“A human mind is a wandering mind, and a wandering mind is an unhappy mind,” was the conclusion of a new Harvard study using an iPhone app. It is a sentiment that many religions and philosophies have proclaimed for centuries that can best be summed up by the popular phrase, ‘be here now.’

If someone had a window into our minds, they’d see that we are almost never fully engaged in what is right in front of us, whether we’re thinking of something in the past or future, or simply not focused on the task at hand, and that causes unhappiness.

According to Andrew Bersnstein’s  The Myth of Stress, it’s not the activity or situation itself that is a stressor, but our mind’s perception and reaction to it that causes the stress.  So by recognizing the reality of the situation at that particular time, and really see why it is happening is a way to greatly reduce your adverse response to whatever is taking place.

I am always talking about process and ‘understanding where you’re at.’ Most unpleasant situations we find ourselves in are impermanent; by simply accepting the fact that they are temporary, you can greatly increase your sense of inner peace and balance.  Because life is constantly in motion we need to learn how to just ‘go with the flow’ and know that ‘this too shall pass’.

Remember that if you show up, in your mind and also physically to that meeting or event or participating in that conversation, you’ve already done half the work and the Universe can meet you half way to create whatever it is you want or need. 

Out of chaos always comes clarity. Need a little help living in the unknown and keepin’ it in real time?  I can be your personal iPhone app that checks in to show you how to make sense of and the best out of anywhere you happen to be.

The American poet and educator Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said “Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending.”

A marathon like the famous one NYC just held is a fantastic metaphor for life and how to accomplish what you want in it.  It begins with a commitment, after which you must prepare and discipline yourself with dedication and enthusiasm. You must travel lean – lighten your load of physical, mental and/or emotional baggage along the way.  There will be moments where you feel you can’t go on, but someone, even a complete stranger, will say or do something that will spur and cheer you on. You must have faith in yourself and know there is indeed light at the end of the tunnel.

I have a client who after being laid off from his corporate job realized he wanted to have his own business to be more in control his future.  With a deep belief in himself and a lot of trial and error, blood, sweat and tears, a year and a half later he is now a top national producer.  He keeps his eye on the prize, paces himself, and with stamina and persistence is able to get the job done (and continues to attend our weekly Thursdays at Three group to stay on track, stay balanced and gain support!).

Even with the uncertainty that it brings, he is infinitely happier than when he was working 9-5 with a steady paycheck.  Because he knew what he wanted, made the internal decision and took the necessary external steps, he now reaps the immediate and tangible results of his efforts.

Whether a tortoise or a hare, slow and steady generally wins the race, no matter how long it takes. As long as you start and finish it there is satisfaction because the journey is just as if not more significant than the goal. The important thing is not to compare yourself to others – because we are all at different places in this marathon called life; you need to know your own personal best in any area you are working on.

No one can actually run that race for you, but whether beginner or pro, give me a buzz and I’ll be a super-coach to get you to the finish line via the most direct and satisfying route, guiding, cheering and providing some motivational Gatorade every step of the way!

Elections bring out the best and worst in people and politicians, especially in this contentious climate. But casting your vote in the broadest sense means that you are exercising your right to exist and participate in life.

I have a friend going through a major transition trying to figure out what to do next, how to reconcile his past and secure his future. He has been doing a lot of soul searching lately and excavating his talents, skills and passions. But in the process of shedding that old skin I suggested he let go of his action-oriented descriptions, saying “You need to decide who you want TO BE not what you want TO DO.”

I am always recommending that folks spend time in and learn from Nature because Nature just is. When talking about patience and process, my favorite saying is ‘the acorn does not become an oak tree overnight’. Also, remember that an acorn has the inherent DNA to become an oak tree – it doesn’t question it. It just allows itself to unfold and grow as it should, but will look and feel different at every stage of the process.

Many of my clients have recently been confronted with doing things or being with people that in the past they had bad experiences or simply didn’t like or enjoy, two, ten or fifteen years ago.  Like those old clothes in the closet that you’ve outgrown or perhaps bought but never wore, or that simply don’t suit you anymore – who you were then is not who you are now.

I have seen the transformations my clients have made.  Because they have done the work I know they will approach, interact and experience things in a vastly different way this time around, if only to show themselves that they have indeed changed.

So if you’re not quite sure if you’re an elm tree or an oak, or if you’re thinking about doing something you’ve been fearful of in the past, I can be like Christopher Lloyd’s time machine and help you go Back to the Future to dig around, let go of and adjust things to make your present the very best it can be.

With the advent of Halloween we are bombarded with spooky images and haunted houses to remind us it’s that time of year to face our deepest fears. But the majority of things that frighten us aren’t outside ourselves. Like the creepiness that comes from being in a House of Mirrors, what usually freaks people out most is seeing themselves multiplied a hundred times!

When in your own personal house of horrors, no matter how many cobwebs and shadows you find, know that we all have darker aspects of our personality and we’re never confronted with anything we can’t handle so we should never be afraid. Whether your fears and ugly parts are real or imagined, the key is not to run away from them. The only thing to do is to shed light on the source of our anxieties and perceived inadequacies, get to their roots and make adjustments that will bring us closer to the most fulfilled and peaceful versions of ourselves we can be.

And like the end of a scary movie, it comes down to you and only you to fight for your life.  There is no magic formula or genie in a bottle to come along, no Calgon or knight in shining armor to take you away. Taking responsibility for your life centers you in who you are and what you want – fantasy and illusion, or simply ignoring things move you farther away. It’s up to us to create our own happiness and what we want in our lives, and ask for help when we need it.

So if you need to do a little exorcising of your inner ghouls and goblins, who ya gonna call?  Like Ghostbusters or those meddling kids in Scooby-Doo I will expose and expel the real cause of your heebie-jeebies and things that go bump in the night so you can move forward and make the changes you need to be all of you are in the bright light of day!

The latest casualties in celebrity breakups – Courtney Cox & David Arquette, Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman, Ben Harper & Laura Dern to name a few – remind us that although things may look all bright and shiny on the outside, there is trouble in paradise.

Whether you have the paparazzi spotlight on you or not, this is the area of life we are most often challenged in, even if we excel at everything else. Because when it comes to relationships, it’s a jungle out there. Having realistic expectations of what we want and how to go about getting it is the key to navigating that often hostile and confusing environment.

The jungle image conjures up wild, primitive peoples, virgin (no pun intended) territories, poisonous plants and camouflaged predators. But the reality is that it can also contain a myriad of medicinal cures and infinite beauty and diversity – a place of healing, discovery and wonder.

Just like the mighty forest of the Amazon, we each contain secrets and gems within us….it might first take wielding a machete to clear away the brush before getting to a place where you can see the light of day, and your partner in that light. It takes work – honest communication and emotional elbow grease – to get to that place where you are totally naked, totally nude to just be, without the distractions, bells and whistles or ability to hide in the denseness of all that surrounds you.  That is the place where relationships must exist; all the rest is just gravy.

If and when you get to that stripped down place and can’t embrace yourself it will be much harder for your partner to. But if you have already uncovered and unearthed all your hidden and not so nice parts, and love and accept them unconditionally while trying to improve them, then you can enter into a relationship truly whole and ready to give to another in the same way.

So whether you are traveling solo, have a ‘plus one’ right now, or not quite sure what your status is on this expedition called life, give me a buzz and I will help lead you out of the heart of darkness and into the bright city lights.

In the year 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue…Whether or not you approve of the outcome of that fateful voyage of the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria, we can all learn from Columbus’ extreme act of faith and belief in himself when he left to explore a New World despite all odds.

Albert Einstein believed in intuition and inspiration, saying “Imagination is more important than knowledge”.  The greatest discoveries in the world are often based on hunches, on people with a vision and certain knowingness, and then moving forward with courage, determination and perseverance, they set out to prove it.  People may think you’re crazy, want to dissuade you, say your theories are wrong; even those closest to you who have the very best of intentions can only project their version of the truth and what they think is right.  But they simply may not understand, and at the end of the day, we must be the captain of our own ship.

Once you embark on that journey, you will always encounter stormy skies, dis-ease, and potential mutiny along the way, whether from external sources and naysayers or internal voices of doubt and despair from your ego trying to take over what your heart and gut knows to be true, without the proof and evidence yet in existence. But we must remain steady as she blows!

We each have an internal compass, our own personal North Star which may very well lead us on a different path from everyone around us or society as a whole.  We are unique beings, so only you know what’s right for you and ultimately the direction you want to be going in.  And if you’re wrong or it doesn’t work out the way you planned, at least you will have tried, and will learn and grow along the way. You may even find something better than what you originally envisioned…

So if you need a little adjustment of your internal GPS,  an experienced cartographer, or just some help handling what Mother Nature throws your way, give me a buzz and I’ll be the wind that gives lift to your sails, assists in navigating those uncharted waters and supports you in staying the course!

Although I am intrigued by the Wild West and love a good Jane Austen movie, I am always grateful that we live in a much more modern era.

One glaring difference of course is the way we communicate. In 1860 it took mucho dinero and ten days for the Pony Express to cross the country – a miracle feat at the time. Today, with little or no cost, we can send words, documents, letters and more for our recipients to see in mere seconds.

Women like Lizzie Bennet spent days, weeks or months on end waiting for a letter from their Darcys and it was the only form of communication they had if they were not in the same room with one another. In 2010 the ability to have those messages delivered almost instantly can accelerate the suffering or joy couples endured back then.

We can express ourselves and have relationships with others in a myriad of ways online that we would never have the opportunity or speed with which to do otherwise.  But as The Social Network writer Aaron Sorkin recently said: “Socializing on the Internet is to socializing what reality TV is to reality.” so we must use it wisely.

Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks made it work for them… But as in anything else,  with all the choices at our disposal, we need to be balanced in our communications diet. Writing can be preferable to talking for the clarity it contains when  time and thought has gone into it, and putting feelings – which are often the most difficult to convey- on ‘paper’  or in a image or song, can often carry more meaning in that form.  And sometimes you just need to pick up the phone.

So if you’re not sure what, when, where, why or how to say what you need to say or want to develop more of your offline relationships rather than online ‘friends’, just give me a buzz, and I will help you with the write stuff that truly delivers when you need it the most.

Last week New York City was buzzing with world leaders and dignitaries clogging up traffic and attending the UN General Assembly, where they came together to solve issues relating to peace and poverty.

When Lenny Kravitz came out with his anthem in 1989 the world was at once very different and exactly the same as it is now. The Cold War has been replaced by the War on Terror, the Middle East remains a mess, and there are still far too many people on the planet who live in the midst of hunger, disease and injustice.  Racism and religious bigotry are alive and well, and economies and the environment are in the tank.  Heavy sigh…when will we ever learn?

So what is little ole’ you to do? Well if as the saying goes, ‘peace begins with me’, then the question is, are you at war with yourself or with the people closest to you?

A loving relationship with yourself must come before you can be in one with another, or to even just get along with your family, neighbors or strangers on the subway.  We have to take the time and energy to forgive and love ourselves and others. It’s our responsibility to dig deep to see what is going on inside us, understand it and then have the courage to communicate honestly and lovingly first to ourselves, and then to those around us when appropriate.

Love is the most powerful force in the Universe when used intelligently and intentionally; it can move mountains, heal, connect and transform.

What are you waiting for?  There is no more important time than now to let love start ruling your world. Love of yourself, love of each other, love of your work, and love of life itself – the very breath and heartbeat that is allowing you to read this email.

So if you need a little mediation between your head and your heart, what you earn and what you’re worth, your desires and your reality, or you and your significant other, just give me a buzz and I’ll be the peacekeeping force that helps you reconcile all the conflict zones in your life and make love the law of the land!

At a recent and much overdue reflexology session with my friend Noga Kreiman, I tried to sum up the tumultuous happenings within and around me these past couple weeks that culminated in my visit to her.  As we looked out the window at the fallen trees in her Park Slope backyard she very aptly said,  “Sounds like you had your own personal tornado!”

Last week violent weather unleashed its power on much of the Northeast, with the NYC area hit pretty hard.  If you weren’t addressing the external collateral damage or power outages it caused, there’s a good chance you might have been dealing with some other sort of inner or outer turmoil in your life.

In times like these, it’s important to embrace the destruction and changes taking place, recognizing that often old structures and behaviors need to be demolished and uprooted in order for new ones to be rebuilt stronger and better. Don’t neglect whatever the eye of the storm, and its aftermath, are telling you to pay attention to.

We also need to ask for help when we need it, as difficult as it may be to admit and take that step to reach out. Staying isolated is a fast track into a downward spiral, just like a twister that touches down and in seconds wreaks arbitrary and unnecessary havoc.

So if you are a bit distressed, or feeling like Sting circa1979, don’t wait for a hundred billion bottles to wash ashore; simply give me a buzz, or send me an email message, and I’ll be that lifeline to bring you safely back to drier land and calmer skies.

There is a Yiddish saying a good friend used to quote to me often: Mentsch tracht, Gott lacht. Man plans, God laughs.

On my collage from our Visioning Workshop this past weekend, the renowned Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh more eloquently elaborates on this as: “People sacrifice the present for the future. But life is possible only in the present.”

Especially in this era of instant everything and a world of answers literally at our fingertips, one of the hardest things for us to do is live in that space where we don’t know what will happen next. With the unemployment rate at record highs, more and more people are learning the hard way how to experience life in this manner.

People in career transition, artists and freelancers have to operate without knowing where their next paycheck will be coming from.  People in new relationships are at often at sea in uncharted emotional waters.  Whenever we put ourselves in unfamiliar social territory or a take a trip to a place we’ve never been before we journey into the unknown – which is why it’s so important to travel, as it is one of the most natural ways to be in the present.

An easy way to add anxiety and stress in your life is to allow yourself to be overwhelmed with all the things you think you need to accomplish in the near or not so near future. The reality is that we can’t possibly know what tomorrow will bring so we might as well trust that the right decision or action today will lead you to where you need to go, even if you don’t know where you are ultimately going.

So when life is a big question mark, a blank slate, or if you find yourself in terra incognita, I can help you fill in the blanks and navigate your way through, or simply show you how to be where you are.  Give me a buzz and I will be the lighthouse in the fog, the compass in your pocket, to help guide you to your most authentic destination, in time and on time.