of the guilt or low priority often assigned to them the rest of the year.

We’re also halfway through the year – a good time to check in with yourself and see if you need to rev up your engines, shift gears or just cruise along with your roof down taking in the scenery while listening to some fly tunes.

For many you can simply let all the hard work you put in the first six months of the year marinate a bit more before putting it on the grill. But if you’re far away from where you set out to be in January, feeling restless instead of relaxed, or not even sure what your focus should be with these long hot days ahead, give me a buzz. I’m here to help you make the most of your energy and time… then you can just sit back and unwind. 

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on June 22, 2010)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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Well hello. Yes, it’s been three weeks since you last heard from me – the longest PGG pause in 5 1/2 years! So much has happened in the world recently that I would have liked to comment on through these missives, but allow me to take a more personal note at this time since my focus has been intensely elsewhere these past couple months.

Many of you know my mom had been dealing with several health issues for quite some time now. Some of you might have met her years ago at a Women’s Mosaic event, or remember the PGG about her amazing spirit in What’s Your Number? You might have also read about when she had open heart surgery in Heart & Soul and The Patience of Patients.

Today I am writing you about the loss of one of the most generous, beautiful and vibrant women I know, click here to read more.

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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If you are like me, my clients, family, friends and the rest of the world, you’ve been through some stuff the past six months (well more like the past two years, oh heck, since the Fall of 2008!) that has tested, stretched, stressed and made you confront some not-so-pleasant realities about yourself, your life and the people in it.

This meant lots of changes, whether forced upon you from the outside – i.e., having no choice but to move; getting laid off from your job; dealing with a divorce, breakup, or loss of a loved one – or internally, i.e., you were so sick of yourself or your situation that you had to do something, not the least of which was to change your perspective, or finally accept the reality of how things are, rather than how you imagined or wished them to be.

The more challenges you have and the more you resist, the worse things get. This has been a time of “go with the flow,” so whatever you’ve been through, know that it is exactly what you needed to make you stronger and get you to where you need to be next.

A lot of my work is about teaching you to trust yourself, have faith in the process and possess the patience to let life unfold as it should – even with those bumps in the road and unexpected twists and turns along the way. As long as you are intimate, honest and honoring with and of yourself while consistently being in action (which is sometimes non-action), whether internal or external, have confidence that things will shake out the way they are supposed to, in time and on time, in whatever form the Universe deems is best for you.

It all starts with knowing and owning who you are, where you’re at, what you truly want, and realizing you have the power to be the fullest, deepest expression of yourself if only you make it your responsibility and yours alone.  It means we have to grow up.

One of the tools I gave those ninth-graders last month – which I referred to it as a superpower- was to be grateful whenever things get a little rough. Like those magic words “Open Sesame!,” by simply focusing on something you can be thankful for, all of a sudden the pressure is lifted and a metaphorical door or window opensto let in a cool breeze, provide an answer to that riddle, or reveal a hidden treasure.

So no matter what you’ve been through recently, make sure you see the gift in the gristle, which is GROWTH.  Give it up with a great big letting go of the past, and exhale heartfelt gratitude for whatever life handed to you, having gotten through it, and embrace all the good you’ve gained and have yet to experience as a result. 

Need to survey the lay of the land as the dust settles to sort out who’s who and what’s what? Give me a buzz and I’ll help you thank that unexpected messy house guest who disrupted your home, but in the end left it better off than it was when he got there.

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on May 14, 2014)

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As someone who is pretty dyslexic, I often switch prefixes and mash up my words when writing and speaking. When talking to a good friend recently who was very scattered and exhausted, I somehow came out with the word “mentical” when observing how she was mentally disconnected from her physical body. It seemed to be a perfect way to describe the   “dis-ease” that a lot of 21st century urbanites suffer from, and we immediately adopted it into our vocabulary. And then I told her: A walk in the woods is a way to mitigate the mentical.

After spending many hours in a hospital with my mom over the past two months, I knew what I needed to do in order to get rid of the accumulated “ick” from such an environment, and headed to a nearby nature preserve. I felt the benefits in five minutes! It was as if I had dipped myself in some magic potion; I came out refreshed, healed and cleansed.

Several years ago, I gave as homework to one of my clients, an African-American woman, to go spend some time exploring and journaling deep in a woodsy park.  She looked at me like I had two heads and said “You know Black folk don’t hike…?!” I laughed and of course didn’t care, and she wisely heeded the assignment and is now an avid fan of the activity, and has even influenced many in her circle to try it as well.

However this is not about “hiking” per se, in the very athletic sense of climb difficulty and views as a reward etc. It’s about letting the energy of those deep green leaves absorb any negative mental, emotional, physical and spiritual vibes within and around us and let us take in some good ones from them.  It’s purely alchemical.

Most people flock to the beach in the summer. I’ve always headed for the trees. At least in the Northeast, this is the time of the year where they are the most lush and verdant.  They are at their peak of healing juiciness and they call out to me big time!

As usual, science finally caught up with and “proved’ what I and others have known intuitively and have been doing for eons; earlier this year I was thrilled to come across this article which justified my cure to myself and others of spending time in the woods.  Apparently the Japanese have coined the term “forest bathing” and put some explanation and studies behind what I simply experienced to be common sense and feel good…they are now using as preventative medicine as well as prescriptive for asthma, depression and other ailments!  I bow and thank you for affirming my “homework,” government of Japan.

I have come to find the practice even more necessary these days with our increasing dependence on electronic devices – who knows what stuff they are emitting and what wifi is really doing to us mentally and physically.  Remember that plants and trees suck the carbon dioxide out of the air and increase the oxygen – for us city folk we need as much clean fresh air as we can get. Especially if you have been spending a lot of time in hospitals, airports, and/or inhabit the concrete jungle, it’s the perfect antidote to erratic energy, recycled, conditioned and even toxic air.

Once you get yourself to a park, preserve or forest, the first thing to do is express gratitude.  Think about how the trees and plants are always there, evolving, growing, moving towards life, no matter what they’re handed or how much they suffer – they remain steadfast in supporting and healing us. By giving thanks perhaps we can counteract some of the abuse we has humans have doled out!  I generally recommend going alone, or with just a few close friends/partners who “get it”.  Take deep breaths and move slowly. Be grateful for the miracle that is Mother Earth. Visualize and feel the trees like a filter absorbing all the guck in us at that moment. Let yourself be grounded and feel any stress, worry or disease be released from your mental, physical and emotional bodies.

If you can’t get to an actual forest, perhaps your gym’s tread mills have one of those virtual videos courses so you can feel as if you are – now this does not give you any of the alchemical benefits I’ve mentioned above, however it is still good for meditation purposes so hey it’s better than nothing!

The beach can be the bomb in a different way when it comes to healing too so listen to your body and hear what it’s asking for. You probably don’t need to go to the extreme like Reese/Cheryl  in order to your reclaim your soul and sanity, but if you’re not sure about the who, what, why and where of your personal Nature Rx, give me a buzz. I’ll be the forest ranger in the Pharrell hat that points you in the right direction, reminds you to take it all in, and will be there should you get lost on the trail.

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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Newton’s famous law states that a body at rest stays at rest and a body in motion will stay in motion until some external force acts upon it.  With our 24/7 always on, hyperconnected, overachieving, digital info-media world, most 21st century Americans live in a flow of perpetual momentum with no end in sight. Neither extreme is good, so to balance ourselves we must consciously and continually self-regulate and impose as a rejuvenating or preventative measure the act of stopping all activity from time to time. Yes, I said Stop. All. Activity.

I think pretty much all the time, about practical and bigger picture things, reflecting on the state of the world, my life, my work – analyzing, understanding, observing and being as aware as possible every waking moment, and of course I am not immune to the stresses that everyday life and being human entails.  This past weekend I ‘slept’ for almost an entire day. But not due of lack of zzzz’s, or being sick, depressed or eating bad food, but simply because after everything I’ve been dealing with the past month or two, my mind, emotions and body needed me to temporarily shut down. I had nothing pressing going on, which the wisdom in my body knew and said to me, as it does every now and then, Time for a rest. 

Just like bears that hibernate each winter, we need to take a periodic pause – especially after or during a busy, challenging or stressful period – to let our bodies be still on all levels so we can reconnect, regroup and emerge refreshed and re-energized to our lives and the tasks at hand. That means (gasp!) disconnect from technology and interaction with other people, if possible, so as not to expend any physical, mental or emotional juice.

You can sleep or not sleep, but there should be no distractions or even sound if you can swing it. And no thinking, no reading, no writing. And no guilt.  Just luxuriate in the nothingness. Schedule and treat it as if it were a doctor’s appointment or trip to a resort spa – because it is that crucial to your physical and mental health. In other words,why not give your body and mind a break before they break down on you?

Our society promotes getting it all done all the time, which can take its toll when not interspersed with some serious downtime, which most folks only allow themselves when things have gotten so bad they are physically ill.  Keep in mind that even though you might be getting enough sleep and eating right and don’t have the flu, when you’re dealing with ongoing stress, you burn a different type of energy, which needs to be replenished with rest.  And resting is different from relaxing…but if you can’t rest, then relaxing is better than nothing!

Because I’m pretty good at daily maintenance, I am generally healthy and balanced (including a weekly 24-hour no-computer usage rule) so I know when it’s time to heed the call in order to nip anything else in the bud.( And hey, most of the news, entertainment, activity, tweets etc.you would be ‘missing’ are non-essential, irrelevant and often nonsensical anyway – so really, let it go!)

Stress is inevitable, it’s how we manage it that counts, and rest plays a big part. Need help putting on the brakes? Give me a buzz and I can be the external force that gets the ball moving or the hand that stops you in your track, so you can get back on the right one!

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on February 20, 2013)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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The unofficial start of summer is traditionally accompanied by a more relaxed, go-with-the-flow kind of attitude.  Years ago, re-runs were shown on a very limited number of TV channels and there was no Internet to entice/distract/constrain us from being outside enjoying the warmer weather and longer days.

With our 21st century 24/7 lifestyle, this means that we have to consciously take time to disconnect with technology and re-connect with Nature, and ourselves.   

Like that cool special effect in big blockbuster movies of our recent past and present,  we need to pause midair and get a full 360 degree view of what is going on around us so that we can take the precise action to defend and/or advance who we are and what we want.

So while in the park or at the beach, be sure to take a moment to reflect on where you really want to be going and why, rather than just moving unconsciously from one activity to the next, day after day.  If you’ve been feeling anxious or not in control, give me a buzz – I’ll take the remote out of your hand, put it on slo-mo, and guarantee you’ll be Feelin’ Groovy in no time!

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on June 1, 2010)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure. ~ Peter Marshall

In case you haven’t noticed, my Personal Growth Gab eblasts have been a bit erratic as of late.  I have been juggling several balls and doing the best I can, in the time I have, with the resources at my disposal, and frankly for the most part have been kickin’ some butt managing it all!

Although I do not received any direct monetary compensation for sending out these weekly PGGs , I have received an overwhelmingly positive response, which provides a level of satisfaction, joy and sense of obligation for me to consistently give you some food for thought, inspiration and perhaps a chuckle to start your week.

But sometimes life gets to be too much all at the same time, and as another PGG says, Something’s Gotta Give. The good news is that these times are always temporary.      

When I was in Tunisia during Ramadan a few years ago, our guide could not eat or drink the entire day while he was educating us about the history and architecture of his country and taking care of all our needs. When I expressed my concern for him working under such conditions, he replied in the calmest, most Zen way, which only a person who is fasting while working 10-12 hours a day in the heat and could say, ” There are no problems, only opportunities.” 

Between the extreme summer temperatures, the public pressure felt from the debt ceiling and other world problems, the many decisions and twists of fate that have been thrown my way -all while trying to throw a celebration of the last ten years of my life – have been an exercise in self-worth, focus and discipline. Let’s just say a few of my carbon atoms have definitely transformed into diamonds, or at least crystallized!

I’ve chosen a journey that includes many challenging situations, having to prove myself and my tenacity, putting everything I preach into practice, be able to turn on a dime, process things quickly and ask for help. I’ve been getting quite the workout, that’s for sure, and have felt like a ninja warrior most recently, but am so grateful, as I am stronger and better for having gone through it all. 

Feeling a little Under Pressure yourself?  Give me a buzz and I can show you how to walk through the fire and become a lean, mean, diamond-making machine. We’ll figure out what the heck and why and what the benefit of all that was – knowing everything happens in time and on time to keep you going and growing in the direction to become the mighty oak that you are!

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on August 2, 2011)

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A human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind,”  was the conclusion of a new Harvard study  using an iPhone app.  It is a sentiment that many religions and philosophies have proclaimed for centuries that can best be summed up by the popular phrase, “Be here now.”

If researchers had a window into our minds, they’d see that we are almost never fully engaged in what is right in front of us, whether we’re thinking of something in the past or future, or simply not focused on the task at hand, and that causes unhappiness.

According to Andrew Bersnstein’s  The Myth of Stress , it’s not the activity or situation that is the stressor, it’s our mind’s perception and reaction to the situation that causes the stress.  By recognizing the reality of the situation at that particular time, and really see why it is happening is a way to greatly reduce your adverse response to whatever is taking place.

I am always talking about process and “understanding where you’re at.” Most unpleasant situations you find yourself in are impermanent; by simply accepting the fact that they are temporary, you can greatly increase your sense of inner peace and balance.  Because life is constantly in motion you need to learn how to ‘go with the flow’ and know that ‘this too shall pass.’

Remember that if you show up, mentally and emotionally, as well as physically, to that meeting, event or conversation, you’ve already done half the work and the Universe can meet you halfway to create whatever it is you want or need.

Out of chaos always comes clarity. Need a little help living in the unknown and keepin’ it in real time?  I can be your personal iPhone app that checks in to show you how to make sense of and the best out of any situation in which you happen to be…

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on November 16, 2010)

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Humanity with all its fears,

With all its hopes of future years,

Is hanging breathless on thy fate.

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Those words may seem a little dramatic, but many of you know my philosophy is that personal transformation is the key to social transformation.  And as I also always say, we are living in extraordinary times.  There is a reason why you are born at the time and place you were born, with the characteristics – physical, mental and emotional, every circumstance – that you possess; you are who you are at this particular point in history for a reason.

Our country and our world is in the midst of an identity crisis which brings with it some tough growing pains. Things are shifting and reaching their breaking point on every level – whether being fed up with racial injustice, fighting for a government and economy that works without legislating by greed or medieval definitions of morality, having the courage to speak up for what it means to be comfortable in your own skin regardless of the gender you appear to be vs. what you know you are, your rights to your sexual orientation; the Earth crying out for healing with earthquakes and extreme weather and the subsequent destruction and crisis’ that force us to work together, or even collectively lamenting the end of an era with Dave and Jon’s exit from their late night posts, the Universe is pushing us to our limits and asking us to stretch our ultimate acceptance of each other as part of the same human family.

Change brings with it the unknown, which makes most of people kind of bonkers. Perhaps you or a loved one are experience a health crisis, experiencing a breakup or natural disaster, transitioning from male to female, or are graduating from one grade to the next or one degree to the “real” world.  Not knowing what’s next, or realizing that what once was no longer is can be unsettling to say the least when we don’t have the tools and perspective to cope.

One antidote to this anxiety is remembering that everyone has a gift to offer and when you both discover and use that gift in the present, it is much easier to trust what may come tomorrow. Dr. Christianne Northrup talks about how the greatest gift you can give to the world is a healed life. If you want to heal others, you don’t even have to be a doctor or a nurse; you can be like the 23year old young man who so lovingly, respectfully and skillfully transports extremely vulnerable patients from their hospital bed to procedure; making their day just a little less stressful, and provides much comfort and ease to help alleviate the fear such a situation entails.

You can connect and find common ground with, or event protest for the rights of someone who is seemingly different from you. You can send a text to see how your friend is doing. You can write a song or book or paint a picture that brings even just a few moments of joy and upliftment to someone in the midst of a challenging situation. Maybe you have the big, profound idea that will literally change the way we live, or  save millions of lives, or maybe you just allow yourself to be who you are and pursue your highest calling, no matter what that is or what it looks like, or how different it may be than everyone currently around you.   

You matter. Everyone has a part to play in the healing of our planet, regardless how big or small. We are all trying to survive and thrive the best we can.  We have to resist the tendency for technology to make us robots and feel disconnected to others; we can all do something everyday that is of service to someone else or expresses gratitude to the service someone has done for us.

Life matters. What we do right now determines how we will live tomorrow.  As the poet Mary Oliver says, “The patterns of our lives reveal us. Our habits measure us. Our battles with our habits speak of dreams yet to become real.”  What kind of presence – not wishful thinking – are you giving to today, knowing that it will make a better tomorrow? We are here to heal the wounds of our world and to lend our voice, talent, passion, money and action to leave it a better place with our having existed.

Not sure what your part in the future is? I’m no Disney-fied version of George Clooney, but can nevertheless inspire you to make the most of today, and if not, assure you like a little orphan named Annie, that the sun will always come out, because tomorrow is only a day away… 

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace. ~ Jimi Hendrix

If you have been receiving PGGs for a while, worked with me individually or come to one of my group sessions, you know that I talk a lot about love. But the love that I talk about is not some airy-fairy, namby-pamby, hippie-dippy notion or one that has been misused, watered-down, misunderstood, or simply lost its meaning with lip service.

Real love is the real deal. As Mahatma Gandhi says “Love is the strongest force the world possesses, and yet it is the humblest imaginable.”  Fifty years ago we witnessed an era where our civil rights leaders and all those who were part of that struggle dug deep and called upon this force within themselves to withstand the immense opposition and cruelty they experienced on a daily basis in order to transform society as it existed at the time.

More recently we could not have had a more immediate, direct and tangible example of this phenomenon when one single woman, Antoinette Tuff, used it to save the lives of over 800 people, most of them children, from a lone, heavily loaded mentally ill gunman in Decatur, Georgia.  If you do not know the story, or haven’t seen this extraordinary woman talk about what happened, you must learn about her. (Google the numerous stories, or watch this interview and listen to the entire 911 call).

As humans we are all built from the same stuff.  Love doesn’t know race, sexual orientation or religion – if you are human you can love.  If you are human you respond to love.  As Antoinette and Michael Stipe say, Everybody Hurts sometimes. Everyone needs connection and affection.  Compassion and empathy are palpable and are the best antidotes to fear and pain.

If you’ve seen me speak, you know I am always mentioning the fact that the root of the word for courage is Latin for ‘heart’.  Which means that true bravery is about connecting to that part of yourself, knowing its innate power, and having faith in a force greater and wiser than yourself (or beyond your ego/brain).

So the next time you find yourself in a challenging situation or being attacked in some form, whether it be mental, emotional, or yes, sometimes even physical, instead of using violence to counteract violence, why not call upon the most powerful weapon at your disposal: L.O.V.E. 

Need a little help harnessing the heft of your heart? Give me a buzz and I will show you how to give it a good work-out, because at the end of the day love like is a muscle – the more you use it, the stronger it will become – and who knows what miracles will occur in your life or the lives of others because of it!

(*Today’s PGG was originally posted on August 28, 2013)

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!   Click on above links for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

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