We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves. — Dalai Lama

He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I was recently asked by an attendee at one of my talks, “Are you happy?” It was the first time I had been so directly posed that question, and it took a minute to figure out how I would answer, because for me, happiness is not a state of being; it’s a superficial feeling, a temporary, descriptive way to express a reaction to a gesture, creature comfort or occasion.

I answered by saying I don’t really think about being “happy” but am generally able to navigate life in a way that does not fluster me at my core. In other words, my overall evaluation of my existence does not depend on whichever way the wind is blowing. At this point in my life, I am grounded in and connected to who I am, surfing the unpredictability and chaos of external circumstances as they arise, experiencing joy and pleasure when appropriate, and mitigating the inevitable stress and sorrow with various tools and techniques I have gathered and developed to get me through when times are not so hunky-dory (there are plenty!).

And I am grateful for it all, as I know in the end whatever is happening is for my greater good.

I do work that is immensely fulfilling and have relationships I value tremendously. I am constantly growing and evolving by overcoming challenges big and small, and I allow myself to rest and reflect until another cycle begins. I am human, therefore I strive to understand and accept everything that entails.

I have my own issues and areas of growth and healing that call out to be addressed; I feel my feelings and give them the space, time and respect to inform me of what has to be confronted or released, either internally or externally in a particular situation, and then heed the call to the best of my ability. I pay attention to and take care of my needs. I go with the flow. I recognize and honor the fact that I am a creative being. I love and trust myself.

It was a long answer to what appeared to be a simple question. The next day, upon further reflection, I realized the simple answer: What I was saying was that I am at peace, which is far more profound. Or put another way, having a sense of inner peace = my version of being happy.

With all the emphasis and research in our current culture on “happiness” — an obsession only magnified and distorted by social media — you can be easily fooled into thinking you are somehow deficient in this department. The better question to ask yourself is “Am I at peace?” Happiness is great while it lasts, but that’s the point — it’s transient. Yet with awareness, practice and discipline over time, peace can be permanent.

Peace allows you to be the calm in the center of a storm, and the glow of joy in the midst of abundance.

Peace acknowledges that there are ups and downs and stresses in life, but it never lets you be affected by them in the deepest part of who you are.

Peace means even in times of anxiety or fear, you are just observing surface feelings that wreak havoc on your psyche until you recognize what they are trying to teach you — which is usually an exercise in love and acceptance of yourself and the here and now and/or what you can and cannot control.

Peace is the solid foundation that becomes integrated in every cell of your being and accompanies you with whomever and wherever you are.

As the great Mahatma Gandhi said, “Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.”

I often quote the song, “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.” It may be too hippy-dippy or cliche for you, but it’s true. As I say in my talks, we all have our individual spheres of influence, i.e., “happy wife, happy life.” We all know how it feels to be around someone in a good mood, who’s truly relaxed, maybe just back from a vacation or in love, or one of those rare folks who just embodies a sustained level of chill and contentment. Conversely, when someone is really down, toxic, or generally negative in outlook, we know how that can permeate the entire environment.

Emotional energy and good or bad vibes are contagious — especially to those of us who are highly sensitive. You must realize then that no matter who you are, you have more influence than you think you do. Who do you want to be: someone who brings peace, calm and/or joy wherever you go or in times of crisis, or the Debbie or Dougie Downer, the Negative Nelly or Neil, the one who poisons the atmosphere around you? Here’s where you don’t need a special superpower or fancy costume to be a hero!

Train yourself to be mindful of what you are putting out there or carrying with you; go inward to listen to yourself instead of automatically focusing outward to distraction or detachment. Express gratitude wherever you can in thought, word and deed. Bring your awareness and attention to every moment, to what are you thinking, feeling and sensing about the truth and reality of the situation AS IT IS — not as you are doomsday-ing it to be or wishing it was or regurgitating some imagined past version of a problem — because today’s realization is what creates tomorrow’s solution.

The more you can Be Here Now, the more you can exercise that presence muscle, the deeper the well of peace you can draw upon when you need it most.

Have you been crying lately, Thinkin’ about the world as it is? As I have often said, especially in these tumultuous times, each of us has a responsibility to create “peace in our piece of the pie.” What are you doing to contribute? ’Cause out on the edge of darkness, There rides a Peace Train.

Want to get all aboard but not sure how? Give me a buzz, and I’ll be the conductor who puts you on the right track. We’ll fire up the steam engine and get you smiling on a regular basis, thinking about the good things to come!

Today’s PGG was originally posted on May 23, 2017

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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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I am not a teacher, but an awakener. ~ Robert Frost

The dream begins, most of the time, with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you on to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called truth . ~ Dan Rather

Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher. ~ Japanese proverb

It’s that time of year when notebooks and knapsacks abound and all sorts of new beginnings and nerves are in the air, bringing the possibilities and excitement that arrive with the start of an academic year. Whether or not we find ourselves in an actual classroom this Fall, we are all students in this school called Life, which means that anyone and any situation can be our teacher, and education can come in all shapes and forms.

It is often those who are closest to us who teach us the exact lessons we never knew we needed (or wanted) to learn — either directly, like my six year old niece, who in her own words very calmly told my brother she wished he hadn’t found the prescription sunglasses he lost for the umpteenth time because he needed to learn to pay better attention to his personal possessions and the harsher consequences of their non-recovery; or indirectly, like a co-worker, friend or family member who likes to talk a lot forces you to be a better listener, have more patience and/or set boundaries.

And whatever “class” you are in, sometimes you must first fail miserably in order to then pass with flying colors, because you can’t learn anything without making a few mistakes, a little trial and error to perfect that which we need to master…. Hopefully you can figure out that the experience itself was the teacher, or have someone around to help glean what you need to learn and grow as a result. The good news is that you will never repeat a class when you’ve truly learned a lesson the hard way, and if you’re lucky, sometimes you can even have a teacher who helps you skip several grades.

Whether you think like Pink Floyd or feel like Lauryn Hill, learning is a lifelong process and everything serves its purpose in the bigger picture for you to graduate at the end of your life with honors.

So this September, be grateful for all those amazing teachers you’ve had both inside the classroom and out. Thank the role models, mentors and instructors who serve as great examples of achievement and inspiration as well as the challenging bosses, employees and clients, the bullies and mean girls, the tough coach, your current or ex-boy/girlfriend/partner/spouse, your pain in the neck big or little brother/sister, anyone who gave you a hard time, and especially those difficult “tests” you endured because they too helped form your character and are all opportunities to make you a better you.

Need to repeat (or stop repeating) a few classes or get a little tutoring to bring you closer to the grade you deserve? Give me a buzz and I’ll be sure you get a gold star or A+ on that project, because you can make your life much closer to a 4.0 than you could ever imagine!

Today’s PGG was originally posted on September 6, 2011

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

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Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

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Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell studied highly successful people and came up with the theory that applying 10,000 hours of dedicated practice was required to perfect a skill or master a field. He talks about how the Beatles played hundreds of concerts in Germany before they performed on The Ed Sullivan Show, Bill Gates had access to computers years before most, and Tiger Woods was swinging a golf club from the age of 3.

I have also read how Beyoncé was singing and dancing in heels since she was around 10, and heard Meghan Trainor talk about writing something like 2,000 songs before making it big. And what about those Olympic athletes? How many breaststrokes or backflips did Michael Phelps or Simone Biles have to do before winning their gold medals?

Whether the 10,000 Hours rule is accurate or not, it speaks to dedicating yourself to your work, your craft, your art or sport in a serious way over a significant and consistent period of time. With our 24/7 world of distraction and superficiality, it has become increasingly difficult to focus and commit oneself to anything — whether it is a career path, a specific skill or habit you want to develop, a new relationship, or reading an actual book or even full-length article!

In the big picture, however, the most important commitment you can make is to yourself. Knowing, accepting and loving who you are and knowing the cycles of personal growth and TIME it takes to become your very best in order to maximize your potential and prosperity — this is the root of all the other commitments. If you have done that, only then can you think about and be successful in what specifically you want to “practice” as part of the journey.

What can you commit (or have you been committing) 10,000 hours to right now? This can, of course, change as your life grows and evolves.

Over the past few months I’ve been feeling like I’ve hit a turning point in my work with clients and, thinking about this concept, wondering if perhaps I’ve hit my 10,000 hours. Then on Monday, LinkedIn reminded me it was my 9-year (?!) anniversary [NOTE: As of 8/17/21 is 14 years …] as a professional coach. I really didn’t know what I was doing or what I should call myself when I started back then, and I have no formal training or certifications, but hundreds of you have trusted me over these years with the honor of helping you get unstuck and on the right track with your career and life, and in turn that has fulfilled me in mine.

I have always approached my work in a very organic way, and the title that currently seems to fit is holistic career coach. My ability to quickly and accurately assess and advise clients about who they are and what they should be doing with their lives has blossomed more than I could have imagined, yet at the same time, deep down I trusted it would evolve in a way that would best serve those who sought my services.

That, in and of itself, has been an interesting journey for me, and the results are reflected in the feedback I have received. Here is some of the most recent:

The 30 minutes we spent discussing my general career malaise and concern over what to do next were infinitely more helpful than the hours I’ve spent discussing this with other people in my life.

By the end of the conversation, I had an actionable plan, a timeline and confidence to invest in myself that I’ve never had before.

Her questions really got me thinking and she made me aware that some of my goals were not actually out of reach but with hard work could be obtained.

After the session I felt so empowered and revved up, I felt like I was ready to take on the world! — and I still do. Kristina really listened and provided insightful feedback to get my life back or going in a more positive direction that will ultimately make me happier.

My hour with Kristina felt more like a therapy session than a career coaching session, but it turns out that is exactly what I needed!

She’s great at identifying the root cause of a problem (even when you think you might have had the answer to begin with) … I can tell you after about 20 minutes of her asking all the right questions, she wrapped everything up for me in a nice package in the final minutes and BAM I had a breakthrough.

I have a new focus for my career, and I will continue to leverage her knowledge in order to find that perfect job!

I came away feeling empowered, more confident about who I am as a job seeker and more aware of my strengths.

After working with Kristina for over a year and landing my dream job, I can say that I feel joy with every dollar I earn.

She’s not going to tell you what you want to hear, she’s going to tell you what you NEED to hear. A great listener and motivator. Time and money well spent.

And how timely that just this past Friday, right before my anniversary, I received an email out of the blue from someone with whom I did only a half-hour session weeks ago with this simple one-liner message:

Kristina, Thanks for giving me a new look on life.

What could be a better job than that? :)))

A great big THANKS goes out to all of you who have ever worked with me — your trust and faith in my abilities has allowed me to put in my 10,000 hours and I never would have gotten this far or been able to do work that I absolutely love and suits me best without your support. I look forward to working with many more of you over the next 10 years and beyond!

Today’s PGG was originally posted on August 17, 2017

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

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Read over 100 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself

When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure. ~ Peter Marshall

[S]ometimes life gets to be too much all at the same time, and as another PGG says, Something’s Gotta Give. The good news is that these times are always temporary.

When I was in Tunisia during Ramadan a few years ago, our guide could not eat or drink the entire day while he was educating us about the history and architecture of his country and taking care of all our needs. When I expressed my concern for him working under such conditions, he replied in the calmest, most Zen way, which only a person who is fasting while working 10–12 hours a day in the heat and could say, “There are no problems, only opportunities.”

Between the extreme summer temperatures, the public pressure felt from the debt ceiling and other world problems, the many decisions and twists of fate that have been thrown my way — all while trying to throw a celebration of the last ten years of my life — have been an exercise in self-worth, focus and discipline. Let’s just say a few of my carbon atoms have definitely transformed into diamonds, or at least crystallized!

I’ve chosen a journey that includes many challenging situations, having to prove myself and my tenacity, putting everything I preach into practice, be able to turn on a dime, process things quickly and ask for help. I’ve been getting quite the workout, that’s for sure, and have felt like a ninja warrior most recently, but am so grateful, as I am stronger and better for having gone through it all.

Feeling a little Under Pressure yourself? Give me a buzz and I can show you how to walk through the fire and become a lean, mean, diamond-making machine. We’ll figure out what the heck and why and what the benefit of all that was — knowing everything happens in time and on time to keep you going and growing in the direction to become the mighty oak that you are!

Today’s PGG was originally posted on August 10, 2011

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CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG ENEWSLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your mailbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!  

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today. 

Click here for some testimonials from past clients 

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts.  Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

Click here to watch video

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Read over 100 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

Join Mailing List

Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

All Roads, Same Place | And Now, A Word from Our Sponsor | Strong Medicine | 10,000 Hours | A Decade of Doing What I Do | Express Yourself