Archives for posts with tag: self awareness

Truth No. 2

February 11, 2022 //

Tell me what’s wrong with having a little faith in what you’re feelin’ in your heart. ~ The Dixie Chicks (via Patty Griffin)

I try not to think as much as possible. This serves me well for many reasons. First of all, I am somewhat dyslexic, so the more I stay out of my head, the clearer things are for me. And forget about speaking; whenever I do my seminars what I say has to come from my heart and gut, otherwise I would get super-confused and choke from stage fright and the fear of sounding stupid.

I have learned to operate this way more and more; it reduces stress by keeping me connected to myself and in the flow of life, in harmony with who I am and what I need or want at any given moment. It is the best motivational, decision-making and communications tool I possess, because I have harnessed and developed it as such.

In the movie Jerry Maguire, Tom Cruise confronts Cuba Gooding, Jr. about why he has not yet been offered a $10 million dollar contract, citing that the way he is off the field is how he needs to be on the field. “You play with your head, not your heart. in your personal life? Heart….Play the game, play it from your heart and you know what, I will show you the kwan. That’s the truth man, can you handle it?” Jerry knew that if Rod did what he loved with love, then, and only then, would he be able to show him the money.

And that doesn’t just hold true in the movies. Steve Tisch, a proud owner of the NY Giants, declared that the key to their big victory this past weekend was that they ” …played with more heart, more passion, and more love for each other and for the game of football.” Does that negate, replace, or even diminish all the hard work, training, strategy, talent and skill necessary to achieve such great heights? No, of course not. But it’s the thing that will make the difference between a good team and a great team, a good life and a great one.

Most of us are taught to live by our heads, logic and ego, not by our hearts and guts. But only when we listen to our hearts and put love into everything are we our most authentic selves, which means living our truth. And when we are living our truth, we can then more easily speak our truth, and stand in our truth. And that is the best way to guarantee peace and prosperity in our lives, no matter what the circumstances.

Million dollar contract, Lombardi Trophy or not, we are all players the Super Bowl of Life — so are you playing with your head or your heart?

Give me a buzz and I’ll make sure that unlike Tom Cruise in his confrontation with Jack Nicholson, you can indeed handle the truth and start living in alignment with who you are and what you want to make happen both on the field and off!

Today’s PGG was orginally published on February 7, 2012.

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Check out this very-roughly-edited-not-the-best-quality video of uninterrupted remarks wrapping up the workshop “Lead Yourself to Success (in Work & Life!)” In this excerpt covering the final seven minutes, I summarize my thoughts about confidence, being a leader in your own life, maintaining your individuality and humanity in the times we live in, and why the world is relying on you to be successful.

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Tags heart, life coach, love, mindfulness, personal development, personal growth, self awareness, self reflection, truth

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The Change-Up

February 4, 2022 //

When things aren’t quite going your way, it’s easy to fall into the grass-is-always-greener syndrome. But as the saying goes, before you judge a man (or covet his life), walk a mile in his shoes.

You don’t have to turn back the clock, eat a magical fortune cookie, ride in a souped up DeLorean or relieve yourself in an enchanted fountain to discover your life and relationships are exactly as they should be, or get the kick in the butt you need to make them better.

The fact is, our lives are the sum total of all the choices we’ve ever made up until this point — a combination unique unto ourselves. That means we have, on some level, created the situation we’ve wanted or needed in order to learn and grow on this journey called life.

So whatever your state of affairs, take full responsibility for it. The good news is that if you don’t like it, because you got yourself into it, you totally have the power to get out of it!

A lot of my clients right now are at the point of no return, where there’s no more delaying the inevitable. The only thing they can do is to go through — there is no way around, there is no way back — they need to make a change or take action in a certain direction because there’s no alternative, whether because of forced external realities or an internal malaise and dissatisfaction that they can no longer withstand.

Why changes haven’t been made up to now is a more complicated and varied topic for another time. Often it’s a stronger sense of obligation to others, what they want or would make them happy, that prevents us from moving forward to the beat of our own drum. But contrary to Hollywood movie plots, we are the ones who have to live in our bodies, so it’s up to us to do what needs to be done. It’s time to go big or go home.

Not fully convinced that you can move forward without going all topsy-turvy or time travel-y to get it right? Give me a buzz and I’ll be like a freaky fictional device that helps you wake up and smell the coffee. I’ll help you understand and appreciate where you’re at and what changes you can make so that you can learn and experience whatever you need to be the best you can be, Right Here, Right Now.

Today’s PGG was orginally published on September 25, 2012.

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Happy

January 28, 2022 //

While making a purchase last week, I must have been subconsciously but overtly enjoying Pharrell Williams’ snappy tune which was playing on the store’s sound system. The cashier, a young gal probably not more than 21, asked me “Why do all adults love this song?”

Ahhh, youth. First off, I needed to comprehend the fact that I was one of those “adults” she was referring to, which took me a minute because I think I’m 25…She continued, “Yeah, my mom and aunts and all their friends get into it whenever it comes on.”

The uplifting, catchy anthem could not have been released at a better time, after one of the harshest winters on record and accompanying the spring forward of our clocks signaling the imminent arrival of brighter days and warmer weather.

But I think the real gift is its simplicity — its airy, carefree, innocent vibe and powerful lyrics. It cuts through all the heavy stuff we deal with and are responsible for and asks our inner child to dance a little inside and out. Because let’s face it, we all need a break from the warmongering, negative TV shows/movies/video games, political bickering, and multitude of challenges modern life presents us “adults” with on a daily basis — even if it’s for only 3:52 minutes.

A friend of my mom’s who I’ve known over 25 years saw me recently, and with a very perplexed look and completely serious tone asked, “When are you going to start aging?”

I just chuckled. I suppose good genes and moisturizer play a part, but I really attribute it to my frame of mind and lifestyle — I have learned to take care of myself physically and spiritually, and have the tools and discipline to manage my stress (trust me, there is plenty!). I honor and process my emotions, think positive thoughts, and do my best to live in the present and go with the flow, listening to my deepest self and paying attention to the world around me. I operate from my heart (and gut) not my head and value quality over quantity in relationships.

I realize that I am on a journey, and as long as I’m learning and growing and being of service, I am doing something right. I am creative and know how to relax. I’m a practical idealist. I laugh often and cry just as much, if not more. I love. I am committed to being as authentic, balanced and centered as I can be, knowing I’m not “perfect” and that’s OK: I take one day at a time and understand that every problem is an opportunity in disguise, as hard as that might seem to believe in the moment. I am grateful. And lastly, I shake my booty to groovy tunes as much as possible. So yes, I choose to be Happy, because happiness is the truth — and one of the keys to youth.

Need a little help figuring out what happiness is to you? Give me a buzz and I’ll have you clapping along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do. I’ll be there to guide you one step at a time, and make it so can’t nothin’ gonna bring you down! Yeah.

[Fun fact: I had a truly magical interaction with Pharrell (my number one celebrity encounter, and I’ve had a lot) on a NYC sidewalk exactly 6 months after I wrote this PGG and got to give him a HUGE hug and thank him for the joy he inspired all over the world, since it became a global phenomenon that you can see on this playlist on Yo uTube.]

Today’s PGG was orginally published on March 11, 2014.

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Tags happiness, life coach, personal development, personal growth, self awareness, self reflection, stress management

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New Rules

January 21, 2022 //

Rules are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind. ~Douglas MacArthur

There are no rules here — we’re trying to accomplish something. ~ Thomas Alva Edison

One of my all-time favorite films is Strictly Ballroom for a variety of reasons, one of which is how the main character, a world class ballroom dancer wants to use his own steps in competition and the outrage and, ultimately, delight this causes. I’ve always loved to dance but hated formal exercise. Since I’m not out at the clubs much these days, Zumba and cardio salsa at the gym have filled the gap; but I never was into doing exactly what was presented — I generally stand in the back enjoying the music and sort of go along with the group.

I recently found a new class called Nia, which is perfect for me — it includes sections for “free dance” and encourages you to “dance it your way.” It kind of looks like hippie dancing, or what you might do if you were in your room when no one was watching; it’s a great workout that speaks to my body in a way that makes me feel good.

This time of year especially is filled with many traditions and routines, along with thoughts about the changes we want to make in the New Year. My mom has always made the holidays extra-special with borderline excessive (but not at all tacky) decorations around her home, and this year she just wasn’t feeling it. When I suggested she could put up the tree up with a few accent pieces instead of doing the whole Winter Wonderland/Santa’s Workshop, she thought it was impossible — it had to be all or nothing.

I insisted it could be done and took some of the items she put in the same place every year and used them differently. She fought with me tooth and nail, until I proved they would indeed fit in spots she said they wouldn’t. The house looks festive and the mission was accomplished; it feels like a maximum amount of decor with minimal amount of effort! But it was her resistance to change and incredulity that several options and alternatives existed that were the hardest parts to tackle — she simply couldn’t see any other way than how she’s done it year after year.

Tradition can be a good thing, but it’s important to know when those traditions and routines are serving or restricting us. Sometimes you just gotta break the rules, think out of the box, do it “your way”. Where we would we be without the hundreds and thousands of rule-breakers both known and unknown, in every field — especially the arts, science, fashion and civil rights?

But the truth is that often our most fervent rules and regulations have been totally self-imposed, and/or are no longer necessary. It’s easy to get caught up in doing the same old thing just because that’s the way we’ve always done it. Sometimes we need a fresh eye, another brain, to look at the same situation and come up with a new solution, a new way of doing things that we couldn’t see because you were too close or it was too engrained in our psyche.

Wondering if change will serve you better than reinforcing the “rules” you have in place right now, or which walls need to come Tumblin Down and be replaced with some new Moves Like Jagger? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the law enforcement that looks the other way and the instructor that helps you create the right combination of funky steps you can dance to the beat of your own drum!

Today’s PGG was originally posted on November 29, 2011

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The Magic Touch

January 14, 2022 //

Hello

I love myself

We are so happy to be alive

I love my life

Our lives are great

We love ourselves

We love being alive

“I Love My Life” ~ Song & lyrics by my special friend Zachary Miles Lefkowitz, age four and a half, September, 2013

When at a wake recently with my 14-year-old nephew, I recalled to him the time he was about to turn four and I asked if he was excited about his upcoming birthday. He began to cry hysterically saying he didn’t want to have any birthdays. This was because he spent a lot of time around my ailing grandmother who had just passed away in her 80’s and he made the very astute observation that getting older means you are one step closer to dying.

I asked now what it was about death that bothered him most. He did not hesitate for even a second and simply, and very seriously, said “Because you won’t have the exhilarating feeling of being alive.”

I thought this was a profound answer as folks around us were suffering with the loss of our loved one; Jake homed right in on the crux of the matter: We are alive, and we should experience and treasure every moment that aliveness brings us.

Over the weekend I had my first massage in over two years, and it really brought home to me these conversations in the most basic and visceral of ways. Being alive means we are here, in a very physical body in a very physical world. Our body is our vehicle to experience all that life has to offer, so we need to love, appreciate, and take care of it — and, we are also here with other human beings we are meant to love, appreciate, and take care of in a physical way.

Most of us tend to live in our heads and are quite disconnected from our bodies and/or emotions. Getting a massage — whether by a therapist or having a friend or family member give you a little hands-on tender loving care — affirms our beingness, our aliveness, and our connection to and need for one another. Numerous studies have documented the necessity of touch, especially for newborns and the elderly; it is literally what keeps them alive and determines their health and longevity.

Diana Ross famously sang, “Reach out and touch somebody’s hand / Make this world a better place, if you can.” If you’re lucky, you have close relationships where you can exchange physical, affectionate touch on a regular basis. If not, there are lots of alternatives like hugs and various forms of bodywork you can receive from others in appropriate ways and settings.

And sometimes the most special touch can come from a stranger , like from the tourist in Bryant Park over the summer who, while having her photo taken nearby sensed/saw me distraught and crying (even though I thought I was incognito with my sunglasses, hair covering my face and downward glance!), and in one of the most generous, kind moments I have ever experienced, gently put her reassuring, healing hand on my shoulder for a few seconds as she walked by, saying with that one gesture, “I see you, I feel your pain; I don’t know you, speak your language or know why you are upset, but I am here to offer you what comfort I can as a fellow human being.”

So as we go further down this technological highway with its isolating side effects and embark upon the holiday season with the increasing commercial madness it brings, remember the basics: you are here, we are here, let’s love our lives and love one another, and demonstrate that love and compassion in the most tangible and meaningful ways possible.

Not quite sure how? Give me a buzz, because like Robin Thicke reminds us: I got it. You got it. We got the magic touch.

Today’s PGG was originally posted on December 3, 2013

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Tags care, compassion, connection, healing, humanity, life coach, living, love, personal development, personal growth, self awareness, self reflection

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Love Saves the Day

January 7, 2022 //

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace. ~ Jimi Hendrix

If you have been receiving PGGs for a while, worked with me individually or come to one of my group sessions, you know that I talk a lot about love. But the love that I talk about is not some airy-fairy, namby-pamby, hippie-dippy notion one that has been misused, watered-down, misunderstood, or simply lost its meaning with lip service.

Real love is the real deal. As Mahatma Gandhi says “Love is the strongest force the world possesses, and yet it is the humblest imaginable.” Fifty years ago we witnessed an era where our civil rights leaders and all those who were part of that struggle dug deep and called upon this force within themselves to withstand the immense opposition and cruelty they experienced on a daily basis in order to transform society as it existed at the time.

More recently we could not have had a more immediate, direct and tangible example of this phenomenon when one single woman, Antoinette Tuff, used it to save the lives of over 800 people, most of them children, from a lone, heavily loaded mentally ill gunman in Decatur, Georgia. If you do not know the story, or haven’t seen this extraordinary woman talk about what happened, you must learn about her. (Google the numerous stories, or watch one of many interviews and listen to the 911 call )

As humans we are all built from the same stuff. Love doesn’t know race, sexual orientation or religion – if you are human you can love. If you are human you respond to love. As Antoinette and Michael Stipe say, Everybody Hurts sometimes. Everyone needs connection and affection. Compassion and empathy are palpable and are the best antidotes to fear and pain.

If you’ve seen me speak, you know I am always mentioning the fact that the root of the word for courage is Latin for ‘heart’. Which means that true bravery is about connecting to that part of yourself, knowing its innate power, and having faith in a force greater and wiser than yourself (or beyond your ego/brain).

So the next time you find yourself in a challenging situation or being attacked in some form, whether it be mental, emotional, or yes, sometimes even physical, instead of using violence to counteract violence, why not call upon the most powerful weapon at your disposal: L.O.V.E.

Need a little help harnessing the heft of your heart? Give me a buzz and I will show you how to give it a good work-out, because at the end of the day love like is a muscle – the more you use it, the stronger it will become – and who knows what miracles will occur in your life or the lives of others because of it!

Today’s PGG was originally posted on August 23, 2013

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PGG Year in Review

December 31, 2021 //

Happy New Year! Click here for my introductory note about why these are grouped this way along with tips about journaling…. And here you can check out any PGGs you might have missed below, or simply refresh your memory – either way they can set you up for a self-reflective, positive mindset for 2022 🙂

BONUS: These and all other PGGs are searchable on my Medium page which now include an accompanying audio version – so if you’d rather listen then read, we’ve got you covered!

They are all 3- 6 minute reads/listens and are meant to shift your perspective and/or provide some inspiration, hope and motivation to help you along on this journey called life. Enjoy!

New PGGs:

Power Puff

At this massively transformative time in the history of humanity, we must begin to know who we are more deeply, understand and own our intrinsic power, and become familiar with our innate wisdom and what is meaningful, valuable and true for us — especially when so many forces at play would have us do otherwise.

Click here to read or listen to essay in full

Lillies, Loops & Lies

I realized that when this happens, it’s like a switch is turned on that puts me into a very particular loop that keeps going round and round. And because it’s a loop with well-worn grooves, it’s hard to get out of and you feel like it’s reality. But it’s NOT.

Click here to read or listen to essay in full

PGG “Notes from Kristina”*:

*Click on title to read or listen to article on Medium

Responsibility & Reflection

Help bridge the divide in our country by bridging it within yourself

Measure Your Future in Feet

Taking things one day at a time will save you miles

Born at the Right Time

Trust that you will land exactly when and where you are supposed to be

Lost in Space

Prioritizing the pioneering of inner peace versus off-planet populating

Back to School/Back to Ourselves

September is a great time to self-reflect on your grade in this School of Life

Two Hours at a Time

Slow down and tame your tasks with less stress

The Power of Your Voice

Make better use of the gift we all have in order to improve our lives

The Common Denominator

Navigating relationships of all kinds during these challenging times

Fertilizer for the Soul

How accepting death in your life can bring the gift of growth

The Gifts We Give

Acknowledging the value of that which is priceless and timeless.

Additional Essays*:

*Click on title to read or listen to article on Medium

The Women’s Mosaic Turns Twenty

Two decades later, the quest continues to Recognize Our Unity and Celebrate Our Diversity, no matter what form it takes

Twenty Years and One Love

Reflections on that fateful day in NYC, and remembering the unity it inspired

A Matter of Perspective

The uncanny timing of a dictator’s death foreshadows times to come

Astroworld is Our World

A sad and urgent wake-up call for our times

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CLICK HERE FOR FULL PGG ENEW SLETTER WITH INTRODUCTORY NOTE ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS

Get essays like this delivered every Friday to your mailbox as my PGG newsletter by texting CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to join my mailing list.

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!

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Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Click here for some testimonials from past clients

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts. Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

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Tags change, essays, journaling, kristina leonardi, life coach, life coaching, mindfulness, new year new you, personal development, personal growth, self awareness, self reflection

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Drop It Like It’s Hot

December 24, 2021 //

If you’re anything like me, many of my clients, and millions of humans, you are often your own worst enemy and harshest critic. Perhaps you set imaginary limits and keep yourself from experiencing all that life has to offer, holding back for “rational” reasons or because of subconscious thoughts based on irrational fears and silly untruths.

Since I can’t clone myself (yet!?), I, too, sometimes need an outside brain to get a little perspective and see things I can’t quite perceive within myself. And because the majority of my work as a coach is listening, sometimes I, like all humans, just need to talk and be heard.

Therefore, I am ever-grateful for my closest friends and unofficial therapists who support me in various ways and set me straight (whether they know it or not) with additional insights and tools I need to become unblocked, make adjustments and move forward.

Because I spend an extraordinary amount of quality time with myself and practice what I preach/write, one thing I most definitely am is self-aware. So when I get to a point when I gain even more awareness of things I probably should have been aware of in the first place, I can get into a cycle of beating myself up for not being aware enough! As my holistic healer friend Noga Kreiman says, “Ah, the problems of being a conscious person!”

Along with a new awareness I recently gained came feelings of ickiness, shame, stupidity, and all-around disgust for allowing things not to have clicked for me in a certain way up until this point. This did not feel good, but in a twisted way felt right, because I was punishing myself, which seemed appropriate for the transgression against yours truly. Oh, how the ego loves that!

As I always say, your time and energy are your most precious resources. And punishing yourself or beating yourself up is a waste of those valuable commodities and serves no purpose (except that it can greatly adversely affect your health!) So what do you do?

I normally have a few tools in my toolbox to process such a spell, but thanks to Noga, I was introduced to a new one: Pretend the feeling is like holding a pen in your hand, and just drop it. DONE. GONE. ARRIVEDERCI. Since I have developed quite the strong muscle for being in the present and monitoring my thoughts, I simply needed to transfer this skill to eliminating useless, unproductive, and destructive emotions! And guess what? It works.

So for this week’s PGG, I really just wanted to share that. And for all of you out there who could use a little more awareness yourself, need someone to talk to (with x-ray vision and supersonic hearing) who can offer you some insights and tools or simply need a little help developing your own presence muscle, give me a buzz. I’ll be there to meet you wherever you are at in da funky club of life!

Today’s PGG was originally posted on August 13, 2013

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Tags change, life coach, mindfulness, personal development, personal growth, self awareness, self love, self reflection, self worth

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Tomorrow is Now

December 17, 2021 //

Humanity with all its fears,

With all the hopes of future years,

Is hanging breathless on thy fate!

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Those words may seem a little dramatic, but many of you know my philosophy is that personal transformation is the key to social transformation. And as I also always say, we are living in extraordinary times.

There is a reason you are born in the year and place you were, with the characteristics — physical, mental and emotional — and every circumstance that you alone possess.

Our country and our world are in the midst of an identity crisis, which brings with it some tough growing pains. Things are shifting and reaching their breaking point on every level. Whatever the issue — racial injustice; a government and economy that works without legislating by greed or medieval definitions of morality; having the courage to speak up for what it means to be comfortable in your own skin regardless of the gender you appear to be vs. what you know you are; your rights to your sexual orientation; the Earth crying out for healing with earthquakes and extreme weather and the subsequent destruction and crises that force us to work together — the Universe is pushing us to our limits and asking us to stretch our ultimate acceptance of each other as part of the same human family.

Change brings with it the unknown, which makes most people kind of bonkers. Perhaps you or a loved one is going through a health crisis, experiencing a breakup or loss, recovering from a natural disaster, transitioning from male to female, or is in between jobs or graduating into the “real” world. Not knowing what’s next, or realizing that what once was can no longer be is unsettling, to say the least, when we don’t have the tools and perspective to cope.

One antidote to this anxiety is remembering that everyone has a gift to offer, and when you discover and use that gift in the present, it is much easier to trust what may come tomorrow.

If you want to heal others, you don’t have to be a doctor or a nurse; you can be like the 23-year-old young man who so lovingly, respectfully and skillfully transports extremely vulnerable patients from their hospital beds to their procedures, making their day just a little less stressful and providing much comfort and ease to help alleviate the fear such a situation entails.

You can connect and find common ground with, or even protest for, the rights of someone who is seemingly different from you. You can send a text to see how your friend is doing. You can write a song or book, or paint a picture that brings even just a few moments of joy and uplift to someone in the midst of a challenging situation. And I once heard, and live by the motto that the greatest gift you can give to the world is your own healed life.

Maybe you do have the big, profound idea that will literally change the way we live or save millions of lives, but maybe you just allow yourself to be who you are and pursue your highest calling, no matter what that is or what it looks like, or how different it may be from everyone around you, knowing that someone will benefit from your efforts should you have the courage to walk that path.

You matter. Everyone has a part to play in the healing of our planet, regardless of how big or small. We are all trying to survive and thrive the best we can. We must resist the tendency for technology to make us robots and feel disconnected to others; we can all do something every day that is of service to someone else or expresses gratitude for the service someone has offered us.

Life matters. What we do right now determines how we will live tomorrow. As the poet Mary Oliver says, “The patterns of our lives reveal us. Our habits measure us. Our battles with our habits speak of dreams yet to become real.” We are here to heal the wounds of our world and to lend our voice, talent, passion, money and action to leave it a better place with our having existed. What kind of presence — not wishful thinking — are you giving to today, knowing that it will make a better tomorrow?

Not quite sure what your part in the future is? I’m no Disney-fied version of George Clooney, but I can nevertheless inspire you to make the most of today, or assure you, like a little orphan named Annie, that the sun will always come out, because tomorrow is only a day away …

Today’s PGG was originally posted on May 5, 2015

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Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Click here for some testimonials from past clients

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts. Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

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Tags change, future, life path, personal development, personal growth, self awareness, self reflection

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All That You Can’t Leave Behind

December 10, 2021 //

I recently attended the funeral of a good friend’s father. He was Ukrainian, along with most of his relatives and friends, so everything was conducted in his native language. At the brunch after the burial, a woman stood up and read with great emotion what she had written on a few sheets of loose-leaf paper while many of us choked up.

I saw her by the ladies’ room soon after and mentioned how beautiful her speech was. In broken English, she went on about how she messed up and it didn’t come out the way she wanted, etc. I stopped her mid-sentence and said, “I don’t speak a word of Ukrainian.” Puzzled, she replied, “Well, I just spoke from my heart.” And I said, “Yes, that’s why it was so beautiful.”

I often begin my seminars reminding the attendees that someday, hopefully in the very distant future, they will die. Perhaps it’s morbid, but like change and taxes, death is one of the few certainties in life. When you look at your existence through that lens, before a crisis forces you to do so, it can be extremely powerful in helping to organize your thoughts and actions in a way nothing else can.

When we can accept it, our own mortality, or that of those closest to us, really puts things in perspective: What is it that we value? What and whom do we hold dear? What is real and meaningful for us? And when you look back on your life, how do you want to have used your time and energy while you were here? What is the mark that you want to leave on the world? How do you want people to remember you when you are gone?

Death and dying remind us that when all the external stuff falls away, what’s left? You can’t take that designer bag, fancy car or impressive job title. It cuts to the core and brings us to the one essential thing that every human being desires — to love and to be loved in return.

At the end of the day, all you have is the impact of the life you led, mostly found in close connections with others and memories you’ve shared. You may never know the effect you’ve had on strangers, and family dynamics can of course be complicated, but remember, you choose your friends, and true friends who have been a part of your journey are precious; they are there regardless of too much time having passed or petty misunderstandings.

A crisis will always give us clarity as to what’s important and what we can offer one another. If you let them, all that comes to the surface are love and compassion. And to be there for someone, to have the opportunity to be a healing presence in whatever form that may take, is a gift for both the giver and receiver.

As we start to wind down and reflect on this past year, think about which parts of you can bite the dust, allowing for a rebirth accompanied by a deeper commitment to honor and cherish your relationship with yourself and the healthy ones you have with others, to cultivate new connections that will enrich your journey, and to reaffirm your relationship to life itself.

Not sure what you would want to hear when you go or simply want to develop more fully all that you can’t leave behind? Give me a buzz and I’ll help you Walk On, and be able to feel good about it all, here and now.

Today’s PGG was originally posted on April 4, 2012

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If you like what I write, you’ll love what I have to say in person!

CLICK HERE TO BOOK ME AS A COACH

Click here for info about my coaching and speaking services and contact me today.

Click here for some testimonials from past clients

Click here for a video that explains some ways I can help you as a coach

**CLICK HERE FOR MY PODCAST-STYLE INTERVIEW WITH RICK YOUNG OF WHAT’S IN YOUR HAND RADIO SHOW**

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter for up to date posts, helpful articles and inspirational thoughts. Slowly building my YouTube channel so you check that out and subscribe too!

Text CLEARLYKRISTINA to 22828 to be added to my mailing list and be in the loop with my coaching and workshops as well as have these essays delivered to your inbox!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Click here to watch video

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Read over 100 5-star “Yelp” style reviews here

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Read more about me and my work in these past PGG’s:

Tags personal development, personal growth, self awareness, self reflection

Categories Uncategorized

Truth No. 2

The Change-Up

Happy

New Rules

The Magic Touch

Love Saves the Day

PGG Year in Review

Drop It Like It’s Hot

Tomorrow is Now

All That You Can’t Leave Behind

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