There is a Yiddish saying a good friend used to quote to me often: Mentsch tracht, Gott lacht. Man plans, God laughs.

On my collage from a past Visioning Workshop, the renowned Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh more eloquently elaborates on this as: “People sacrifice the present for the future. But life is possible only in the present.”

Especially in this era of instant everything and a world of answers literally at our fingertips, one of the hardest things for us to do is live in that space where we don’t know what will happen next. With the unemployment rate at record highs, more and more people are learning the hard way how to experience life in this manner.

People in career transition, artists and freelancers have to operate without knowing where their next paycheck will be coming from.  People in new relationships are at often at sea in uncharted emotional waters.  Whenever we put ourselves in unfamiliar social territory or a take a trip to a place we’ve never been before we journey into the unknown – which is why it’s so important to travel, as it is one of the most natural ways to be in the present.

An easy way to add anxiety and stress in your life is to allow yourself to be overwhelmed with all the things you think you need to accomplish in the near or not so near future. The reality is that we can’t possibly know what tomorrow will bring so we might as well trust that the right decision or action today will lead you to where you need to go, even if you don’t know where you are ultimately going.

So when life is a big question mark, a blank slate, or if you find yourself in terra incognita, I can help you fill in the blanks and navigate your way through, or simply show you how to be where you are.  Give me a buzz and I will be the lighthouse in the fog, the compass in your pocket, to help guide you to your most authentic destination, in time and on time.

P.S. For more thoughts on this topic check out my post: The Present of Presence

P.P.S  Create your own collage at our next Visioning Workshop on 2/18/12!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on 9-14-10)

This past weekend I attended a double-feature of documentaries at the Explorer’s Club, and was particularly moved by the film Man on a Mission, which follows the lifelong journey of multi-millionaire video game celebrity/genius Richard Garriott and his dream to become the first second-generation American astronaut.

Now, I’m not a ‘space cadet’ (as I learned such enthusiasts are called) but I did become enraptured by this extraordinary man’s quest, despite several obstacles, millions of dollars, and intense physical and mental training, to manifest his desire to follow in his father’s footsteps. Like any other person with their eye on the prize, he just did whatever he needed to make things happen, and it’s a truly inspiring real-life, albeit super-sized, tale.

But besides making ground-breaking history and removing barriers to space travel, Garriott described his experience as transformational – as many who return from orbit do – because of what is called the ‘overview effect‘ – seeing the Earth from outer space and the internal shift and revelations that transpire as a result.

Yet you don’t have to endure zero gravity or eat freeze-dried goop to get a similar perspective if you just take a step back from time to time and simply imagine what your life would look like if observed from the International Space Station, and how it fits into the rest of the Big Blue Marble we inhabit.

If you can’t quite get there on your own, then give me a buzz so I can reflect a little moonlight on you and have our session be the launch pad to a life that any Earthling or extraterrestrial would envy!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on 6-15-10)

Click here for details on my 2012 Special New Year Coaching Discounts & Offers!

 “Life’s most urgent question is: What are you doing for others?”  Martin Luther King, Jr.

One of the most common desires I hear from clients when embarking on a new career or making a transition is that they want to be doing something with meaning, something that helps people.

My approach is to ask them,  “What is the thing that makes you, you? What you are passionate about; when do you lose track of time?” I inquire as to what their fantasy job would be, and very rarely does that answer have to do with becoming a social worker or joining the Peace Corps.

You don’t have to become the next Mother Teresa, Gandhi or MLK to make a difference and live your life in service to others. Perhaps that may be your path, but as Dr. King also said, “Everyone can be great, because everyone can serve.” Running for public office or volunteering on a regular basis can certainly fill that role, but service can be expressed in a myriad of forms that aren’t always so obvious or grandiose. Just being yourself and doing your best at YOU allows us to benefit from whatever unique gifts and talents you possess. 

When one’s work is done with love and integrity, every job is one of service. MLK day is also about celebrating diversity, which can refer to many things including occupation.  We all have jobs that make the world go round. Whether it’s the super taking care of your building, the bus driver making sure you get to your destination safely, the guy who makes your coffee and bagel every morning, the janitor that cleans the public restrooms you use, the designer of the clothes you are wearing, the comedian that made you laugh last night, the singer whose song you enjoyed on your Ipod, writer whose novel you devoured over the weekend – no occupation is too insignificant, as long as it is done to the best of one’s ability, you can see how any of those people have served you on some level.

And regardless of your job, there is also the service you can provide by smiling at someone when you’re walking down the street, or showing a kindness to a stranger, and notice how for moment you made someone happy or uplifted them in some way.

The thing that I enjoy most and lose track of time doing is talking to folks about their life’s work and helping them make their everyday existence as meaningful and peaceful as possible. I would love the opportunity to help you connect the dots of your life, create more work/life balance and recognize the value in whatever you do,  so just give me a buzz as I am always here, at your service!

(Today’s PGG was originally posted on 1-18-11)

 REMINDER:  Take advantage of the opportunity for group coaching and support THIS WEEK at my Thursdays at Three session on 1/19.  Contact me or click on the above mentioned link for more details!

Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted in something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained. ~ Marie Curie

Genius is two percent inspiration, ninety-eight percent perspiration.  ~Thomas Alva Edison

Marie Curie spent four grueling years in her laboratory without any guarantees that her work would not be in vain.  As Albert Einstein commented, “The greatest scientific deed of her life – proving the existence of radioactive elements and isolating them – owes its accomplishment not merely to bold intuition but to a devotion and tenacity in execution under the most extreme hardships imaginable, such as the history of experimental science has not often witnessed.”

As a result of her conviction, patience and fortitude along with the support of her husband and partner Pierre Curie, Marie Curie became the first woman to win a Nobel Prize, and only one of two people ever to have been bestowed the honor more than once!

It’s important to note that the word laboratory contains the word “labor” which means ‘to work’.  The word experiment contains within it the same root of the word experience, which is defined as ‘practical contact with and observation of facts or events.’  In this great laboratory called Life we are most alive and creative when stretching ourselves to make discoveries, determinations or testing hypotheses of our own or others’ making.

The only way for evolution and growth to take place is to step out of our comfort zones, find out what works and what doesn’t – whether it be with your health, career, relationships – what sticks and what is more suitable for the literal or metaphoric trash can?  We must have a myriad of experiences – good, bad and everything in between – as they are our best teachers.  As I often tell my clients ‘you need to get your hands dirty’ – get out there, out of your bubble, out of the theory/fantasy in your head and interact with life to see what it has in store for you, how it can mold and shape you, see what you’re made of, what are your likes/dislikes and what new vistas it contains, all of which serve to make you ever stronger and wiser.

This is especially true when at a crossroads, a point of no return; when it seems like you’re at the edge of a cliff and the only option is to jump off to get to your next destination.  As scary as that feels, the fear of moving forward is far better than the dread of staying where you are at or turning back, knowing that failures, both big and small, will always beset you on this new journey in order to learn, just like an infant who at some point has to take those first steps – and fall many many times – before he’s able to confidently walk on his own.  Remember that Thomas Edison never failed; he just found 10,000 ways that didn’t work!

Just as the Founding Fathers called the formation of our nation “greatest social experiment in history”, which continues to have its share of both successes and failures since its birth, this year why not commit to seeing your life, or at least one aspect of it, as your own experiment with new actions based on sound information or solid intuition as knowledge is gained – keeping in mind that some of us are more introverted so we need to explore more outwardly, and those of us who are more extroverted, would experiment with being quiet and exploring our internal worlds.

Need a little help with your own personal or professional life research?  Give me a buzz and I’ll be the scientist that collects, analyzes and assesses the data you’ve accumulated so far, as well as take inventory of your inherent traits in order to discover (or re-discover) that which will bring you the most fulfillment and success in 2012 and beyond!

Kristina

SPECIAL NOTE: In keeping with the spirit of experimentation, I will be changing up the frequency/format of Personal Growth Gab. I will be offering an original long version message like this one only once or twice a month. Don’t fret! In the interim I will continue to offer a  ‘weekly dose of thought-provoking, inspirational and entertaining helpful tidbits to keep you connected with yourself and make sense of this journey called life’ via repeats of relevant past posts interspersed with other creative pieces.

Feel free to contact me with your feedback and suggestions at any time so I know if you are diggin’ it!

  Hope you are enjoying the holidays!

 It’s that time of year to offer a look back at some Personal Growth Gab fan favorites from 2011:

 Changing of the Guard

Freedom is Fashionable

(Wo)Man Up

And S/he Was

Battle of the Bulge

Work It

Six Seconds 

A Tale of Two Streets

 We’ve had quite the tumultuous year, so don’t forget to take some time to review all that you’ve accomplished and learned internally and externally throughout the past twelve months, and think about what you’d like to do in the next 365 days!

 Looking for some one-on-one guidance and support to gain clarity, balance and direction in your life for 2012 and beyond?  Be sure to contact me for an Essential Self Consultation today!

 Wishing you a Peaceful & Prosperous New Year!

Kristina 

Well, it was a bad year for dictators, and that’s a good thing for the rest of us.  Now that there is the possibility, and in fact the dawning or re-birthing of a more democratic existence across the globe, we must remember to do our part to make it so.

No matter what the topic, I always talk about two things in my seminars: how can we expect to have peace on this planet if we don’t have peace in our own lives; and everyone should cook.  Ergo, we must have peace in our kitchens in order to have peace in our lives in order to have peace in the world.

Whether you consider yourself the next Top Chef or think heating up leftovers in the microwave qualifies, my go-to recipe that gourmets and gauche gourmands alike can make is pea soup. Cooking in general, and especially something like soup, is extremely meditative and teaches us that life does not always function like an instant message; this forces you to slow down, be more present, have more patience and then literally enjoy the fruits of your labor.

One ingredient alone won’t cut it, and you can really make the recipe your own.  Each chopped up piece of onion, carrot, celery, garlic,  (ham, kale, turnip, parsnip, sweet potato…whatever else you want to put in there) and of course split peas ultimately blend together in an harmonious way; the whole meal is highly nutritious with many healthy benefits and the subtle combination of these diverse components over time brings out the best in each other.  Yum.

It was once said that the United States is a melting pot, and as a struggling global superpower, if that can truly be realized in its most positive sense, the rest of the world has a pretty good shot as well.  So, as you’re making the soup, perhaps visualize the ingredients as Red States and Blue States, the Rich and the Poor, White, Black, Muslim, Non-Muslim, Gay, Straight, Liberals and Conservatives – and why not throw in the countries of the European Union as well, since they need all the help they can get at the moment…

But if you really are a menace to yourself and others in the galley, you can always take a mental ride on the Peace Train  or imagine yourself a member of the YouTube Symphony Orchestra, with 100 artists from more than 30 countries representing over 26 instruments who have come together to create that beautiful universal language known as music.

Still feel like your Jong is kind of Il?  Give me a buzz and I’ll help unite your body, relationships, career and life so that they can be peas in a pod  and you can make your contribution by experiencing a deeper sense of peace in your piece of the pie. 

P.S. For related thoughts on this topic, check out my posts  Let Love Rule, Changing of the Guard, Conjuction Junction, and Follow the Leader

We should be evolving into a new age of business with a worldview that maintains one simple proposition-that all of nature: humans, animals, earth, are interconnected and interdependent. — Anita Roddick

Throughout the past few years it’s become even more apparent that the physical glue that binds us together, whether we like it or not, is money, finance, trade.  Between the crumbling of our economy and Europe’s, and thus the world’s, we’ve watched as the powers that be attempt to patch it all together with rubber bands and bubble gum both here and abroad in order to prevent a full-on global collapse.  The technological revolution, increasing demands on natural resources, wars, extreme weather and earth changes also remind us that at this point in history we are inextricably linked and will only to continue to be so.  

The good news is that the rise of social entrepreneurship and demand for corporate social responsibility, along with the accompanying interest from newly minted and currently enrolled MBA’s, even mega-companies like WalMart are being pushed, whether by internal, external or a combination of both forces, to do better and be better. They are expected to make a profit and serve the world community at large as well as minimize, mitigate or eradicate any negative impact of their core business.  We’ve got a long way to go, but it’s a start, whether or not the intention/motivation is purely altruistic. 

But that is only half of the equation, as the deeper currency that holds us together is our common humanity.  Because at the end of the day, we all bleed the same blood and breathe the same air and when stripped to our core generally want the same things during our time on this planet: to live a life that has purpose and meaning and to love and be loved in return.    

So this holiday season be a little more conscious with the way you are spending your ‘cash’, both physically and emotionally, and reflect for a moment on the repercussions of each expenditure. What are you giving, who is that purchase affecting, and what is the receiver ultimately receiving?  What kind of present can do double duty, last year round, or even a lifetime?  Remember it really IS the thought that counts and should demonstrate love for the recipient, regardless of the price tag. 

Want a gift for yourself (or someone you love) that keeps on giving? Give me a buzz and I’ll help you (or your loved one) discover what your personal gift is and how you can give more of it to your work, your family, your relationships and the world at large!   

P.S Check out some socially conscious/women-owned/empowering businesses at TWM’s 2011 Virtual Holiday Bazaar! 

I love to sing.  I’m not very good, but I do it anyway.  I have a ‘belting’ playlist on my iPod and periodically sing my guts out for an audience of none;  I keep my earphones on so I can’t even hear my own off-ptich rendition. Sometimes I’ll be walking down the street or sitting on a bench somewhere and sing slightly out loud, much to the amusement of passersby. Or I’ll blast music in the car and sing at the top of my lungs, much to the dismay of my tween nephews who were with me during a recent episode.

Singing releases pent up energy and allows us to express emotions in a way that words without rhythm, harmony and melody simply cannot. The marriage of thoughts with a tune is powerful, healing one and when done honestly and authentically, connect us to our deepest center, the very core of our being.  As one of my favorite vocalists Jill Scott says, you can study music theory and employ various techniques, but when you come on stage ‘you gotta sing with your soul, play with your soul.’ Those who do are the performers who move us the most.

Like The Muppets and their friends, it’s generally best to sing of good things, not bad; sing of happy not sad, but they can allow to us process darker feelings too, so it’s okay to use corresponding songs according to the situation…just remember the purpose is to release and heal, not get to stuck and wallow.

You never need a reason to sing, but what better excuse to get your grove on than the holidays?  There is no other time of year when it’s more common and acceptable to round up some folks and do some caroling or sit around the dining room table and sing a few festive tunes.  Of course there’s always karaoke, your own bedroom mirror and plenty of choirs and live acts should you need some extra inspiration.

Need a little push to exercise those vocal chords and activate your own personal Glee?  Give me a buzz; we’ll start at the very beginning of your Do Re Mi‘s and find the right song that helps you Dream On so you can Fa La La La La throughout this holiday season and beyond!

P.S. For related thoughts on this topic, check out my post V

Rules are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind. ~Douglas MacArthur

There are no rules here — we’re trying to accomplish something. ~ Thomas Alva Edison

One of my all-time favorite films is Strictly Ballroom for a variety of reasons, one of which is how the main character, a world class ballroom dancer wants to use his own steps in competition and the outrage and ultimately, delight, it causes.  I’ve always loved to dance, but hated formal exercise.  Since I’m not out at the clubs much these days, Zumba and CardioSalsa at the gym have filled the gap; but I never was into doing exactly what was presented – I generally stand in the back enjoying the music and sort of go along with the group.

I recently found a new class called NIA that is perfect for me – it includes sections for “free dance” and encourages you to “dance it your way.”  It kind of looks like hippie dancing, or what you might do if you were in your room when no one was watching; it’s a great workout that speaks to my body in a way that makes me feel good.

This time of year especially is filled with many traditions and routines, along with thoughts about the changes we want to make in the New Year.  My Mom has always made the holidays extra-special with borderline excessive (but not at all tacky) decorations around her home, and this year she just wasn’t feeling it. When I suggested she could put the tree up with a few accent pieces instead of doing the whole Winter Wonderland/Santa’s Workshop she thought it was impossible – it had to be all or nothing.

I insisted it could be done – and took some of the items she put in the same place every year and used them differently.  She fought with me tooth and nail until I proved they would indeed fit in spots she said they wouldn’t. The house looks festive and the mission was accomplished – it feels like a maximum amount of decor with minimal amount of effort!  But it was her resistance to change and incredulity that several options and alternatives existed which were the hardest parts to tackle – she simply couldn’t see any other way except how she’s done it year after year.

Tradition can be a good thing, but it’s important to know when those traditions and routines are serving  or restricting us.  Sometimes you just gotta break the rules, think out of the box, do it ‘your way’. Where we would we be without the hundreds and thousands of rule-breakers both known and unknown in every field, especially the arts, science, fashion, and civil rights?

But the truth is that often our most fervent rules and regulations have been totally self-imposed, and/or are no longer necessary. It’s easy to get caught up doing the same old thing just because that’s the way we’ve always done it.  Sometimes we need a fresh eye, another brain, to look at the same situation and come up with a new solution, a new way of doing things that you couldn’t see because you were too close/it was too engrained in your psyche.

Wondering if change will serve you better than reinforcing the ‘rules’ you have in place right now, or which walls need to come Tumblin Down and be replaced with some new Moves Like Jagger?  Give me a buzz and I’ll be the law enforcement that looks the other way and the instructor that helps you create the right combination of funky steps you can dance to the beat of your own drum!

Kristina is taking a break from Personal Growth Gab this week but is re-posting a blast from November 2010 here. Happy Thanksgiving!
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Whenever the fourth Thursday in November rolls around, we are meant to reflect on all the blessings in our lives. Traditionally that would imply appreciating all that is good or positive and bring us joy and happiness or that we could not live without.

While that is certainly warranted, why not also be grateful for the funky, not-so-positive, annoying and pain-in-the-you-know- where stuff as well: the people, things and situations that challenge us, push our buttons or make us feel uncomfortable.

There is a saying that “There are no problems, only opportunities.” Our crises and difficulties are chances for us to test our mettle, see what we’re made of, and to become stronger and wiser for it. They are occasions for us to make course corrections, adjustments, tune-ups and put ourselves back in balance or on track, or perhaps a different, better track. If things went great all the time you wouldn’t have to dig deep, really look at yourself, search within for answers, find new creative ways of doing things.

Innovation is problem solving at its most basic level  (just watch those Dyson commercials), so where would we be without all the problems we’ve had? Whether unemployed, having a health crisis or trouble in your personal or professional relationships, take a step back and see what is the Universe trying to show/teach you?  Remember those carbon atoms wouldn’t become diamonds without extreme high pressure and heat.

So this year, be thankful not only for the bird that you are about to eat (or tofurkey if that is more your style) but for all those ‘turkeys’ in your life: those folks and circumstances that have given you stress and grief but allowed you to go through and overcome whatever you needed to in order to grow and become the person that you are today.

And if you need a little help seeing how the cr*p in your life is really cool, give me a buzz and we’ll figure  out what should be basted and tasted, and what is simply a little fat that needs to be trimmed.