Archives for posts with tag: self reflection

My first job out of college was teaching Spanish for grades 7–11 at a private school in New Jersey. I started right before I turned 22. I left way before I turned 23.

Fast-forward many, many moons when I found myself in a high school classroom again, this time in one NYC public school’s ninth grade to talk about social media.

Don’t ask. Those of you who know me will find this laughable since I am a recovering technophobe who probably wouldn’t even be online if I didn’t kinda have to be for my type of work.

It all happened very quickly — I was asked on a Wednesday if I would start the first of six classes the following Monday, and without much thinking said yes, I guess because I trusted the person and wanted to see if I could now handle the critters that gave me so much grief way back when. Besides, I’ve been speaking/teaching for years, and I remember ninth grade being my favorite at the time, so why not? Social media? Apparently the entire curriculum would be provided, I just had to deliver it.

HAH! After the first day, with little to no preparation or training, it was like being thrown into a tank with 40 cranky sharks — what did I get myself into?!?! I held my own, but nearly quit. Other days it was like wrangling cats. But there were a few days of pure magic.

After surveying the students and finding out they spend nearly 100% of their free time on social media, I realized that a.) that’s the first problem, and b.) beyond the general predator and online reputation issues (along with their celebrity obsession), when looked at through the lens of cyberbullying and the associated psychological and physical tolls — as in murders and suicides — it quickly occurred to me that having them understand the proper and positive use of social media, texting and the internet could not be a more important and serious assignment…and that it was quite literally a matter of life and death. In other words, I realized that since they live most of their lives on social media, I was really there to teach them about life.

Aha! Now that made sense, because that is what I do for my day job. Let’s just say I tweaked the lesson plans I was provided.

It was an eye-opening experience to say the least. I could go on telling you how much I learned about kids, education, their future, our future, and the culpability of adults; the upsetting things I discovered about how our youth behave, what they think, what they do to each other; how they only care about being famous; how I tried in our short time together to turn some of those things upside down and instill them with completely new empowering ideas and perspectives (yes, the Golden Rule was one of the “new” concepts introduced after you could hear crickets when asked if anyone could tell me what it was); and how I held their attention with my knowledge of Justin Bieber (yes, I saw Never Say Never and was impressed — don’t laugh — it was relevant because of how he used YouTube to become famous, but he is/was extremely talented and worked hard even though he’s had some trouble lately…not to mention second highest amount of followers on Twitter etc.)

I know this is probably the first and only time some of these kids will hear about such things, and I’m pretty sure I reached at least a few who will now think a little differently about their lives and the consequences of their actions, both online and off. But I know for sure there was at least one who truly got it.

After the third lesson, which was the first on cyberbullying and the aforementioned wrangling cats day, I was caught off-guard when after class, a soft spoken but confident kid from the back of the room came up to me, shook my hand and said Miss, I just wanna let you know I really appreciate you.” He had me at appreciate! But he went on to say how disgusted he was with his classmates, that they weren’t taking this seriously and that he had been listening to a lot of Bob Marley lately and was looking for his purpose, how he wanted to be a leader and that today he found his calling.

STOP THE PRESSES. “Purpose” and “calling” were the exact words he used. I cannot make this up. And you can imagine to someone who does a talk called “Who Are You and What Are You Supposed to Be Doing with Your Life?” it was like winning the lottery.

My work was done, (or as my new colleague Karim goes: “Boom!” while gesturing the dropping of a mic and exiting stage left.) even if no one else got it and they did not listen to the next three lessons!

Junior (his actual nickname) and I talked about how he might accomplish such a mission, and I asked if he would like to start by talking to the class. Our final day together he did just that — the first time he ever spoke in front of a room! And he was an unlikely candidate to do so according to him and his teachers who say he’s not a great student, and he admittedly wasn’t even the best kid but recently had a change of heart — and my class helped to solidify and confirm his new direction. With no coaching from anyone, he spoke for almost 15 minutes about how his peers need to wake up and take life and education “fa real” and do something that helps others. I couldn’t have been more inspired and proud, as I know for anyone, especially at that age, to get up in such an environment and speak his truth was quite remarkable. It was one of the best days of my life.

I tell you all this because I did not do anything special — all I did was listen to my gut, show up, be myself and do my thing, which is all you can ever do, regardless of the context. You never know what the bigger plan is and how affecting just one person can make a huge difference.. The Universe knows what it’s doing — and what it had to do to get me in the same room with that 14-year-old boy was nothing short of a miracle.

Still not a Belieber? Whether you’re 15 or 51 you’re never too young or too old to take responsibility for your life, discover who you are and be confident enough to share it with the world. Give me a buzz and I’ll help you offer more than just a #Selfie to have a positive impact in the Twitterverse and beyond….

Today’s PGG was originally published on April 30, 2014

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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

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I am not a teacher, but an awakener. ~ Robert Frost

The dream begins, most of the time, with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you on to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called truth . ~ Dan Rather

Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher. ~ Japanese proverb

It’s that time of year when notebooks and knapsacks abound and all sorts of new beginnings and nerves are in the air, bringing the possibilities and excitement that arrive with the start of an academic year. Whether or not we find ourselves in an actual classroom this Fall, we are all students in this school called Life, which means that anyone and any situation can be our teacher, and education can come in all shapes and forms.

It is often those who are closest to us who teach us the exact lessons we never knew we needed (or wanted) to learn — either directly, like my six year old niece, who in her own words very calmly told my brother she wished he hadn’t found the prescription sunglasses he lost for the umpteenth time because he needed to learn to pay better attention to his personal possessions and the harsher consequences of their non-recovery; or indirectly, like a co-worker, friend or family member who likes to talk a lot forces you to be a better listener, have more patience and/or set boundaries.

And whatever “class” you are in, sometimes you must first fail miserably in order to then pass with flying colors, because you can’t learn anything without making a few mistakes, a little trial and error to perfect that which we need to master…. Hopefully you can figure out that the experience itself was the teacher, or have someone around to help glean what you need to learn and grow as a result. The good news is that you will never repeat a class when you’ve truly learned a lesson the hard way, and if you’re lucky, sometimes you can even have a teacher who helps you skip several grades.

Whether you think like Pink Floyd or feel like Lauryn Hill, learning is a lifelong process and everything serves its purpose in the bigger picture for you to graduate at the end of your life with honors.

So this September, be grateful for all those amazing teachers you’ve had both inside the classroom and out. Thank the role models, mentors and instructors who serve as great examples of achievement and inspiration as well as the challenging bosses, employees and clients, the bullies and mean girls, the tough coach, your current or ex-boy/girlfriend/partner/spouse, your pain in the neck big or little brother/sister, anyone who gave you a hard time, and especially those difficult “tests” you endured because they too helped form your character and are all opportunities to make you a better you.

Need to repeat (or stop repeating) a few classes or get a little tutoring to bring you closer to the grade you deserve? Give me a buzz and I’ll be sure you get a gold star or A+ on that project, because you can make your life much closer to a 4.0 than you could ever imagine!

Today’s PGG was originally published on September 6, 2011

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CLICK HERE FOR MY NEW MONTHLY ONLINE GATHERING CONNECTING WITH KRISTINA

* * * * * *

Click here or scroll down to learn more about my new book

Say It To Make It: Affirmations to Empower the Heart, Mind, Spirit and Soul

*Watch a fun video announcement for it here*

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CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG ENEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your inbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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It has always bothered me that most New Year’s resolutions seem to revolve around losing weight and getting in shape. Gyms especially bank on this, with classes and machines overflowing those first two weeks in January, only to slim down to those who have been going all along. The attrition is a perfect example of not heeding our internal ebb and flow, not to mention Spring being a much more natural time to make such changes. So don’t feel bad if this describes you!

Instead, why not think about detoxing and tuning up your mental and emotional diets, adjusting your atmosphere and exercising a more positive attitude toward yourself and others?

In 1981, the advent of something called Music Television (yes kids, that was MTV in the olden days) meant that Video Killed the Radio Star. Although the sentiment initially applied to the music industry, it has evolved to include our 24/7, multi-device-always-on entertainment/info news cycle, and delivery of much nonsense and nuttiness through a gazillion distribution channels both online and off.

The combination of media and technology is a powerful force that can either enhance or erode our humanity, but with the direction we’re going in, it seems like video has killed our sanity.

In a way, we’ve always been our own little radio towers with what we think and feel, but now we are literally transmitting these thoughts and feelings in a more tangible way with our gadgets and gizmos. What are you receiving and what are you broadcasting? How is it impacting your state of mind and mood?

What do you tune in to on a daily basis? Which intoxicating sights, sounds and stories infiltrate your being: cat videos, pundits, housewives, serial murders, frenemies? I admit I enjoy a little Mickey D’s now and then, but like Morgan Spurlock, remember what happens to you when you ingest that all day, every day. If we are what we eat (and we are), then we are what we read, watch and listen to as well.

In the smorgasbord of programming out there, the pickings are slim when it comes to nutrition. Whether TV or social media, strive for the majority of your consumption to be thoughtful, uplifting, educational and/or informative, and know that good comedy is actually medicine.

(P.S. I hear there are some quality series that exist — but it’s curious we’ve coined the term to “binge-watch” say, Game of Thrones or Breaking Bad. What does that do to your sensory digestive system? What kind of hangover would you have from that? How could you have used your time and energy in a more productive way? When you are cranky the next day, is it due to your emotions or Walter White’s?)

I am not anti-TV/media/technology. I say all things in moderation. The trick is to become conscious and not be spoon-fed whatever the suits and advertisers want us to eat! Try a TV fast and realize you’re not missing all that much. You’ll have time to sleep more, learn to cook or finally begin to meditate. It’s up to us to control our technology and not allow our technology to control us.

So if you’re dragging in the morning, think about what you watched on your screen the night before. If you can’t get any work done or fall asleep, how many hours did you allow yourself to be led astray via random Facebook or Twitter feeds? And what it is that you are creating or contributing with your Wi-Fi and widgets?

In an increasingly desensitized and distracted world, with so many folks feeling stuck, confused and frustrated in their career and life, and with so many searching for purpose and meaning, wanting to enjoy better health and relationships in their lives, we must constantly pull out the weeds of static in and around our thoughts and emotions in order to operate at a higher frequency and create the best environment for ourselves and others.

Much of what is on television and the Internet these days is white noise, so protect yourself with some radio silence. Not quite sure how to detach from the media madness? Give me a buzz — I’ll help you march to the beat of your own drum in harmony with the independent soundtrack of your soul and keep away the Karma Police, who are there to remind you that you always have a choice.

Today’s PGG was originally published on January 8, 2015

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Click here or scroll down to learn more about my new book

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*Watch a fun video announcement for it here*

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG ENEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your inbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin. ~ Matthew 6:28

Whatever occupies your mind the most becomes your god. Worries, if indulged, develop into idols. Anxiety gains a life of its own, parasitically infesting your mind. ~ Sarah Young

There is no need to seek the truth — just put a stop to your opinions! ~ Seng- Ts’an

I, like most humans, have my days of self-doubt and worry, lamenting about the past or catastrophizing the future, tying myself into all sorts of knots and getting into quite an unrelenting tizzy. However, because I practice what I preach and read what I have written, I have developed a certain level of self-awareness, self-regulation, trust and acceptance, so I don’t experience those kinds of days often. But when they do occur, boy are they doozies!

I have finally noticed, though, that when this happens, it’s pretty much always the same things that come up and cascade into a ridiculous (but not in the moment!) shame spiral, thinking I am worthless, I haven’t accomplished anything, I am all alone on this planet, etc., etc. I realized that when this happens, it’s like a switch is turned on that puts me into a very particular loop that keeps going round and round. And because it’s a loop with well-worn grooves, it’s hard to get out of and you feel like it’s reality. But it’s NOT. (BTW, this is basically a simplified version of established neuroscience …)

When such states arise, my go-to tools to release and get myself out of those conditions — like crying, movement, or sounding — don’t always cut it. When you’re dealing specifically with a deeply ingrained loop, what I discovered is that you can’t be gentle — you need to forcefully INTERRUPT THE LOOP. Just saying something like “NO, I’m interrupting the loop!” seems to work. You need to short-circuit that sh*you-know-what.

You have to be tough. Don’t be fooled by your mind with all the stories it’s making up, the judgments it has about you and others, the past it’s holding on to, the present it’s trying to control, and the future it thinks it can plan. They are all LIES!

So like my aforementioned “interrupting the loop” tactic, when these falsities and self-sabotaging stories come up, just emphatically say — out loud, with force (and maybe even a finger point) — LIES! LIES! LIES!

Yes, I realize this might sound and feel a bit odd, but if it works, who cares?! Sometimes our system needs a shock to get results and break out of a pattern. I would prefer to be the shock to my own system, thank you very much….

No matter what the scenario you are dealing with, be sure to remember your breathing, be present, tune in to Nature. A tree doesn’t complain, a bird doesn’t compare, a flower knows it will bloom and one day wither and die but thinks no less of itself at any point in the journey. None of them worry.

Trust yourself, the deepest part of yourself, which is connected to something greater than yourself. Do something every day to help access that more and more, as it takes effort, attention and practice — until it doesn’t.

We need these reminders often (well, at least I do!) to discern what is true and what is false about ourselves and the world around us. Remember who you are.

Not sure how to separate the wheat from the chaff in that mischievous mind of yours? Give me a buzz and I’ll help call out the lies and liberate you from your loop, so you can become that beautiful, peaceful, loving lily you were born to be.

Today’s PGG was originally published on June 11, 2021

* * * * *

CLICK HERE FOR MY NEW MONTHLY ONLINE GATHERING CONNECTING WITH KRISTINA

* * * * * *

Click here or scroll down to learn more about my new book

Say It To Make It: Affirmations to Empower the Heart, Mind, Spirit and Soul

*Watch a fun video announcement for it here*

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG ENEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your inbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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As someone who is pretty dyslexic, I often switch prefixes and mash up my words when writing and speaking. When talking to a good friend who was feeling very scattered and exhausted, I somehow came out with the word “mentical” when observing how she was mentally disconnected from her physical body. It seemed to be a perfect way to describe the “dis-ease” that a lot of 21st century urbanites suffer from, and we immediately adopted it into our vocabulary. And then I told her: A walk in the woods is a way to mitigate the mentical.

[Three years ago] after spending many hours in a hospital with my mom over a two-month period, I knew what I needed to do to get rid of the accumulated “ick” from such an environment, and headed to a nearby nature preserve. I felt the benefits in five minutes! It was as if I had dipped myself in some magic potion; I came out refreshed, healed and cleansed.

Several years ago, I gave as homework to one of my clients, an African-American woman, to go spend some time exploring and journaling deep in a woodsy park. She looked at me as if I had two heads and said, “You know Black folk don’t hike…?!” I laughed and of course didn’t care, and she wisely heeded the assignment. She is now an avid fan of the activity, and has even influenced many in her circle to try it as well.

However this is not about hiking per se, in the very athletic sense of climb difficulty and the views as a reward, etc. It’s about letting the energy of those deep-green leaves absorb any negative mental, emotional, physical and spiritual vibes within and around us, and letting us take in some good ones from them. It’s purely alchemical.

Most people flock to the beach in the summer. I’ve always headed for the trees. At least in the Northeast, this is the time of the year when they are the most lush and verdant. They are at their peak of healing juiciness, and they call out to me big time!

As usual, science finally caught up with and has now “proved” what I and others have known intuitively and have been doing for eons; I was thrilled to come across this article, which justified my cure to me and others of spending time in the woods. Apparently the Japanese have coined the term “forest bathing,” and put some explanation and studies behind what I simply considered common sense and what made me feel good; now it is being used as preventive medicine as well as treatment for asthma, depression and other ailments! I bow and thank you for affirming my “homework,” Japan.

I have come to find the practice even more necessary these days with our increasing dependence on electronic devices — who knows what stuff they are emitting and what WiFi is really doing to us mentally and physically. Remember that plants and trees suck the carbon dioxide out of the air and increase the oxygen — for us city folk we need as much clean fresh air as we can get. Especially if you have been spending a lot of time in hospitals, airports, and/or inhabit the concrete jungle, it’s the perfect antidote to erratic energy, as well as recycled, conditioned and even toxic air.

Once you get yourself to a park, preserve or forest, the first thing to do is express gratitude. Think about how the trees and plants are always there, evolving, growing, moving toward life, no matter what they’re handed or how much they suffer — they remain steadfast in supporting and healing us. By giving thanks, perhaps we can counteract some of the abuse we humans have doled out! I generally recommend going alone, or with just a few close friends/partners who “get it.” Take deep breaths and move slowly. Be grateful for the miracle that is Mother Earth. Visualize and feel the trees like a filter absorbing all the guck in us at that moment. Let yourself be grounded and feel any stress, worry or disease be released from your mental, physical and emotional bodies.

If you can’t get to an actual forest, perhaps your gym’s tread mills have one of those virtual videos courses so you can feel as if you are — now this does not give you any of the alchemical benefits I’ve mentioned above, however it is still good for meditation purposes so hey it’s better than nothing!

The beach can be the bomb in a different way when it comes to healing too so listen to your body and hear what it’s asking for. Y

ou probably don’t need to go to the extreme like Reese/Cheryl in order to your reclaim your soul and sanity, but if you’re not sure about the who, what, why and where of your personal Nature Rx, give me a buzz. I’ll be the forest ranger in the Pharrell hat that points you in the right direction, reminds you to take it all in, and will be there should you get lost on the trail.

Today’s PGG was originally published on June 9, 2018

* * * * *

CLICK HERE FOR MY NEW MONTHLY ONLINE GATHERING CONNECTING WITH KRISTINA

* * * * * *

Click here or scroll down to learn more about my new book

Say It To Make It: Affirmations to Empower the Heart, Mind, Spirit and Soul

*Watch a fun video announcement for it here*

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG ENEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your inbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Read over 100 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

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While walking down the street after a bizarre week of odd “coincidences” and uncanny timings, I happened to look up and notice the announcement board of a synagogue with this quote by feminist/activist/author Robin Morgan, “Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible.”

One definition of the word absurd is “inconsistent with reason or logic or common sense,” which means that any decisions or actions deemed as such perhaps come from a place that we can’t always understand, but know is from somewhere deep within us.

Our most popular presidents had a bit of that going on…George Washington’s advisors seriously questioned his determination to cross the frozen Delaware, and he intuitively knew how to present himself as a leader for this new country; Abraham Lincoln’s life is filled with examples of how he went against conventional wisdom and popular opinion. Both men defied the odds by listening to their own conscience, inner voice and moral compass, and because of that became the great men we honor today.

Part of maturing is learning how to trust your own gut despite any outside influences. While it can be helpful to get advice, when we are honest with ourselves, we are usually our own best counsel. Others might not know who we really are or may not have our best interests at heart. And I’m sure we can all remember times when we’ve dealt with the consequences of not heeding the wisdom of our gut.

My guess is that Adam Sandler trusts his intuition as to what his audience thinks is funny or not regardless of what the Hollywood suits might say, and from his start back in the SNL days, he expressed a unique kind of silly humor that had yet to be considered commercially viable. Well, we all know how that turned out!

When I meet with clients, often I am simply validating and confirming what they already know themselves but were too embarrassed, in denial, doubtful or repressed about to pursue or even admit.

If when a complete stranger in less than two hours, without you specifically divulging it, tells you that the ‘crazy’ idea you have, that thing you always wanted to do, the life that you always dreamed of, is exactly the direction you should be going in based on the dots I’ve connected, Just Go With It — it’s the green light you’ve been waiting for to produce that smash box office hit starring none other than YOU!

Today’s PGG was originally published on February 22, 2011

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August is my Anniversary month!

Work with me one-on-one at a significantly reduced fee of just $150 for a one hour phone session to celebrate my 15th year as a coach.

++Only 15 slots available, book yours today!++

* * * * *

CLICK HERE FOR MY NEW MONTHLY ONLINE GATHERING CONNECTING WITH KRISTINA

* * * * * *

Click here or scroll down to learn more about my new book

Say It To Make It: Affirmations to Empower the Heart, Mind, Spirit and Soul

*Watch a fun video announcement for it here*

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG ENEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your inbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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I recently read that “a person’s success in life can usually be measured by the amount of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.”

Many people begin the year by starting a new exercise or other routine that can have them feeling sore or out of sorts, and doing this with your patterns of interaction and communication can also reap rewards. Like any muscle, growth happens outside of your comfort zone.

Maybe that uncomfortable conversation needs to be with your boss, that contact for your dream gig, your partner, a parent, your neighbor, that cute guy/girl you’ve been eyeing, that celebrity you’d love to talk with, or just putting yourself in a foreign social situation. But it’s also that honest conversation you need to have with yourself in order to face the reality of your life as it is versus the way you’d like it to bebecause the one common denominator in your life is YOU, and taking responsibility for why it is the way it is is paramount, if not always pleasant.

The good news is that by chatting with yourself on a regular basis, you can know what changes you need to make to move your life closer to your ideal!

Not quite feeling it? I say, “Fake it till you make it” and remind you that, like Einstein said, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

So if things aren’t going your way, why not try a slightly different approach from your usual MO? Or you can go whole hog and be like George Costanza in the Seinfeld episode where he does the exact opposite of what he would normally do, to some hilarious effects and success!

So this year resolve to have those challenging conversations, not care what people think, try new things without worrying whether you’ll look foolish, stand out in a crowd, and be OK with not being perfect. (Well, those were some of mine… just insert whatever makes you uncomfortable!)

Wondering how to get from here to there? Give me a buzz and I’ll be your personal trainer to stretch those inner muscles, help you have that heart-to-heart with yourself, and make your discomfort as comfortable as possible along the way!

Today’s PGG originally published on January 4, 2011

August is my Anniversary month!

Work with me one-on-one at a significantly reduced fee of just $150 for a one hour phone session to celebrate my 15th year as a coach.

++Only 15 slots available, book yours today!++

* * * * *

CLICK HERE FOR MY NEW MONTHLY ONLINE GATHERING CONNECTING WITH KRISTINA

* * * * * *

Click here or scroll down to learn more about my new book

Say It To Make It: Affirmations to Empower the Heart, Mind, Spirit and Soul

*Watch a fun video announcement for it here*

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG ENEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your inbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Read over 100 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

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Sometimes the weather affects our mood, and other times it reflects our mood. It’s been unusually gloomy in New York this week, and that seems to be how many people are feeling these days as the overall fatigue, stress and uncertainty of our current crisis continue to weigh upon us (now over seven months in, with no significant relief in the near future), and the contentious battle for who gets to run our country, at least for the next four years, is nearing the finish line.

From my perspective, these are the times when, like Beyonce, you make lemonade. When life serves you lemons or just feels a bit sour, go ahead and squeeze those lemons, or surrender to the squeezing you’re experiencing in life — after which you can add (or will simply feel) some sweetness (i.e., a burden is lifted, you find a liberating solution or do something fun!) and find yourself refreshed and uplifted as a result.

In other words, instead of suffering under or trying to avoid the squeeze, EMBRACE it by seeing what it’s trying to get out of you: What illumination, release and insights can come of the pressure, malaise, anxiety or fear? What are you being asked to understand, change or reveal to yourself and/or to others? This takes some mental and emotional elbow grease through self-reflection, which could involve a little heavy-duty butt-shaking to some rockin’ funky tunes — thank you, Beyonce — in order to expel that energy and/or bring out the aha feelings that will get you unstuck.

That last bit is especially effective if you’re feeling blah or frustrated, or maybe even angry or enraged. The energy needs to get out. Those of you who attended my Self Care in the Midst of Sea Change Talk (encore presentation coming mid-November!) know that dance/movement is just one of the tools I mention. The bottom line is that we have to confront and make the best of this time and use it as the productive, albeit challenging, opportunity it presents. The more of us who do this, the better off we will come out on the other side, as I talk about in this essay, as well as here, here, or here.

Therefore, in the days ahead, become a detective and keep excavating to get to the root of your sour stuckness (or hire me as your Sherlock Holmes 😉. A major clue is always in how you feel about or treat yourself, as everything follows from there. The absence of self-worth, imho, is the real pandemic in our society, so what can you do to connect more with the innermost part of yourself and really acknowledge, accept and love who you are?

Another powerful tool is gratitude, so if you don’t already have a practice of acknowledging things to be grateful for every day, now would be a good time to start. And expressing your appreciation to others can make all the difference in someone’s life, especially right now, as we all need our spirits lifted as much as possible. You can watch my thoughts about this particular point on IGTV or YouTube, and see this Instagram post or this one for some examples 🙂

For more inspiration and motivation, you can check out this video about why we need to be kind and compassionate with ourselves, and this Instagram post reminds you the smallest things can make the biggest impact. For something a little more in-depth about my thoughts on personal growth, communication and healing, check out this podcast-style interview with Rick Young of What’s in Your Hand Radio Show.

Today’s PGG was originally published on October 27, 2020

Click here to learn more about my new book

Say It To Make It: Affirmations to Empower the Heart, Mind, Spirit and Soul

*Watch a fun video announcement for it here*

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG ENEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your inbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Read over 100 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

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Well, we’re still here. And although the Apocalypse did not occur on May 21, we are experiencing a type of end of days – or at least era – with The Oprah Show shutting down after 25 years! How am I going to exercise my tear glands and release oxytocin on a regular basis now??

Fanatic follower or not, you can’t deny that Oprah Winfrey has used her platform for educational and inspirational purposes with class and dignity, affecting millions all over the world in a positive way; she’s been an oasis in a TV landscape filled with Jerry Springers, Jersey/Atlanta/NYC/Mob Wives and a million CSIs and Law & Order’s.

One of Oprah’s “mandates” is to live your best life. The great thing about the end of days prophecy was that, although a joke to many, it perhaps for a minute forced us think about what we would like to do before our final day arrives, whether it is by mass destruction or natural causes. 

Acknowledging the inevitability of death can be a powerful motivator, and if you’ve ever heard me speak, you know my mantra is “Your time and energy are your most precious resources.” So the question is: What are you doing with the breath, pulse and intelligence you possess while you still have it?

Another thing Oprah always talks about is the universal wisdom of being present, of living in the moment. Most people can spend days, months and years regurgitating the past or worrying about the future, which is one of the biggest wastes of that precious time and energy. It’s a delicate dance that requires deep discipline and profound love of life to “live each day as if it were your last” and to know that “there’s no time like the present.”

What will always snap us back to these truisms, at least temporarily, is the instant devastation we observe or experience like in the recent tornadoes, volcanoes and earthquakes, violent acts, or even simple accidents – recognizing that our physical belongings at the least, and our physical bodies at the worst, can literally be wiped out in a heartbeat.

The good news and reality is more likely that we are indeed coming to The End of the World as We Know It – and perhaps that’s not such a bad thing, you might even feel fine…But if you’re sensing a little too much doom in your days, give me a buzz and I’ll help with the uplifting of your spirit -while allowing you to remain here on the planet – so you can make the most of who you are every minute of every day!

Today’s PGG was originally published on May 24, 2011

Click here to learn more about my new book

Say It To Make It: Affirmations to Empower the Heart, Mind, Spirit and Soul

*Watch a fun video announcement for it here*

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG ENEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your inbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Read over 100 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

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I have seen the truth

It is not as though I had invented it with my mind.

I have seen it, SEEN IT, and the living image of it has filled my soul forever…

If in one day, one hour, everything could be arranged at once.

THE CHIEF THING IS TO LOVE.

~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

There is wisdom that says that we operate from either fear or love. With all the fear pumped into us from birth, and which seems to be ratcheting up these past few years and now weeks (and is easily absorbed via powerful media in every form), it’s more important than ever to pay attention to and see what is influencing your thoughts, words and deeds: LOVE or FEAR.

As I mentioned in this recent essay, Albert Einstein suggested we need to address the world’s problems from a different level of consciousness than what created them. Therefore, with so much external “noise” coming at us from every which way — most of it on the fear side — it will take a lot of self-awareness, constant observation and conscious choice to live and act from a place of love.

If you don’t like or relate to the word love, perhaps use the word “unity” since love is the glue that holds us all together. (You could also use connection, peace, trust…). And if you don’t want to think of the word fear, use “separation,” since that is what is used to divide and conquer. (You could also think of it as other, discordance or division.)

So as you go through your day, think about how you are feeling and interacting with yourself, others and life itself. How much are you focusing your energy on and/or have intentions that are based in fear instead of love … and might not even realize it! As a guide, here are just some of the things that fall under each category:

Love includes abundance, joy, coherence, beauty, health, well-being.

Fear includes lack, anxiety, stress, anger, blame, worry, disease.

Where does your energy and attention tend to dwell or act from? It can be super-insidious and you might not even realize it, which is why I always tell my clients and attendees to spend some time with themselves each day for self-reflection, which helps build and strengthen that observer muscle.

Remember, as I mention in my book Say It To Make It, what we focus on grows, so after reviewing the above lists, do you live in mostly in love or in fear?

And when it comes to relationships, I’ll never forget the aha that went off years ago when I heard spiritual teacher and author Gary Zukav say that two people can’t get love from each other, but they can “swim in it together.” That is great advice for couples, but what if we extend that concept to everyone?

Can we look at everyone as if they are our lover (a la the poet Rumi), knowing that we are all swimming in a sea of love together? That might sound a bit much — but extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures, and humanity needs to get their you-know-what together ASAP!

This is was a big insight that came to me earlier this week (hello, full moon!) … I’ve started using it already and find that it helps; it definitely softens the edges of all interactions or situations with others, whether friends, family or out in public.

I also see the image of swimming in a sea of love with humanity as more of a state of BEING, not DOING. It removes fear-based boundaries and puts us on the same underwater wavelength, regardless of any external identifiers. It helps us to think of love as a flow state; flowing in the energy with others, remembering that we all come from the same primordial stuff, yet working, creating and interacting with one another’s unique expression in this ocean of life.

Of course we need to be practical and recognize there are some unique expressions that we may not want to swim with and need real protection from, but they are few and far between. Most people just need healing and some TLC, which is why I think if you do this kind of visualization more and more, you will see less of those less-than-loving people in your life, or at least they will be acting up less.

And as I’ve previously mentioned, because we all exist in the same what I’ve called “soup,” we all have a profound effect on each other whether you realize it or not. The interesting thing for me is that even though I’ve called it “soup,” which is a liquid, I’ve always conceptualized it as energy, atmosphere, air. I am excited by this new version of it as WATER — which represents EMOTION, which is what Love is, hence the palpability of it.

With this image, it’s easier to see how every move we make sends out ripples that touch everyone. No one is exempt from feeling them, but the closer you are, the stronger and more pronounced those ripples will be.

And with so much of our modern lives operating on the mental level through screens, we are increasingly pushed to be more disconnected with our bodies and emotions. This is also why imagining humanity swimming in a sea of love is a good sensory feeling to keep handy and revisit over and over as you move through your day, or in any meditations you might do.

It has now become my go-to image whenever I start to feel fear or any of the emotions associated with it. And if you are actually in the ocean or a pool, it would be a great visualization to do while you are physically in it! You can also visualize everyone being in a sea of love when you are in (or see) big crowds like at a baseball game or concert, or even on an airplane or when sitting in traffic …

Another thing that Einstein said was, “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” We are powerful, creative beings who contribute to the reality we are experiencing far more than we know. So let’s all imagine swimming in this sea of love together … Wouldn’t you prefer to live in a sea of love rather than a world of fear? And remember: When you live from love, nothing that comes from love can harm you.

Feeling a little trepidatious to dip your toes in with me? Give me a buzz and I’ll help you become someone who says, Come on in, the water’s fine! Because the more of us who jump in fully, the better the world will be.

* * * * *

CLICK HERE FOR MY NEW MONTHLY ONLINE GATHERING

CONNECTING WITH KRISTINA

Click here or scroll down to learn more about my new book

Say It To Make It: Affirmations to Empower the Heart, Mind, Spirit and Soul

*Watch a fun video announcement for it here*

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG ENEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your inbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Read over 100 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

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